I admit it freely; Tonks is my favourite character in the Harry Potter series. I hate what JK Rowling did to her all through books six and seven (also known as The Unforgivables), but I love the character to pieces.


I also confess to reading a great deal of fanfiction where Tonks is paired with Harry and/or other hot women of the series. Curiously, mentioned almost as often as her metamomorphmagical talents and her innate clumsiness is...well...here are a few excerpts from various fanfic...

From 'Rivers of Blood', by Soulforger, as thought by Harry regarding an image of Tonks he is watching:

From 'The Chimera: More Snake than Lion', written by Apocalypso-33:

In Kinsfire's 'Paradigm Shift', Tonks has this to say after catching Harry staring at her while she's bending over:

I myself once wrote in Gene-Spliced Harry:

And there are many more examples, from many more authors, all with the same basic idea: Nymphadora Tonks has the most bangable backside in the British Isles, and quite possibly beyond.


Where is all of this coming from? Is there some canon source for this tidbit of knowledge? Some hormonal internal monologue of Harry's regarding Tonks' arse within JK Rowling's works that I cannot for the life of me remember? Was there some poll or in-depth discussion that I missed? Or did some sneaky fucker travel through time and space to Mount Sinai, club Moses across the back of the head with a copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, then carve an Eleventh Commandment onto the back of one of the stone tablets, reading; 'Thou shalt covet Tonks' booty' while the old man was down for the count?

 

Um...I would suspect it comes from the fact that she has the ability to change her appearance at will, and will most likely choose to be as hot as she can be...choosing to be ugly is a bit counter-intuitive really, though it would have its uses occasionally.

And arse is much easier to go on about, as everyone has different opinions on tits

 

I think actually it's more interesting because Tonks is the perfect body blank slate. And people writing that are unconsciously telling the world "I'm an ass man."

Nothing wrong with that. I'm not quite as much an ass man as Cypher, Yarrgh, Soulforger or Kinsfire apparently (no plans for Lovegood, Ass Gooder). Somewhat comforting to know there's a healthy amount of pervs out there.

 

Perhaps because Tonks would change her bust size to go with whatever face she happened to be wearing, but the killer arse gets to stay?

I for, one, am not complaining. It's better than quite a few other pieces of fanon out there.

Also, Cypher, you have a way with words that makes me laugh. Onya.

 

I really wonder why their isn't more Honks smut. It has so many possibilities! I've read like two on AFFnet and they were crap. I mean, Remus and the whole beastiality/werewolf thing is fine and all for some people when dealing with Tonks, but why the hell would I want to read bout him instead of Harry Potter. I want moar Honks smut! MOAR!