Yeah... I kind of just realized that necro-ing is bad and I was doing it. I'm super sorry about that, by the way.

 

It's just as well, because I think I found another one, magic & magick, when people use the latter to sound mysterious and Old-Englishy.

Observe:

http://www.fanfiction.net/search.php?type=story&plus_keywords=magick

I remember an extreme example, when someone unsuccessfully tried to slip through the For Review section, titled Anciente Magick or something, which was just a bunch of quotes from philosophers randomly strung together.

 

Well, the way I see it, lets say you're writing a Harry Potter fanfiction. You always say 'magick' in your writing. Yeah, I get you want to sound all mysterious. But in Harry Potter it's 'magic.' You don't sound mysterious then, you sound (at leaat to me) kind of stupid.

Now lets say you're writing a fanfiction where the charcters and author of the original story always use 'magick.' Well then it's perfectly okay for you to say 'magick.'

That's my take on magic vs. magick. Sorry if it's a little confusing.

 

As long as you don't spell it "Ubik"...

 

"Ubik"? Where does that come from?

My mini-contribution; any time who includes Harry and Malfoy having a fight on the train as a way of anything but what it actually is(childish arguing) then you can tell it's going to be a cliche-ridden story. Actually, most of the time when Malfoy is in the story is cliched.

 

I laughed at the comment about Malfoy.

I am afraid that I'm guilty of using whilst. In my defence, I've had to read entirely too much Shakespeare, and J.S. Mill (Utilitarianism), both of whom are kings of pretentious prose. I remember an English teacher of mine commenting that the plot in Hamlet was actually pretty bad and hackneyed, but it was the way that it was expressed that made it amazing.

As a side note a lot of philosophy is the opposite of Shakespeare- good ideas but extraordinarily shoddy presentation. Trying to read Kant is usually an exercise in futility, unless you're willing to re-read most of the sentences a few times and diagram them.

Still, I think French literature probably reigns over the Anglophones in pretence- has anyone here ever tried to read Proust's À la recherche du temps perdu? It has a tonne of massive, tedious passages, but it somehow pulls it off. The simple past tense is only ever used in literature as well.

I found the bit about the adverb vs. noun pretty interesting- it actually sounded credible to use "whilst staring" rather use whilst as a noun. It's quite common to use it like that in the UK, if most commonly by the posher lecturers. When Americans use it it usually sounds like when they try to sound English- a failed attempt at being classy.

 

On a related note: I prefer 'leapt' to 'leaped' and having to write 'unbeknown' instead of 'unbeknownst' makes me grit my teeth.

I throw around 'whilst' every once in a while. Sometimes it just seems right.

In the HBP example, the scene with the sisters Black talking to Snape, 'whilst' makes the action sound more immediate, more like it's happening in an instant than over a more protracted period. That's just me, though.

Edit: Bah, the Harry vs Draco Hogwarts Express confrontation isn't a cliché, it's a staple. It can be used to set the tone of how Harry will handle things throughout the story.

That and it can be fun just to see how each author presents their different versions of the train confrontation.

In short: in a good fic, it can be good and in a bad fic, it will undoubtedly be bad.

 

Hmmm, i've seen this too. Usually in intentionally cliche moments, though one has to grin when you read something like.

"YE OLD FISHE AND CHIPPE SHOP" or "YEE OLDE WANDE SHOPPE"

Sounds more dutch than english , but can be 'terribly' annoying. I've seen both of these in HP fics actually. I have to wonder whether the people who write like this are largely american. Then again, our fair albion has it's own share of idiots

 

A staple is merely a cliche so overused no one bothers to come up with a suitable replacement.

Seriously, though? What isn't a cliche in fan fiction? The best fics usually string together common scenes and ideas smoothly and eloquently. If, somehow, you do come up with a truly original idea, it either sucks, or will get incorporated into dozens of new fics.

The only thing that won't be cliche is a very specific fetish.

After all, a rhinoceros Animagus is still an Animagus.

 

I personally prefer to read 'while' instead of 'whilst'
I'm not sure why, but the sentence often has a better flow when using 'while'.

And the use of 'magick' is just annoying. The use of so-called ancient English even more so, because most of the time it sounds ridiculous and makes the author sound like a retard.

 

While definitely flows off the tongue better than whilst, which is why I prefer while. For some reason, whilst is just too sharp at the end for me to use it much at all if I do use it.

I agree with you on 'magick'. It has no use and more often than not, it seems like the author is trying to impress with a 'grasp' of old English. Really, unless an author is consistently using old English dialect, diction, and structure for a purpose, it serves no function.

 

A hallmark of bad writing that never fails to bug me has to do with dialogue. It's "said". People SAY things. They don't exclaim them. They don't breath them. They don't gasp them. They say them.

 

No point in going over the same while/whilst crap again, so I'll just add my thought on this comment.

That's complete and utter bullshit, to the point where I almost didn't both to waste my time responding. Luckily for you, I decided that - yes - I was that bored.

I don't care if it makes someone seems to look like a dick because they don't use say/said in every line of dialog. You don't have to use a new description every line - with that I agree. A little variety never hurt anybody - everything in moderation after all.

And for the record, there are perfectly good reasons to add in creative/descriptive words to describe what happens.

Eg. Guy just got his ribs crushed by a falling piano.

"Get...help," the dying man said.

Or would you use...

"Get...help," the dying man gasped.

^ See? Legit reason for using different words

 

The vast, vast majority of it should be "say"/"said" or else you're just a shitty writer.

Edit: There's nothing wrong with "shouted" or "whispered" or "declared", though. Just use your own judgment, writing is something that takes practice.

 

The vast, vast majority of dialogue should never use 'he said/she said' at all. Unless it's unclear who's speaking or it's necessary to color the remark with emotion, those indicators are unnecessary and amateurish.

 

Yeah, okay. This doesn't really have any bearing on my point.

 

An old wizened man with silvery grey hair and the same color eyes sighed deeply as he walked toward a small shrine. “I’m sorry. I failed you and I failed our son.” He gazed up at the small marble statue of an angel. “The Protector of all…unable to protect his only son...some hero I turned out to be.” The man’s shoulder trembled as if holding the weight of the world on them. “I…I…” The man’s face lowered and he began to sob. “Please forgive me…”

Someone tear this paragraph to shreads?

Though I agree with the whole different writers have different styles and there's no real rule to writing. Unless its use basic grammar/spelling and make it understandable.

I tend to prefer descriptive writing personally as well as bluntness...I not a subtle person and it irritates me when someone uses alot of it in their writing.

I guess it depends on the writer and the reader in the end.

Edit: Before bitching I copied the paragraph from Word that's why the format screwed up.

 

You should use a word that fits the situation. Unless it's needed to show who is talking, you shouldn't use "said" at all since it's such a weak word and conveys no emotion whatsoever. Most of your dialogue modifiers will be different words that better convey emotion. If the speaker is clear and there's no need to show emotion then you don't need to use anything.

I disagree. People can exclaim; it's similar to shouting, which you already said was alright. Osprey already demonstrated the validity of "gasp", and "breathe" is used as a substitute for "whisper" in certain situations. You're not going to use them to punctuate all of your dialogue, but if it works with the mood of the dialogue, use it.

 

No, this is wrong. Your dialogue should convey the emotion of the character on its own. Good dialogue attribution is nearly invisible. It's primary function should be to inform the reader about who is speaking. If you're constantly using words other than "said" then its just distracting and amateurish.