Shadows of the Dark Lord

I haven't seen this posted here (but then again, I haven't looked very hard either). I've only read the first 5 1/2 chapters, but what's there is well-written and somewhat intriguing. Essentially, Harry finds 11 year old Tom Riddle and sends him to Hogwarts the same year that Lily (edit: talking about his daughter, not his mom)goes.

What's interesting is the reaction of the wizarding world to the news that Tom is alive, his treatment by everyone including Harry's children, and the similarities between Voldemort and Tom. I think the author is setting up a Lily/Tom relationship, though I haven't gone that far yet.

I'd say it's a 4/5 with potential to be more, depending on how the mystery of Tom's origins is handled. It's unclear how Tom came to be, though Harry basically thinks he's a magical experiment done by Voldemort rather than his son or something. The story is complete at 104K and 37 chapters.

 

Weird - out of nowhere I get a notion to see if my story had been mentioned on DLP (I made an account a year or so ago to flog it but never got around to posting) and the first thing I see is this. Small world.

Hope you enjoy it if you keep reading - it gets a bit self-absorbed/full of itself at some points, but overall I'm quite happy with it.

 

I actually liked this quite a bit. Other then Harry

Spoiler

leaving Tom to be raised in an orphanage

I think the characterization is spot on and the idea is interesting enough to make me finish it all in one sitting. 4/5 from me, all things considered.

 

Yeah - you lost me in Chapter 2, when I found out that Hermione is the Head of the Department of Law Enforcement.

I can't be bothered putting in the effort with something I consider absurd - not to mention cliche. "Hermione must be a central figure in the wizarding world, because she was the smartest witch of her age". *eyeroll*.

Since it's not in the "For Review" section, I can't be bothered to soldier on. My tolerance may have gotten too low for suspending disbelief based on other stories I've been reading, but the previous spoiler didn't help the case to continue on with this particular effort either. It seems a glaringly stupid premise. Sorry.

 

I thought it was 'word of god' that Hermione was in some minor office (animal welfare?) for a few years before moving to Magical Law Enforcement. In fact, I've just checked, and that's correct.

I did take a lot of liberties to avoid having to introduce excessive OC's - Kingsley still being MfM and McGonagall still being Headmistress (though I did handwave the latter by saying she was holding off her retirement because of Tom) - but I don't think that's one of them.

Feel free to criticise the story all you want, I won't complain - I'm well aware it's overwritten, underplanned and not particularly great (relative to stuff that's actually good, I mean, not 99% of the other crappy FF out there) - but please don't make stuff up.

 

Even if it is word of god, which I can't be bothered to check right now, it doesn't make it any less absurd or annoying when Rowling does it.

 

@ hid6qoh : Harry's characterization is bad. I mean, he is Harry Potter. He should have some sort of presence. Instead, Harry has a distinct lack of confidence and stammers like an errant schoolboy. Harry did not stammer anywhere near as much in canon- he stood up to the minister in HBP, yet the Daily Prophet editor walks all over him in this story. You seem to forget that Harry is more than forty years old and the Head Auror to boot. He has remained in the public eye for years now as the Vanquisher of Voldemort. Yet he reads as if he were a Third Year.

The rest of the story seems decent, though I have my doubts about Tom's relationship with Lily. I will probably review it later after I finish the whole story.

 

When Rowling does what?

For what it's worth, my opinion on Hermione didn't have any bearing on how I set things up in the story; I was just trying to stick as close to canon (i.e. anything Rowling says) as possible.

And it definitely is, by the way.

 

I tend to ignore anything Rowling says these days but there is plenty of basis in canon for Hermione one day being head of the DMLE; you have a former female head in Madame Bones for precedent, and then we know Hermione is organized, intelligent, hard-working and (mostly) plays by the rules. It's not as if 20 years in the Ministry wouldn't get someone like Hermione to a high ranking position. I could imagine her as DMLE Head and Harry as Head Auror very easily. The Ministry has always been "promote from within" and, if Kingsley is still MoM, its a near certainty that he'd put those two Gryffindors in positions of power.

Is it very original? Not really. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, however. It certainly doesn't detract from the story in any way that I can tell. (Of course, I haven't finished it yet, so I could be wrong)

 

Given that everything I said is my personal opinion - something I made very clear - I'm not really in the mood for your condescension.

Unless you actually believe I'm making up how stupid I think some of your premises are... in which case I can only assure you: 'believe me, I'm not'.

Yes - you're right. With her social skills, I can clearly see Hermione becoming quite competent at politics. She always was a 'people person'. /sarcasm

Given her personality, I can't imagine anyone wanting to work for her. Every 'know it all' I have ever seen gets cut out at mid-management levels, because no one can stand dealing with them, or no one is willing to work for them. They get undermined by their direct reports, and slowly frozen out by their managers. People like that get slotted into specialist roles (if they don't get fired first), where they can take advantage of their skills and knowledge while minimizing opportunities for interaction. I know Pottermore claims she made it to Deputy Head of the DMLE; completely not believable to me.

 

I think you're discounting the maturing Hermione did from the time she was 11 years old.

 

Yeah, by OotP Hermione was far more socially intelligent than Harry and Ron. She's explaining emotional issues to them like Cho and has the social circle to pretty much single-handedly create the DA.

 

And then HBP...

 

HBP Hermione put Twilight in Stephanie Meyer's mind.

 

It's canon, though. How can it be 'stupid' and 'cliche' to follow what Rowling says?

 

We're fans, at the end of the day canon is nice and all but that doesn't mean fans like it. There's a general dislike of Harry/Ginny pairings and that's canon. Midichlorians are canon, Jar Jar Binks is Canon... Just because it's written by the original author does not mean people will like it.

Onto your fic, the Harry characterization is bad but overall it's a decent time waster a 3/5 from me refreshing and a good almost rec fic.

 

I think there's an argument to be made either way. Popular Fanon is having James Potter being like an "Auror Captain" or something by the time he dies. That's age 21. Training lasts 3 years, so really, he's probably barely more than a trainee by the time he bites it. But fifteen+ years is probably enough time to rise through the ranks - Kingsley becomes Minister, yet he was just a normal Auror to begin with.

Anyways, I digress. Head of department means the DMLE, which Arthur Weasley is technically a part of, and they all ultimately reported to the head of the DMLE (which was Amelia Bones). That doesn't meant that the head has to be an auror. I could easily see Hermione just being a stickler for the rules, climbing up the ranks making sure every procedure is followed to the letter, uncovering scandals from unscrupulous purebloods, and becoming The Authority she had always wanked to as a child. When it comes down to it, it's a whole letter better than her suddenly being an uspeakable with access to more shit than anyone her age should be allowed to, just because she read a few books in school.

 

Pot, meet kettle. But honestly, one can ignore canon (I certainly ignore a large swath of it), but you can't really go off on the author for following it on a relatively minor point. I have my qualms with the story, and it's not really my cup of tea... but acting like the author has committed some grave sin for following canon and then defending his reasoning reeks of condescension.

 

If it wasn't for the potions book incident in the HBP I would have said Hermione could have made it in the Department of Mysteries. She's certainly studious enough for research but the potions book incident destroyed any thoughts I had of her having an open enough mind.

 

Why do you think, that she will never ever grow up and never ever go through character development like any normal human?