Ok, just had an idea to try my hand at writing fan-fics. This bunny hit me the other day, and I think that it's quite original, and should fit in with most of Potter Law.

Basically, its going to be an AU, dark, independent Harry-central fic (cliche so far, but stay with me). I've decided to start the AU somewhere in the middle of PoA, before he has found out about Sirius being innocent. There wont be much of third year changed, except for Harry beginning to start a friendship with Daphne Greengrass, and starting to lose his friendship with Weasley and Granger. Obviously, I will try and move this along at a reasonable pace, so as to make it realistic.

In fourth year, the Triwizard, I will have Harry move further away from his friends, and closer to Daphne. Their friendship will be platonic during this year, as it will mainly focus on Harry practising magic to compete better in the Tournament. (If anyone can give me input on spells/ideas of how he will learn, this would be appreciated).

By the time Voldemort returns, I will have Harry begin to lose his relationship with Dumbledore by refusing to back up the story of Voldemort's return, both to keep attention away from him and to allow the Order to work more secretly.

I'm going to use fifth year as a way to again build up Harry's skills, and start a H/D pairing. He will also start a friendship with Tracy Davis and Ginny Weasley (don't click the back button yet). The reason for not ignoring Ginny Weasley entirely is that I want to use the Chamber as an excuse to make her extremely dark and quite insane, almost like the Bella of their generation.

From sixth year on, it will be about the war against Voldemort, with Harry working alongside Dumbledore instead of being his lapdog.

So, what do you guy's think?

 

Sounds like about 90% of the other independent harry stories out there, just starts earlier in canon, and with a not shitty pairing. Even if Ginny is insane she still should never have any dialog unless it's her death wails. It'd probably be a good idea to give reasons why he's seperated from Ron and Hermione, and not the stereotypical, stealing, spying, etc. Do something new.

It sounds alright. I'm not going to be hanging on updates, but I'll probably check out new chapters eventually. Try it out, see how it's received and go from there.

Veritas (Occasionally known as M3n7h01)

 

I wasn't thinking of having them stealing/spying or the other dumb shit like that, just simply having them move apart, since as Harry changes, he won't be the same type of friend that they want, I wasn't thinking of any major argument like fics usually have.

And as for the Ginny thing, I've already planned for her death, but figured that Harry could use her to get whatever knowledge she retained from Riddle - how best to learn the Dark Arts than by having the knowledge of the man who began to master them as a teen?

Do you have any ideas as to how I can add more originality to the story? I don't want to have to use repeated cliche's.

 

Your idea sounds very ambitious and potentially epic. I'd certainly give it a read.

Managing the transition from canon into new ground would probably be the delicate bit, as it would set the stage for the later years.

I could see a lot of ways the third year could play out differently than in canon. (Harry doesn't have to be so forgiving about the broom; Ron's obsessing over his rat and Sirius could turn Harry off; Lupin could share with Harry his own doubts over Sirius Black's guilt; Daphne could have her own interesting back story that would mesh with Harry's in a creative way).

I say go for it, though I suspect it'll require a multi-volume work to tell the story right. And contrary to a prior poster, I don't see that it'd be necessarily susceptible to clichés. (Your being cognizant of them assuages my worries there).

 

As I see it, this would be a character driven story.
That means that you definitely should put a lot of work in the characterizations without making them boring. Start by telling us how you want them to be. How do you see your Harry and how will he change while he grows up?
How do you want to write Daphne? What is her backstory? How does Harry get to know her? How would you describe the (future) relationship between those two?
How do you intend to break off the trio? A gradually growing apart relationship is fucking hard to write, so be prepared to change the key scenes after you have some skilled betas read them.

But it can't be just the characters or it would be a soap opera, so start by making a rough outline of the major events you're planning to write. Post it here and we'll help you and tell you what we think.

Also, I'm sure you're aware of the danger of retelling canon. Especially in a fic that is based on a change of relationships instead of events.

 

I've become very disillusioned with ginny. I was originally only a reader of H/G. Dead serious. My first favorite author was "MelindaLeo". In all fairness she was also the first fanfiction writer I read, but you get the point. After reading hundreds of H/G fics, i began to realize that she was the same in every fucking one. She somehow becomes fucking beautiful between 5th and 6th year, and she becomes the new brains of the group since Hermione is dating Ron. I can't bring myself to read H/G anymore, which sadly means i'm missing out on the few good H/G's out there, and I can barely, barely stand having her in a fic at all. It really bothers me when she becomes a a super!witch fighting alongside Harry.

