Title: Not What I Wanted
Author: TheDarkAvenger
Rating: M
Genre: Dark/Angsty
DLP Category: Restricted Section
Pairing: ???
Status: Complete
Summary: Life of Harry Potter, definitely not as he wanted it. My first one, really. Harry's gone all out to fight the Darkness but doesn't really succeed much. ...well? Read it to find out.
Warnings: (Implied)Rape, violence, sex, distortional views not (completely) supported by author.
Link: Not What I Wanted



Edit by Minion, Dec. 6, 2012
Dead link is dead. If you know where to find another copy of this story, please inform the library staff.

 

Well, that was interesting. Sufficiently twisted for the tastes of many here, though a lot of it felt gratuitous. The plot driven situations were pretty interesting, referring to Ginny and Cho.

The Himalayan bit came completely out of left field, and really wasn't necessary for where you went with the story.

The rhythm and diction changed a lot and messed up the flow. There's room for improvement in the pacing of the story. Cut out the excess stuff, look at the flow and you have something pretty good.

But the most important factor is whether I enjoyed it, and that is definitely so. Pretty enjoyable for a one shot, and points for delivering the story the way you did, just have above gripes on the execution.

3.5/5

Btw, go over to the Intro section, and introduce yourself, so people can welcome you.

p.s. Saw the Bellatrix thing a mile off, but probably the best part anyway.

 

Any other thoughts/opinions/reviews?

 

The story might be good, but the Format is making my eyes water, Even skimming doesn't help.

Sorry, But I just can't read it.
Out of respect and deference to those of you who can, I won't mark it either. I would like to point out however that with 1k+ hits and only one review to the positive or negative, a great many other members probably share my sentiments.

 

I agree 100 percent with Manatheron.

 

I don't know what to think about it.
The format is a nightmare, that's for sure. Those extra enters are unnecessary and only make it much harder to read.
About the stroy, well, I've definitely read better before. The thing with "Bellatrix" was... interesting. A reason why you always should interrogate someone before the first torture session....

 

It's an alright story. I found a couple of spelling errors, and the layout is horrific.

I liked the twists that you used, especially the B/G one.

I give this story a 3/5.

 

You are not writing a poem. Change to format into something readable and I will. Until then I won't touch it. You have 3 days before I give it a 1/5 rating. Braking you lines this poorly is almost as bad as r1tin 11k3 7h15.

 

I agree completely, have tried three times to read it but just can't with this stupid layout.

 

OOPS!!


Sorry, mates, looks like I committed a serious crime... I didn't realise that the layout would tur out so hideous....


Thats why one should never mess around with frontpage.... Or maybe one should never mess around when one has no so superior skills... I promise that it shall be set right within an hour of this post....

Honest. Your opinions do matter.


Okay, I've edited it.

Just because I dont have great editing skills, and this is my first attempt at fanfiction in general... So I am NOT the greatest sjit walking the planet... Sorry, that award goes to ______. Please bear with me and enter your valuable * Esteemed * comments...

 

I didn't really like it that much. The twist wasn't all that surprising and it jst didn't hold my interst... 2.5/5

 

I'm afraid that I have to agree, I wasn't going to say anything because I'm not a big fan of most angst fics, but I just didn't much care for it. and as Raja said it was pretty easy to predict what was going to happen. 2.7/5

 

It was OK.
Nothing amazing, yet not horrible.

You might want to insert scene breaks or something to note the change in POV.

Like it was said, a bit predictable.

3/5 Bit angsty, don't get me wrong, I enjoy angst every now and then.
Just fed up of it right now...been reading too many Lily and James fics...

 

I got as far as "Bell-fucking-trix" and called the game. Just not my sort of fic.

2/5

 

I wouldn't put this fic in the Trash Bin, but it's definitely not going into my favorite's list. The angst got to me quickly, but it wasn't as bad as other stuff I've seen on this sight and other sights. I liked the twist, though it was predictable. Not a bad story for first time. Work on something longer and filled with less angst and it might be worthwhile.

3/5