Well, not much in the way of progress was made today. Down two mon from beating the Elite Four will do that. That said, I started my day out getting the pass to ride the SS Anne. After beating everyone on there and helping some old man find his lost granddaughter, I arrived at port in Vermillion City. Rather than tackling the gym, of which I'm sure Nidoking could do so easily. I went exploring. I made my way to Saffron beating up any trainer I found and then on over to Celadon. While waiting for nightfall I killed time by hitting up the shops and the game corner. After finding out I could buy an Eevee I mustered up the will to play Voltorb Flip some more and bought one, to my great fortune it was a female and so I could throw my new eevee and Jon the Eevee into the daycare and start farming eggs for a new Eevee. After doing that, I decided to check the grass near Celadon, to my joy I found a Murkrow... of course Anya Crit killed it. So I thought, well maybe there will be one on the other side of Celadon... and there was. During the process of catching my new Murkrow, Anya died. Well, after bringing out my spare zubat, I taught it fly and flew back to Goldenrod.

After dumping Jon and Shezza at the Daycare, I made my way up to the Bug Catching Contest area, hoping to get first place and a stone, but I noticed that the area to the side was open, after some guy talked about the greatness of the Pokeathlon, I decided to explore it myself. After getting a new set of clothes from Whitney, I found some chick selling a Dusk Stone for 3000 points. I thought, this would take forever, took about an hour of running the Stamina event and I had me a new Dusk Stone, I promptly gave it to my Murkrow who evolved into a Honchkrow with it. I then farmed up another 3000 points in case I needed another stone.

Anyways, while walking back to Goldenrod I got a call from the Old Man at the Daycare. He said they found an egg with Jon and Shezza and weren't sure where it came from, but decided to give it to me. I got this call about every five minutes after I picked up an egg. Turns out those eggs held a baby Eevee inside. After burning many cities' capture possibilities, and releasing quite a few Eevees, the one that hatched at the Battle Tower had a perfect 31 IVs... which is about four times better than any I had before.

So after getting a Black Belt from one of the Weekday siblings, I decided to rename Vlad 2.0 to King Vlad and call it a night.

Living Dead list:
Living:
Party:
Harry the Level 7 Eevee, soon to be Harry the Jolteon, the name was requested much earlier before I decided the earlier Eevee was to be named Jon
Raven the Level 29 Honchkrow, may rename him to Boss or Lord Raven
Lutris the Level 43 Typhlosion
King Vlad the Level 46 Nidoking
Middy the Level 30 (Red) Gyarados who might get bumped off the team
MattSilver the Level 52 Lapras, may lose the Silver, you're no longer 2nd prize to Dratini
Boxed:
Wench and Kens the Rattatas
Vladbat2.0
Lungs the Tentacruel
PalinDrome the Pidgeotto
Glenaj the Gligar
Irene the Gloom
Daycare:
Jon and Sheeza the Eevees

Dead:
Old:
Mishe the useless Togepi with Hustle instead of Serene Grace
Anya the Bellsprout and you were so awesome too
Lungs the Rattata, your quick attack will be missed even if you did have 5 IVs under 10
Vladbat who died to a Marill rollout in a trainer battle on route and that was all the contribution it did, Vlad the Nidoran came along that same route and it will hopefully be as useful as Vlad the Nidoking was in my last Nuzlocke run.
Irene the Butterfree died to a crit while I was catching Midknight the Stantler
Vlad the Nidorino, you were going to be a King Vlad
Ash the Gravaller, you killed Whitney, you're job was done as far as I was concerned
Mknote the Sudowoodo who saw more battle than I had ever planned on letting him, that being any at all
Vash the Krabby, you were going to be a King too
Silent the Dratini died to an Aurora Beam from a Cloyster before she could Thunderbolt it to hell
Middy the Stantler died to a crit Ice Shard for a Lapras that I was trying to catch
Vladbat3 died to counter against Bruno's Hitmontop, was avenged by Gyarados using Dragon Dance 6 times and Waterfalling everything to death while holding Mystic Water
Vira the Gyarados dies to Karen's Gengar being a bitch and using Destiny Bond
New:
Anya the Level 26 Noctowl who died getting me a Murkrow

 

Awright, it is time to whoop dat endgame ass. Standing outside the gate to challenge the Elite Four now. I present in depth, The A-Team (sans HM slave). Also sue me, I haven't bothered to procure the better held items because screw Battle Train or whatever I've never even done it.