(End) _Rant

Back to the point. I'd prefer not reading about Ginny more than necessary, and I'd be ecstatic if she dies, preferably in some gruesome manner, but as long as she's not paired with a main character, I don't really care all that much. Ginny is a filler character up until canon 6th year. Leave it that way, please.

Veritas (Hoping to get my name changed to that at least. Please?)

 

I see nothing original in this bunny. No hook, nothing that catches my eye, that intrigues me or makes me want to read it.

Taking a cliche and putting a tiny little ironic twist on it does not make an original idea. This sounds like every other indy!Harry fic.

That said, if you are a gifted enough writer, you can easily take this idea and make it into a good, entertaining fic. But the plot bunny sounds like the mass-produced idea just about everyone on this forum once had after they read a shitty indy!Harry fic that took a turn they disliked.

And for a first attempt at fanfic this sounds like you're biting off way more than you can handle. (Think Rosswrock four years ago... You could write this into something extremely popular and end up 400,000 words into it, still barely scratching the surface of your overlarge epic plot.)

I'm not saying you need to put this bunny down for its dirt nap. (I myself came up with yet another indy!Harry plot but I'd outlined thirty chapters and had several pages of notes before I realized I'd never have enough desire to write the fic with any sort of depth.) I'm just telling you what I see this bunny as. If you think you can write it, make it work, and have the drive to actually finish it, go for it.

But if you want my advice, I'd say try something smaller and simpler first. (Maybe keep most of this plan in mind, and just try to write about one new idea for a Triwizard Tournament task featuring this better more indy!Harry and his friend Daphne, or some other scene in this plan that you've already visualized and mapped out in your head.) See if you can't come up with something more original than slight alterations and minor improvements on the hundreds of other indy!Harry fics out there.

 

Why in the world does he begin to form a friendship with Daphne? You want to make it believable, make it that she suddenly sprouts boobies and Harry, deciding once is his spineless-cannon life, uses his fame to help his bulging puberty. Seriously, it's sad that the book was meant for children, otherwise I'ma sure Rowling would have have him cutting a large swathe through the female and house-elf popoulations of the school.

 

When you come up with a plot bunny, don't cater to DLP, or any other institution. If you remove contrivances such as Harry/Daphne - which, at least I felt, was transparent and only there because you sensed that's what the populace here want - then I can't find a scrap of originality.

Authors have tried to make Hermione and Ginny more appealing through making them Bellatrixes, and it's never worked. Like that "When Lionesses Fight".

Why would Ginny need to be insane? It'd just make her more useless because she wouldn't be able to learn spells, and get her institutionalized. I think Bellatrix got off lucky because she learned the Dark Arts before she plunged into the deep end.

 

Harry/Daphne is a ship with a lot of potential, they just have fucking terrible reasons for getting together. As the guy a post or two above said, the only reason is his raving hormones.

Veritas

 

If you really map this one out and take your time deciding what sort of character growth you want to make in your fic, this could be a really fun read. You'd have to make the 'no-hard-feelings-but-we're-growing-apart' situation with Ron and Hermione very realistic...as well as the reasons for Harry suddenly making friends with a Slytherin. He might not have shown that tendency in canon, but that doesn't make it unbelievable.

I'd leave Lupin's doubts about Sirius out of it, unless this is going to be a really important part of your plot at some point. I just can't see that working out if it isn't a key part of conflict for your story.

Also, like nonjon pointed out, longer stories are abandoned pretty often. So it'd really be a shame to see you start this and then abandon it. Make sure you know where you want to go and how to get there. You may not want to share all the details with us, but make sure you know them yourself.

And good luck, really. Relatively well-written HP fanfiction is getting rarer and rarer these days, so I'd very much enjoy reading yours, if you get it written.

 

You also have no girders, no frames to define the character in... so Daphne would also, essentially, be a OC. At which point most fanfic authors would falter.

 

Contrivances??!!

Dear Sir, Read my sig and repent your words.

I see your thought out argument against pandering to the masses and I raise you a see through knicker with blue rose buds.

How do you like them apples?

 

Meh, apples blow.

Gimme cherries

Story idea does have promise, I do admit.

*Sighs and gets bodyslammed by a few thousand bunnies on crack*

Damn bunnies!

Amusingly enough, it could work. But I do demand you crucify, eviscerate and Inferi-ise Ginny!

 

I am so reading Song of the Trees.

 

I wonder why people prefer Daphne over Tracey, her sister married Draco Malfoy for gods sake! Why would you wish the possibility of being Malfoy's brother-in-law on anyone?