Why not? Anko owns!

You could always make Naruto learn under some OC, or use some of the less know ninja in the story as his jounin teacher, or make him an aprentice for one. If you insist in putting him in team 7 however, make sure to have him breaking Sakura's nose everytime she starts screaming her love to Sasuke, or at least have Naruto hitting her back when she starts to smack him around. Seriosly, I can't stand reading fics/mangas where he just takes her punchs without retribution. Stucking a kunai to her hand would also be welcome.

If you want to avoid making a super-naruto from the start, yet dont want to have him in the same light as the other stupid genin, you can always have him kicking their ass, but barely escaping alive from his true fights. That big guy with the sword on wave act killed the daimo right? And all his graduation class? Theres no fucking way he would get hit by a shadow suriken.

If you wish to portait Sasuke as a missing nin, try to create a good story behind his actions. I think everyone is sick of reading about a emo teenager brooding all day about his brother without doing anything about it.

This is getting long.

Well, my last suggestion is that you portail everyone as true ninja. No shouting tecniques( make them whisper it if you really need to) and for the love of god, if you want to write the jutsus name is japanese, do so. English? No problem with that. Heck, write them in Latim if you want to, but do write some description about what is supose to happen with it. It makes the battles much more enjoyable.

Edit: Naruto doesn't have to be an asshole, but it's anoying to hear a idiotic person shouting "hokage this, hokage that." Not to mention the usual bright expression on his face or the smile he always has. He had a fucked up life, He got beaten up, and his a freaking assassin. Make him act like one.

 

What's ADD?

That's very sorry to hear. I follow a good deal of Naruto stories, but this is one of the few I don't follow out of habit. Especially now, picking up a random chapter or two the quality is always very good and engaging. I'm responding quickly now, but I'l try to address your points later.

Hrm, it's not like you had Kyuubi calling him "kit" right? =P

Howdy's right. Towards the end or in the sequel you toned it down to a pleasing level, and I interpreted it as Naruto maturing, realizing he needs to get a lot stronger, or interpretable as overcompensating for how weak he feels.

I have to read over to give you my opinion of Anko, otherwise I'm going to accidentally answer right out of Geor-sama's story. ^.~

The earlier chapters are unpolished, but I think other than making them match up plotwise, you should not touch the later chapters of NTS as they're really excellent and a rewrite would merely trade some imperfections for others. If that doesn't agree with you, you should at least archive the old version as some people may prefer it.

 

Oh, I'm not deleting or altering the original NTS. If I did that or changed it, it would destroy continuity (rendering all the later chapters invalid) and I'd have to get rid of everything. What I'm doing is basically writing another story that starts at the same general beginning point, and posting it under another title.

 

My biggest issue with this story was always that I found your Naruto entirely unlikeable, not just because of his "coolness" but also because of his attitude in general.

It sounds like you are going to tweak that at least a bit, which I am all for. It's hard to get into a story when you're not a fan of the protagonist.

 

Yes, I know, I remember the big drunken argument we had over it on ADD that one night.

 

To be honest I would like to see Naruto paired with Team 7.

The one thing that kind of pushed me the wrong way was Orochimaru branding Naruto with the Cursed Seal, shifting his attention from Sasuke to Naruto. Nothing too big but still bothered me a bit...

With Team 7 you can do SO much, but the chances of failure comes at a high price also. So many stories had Team 7 be trained as the next Sannin, New Jounin Teacher, One of them killed thus starting a Elite!Naruto.

I dunno. >_<

 

Personally, I would pick out a list of what things you liked (and thus want to keep) about the fic rather than things you'd like to change. That way you get more leeway in how you work around it. For example, would you still give Naruto the cursed seal in this one since that was such a big part of NTS and NTS:TDE.

On that note, since you say you're going to change the Naruto/Kyuubi dynamic from the start, how about not giving him the CS but having him gradually form an agreement with the demon to master its power, rather than just stealing it.

On the trainer note (since I just read the comments on ADD), a special jounin is probably your best bet if you need to make him an apprentice, maybe someone like Inuzuka Tsume? I suggest it because, as I said, I liked the Naruto/Kurenai dynamic and this one gives you a link back to the rookie genin (if you want that) and it gives you some opening for comic relief with Kiba . Besides, I've never seen a fic that used Tsume as a mentor that didn't have her adopt Naruto >_>.

 

IIRC a special jounin is jounin-level in one area only? Either that area matches Naruto, or he will need help elsewhere down the line. But Tsume as instructor will be original. If not her, what about one of the Shika-Ino-Cho? I think there's an abandoned story with Chouza. Might be interesting to see Shikaku or Inoichi instead. Inoichi and his mind techniques...

Back to a rewrite, alternate version, or whatever it's going to be. I'd look forward to it, if it helps you with NTS:TDE. I like the story and its prequel as they are. Will miss the updates.

 

I liked the fact that Naruto saw Kakashi as an asshole who was concerned the most about Sasuke. In one of the chapters of the original NTS, there was a fight between Team 7 and Naruto's team with Team 10 watching/judging? I'm not sure.

But that fight and it's conclusion brought Naruto's opinion of Kakashi to the forefront, that he acted and taught like Sasuke was the star of the show and the other two were just extras.

That could be a major source of conflict in a NTS!Naruto in Team 7 with Sasuke and Sakura. Naruto is the one who brings the rest of these asshats back to reality and keeps hammering the message that it's not all about Sasuke. It's been said in many other fics that Konoha worships the ground Sasuke walks on. While this may be cliche, Sasuke is given many advantages/passes due to 'tragic circumstances'.

I would find it hilarious if LT2000 had some sort of dynamic in his reboot in terms of how Naruto and Sasuke handle themselves as shinobi. While Sasuke's skill may be Rookie of the Year and all that shit, in the real world, picture perfect taijutsi and some Grand Fireballs aren't all that special.

While Naruto fights to hurt, injure, kill, not show off, and would realistically do better. What's I'm trying to explain in this desired story dynamic is that always being praised and told he was the best has wormed it's way into Sasuke's psyche a little, and diminished him. While Naruto's single minded strength of personality and will knows no limits.

As far as other story elements, I like how Anko was protrayed in this. Keep her in the story, if not as a romantic interest, just as a person of interest.

As far as Kyuubi/Naruto relations, There were points where I wasn't a fan of how it played out in NTS. Perhaps as said before, Naruto's sense of self or will is strong enough to rely on himself, his strength, not the demon coming forth to a young Naruto in a moment of weakness.

Naruto as an independent agent would be interesting. I liked how Naruto had his sense of loyalty in NTS. It was Sarutobi he was loyal to, not really Konoha as a whole. Keep that.

But if you move back down the path of Naruto leaving the Leaf and becoming a missing nin, it would be of much interest to me to see if LT2000 could to a timeskip period where Naruto is on his own, surviving and growing against all comers, Akatsuki, Konoha, other villages. A theme that would interest me would be Naruto realizing that his future and his survival lies in himself, and his strength. Kyuubi's chakra may help, Konoha may help for a while, but in the end, it's up to him to really save himself, and rise to greater heights.

Thoughts?

 

In this story the cursed seal is utter win, and I remember when he pulls out the Kusanagi oh shit I fucking came (probably in a related thread).

Okay, now I see it. Can someone briefly explain what sort of forums ADD are?

 

I linked to them in my post. It's basically an offshoot of DLP dedicated to anime.