Title: Negligentia
Author: Murkatroyd
Rating: T
Genre: Family (ff.net)
Status: Series of Oneshots, WIP
Library Category: The Alternates
Pairings: Harry/Daphne
Summary:
Negligentia - AU. Six years after leaving Hogwarts, Harry Potter shares dinner with someone from his past and remembers some of the more important moments of his life. My take on the "brother of the boy who lived" story.
Sequel - Negligentia: Absque - AU. After his failed dinner meeting with Sirius Black, Harry is more torn than ever as to whether to invite his family to his upcoming wedding. As he discusses the matter with Daphne and the Lupins, he considers what family truly is to him. Read Negligentia first.
Link: Negligentia - FanFiction.Net
Negligentia: Absque - FanFiction.Net

Negligentia was originally discussed in the Almost Recced thread, and the main criticism seemed to be that the story ended rather abruptly, with no real climax and a feeling of incompleteness. Since this has been turned into a series of oneshots with, from the author's profile, more to come, I thought that it'd be a good addition to the library.

Then again, this is the first story I've ever recced for this forum, so I'm still adjusting to the tastes of the people here.

Personally, I found it to be a rather unique twist on the whole "Brother of the Boy-Who-Lived" trope. Two things that really stand out for me are the fact that the story goes beyond the war with Voldemort to show Harry's life after his brother wins, which brother of BWL stories don't usually do, and the fact that Harry's break with his family is one of the more natural ones I've read.

Also, for once, Harry works hard in order to come into his own and become an independent adult, instead of some deus ex machina plot device turning him into a god.

I suppose the only real problems for me with this fic is that the whole "we literally ignore you even though you're our son" trope by Lily and James is still rather unbelievable, especially since Harry describes them as not negligent, but they just simply forget he's there. That, to me, seemed a little unrealistic.

All in all, I'd give it a 4/5.

 

Eh. I don't like this. It's technically okay. Nothing outstanding or even particularly impressive, but decent.

The story itself is ... bad? I mean, it tries not to be, but it's just a collection of terrible trope after terrible trope. The fic gives the impression that it tried to do something different with them, that it was meaning to come off in a different way, but it didn't. It just re-created the terrible tropes without subverting them or adding any sort of spin to them.

There's nothing good about this, but it feels like there should be. Like there was supposed to be.

Regardless of what this was originally supposed to be, it failed. I can't rate it higher than 2/5.

 

I like it. I think the story tries to use those tropes in a more nuanced manner and it works well as a slice-of-life fic. It's safe, it's readable, but not terribly exciting.

Also to reiterate the OP, the story isn't a one-shot per se. Despite what the author calls it, the story is just a chapter of a work that may or may not follow. One shots, or "short stories", have to be episodic and self-contained: introducing a problem, showing a climax, and then a resolution. This just is.

3/5

P.S. The chapter and it's "sequel" may work nicely as an epilogue.

 

Having a terrible trope as the premise of the fic was a really big turnoff. It isn't really a story at all. Since one can't buy the premise, there feels like a real lack of purpose in it. And tbh if it weren't for the terrible trope, the writing is good. Generally, I like sibling Harry, and after hogwarts fic also interests me; but the general lack of immersion and a good conflict ruined it for me. It could have been something good, which really is a pity given how it turned out.

2/5 for the end product.

 

I mean, like the guy before you said, it's a slice-of-life fic. It isn't meant to have mind-blowing awesomeness, it's meant to describe the life of a neglected child. It's not action, there's no villain and the conflict is more emotional than physical or ideological. It's a story of family, more than anything else.

I get that you might not like the trope or the lack of action. And that's okay. I just wanted to make sure that the purpose of the oneshots came across.

 

I've read a bunch of WBWL stories of late so I didn't mind this one, I liked for once reading about a Harry that kind of just got over it and lived his own life.

By far the best part of the story for me was the take on Dumbledore, much more believable than the norm for these stories, where he's usually either Harry's savior or bashed to pieces. Not so much of a fan of the Sirius interaction though, it just makes little sense to me for him to go so overboard or neglect Harry at all really given his own upbringing.

With that said it was also rather boring, there's no upcoming conflict nor has there ever really been any, so there wasn't much of a story to tell. The final instalment in all likelihood will just maintain the same passive storyline with the Potter's regretting what happened and them all just moving on, so eh.

3/5 for being a well written time waster.

 

I'd give this a 3/5 because while there was nothing wrong with the writing it just felt sort of boring. It felt like the author was musing about family and life and tried to convey his thoughts in this fic.

