A little surprised by the whole sister thing. I figured Kabuto would have engaged them...thank god he didn't, right..Looking forward to finding out exactly how much Shino has advanced..and whether or not he'll be placed on a team with Naruto, Ino and Hanabi permanently. I'm also curious to see where this whole Hanabi thing goes..

 

I don't really understand why Ino and Shino think Hanabi's instant death move is so horrible. Yes yes, she's young and there are potential psychological effects, but Konoha is a nation of ninja... I'd think they'd be prepared to deal with that sort of thing. Besides, it's not like Hanabi's killing them with a knife or something, her kills are much cleaner and therefore less injuring to her young mind... maybe I just don't like the idea of a nation of assassins having an anti-killing morality. Maybe you could explain it better? What's Konoha's real stance on killing? Do they see killing as the ideal method or a last resort? Are Shino and Ino in the minority?

Karin as Naruto's sister sounds interesting, but invariably difficult to swallow. How does it work? Kushina had a child before she met Minato? Isn't Karin like 20 something? Wasn't Kushina under 20 (I'm guessing 16 or 17) when she met Minato?

 

According to Leafninja, she's 16 in Part II, making her roughly the same age as Naruto and Sasuke. Not impossible for her to be Naruto's sister, I guess, but eh...

 

That Karin thing was a big let-down, honestly. Extremely difficult to swallow and just adds more angst. Really, I definitely did not like this twist of the plot.

Having said that, I did enjoy the rest of the chapter. It was very interesting.

 

It hardly seems angsty. I didn't want to cry upon the revelation nor did it pull my heartstrings in any character's direction. Plotwise I don't think it's a big deal either way. It only matters where the story goes from here.

How is Karin as a sister so much different (AUwise) from an Ino matchup, Hanabi as a student, or Anko as a teacher? The last three are common, possibly even cliched tropes though not supported in canon, while I've never heard of this before. These things are "mildly" implausible. It piques my interest a little.

Don't we know very little about Naruto's parents and their backstory? Even still, I don't mind if Naruto's parents story were radically rewritten excepting the elements important to the story (4th hokage, died sealing, etc.).

It's implausible given what little information we have now, but isn't that the point of reading the story? Do you react negatively because a long-lost sibling (another cliche, but it's definitely not a WTF mary sue) appears? Didn't this Naruto have a fling with Yugito? If that could happen, so could Karin. Also isn't canon Yugito much older than Naruto? At least 10 years and much higher ranked.

 

It's possible to twist anything and everything in fanon. That's not the point.

The point is that there is always a point where one takes the story too far. That boundary depends on the person.

But I personally feel that any sibling!character to Naruto is just... meh.

 

The real problem lies in how Karin will be used. I have a feeling it's just so Naruto will have a more difficult fight. I mean, first uber sound-ninja were invented so Geor didn't have to conjure up ninja capable of taking on Naruto. Now we have Karin, a person Naruto will want to hold back on because he's related to her. It feels like a forced conflict.

Perhaps some... foreshadowing, you know? Some hints or casual mentions of Karin and her history a few chapters before could have better prepared us for this. It's a bit sudden and feels unplanned, though, it's hard to say whether Karin will imrpove or overcomplicate this story.

 

What's the name of Naruto's genjutsu seal, and how does it work?

 

Wait a mintue! Wasn't it stated in Altered History that Naruto was Minato's newphew? When did it switch?

 

I'm pretty sure it was his younger brother, but the author went back and retcon'd it.

At least I think this is the story I'm thinking of.

 

No, the paternity test reveals Minato as his father. Remember: after Naruto defeats Gaara, he reveals to Ino in the hospital that he's the Yondaime's son.

Edit: Howdy might be right. I came too late upon this story to know whether it's been retconned or not.

As Chime states, Karin's introduction is too sudden. It could have been better done; by throwing her status as "Naruto's sister" out there, Georsama forces our preconceptions of "OC sister" to take precedence. I don't know about everyone else, but prior experience with these characters in other fanfiction has not left a good impression on me.

 

God, I hate Karin.

Did anyone else think of Cthulhu when Pein was musing over the statue?

