Yeah, he sounds like he wants to make sweet, sweet love to Snape. Well, at least it's lulzy.

 

Lucius was completely fucked over in the DH book and he had that in common with Snape. All that huge build up through the whole series and all for nothing really.

 

lolwut? Didn't he get fucking raped by his own house elf?

 

I have no idea what HP books y'all have read, but Lucius Malfoy has always been a pussy. Like Seratin pointed out, Dobby owned his shit in CoS; Arthur Weasley owned his shit, again in CoS (and even if he staged that shit it doesn't matter, because any wizard with skill could've just used a Switching spell, or made Ginny want to pick up the book via a silent Imperio - like Kingsley did on Edgecombe); Harry cast a wide-area Protego during the battle at Hogwarts in DH - yet Lucius wasn't a good enough draw to cast one to save the prophecy spheres from a bunch of kids in OotP; he bent over to let Voldemort in his home, despite being highly uncomfortable with the situation, in DH.

It's amazing how everyone assumes that wealthy people irl are spineless fags without an ounce of common sense - who can't lift anything more than their credit cards and shopping bags. Yet as soon as a wealthy villian is portrayed in fiction, it's assumed that he's an uber-genius with super strength and the ability to pole vault with his dick.