Just curious on your choice of naming the prison, Geor... why'd you name the upper level 'Jigoku no Tsuchi' (btw it says jigoku o tsuchi in the fic, a tiny typo there)? It sounds a little repetitive, considering Jigoku isn't really the Western idea of hell (I think it's Buddhism) and sort of considers the idea "earth" in it. Jigoku is "earthen prison" I believe. Jigoku no Tsuchi would be 'The earth prison's earth' or 'earth of the earthen prison' ... which is a little odd? Maybe I'm just shitty at Japanese.

 

Lol. It's been up for over a week now. But in any case, it was a very interesting chapter. I especially enjoyed the Hanabi/Lee interaction.

 

Does your fic go into Shino's death?

 

. . . I think you need to re-read the latter half of volume 2.

 

Chime??

I tend to name things oddly, or for odd reasons, and half the time I forget why I named them as such in the first place. However, upon going back to see what the hell I wrote, this is what I figured out.

1) Context wise 'Jigoku no Tsuchi' refers to the lower level of Haitoshi, where the worst of the worst goes. This is the place Orochimaru, and the other big bad's of Shinobi Wars would end up if they weren't excuted.

2) As for what 'Jigoku no Tsuchi' means, I probably botched it, but its supposed to translate into something along the lines of 'Hell on Earth'. In this context 'Jigoku' can refer to the either the Buddhist Hell or simply be a word for a place of punishment. 'No' indicates possessive among other uses, meaning it can be translated in various possessive meanings. 'Tsuchi' obviously means earth.

Hence how I got 'Hell on Earth'. 'Ikijigoku' of course is the proper term for 'Hell on Earth', but considering my readers I left something they should be able to translate somewhat accurately. Some people will notice the inaccuracy, but at least this way most people should get the idea.

Sincostan
As someone else suggested, re-read Volume 2. Speifcally Chapter 11, its only a passing mention but it should answer questions (though I've reedited this for ff.net to cut out the 'why' and just leave the 'surprise').


Chapter 16, for those interested, should be up sometime today in celebration of reaching another year.

 

Brilliant. Thank you for the gift!

 

Chapter 16's up. Hidden though so you'll just need to change the chapter number to a 16 in the url.

 

Ohh I see now why I didn't understand your translation.

I tend to view tsuchi more as the elemental idea 'earth', since 'sekai' (世界) and 'chikyuu' (地球) encompass the ideas of earth or world more accurately (I believe you could use tsuchi to refer to any 'earth' like the ground on mars, while chikyuu is an idea specific to our earth). I could be wrong (the only example use I know of with tsuchi would be 'tsuchi o kakeru' 'to cover with earth' ie to bury), but that's what was confusing me, since you meant 'hell on earth'.

Really it's a minor detail, but it was throwing me for a loop, lol. Thanks for taking the time to explain it.

 

S'ok, always happy to clear up questions...unless there plot related.

But yeah, I get where the problem came from. I used Tsuchi mainly because Iwa/Hidden Rock is based out of Tsuchi no Kuni/Earth Country, I figure the average reader should be able to key in on Tsuchi as meaning earth.

Anyway, enjoy the new chapter and let me know if anything else throws you for a loop. Keeps me from getting bored.

 

Alright so I just finished chapter sixteen, very nice I wasn't very sure about Hanabi for a while but that was awesome and Shino's back that's always kewl, I apologize for my doubts Lord Geor-sama.

 

You still have a problem with the whole your/you're thing, and I've seen you misspell casually/causally a few times. The kind of things a spellcheck would miss, though repeatedly seeing Naurto does get a bit aggravating at times.

Still, having read through most of Altered History and all of Shinobi Wars in the last 12 hours, I can safely say this is now one of my favourite series. I'll give it a 4/5, because spelling/grammar could be better and I have unusually high standards.

Also, I'm wondering where exactly it was mentioned that Shino was still alive... And whether Naruto truly is a sociopath. He seems very sadistic, but he does truly care about certain people...

 

Am I the only one here who completely ignores every Japanese, untranslated name?

>_>

<_<

I mean... it's casual reading, and it breaks the immersion and pace if you have to go look up the definition... right?

Maybe I'm just lazy. v.v

 

You might be, however I do think foreign names present an immersion break (unless their meaning contribute significantly to the story)... especially jutsu names.

But it feels weird to write English in some places, so you'll just have to put up with it.

 

It's rather like spells in Harry Potter fiction. It's awkward to name a spell "Fireball Spell!" and much more canon-like to give a Latin translation instead.

But I do agree that apart of proper names, Japanese translations should be used sparingly.

 

You did read the last chapter right?

 

I'm fine with Jutsu names being in Japanese. Even fine with short spruces in dialog [Hai, sensei!, etc.].

But to cite a specific example in the most recent chapter... y'know, the one where Kakashi's main group was picking a name for themselves?

Niju Shotai
Kinnouka Butai
Kage Butai
Kage Seiei

I had no idea what any of that meant, and they're all describing something.

 

Krogan

I don't mind doubters, better than just 'omg awesome!' men. Actually I'm just glad you enjoyed the chapter.

Aekiel

Hm, yet another series of reminders why I am not a professional author. (But seriously, am I STILL doing that 'Naurto' thing? Cause I would have sworn I stopped that stupid typo.)

Naruto's sociopathic tendencies are something of a debate, Jiriaya said 'mild' you say 'sadistic'. I would perfer 'psychopath', but apparently that's become synamous with sociopath since the last time I studied Psychology (or maybe my textbook was out of date back then).

Maybe it would be better to say that he has tendencies towards sociopathy? Meh, I will admit he is a very sadasitic bastard, though how sadistic you've yet to even glimpse. Besides, he's Naruto he could be a sociopath and defy the normal defination.


Zarent (and everyone else on the japanese thing)

Its just how I write, back when I first started in Tenchi I would have whole sentences/conversations in japanese. After a while I got to the point of 'why the hell am bothering? Fuck I'll just use them in certain instances but screw this whole conversation thing'.

Hence proper places, titles, technqiues and group names are in japanese.

As for the group names in the last chapter:
Niju Shotai: Twenty Legions, as found in the manga
Kinnouka Butai: Loyalist Force (or unit, corps, echelon, element)
Kage Butai: Shadow Force (or unit, corps, echelon, element)
Kage Seiei: Shadow Elite
Maybe I should have used english, but meh, habits and all that.

 

Oops, forgot about his personal site >_>.

 

The japanese doesn't bother me. If I don't know what it is, I ignore it, and I could figure out from context clues what Kage Seiei meant.

 

Alright so I just finished the new chapter 17 and I'm curious, the situation with Karin is interesting, on one hand I would say that its a bad move and has failed for authors in the past but I really think that your a talented enough writer that you could pull it off so I'll have to wait and see it where it goes. Also I am very happy with where the situation with Hanabi is going, the cycle is starting to repeat itself, Orochimaru trained Anko as his loyal soldier who did the same to Naruto and who is now doing the same to Hanabi. All I ask is that you don't have any sudden emotional revelations for Naruto or Hanabi, the path of she's becoming his personal killing machine is just so win. All in all great new chapter and I'm looking forward to chapter 18.