 

Wow, everyones got a lot to say on this Karin issue. I'd say I was surprised but, well, I'm not.

So to address this:

Karin's relationship with Naruto is a uniquely ambiquious one, its designed to make people wonder if she really is his sister or not. Really she's an intro to a concept that comes later, so its not a sudden jolt.

I'll probably have to readjust things though, iunno, but meh.

Also, the only point that I could have fesible introduced her earlier would have been waaaaay back when Kabuto and Sakon were searching for the assassin of Gato. Maybe I should have, I could probably go back and recton that so she is there, but I'm not sure I want to bother or not. Either way, just read and see how this goes...

Minato as brother vs Minato as Father:

It was rectoned about the time I got to Karin's apperance. I had actually written 15 or so chapters previous to the confirmation and even then I might have ignored it, but everybody and their brother was yelling at me about this. Apparently AU is only acceptable as long as you don't go so far away from certain facts...

(Btw, this is also in reference to Karin, that being we know next to NOTHING about her past. I had to give her something and now it seems people are upset over this so...blaghal!)

Rehio:
Yeah, I referenced the Big C.

 

Lol, I think it's mostly to do with the fact that a majority of fans simply dislike Karin. Sasuke fangirl and all that.

 

I also liked the Cthulhu reference you threw in the latest chapter, though I'm unsure as to whether that was serious or not. As potentially epic as it sounds, mixing in Cthulhu with something like this would be astoundingly difficult in my eyes. Another author tried it and failed, though not so bad as to ruin the story, but in this case I can't see it working (you not having really captured the feel of Lovecraft at all through the course of the story).

Also, while I have read all of the manga, Karin as a ninja does interest me. Her personality may not be anything special but her abilities do seem rather useful, though your twist in possibly making her Naruto's sister has added an extra dimension to her. I'll watch some more before passing judgement, because I'm nice like that .

Finally, I have to comment on that spectacular fight between Kakuzu and the Sanbi Jinchuuriki. While I may have a slight fascination with the bijuu and their hosts, this has been the first time I've seen the Sanbi done well as well as Kakuzu's comment on most jinchuuriki being limited in their abilities. It does make sense for that to be the case, Killerbee and Naruto being the obvious exceptions considering their intimate relationships with their respective kages.

Oh yeah, one more question, is Killerbee going to be included in this at all?

 

Are you going to use the character drawings for the Jinchuuriki to attempt to draw a little bit of diversity between them?

 

Aekiel:

Oh, its not serious. I'm not trying to catpure the Lovercraft mythos, that's an entirely different fic, one that will never see the light of day. Mostly I just like making references to my favorite things, reading my fics is 90% enjoyment of story and 10% trying to spot the references. I actually out do myself though, I make two references to Cthulhu!

I'd appreciate the fact that your willing to wait and see what happens with Karin.

I'm also glad to hear that you enjoyed the Kakuzu vs Sanbi Jinchuriki fight. It was a last minute decision to include him, the orginal plot had the Sanbi bijuu just capture like in Canon, but then we got the manga with the pic of all the Jinchuriki. So I went, damn, I gotta add at least one...lets go WATER! So now I'm rewriting plot to make room from him.

As for the Jinchuriki being limited in techniques, as Jiriaya says in Altered History: 'normal techniques are considered pointless for Jinchuriki'. There ultimate weapons, with unnatural technqiues granted from their bijuu (explained in more detail in a coming chapter, but each Jinchuirki has *one* Onijutsu active from birth ex: Naruto's healing and Yugito's death touch...)

But yeah, Naruto and Killerbee have more traditional techniques than any other Jinchuriki, but you'll notice the Sanbi and soon to come Yugito have made an effort to learn normal techniuqes as well.

Killerbee is going to be included, though he won't make an appearence for a few more chapters. I gotta polish his fight, cause his opponet is...yeah...its gotta be great.

Verse of Darkness:

I've already used a character drawing for the Sanbi Jinchuriki...but other than him probably not. The others (barring Naruto, Gaara, Yugito and KillerBee) are captured.

 

Updated. http://georsama.110mb.com/sw18.htm