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Abandoned Not Bloody Likely by Nymphe14 - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by thisperson, Mar 6, 2007.

  1. Augurey

    Augurey Backtraced

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    Updated on FF.Net!
     
  2. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Well it has a nice pairing and the writings good if you ignore the Parvati parts....but maybe thats just my strange obsession coming out.
     
  3. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    I like the originality. Don't think I've ever read an Empath!Harry fic, other than this one. Not to mention the simple fact that it's kinda hot.....
     
  4. Godogma

    Godogma Guest

    I signed up for the specific purpose of commenting on this particular post - I must say that the first 4 chapters are vastly disappointing. I'm reading the version posted on AFF - Harry is both EMO and being talked down to and dictated terms to by the various adults.

    At 17 he has the right under Wizarding law to tell them to all sod off to use a britishism - why the hell is he sitting there and taking everything? I honestly don't know if I can schlog through the cavernous layers of shit to get to the better part of the fic.

    Sure he's a teenager, but at 17 in the Wizarding world he is an adult. The scene with Shacklebolt and Harry when they just arrived at Hogwarts emphasized the various points I just made quite a bit. The very idea that Shacklebolt could have him sent back to the Dursley's is laughable.

    EDIT: Actually as it is somewhat before his birthday in the portions of chapter 4 I've quoted, they could send him back to the Dursley's for all of a month, it still doesn't make sense for Harry to be so meekly accepting and swallowing of everyone's crap.

    Also, the tone and pacing in the parts of the fic I have managed to read is horrible - and none of the characters are actually speaking in the same Tone or rhythm as they do in the books.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 7, 2008
  5. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    Updated!

    Unfortunately I have to go out so I won't be reading this for another eight or so hours. I'll edit later with comments.
     
  6. Mage

    Mage Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Just read the whole story, and I liked it despite the fact that the first 1/4 of the story sucked in my opinion. The beginning felt forced and was just boring in parts. However it has picked up later on and I'm enjoying the realistic relationships, even if Padma can be a bit of a bitch at times (though Harry can too.) I look forward to the next chapters and hope that your writing continues to improve.
     
  7. craigery9700

    craigery9700 First Year DLP Supporter

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    liked, it, differnt charactor for Harry, and while a SUPER harry it was interesting still, and i found to be rather funny.

    4/5
     
  8. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Dislikes: Harry doing the I-can't-be-with-you-b/c-it-makes-you-a-target schtick.
    Likes: SO I HEARD PADMA LIKES GIRLS AS WELL? >_>

    Harry/Padma/Parvati. Do want :awesome
     
  9. Seven-Nights

    Seven-Nights Squib

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    The "Harry doing the I-can't-be-with-you-b/c-it-makes-you-a-target schtick" just killed the story for me. I hate when Harry does that regardless of how well its used. At first the story was kind of floating in the air in terms of plot. When the empathy thing was brought into play I thought, "Here is where the story begins" and then it went back to confusing and somewhat jumpy events occurring. I stuck with the story so far just because I thought the story would get somewhere. Maybe its just me, but all its done is confuse the hell out of me. It has nice ideas with the empathy and the love triangle between the Harry/Padma/Parvati but other than that it just doesn't appeal to me anymore.
     
  10. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    Yeah, the 'leaving the girl because she's in danger' storyline has worn a bit thin after reading so many. However, Padma was in danger because of Harry. That's just the way things work in his life, and Harry cares enough for that to be factor in his thinking. I prefer it to a Harry who doesn't care about the safety of the girl as it's not realistic. And it's different for Ron and Hermione, who have been involved since the start, compared to a new addition who is unaccustomed to the lifestyle.

    I don't really have any compliants with the chapter. It wasn't the best one, but it wasn't bad. All I really hope for with the future chapters is that the plot progress a little more, as this capture felt more like a reason for Harry to break up with Padma than anything else.
     
  11. Nymphe

    Nymphe Second Year DLP Supporter

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    Drat, I knew the breakup clique would cause problems, but that's what happens when you take the easy route. Anything else I came up with became so convoluted it was ridiculous. Sorry. I did foreshadow the breakup and should have made it occur before the capture as to not take away from the impact of the chapter. Lesson learned.
     
  12. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Huh, you foreshadowed it indeed? I just might have to read the story again then. Because from the top of my head, I'd claim the opposite -- Harry and Padma finally made good progress, they were getting closer, she trusted him and all that ... it came out of the blue for me.

    I didn't feel that much was wrong between them, as opposed to their awkward beginning, at least. My feel was that once the potion for the twins would be made, everything would be fine, and hence my reaction -- I saw Harry making her a target as the only reason there was for him to break up with her. If there had been other reasons, I probably wouldn't have minded it as much ...

    So you say there was more than that? But I thought he really had begun to feel something for her -- wasn't that in the chapter as well? I'm confused. Help?


    And just to make that clear, my dislike of that reason for their break-up has nothing to do with you, I already started getting twitchy when I read it in HBP, and began to hate it as thousands of H/G fangirls used it again and again to introduce needless, way-too-long-outdrawn relationship-angst into their stories.

    So could you keep Harry moping and Padma hating him to a minimum? Pretty please?


    Edit:
    Oh, er *coughs* ... and about that Harry/Padma/Parvati ... yes/no? *looks hopefully*
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2008
  13. Nymphe

    Nymphe Second Year DLP Supporter

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    The foreshadowing had a running theme: he shouldn't be dating in the first place. He brought it up at the very end of Ch. 9; told Hermione he'd end things if she got too close in Ch. 11; Padma telling him he shouldn't be dating either after he found out about her problem in Ch. 18; Hermione reminding him of what he said in Ch. 19. It wasn't about the relationship itself. Harry feels he needs to do the right thing and leave dating alone until after the war. He didn't foresee things getting as serious as they had.

    I'm cool; this is still a learning process for me. Harry is going to be way too busy to mope much, but he will be in need of another outlet for his Empathy. I am prepared for the flames that surely will follow.

    Oh, wait until Parvati's had her say. That should clear up any question in that area, I hope.
     
  14. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Ah. Well, in that case ... mind, I don't agree with Harry's assertion, if for purely selfish reasons (want moar Padma). But right now, it also seems like all the work they put into overcoming the obstacles has been for nothing, you know? And subsequently, all you wrote about it as well. I do hope this is only a break, not the final end of it.
     
  15. Dr. Strange Lulz

    Dr. Strange Lulz Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    So, has Harry started killing things yet? I commented just over a year ago on how boring this story was, has it picked up at all?
     
  16. Lincos

    Lincos Professor DLP Supporter

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    Oh he's killed a few, acted like a fag after it and the story is still boring as shit.
     
  17. thisperson

    thisperson Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Story has been deleted and Nymphe appears to have vanished. Shame.
     
  18. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    Argh. I hate when authors remove their work when they abandon their fics. I mean, if you don't want the PMs and story alerts and all that you can just switch off email alerts. What's the harm in letting people read what you've written, even if you don't intend to finish?

    This story was far from perfect, but it had some good ideas and scenes that I would've liked to reread at a later interval. Shame.
     
  19. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Now what'd you do that for, Nymphe :/

    The DLP archives have chapter 1 through 21. The last three chapters are missing, but I found them as .txt, at least. Maybe I'll try to re-format that. If someone desperately needs it, PM or google it yourself, you lazy fag. Just don't start cluttering up the thread with requests.
     
  20. thisperson

    thisperson Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Cluttering up this thread with a request.

    Anyone have a copy of this? The text file didn't work for me and my google fu failed.
     
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