 

Read both stories, and while they're mostly harmless, I found them...well, pretty boring. The plot, such as it is, doesn't work well with the slice-of-life format, in my opinion. I was actually more interested in the things that weren't shown, just mentioned in Harry's reflections. The characterizations were actually all right for this type of story, since they usually devolve into outright bashing. Most of what I enjoyed had to do with the prose, which was good. Still, the molasses-in-January pace left it too much of a drag to get through. 2/5

 

I thought the story had a strong start, but definitely dragged on far too long. I especially enjoyed Harry's relationship with Dumbledore, and especially hated the conversation with Sirius.

The writing was technically sound, which earns the fic an overall rating of 3/5.

 

I liked reading it, but that's about it. There is nothing too special about it though I did like the author's take on Dumbledore. It started of strong but then it became somewhat boring and it never managed to peek my interest again.

Grammatically, it is fine. It'd give it a 3/5

 

I also like it even if it reads more like several snippets put together. However it feels more like the last chapter or the prologue of a longer story. Even if we can easily fill the blanks of neglected!Harry's Hogwarts years, I was more interested in reading about his interactions with his family; it would have certainly helped making the negligence more believable.

A plus for Harry not forgiving Sirius or his family. I also like the fact that Harry was not the true BWL.

As for the sequel, I didn't care for it and just skimed quickly through it. I found it boring and it didn't really bring anything new to the story.

3/5 for the first oneshot and 1/5 for the second one.

 

Last time I checked, 1/5 meant terribad, and I don't think "boring" and not really bringing anything new to the story means it's terribad.
I can accept that you didn't like the second one shot, but I don't think that the writing is bad enough to warrant a 1.

 

I don't know what's up with you guys and the incredibly low ratings for this story. It's well-written and immersive for what it is - which is a nice slice-of-life snap shot into what Harry's life would be like if it weren't for Voldemort and if he had the brother-who-lived chip on his shoulder.

I really liked it. It wasn't overdone. Yeah Harry could have had more trouble in his life aside from his family. Yeah, I'd have liked his first meeting with Daphne as a snippet. But the way you fade in and out of memory, reading this story, was very organic to me. I didn't feel abrupt changes in the story and he tied it in neatly with Harry's meeting with Sirius.

I'd give this a 4-5/5. And I honestly can't believe anyone would give this a 2 or even a 1.

 

This is my first time reviewing a Fanfiction, so let's see how it goes.


Negligentia:

While this fanfiction was full of a variety of tropes, I did find it an okay read, certainly more so than I expected. I found that, in my opinion, the author addressed the main trope/genre of this story (Harry Is Neglected By His Parents In Favour For His Sibling, The Boy/Girl-Who-Lived) in a rather unique manner by neither having the neglect be brushed aside and for the Potters to become a big, happy family, as I have read in the past, nor having Harry become antagonistic towards his family. Instead they created a Harry that accepts what happened and moves on with his life, a path which I hadn't had the pleasure of reading for this trope/genre until this fanfiction.

The fanfiction was well written with no glaring grammatical nor spelling mistakes that would disrupt my reading, helping me to easily read through this one-shot despite my initial misgivings due to the cliched tropes being used.

In all, I found this fanfiction a rather enjoyable read however not enough of one for me to bookmark it to read again at some point in the future. I would say that this fanfiction is a 3/5.

 

I enjoyed this one a lot more than most of the other romance/family stuff on here. It was simple and not overdone. I know WBWL is an instant turn off for a lot of people, but it wasn't really overbearing and was pretty believable. I kind of wish there was more Daph/Harry interaction, but it felt pretty natural just going through a day-in-the-life of Harry Potter mixed with him recalling old memories, rather than starting at the beginning. I don't know why people hate this. The writing is solid and it is definitely one of the better post-Hogwarts fics out there. I give it a 4.5.

 

There's a sequel oneshot up for this series. It's called Negligentia: Optare. For those of you who didn't like the first two parts, it's not going to blow your minds. But the technical writing is good, I suppose, and the story isn't too much of a drag. I skimmed over parts, and it's about as good or bad as its predecessors.

That said, I honestly wished the author would tackle the parts which interest me. The first one-shot caught my interest because there was a Harry/Sirius confrontation. I didn't agree with the tropes being used there, but at least they were presented well. The second one was all right, I suppose, due to the Harry/Remus interaction. The third one is a Harry/Draco interaction and it's quite bland compared to the others. There's little character development, which, given this fic has no plot to speak of, is bad. I'd have hoped to see Harry run into the other Potters by now, but I guess we'll have to wait another eternity for that bit to be written.

3.5/5 for the first part, 3/5 for the second, 2.5/5 for the third.

 

I actually went and looked at the story. Oddly enough I'm actually getting Ads in between paragraphs on the stories from that author.

 

Not just that author, I'm pretty sure it's just an ffn thing since I've gotten it elsewhere.