Title: Naruto: The Doctor
Author: Eteyrich
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: M
Summary: AU - Medic!Naruto. He was an overqualified medic-nin, a prodigy in his art and also well off financially. His life is perfect, so once it's ruined when the Hokage decides that he should be out in the field more and meeting people his age, how will he adjust?

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8298517/1/Naruto_The_Doctor

This is a fairly entertaining fic authored by someone that is competent. He includes some plot devices that are fairly original. Also, the balance of power is well-wrought so far; Naruto doesn't curbstomp everything that comes his way. The characters are also not so one-dimensional in this story.

There are a few cliches that almost made me x out of the fic right away, but don't let them put you off. The author is able to pull most of them off quite convincingly.

His update rate is phenomenal as well

 

This is for work by authors, as in things the OP has written and wants critique on. If you're just talking about a story, you should either post it here: http://forums.darklordpotter.net/forumdisplay.php?f=90 (the Other Review Board for non-HP fandoms)

or here: http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?p=582725#post582725 which is the other fandom's almost recommendable thread if you don't think it fits DLP's standards.



But considering you're a first year, I thought you'd know that. >.>

EDIT: Also, anyone else think this was a Naruto/DW crossover at first?

 

I fail at lurking

Noted

 

The writing noticeably improves over the course of the story, so there is that; always interesting seeing an author learn to write like that.

Plot wise, the story is fine, its got its shtick, some interesting character development, and the dialogue is good, which is in itself good, as nothing kills a story faster than poor dialogue.

The biggest issue I have with this story is pacing. The initial pseudo wave arc began and ended so fast I wasn't sure if it was even supposed to be significant. Then we get this nice long character interaction with Naruto, which took its sweet time (not saying it was too long, but was in sharp contrast to the wave arc). The whole emotional interaction with Rin and Jiraya was good, but sudden. We knew something was off with Naruto, and then we find out what that problem is and have it solved withing a couple paragraphs of each other. Also, some of the scenes you wrote were just silly, and very off tone in comparision to the rest of the story (the whole deal with Asuma and Kakashi having nervous breakdowns over Bee and Gai interacting.

But, the story is good. I really did enjoy Naruto's and Rin's characterizations, and how consistent they were (even through Naruto seemed to be a borderline ripoff of house in the beginning ). The times we saw Jiraya also left a good impression.

I feel like I'm forgetting stuff as I write, so I'm gonna summarize now while I remember.

Pros: Characterization; flavor; plot or what has been seen of it; dialogue.

Cons: Some off pace, silly scenes; pacing; spelling.

 

Really? No one? I have to be "That Guy"? Fine.


I've failed to notice anything 'good' about this story; the characters all read like the exact same person, the spelling and grammar are atrocious, and to top it all off, we have a cut and paste Super!Smart!Awesome!Naruto who trounces everyone in one massive wankfest to his own 'horrid' past.

tl; dr? Dont bother. Its a waste of thirty minutes that you could spend doing something constructive; Like vomiting.

1/5 for the sheer reason that it has been quite awhile that I've seen such a piece of work touted as 'Competent'.

 

2/5

The writing is mediocre, the story idea is not that great and the characterization sucks.

 

Nothing Special. It could be considered a guilty pleasure at best. It would really only belong in the Almost Recommended thread.

2/5 Bland, boring and has nothing that sets it apart from other stories of the same plot.

 

Good god. I read 8 chapters.

I was horrified by the characterizations, I was horrified by the plot, I was horrified by the annoying-as-fuck fox summons. I was annoyed by Rin and Kakashi moments. I hated how Naruto dealt with Zabuza. I hated everything about reading this. The writing was subpar - it failed in literally every way that mattered.

And the subject matter isn't even interesting. The author wants to create conflict by

Spoiler

introducing Kabuto, but then Naruto has to be cool enough to deal with him. Naruto kills an assassin and they blow up his ramen WHO THE FUCK GIVES A SHIT ABOUT RAMEN, WHY IS ALL THAT RAMEN CRAP NOT CONFINED TO CRACK FICS

Overall, completely disappointed. I thought it would be a good time-waster because 2.5 stars or so, but really..

Fail/5

 

It delivers consistency, with appropriate characters. The plot is bland, the characterization is downright plageristic, and the tone is just dead. And yet I kept reading it anyway. 2/5

 

Anyone else get the sense this is a Naruto/House MD crossover b/c it certainly felt like one for the better part of the story.

However, as far as characterization and plot goes it's not as bad as people are making it seem like. Now, I am not saying its worth 5/5, but its at least average material. What I found irritating the most was the author's need to address the "power corrupts...absolutely" spiel, its been done so many times in fanfiction that I hit the back button the minute I see it.

3/5 because the House MDish parts were mildly humorous.

 

1/5

I dont always review but when i do, the story fails.

This story is such a let down that i felt i must share, and warn everyone off.

The wrting was rough around the edges. The characters weren't even close to being shadows of their real selves. And lastly Plot?! What plot oh and the fox summons! Come-on.

 

Contrary to general consensus, I quite liked it. 3/5 for me, I would like to see it in the Library. There are fics already in the library no better than this.

 

It wasn't particularly bad, though not that great either. Naruto a House like doctor okay, but it doesn't really explore medic nin, the kinds of problems they face, or medical ninjutsu with its various applications and limits.

Okay plot, but still feels like rehash. 3/5

 

Honestly, I feel like the only reason why it deserves such a low rating is due to people hating the AU characterization. Nonetheless, I found it to be a good time-waster, the writing is readable, and the author is currently hinting toward Naruto getting a slap walk-up call. 3/5 for Average fic.

 

Chuck it into the almost recommended bin.

It has a lot of potential.

Too bad the plot resolves in like 3 seconds.

Like there's this whole thing about Naruto previously using the Kyuubi's power and wtf owning everything.

And then angsting over it because he doesnt want to become a monster.

And this... resolves in about...

3 paragraphs.

I shit you not.

There's a chance for real development real character growth and it resolves with a " oh No Naruto, Minato didnt intend for that to happen. you're not a monster."

"Oh okay. Im going to use the Kyuubi's power now. kthxbye."

:|

 

The first chapter felt like the author wanted Naruto to be House... I enjoy House and I enjoy Naruto being semi smart, but Naruto literary being House isn't a good fit. The characters feel like plastic. Not for me.

1/5

 

Interesting concept, but it never seems to quite make it. I thought everyone here was being pretty harsh at first, but the house influences are a little too strong to stomach. Like the client hours, I think there are way better and original ways to establish his character.

Still, the writing is alright and there hasn't been much else worth reading for Naruto lately anyways. 2/5

 

See a Houselike Naruto I think would be pretty interesting to read. It just that for this one it falls flat, rapidly starts to veer towards the super Naruto territory and starts resolving its plot points in a couple of paragraphs. Like I said, Naruto actually doesnt want to use the Kyuubi because he doesnt want to feel like a monster. He had a bad experience with it previously.

Now this could be resolved by him doing soul searching or talking with other people about it. Maybe take up a couple of chapters or even weave it within other plot threads.

instead it literally resolves in 3 paragraphs with

"lolno, thats not why he sealed it in you. u not monster."

"k. i use kyuubi power nao. thx."