Well, I could help with that. I've read all the manga, and pretty much every good piece of FF out there, so I'll probably notice anything obvious.


Edit: Ah, just noticed the PM thing.

 

Hi. Just wanted to mention that thanks to the yeoman efforts of Vylos and Iztiak (thanks again, guys!) my first effort in this fandom has reached a state where I felt comfortable posting it. It's titled Moonless Night and I put it on ff.net this morning.

Sree and Dark Syaoran, when you guys get around to closing out this thread, I'd suggest leaving open a general Naruto fanfiction thread of some flavor. That way there's a home for queries like mine and where stories can be listed that aren't up to Library standards or don't deserve a separate thread.

 

It's pretty good. It was hard to follow until I realised the format, but other than that, I've got no complaints. Solid 4... you could've gotten a five had it been longer.

 

Dear Christ. This is the ending of that fic, The True Monster.

Spoiler

When the transformation was complete a massive nine tail fox composed of living flame stood towering above the village. The Hokage Tower lay crushed to rubble beneath a single paw. The nine tail fox could hear the maddening roar of thousands of screams rising into the air. From every direction the brave ninja of Konoha launched themselves at him in a mad rush. Dimly he picked out the sound of birds chirping, cries about the springtime of youth, a couple shadows merged with his to no effect, someone actually tried to take over his mind and it felt like a tiny annoying voice somewhere in the background. Genjutsus were cast and he was struck by all sorts of weapons and explosive tags. He was hit by multiple jutsus using lightning, water, wind, earth, and even fire. He shrugged off the combined might of Konoha’s ninja as a lion might have shrugged off a few flea bites.


This was why he’d waited until he’d had nine tails. No ninjutsu and no weapon could harm him. He opened his mouth and spoke.
“People of Konoha,” his monstrous voice crashed down on them. “Know that I am not Kyuubi or any other demon. I am Uzumaki Naruto, son of Namikaze Minato and Uzumaki Kushina. I was born in this village and would have been your willing servant and protector. But your own hatred towards me would never allow that. If I am your enemy it is because you chose to make me that. I am certain you see me as a monster. Know then that to my eyes the people of this village are the true monsters. When I was a helpless child the people of this village tried to burn me alive. It was a crime committed by this village against me, a crime that was never punished. But today there will be punishment.” He slapped his head back and opened wide his jaws. “YOU DESERVE THIS!” And out of his mouth poured a river of white fire. It filled the streets and consumed everything it touched. Ninja and villagers died instantly. Steel and glass melted while stone cracked apart and tuned to dust. The fire poured and poured and poured out of him until the entire space beneath the gold dome was engulfed in it.


When he finally finished there was nothing left of the village, not even rubble. There was nothing but square miles of blackened earth. The Hokage monument was left mostly intact. The faces of the first four Hokages remained, but where the fifth one would have been there were only claw marks.


Thus did the great ninja village perish.

Fucking horrible story.

 

Ahahah, so fail that it's win. :awesome

 

That segment wasn't too bad, until Naruto started speaking that is. The concept wasn't terribly interesting, now I'm glad I didn't waste my time.

 

I have to admit that I started reading that fic.

I stopped when I realized that Naruto was riding a bus.

 

What the hell are you dipshits posting in this thread for? Spread story discussion out to threads for individual stories.

 

Telling someone to shut-up only adds to the noise.vAnd it makes you look like a dick.

A soft, dripping, fag dick.

 

There is a Naruto section in the Other Fandoms. Use it.