Title: Obsurum Fabula
Author: Ami3vaYah3Dyn
Rating: M for Mature
Genre: Not classified by the Author but I would hazard a guess at Humor/Independent/Dark
DLP Category: Independent
Pairing: None
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Harry has a secret that he had been sitting on for years. Just what would have happened if he had faked everything? What would everyone's reactions be when he decided he just couldn't take the stupidity anymore? The magical world won't know what hit them. Set right at the beginning of OoTP. Dark!Harry, No slash, no pairings.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6778409/1/Obsurum_Fabula

Though it starts out a little weird and I was highly confused at to whether this was a Super:Harry story or not, It bottoms out a little later and actually becomes quite good in my opinion. Basically Harry has been acting the whole time while at Hogwarts and is actually a lot more intelligent than he let on. Of course no one knows this in the beginning but it starts to come out more and more as the story goes on. He's pretty much had enough with acting and is letting out his more sinister side more and more. Overall I think it's pretty good so far, if a little slow moving at that.

Edit:: I rated it 4/5 for now because it is quite good though nowhere near excellent. Needs a bit work on the characters more and hopefully doesn't just turn into a bash!fest. Keep in mind it does get better as the story goes on. Get past the first 3 chapters.

 

I don't have the time to read this at the moment, and I won't give this a review, but I will say that the summary and your description makes this sound like a very cliche independent / dark Harry story. Harry has been faking it all along, and is actually a badass who hates Ron and Hermione and knows the truth about "Dumbledork" being a manipulative yet retarded old wizard who's about to get fucked in the ass because he underestimated Harry etc etc...

I know that's quite the assumption to make on something that I haven't read the first sentence two, but everything about the summary and your own description about less then exemplary characterization,, hows hes letting out his omnipotent Slytherin side... yeah .

 

I've only read about a third of the first chapter- I'm too bored of it/tired- and already it has a extremely smart, sarcastic Harry that notices everything, but no one notices him being so Slytherin because he's so good at hiding it, etc...

It has him knowing that Figg is a Squib and he's being guarded by the Order.

His friends- so far- seem to be "spies" for Dumbledore and Hagrid was assigned to make sure the hero didn't get corrupted by those evil, evil Slytherins...

The only redeeming thing?

Actually fairly amused me, I must be tired...

Edit: Is it your story? The fact that your posting the story, with so little postal count, makes me wonder if it's yours.

 

Ahh, yes I forgot to mention it is quite hilarious at times. But like I said, In the beginning, I really couldn't tell if it was supposed to be Super!Harry or not. It's not actually, the author just does a shitty job of portraying him in the first chapter. But it really does get better and is incredibly amusing more then anything.

 

... You gotta be fucking kidding me. This story is trash. A fanon wank over dark!super!smart!evil!sarcastic!Harry.

The first chapter is nothing but canon-rehash from OotP, with some OC named Harry giving some running commentary that supposed to be funny, or something. It fails badly. The author can't even be fucked to change the news, the dialogues, the events or the letters. Oh, and some recollection of the events in the years prior, but of course Harry had been acting, and at the age of eleven naturally figured out easily that Dumbles, or Dumbly Bee, or Dumbledork, doesn't want him befriending teh evil Slytherinz and therefore makes friends with Tomato and Bookworm.

Second chapter is much the same, canon-rehash, flashbacks that are supposed to show how much Harry has been acting in the last years, and the sarcastic!Harry running commentary.

Third chapter... Harry is greeted enthusiastically by "Pykinc Plump", which is the latest nickname for Molly Weasley. :facepalm

1/5. It's a piece of utter fail and shit.

 

It isn't badly written. But in between throwing words like strikhedonia, telling the world how awesome Harry is and how stupid the Professors of Hogwarts are and calling Dudley Piggydums, I just felt the urge to stop reading.

I tried to force myself to read more. It doesn't get better.

1.5/5, rounded upwards.

 

It's an amusing time waster. There are some decent moments in the prose, just little words that come together for decent moments. It's not written all too terribly either. If this were a serious story, it would fall to 2/5, for the writing isn't that bad.

Harry's sarcastic running monologue is what keeps it adrift. It is funny at times, but I can't wait for it to diverge. The scenes for now are rehashes and they last far too long, so I'm kind of getting bored reading it.(I'm an impatient reader for new material.)

I think this is the making of a fine guilty-pleasure fic. 3/5.

EDIT: Oh, and the author's notes a particularly annoying.

 

Completely agree with you about the authors notes. But I'm almost positive the author said he/she was 15 years old. For a fifteen year old kid, the writing is pretty dam decent. The story is definitely more hilarious then anything. It does have some grammatical errors and some cannon rehash, though the author said it would start to diverge when Hogwarts comes around. You can tell the author wants to get there too because it must be frustrating for them as well to keep writing Harry the way he is.

 

It is pretty decent for someone that young, but then again you can still see it coming apart at times. His friend's reactions to his 'darker side' coming out a good indication.

I would not go so far as to say hilarious, since many of the jokes are just playing off things that had become cliched awhile ago. That could be why so many of the jokes sometimes fall flat, we've seen sarcastic Harry done too many times.

 

I expected a half-decent light read. It wasn't even that. It should be obvious after seeing this

, but I continued reading. Instead of cunning, smart, dark, super Harry, we're getting a hysterical retard.

It's not a good fic in general and it's not good for light reading either.

2/5

 

It's not even sarcastic.

Basically harry seems more of a retard than JKR's harry

1/5

 

Hmm, I guess I've just read so much fanfiction over the years, that I've gone through all the good stuff, and now I'm reading through all the average stuff just for those few good moments in the story. I really do think once you get past the first few chapters it starts getting better. Obviously it's not the best story but it's definitely not the worst. Good to read on a rainy day[like today].
I've definitely seen worse sarcastic/slytherin Harry's.

 

1/5.

This might have merited a 3/5 - or possibly more - five years ago, but now, in the face of the sheer quality of the other fics out there, it is extremely dated and pretty much useless.

Yes, there are a few redeeming moments - particularly the one pointed out by JNottle - but they are too few and too far between to save it.

And you're right, there are worse. But they all end up in 'Fanfiction's Worst Summaries' and 'WTF Fics', rather than in 'For Review'.

Oh well, no matter. One more for the wastelands of FFN.net.

 

It's not funny, not creative, not well-characterized, not interesting and not particularly well-written.

Trash bin this crap.

/thread

 

I honestly couldn't get past the disclaimer.

Any motivation to even skim the rest of the fic just evaporated.

 

If you have to fight yourself through:

One A/N
One pseudo- "funny" disclaimer
One warning
One summary
One legend telling you how to interpret six different fonts
One quote
One "author's note" from the narrator
and another freaking quote

until you come to the first sentence of prose, you should know that this has to be utter shite.

1/5

 

Is this your story Necro Wolf?

 

Well the author on FFN claims to be a 15 year old girl, while necro wolf's facebook profile identifes him as Nim Draug and male.



So if it his story he's either masquerading as a dude on FB or as a 15 year old girl on FFN.

And if he's the author he's doing a great job of imitating a 15 year old girl. That profile made me want to kill puppies. Based on his posts here which show he at least grasps grammar, normal usage of the English language and has least some level of intelligence, if he is the author then he's a bang-up troll.

So I'm gonna go with he just has terribad taste.

 

I wish that the creator of this thread, and the creator of the story could write their names with normal letters.