Musashi the Samurott @ Mystic Water

Level 54 - 177 HP, 157 ATK, 114 DEF, 130 SATK, 84 SDEF, 97 SPD

Ability: Torrent

Waterfall/Megahorn/Revenge/Aqua Jet


Can o' Whoopass the Haxorus @ Lum Berry

Level 52 - 145 HP, 170 ATK, 102 DEF, 79 SATK, 92 SDEF, 116 SPD

Ability: Rivalry

Dragon Claw/Dragon Dance/(Dig/Shadow Claw/X-Scissor/Rock Slide interchangeable via TM)


Hsien-Ko the Mienshao @ No Item

Level 52 - 131 HP, 147 ATK, 78 DEF, 107 SATK, 78 SDEF, 126 SPD

Ability: Steadfast

Jump Kick/Acrobatics/Rock Slide/U-Turn


Millicent the Darmanitan @ Expert Belt

Level 52 - 185 HP, 170 ATK, 79 DEF, 46 SATK, 73 SDEF, 127 SPD

Ability: Sheer Force

Fire Punch/Superpower/Rock Slide/Strength


Queen Lily the Lilligant @ Miracle Seed

Level 52 - 143 HP, 80 ATK, 81 DEF, 122 SATK, 102 SDEF, 107 SPD

Ability: Own Tempo

Sleep Powder/Quiver Dance/Petal Dance/HP Dragon


Awright guys let's do this Leeroy Jenkins.

---------- Post automerged at 08:05 AM ---------- Previous post was at 05:45 AM ----------

First up is Shauntal. I exchange Haxorus' Lum Berry for a more expendable Rawst and initiate.

Here. We. Go.

ROUND ONE: POKEMON TRAINER SERA VERSUS VELMA COSPLAYER SHAUNTAL

FIGHT~

Can o' WA leads against Cofagrigus. Shadow Claw takes Cofagrigus to a little over half health but sticks Haxorus with the Mummy ability. No matter, he's a homie and Shauntal's team is full of hos so Rivalry would be useless. Will o' Wisp burns Whoopass in response, but that is cleanly neutralized by his Rawst Berry. Shadow Claw part deux does a bit more damage than the first and kills Cofagrigus.

Golurk is next, and I withdraw Haxorus and send out Queen Lily. Petal Dance sends Gundam Failure to the junkyard. Next.

Shauntal sends out Chandelure, I send out Musashi the Samurott. I take my only damage of the battle courtesy of Shadow Ball, Waterfall counter extinguishes Chandelure.

Last out is Jellicent, and Queen Lily does the same thing she did to Golurk and it's over.

Back to the main corridor, head up into the next portal and ride a carpeted conveyor belt to the next battle/

ROUND TWO: POKEMON TRAINER SERA VERSUS GRIMSLEY: THE ESTEEMED COUNT FAGULA

FIGHT~

I send out Hsien-Ko the Mienshao against Grimsley's Scrafty. Jump Kick puts Scrafty into the red, much to my annoyance as I expected a one-shot. Should have burned my Rare Candies to get it up to level 56 and learn Hi Jump Kick. Sand Attack lowers Hsien-ko's accuracy (ROFL @ an Elite Four member using Sand Attack). Grimsley throws a Full Restore, and I switch tactics and try Acrobatics which ends up doing less damage but spares me from getting raped by recoil in the likely event that Jump Kick whiffs due to lowered accuracy. I miss with the second Acrobatics and eat Brick Break to take me to about half health. Acrobatics doesn't miss again and down goes Scrafty.

Liepard is next. The bizarre cat Fakes Out, but Mienshao's Steadfast prevents the flinch and Liepard goes down to Jump Kick.

Bisharp is third, and I switch in Millicent the Darmanitan. Fire Punch, dead. Yawn.

Krookodile comes out and Intimidate lowers Milly's attack. How cute. Superpower turns him into a pair of boots anyway.

Count Fagula waxes philosophical about what it means to be a true warrior. I ignore him and head to part three. Before doing so, I heal up and use a TM to replace Haxorus' Dig with X-Scissor.

ROUND THREE: POKEMON TRAINER SERA VERSUS LAZY BITCH CAITLIN

FIGHT~

Caitlin proves to be a bit more difficult than the previous two mooks as I don't have anything specifically made to beat Psychics. If I take this run all the way through the postgame and end it with Alder, I will be sure to remedy that as this battle could have screwed me with a little adverse luck.

Haxorus versus Reuniclus to start. X-Scissor puts Reuniclus' health almost into the red, Psychic hits back just as hard. Another X-Scissor puts down Reuniclus.

I switch in Darmanitan to face Sigilyph, Rock Slide settles that contest in an instant.

Here I decide to send Haxorus back out into combat against Gothitelle. I throw on a Hyper Potion. Gothitelle's Psychic takes me back down to about 60% HP as I expected judging from that Pokemon's stats. Knowing that Gothitelle can't kill me in less than three hits without crithax and I decide to whittle her down. X-Scissor, Psychic puts me into the red. I heal, then do another X-Scissor, and heal again and Gothitelle falls to the third X-Scissor.

Musharna is much the same except that I don't need to spend a turn healing and down it with a pair of X-Scissors.

Heal up and it's on to the last.

ROUND FOUR: POKEMON TRAINER SERA VERSUS MARSHAL: LESS COOL THAN MR. T

FIGHT~

Hsien-Ko opens against Throh. My plan for Marshal all along was to cheese him to death with Acrobatics. Archeops might well have been able to do this with its' higher Attack score and STAB boosting damage. Meinshao not so much. Acrobatics takes Throh into the yellow, Storm Throw does marginal damage in response. I go ahead and finish off Throh with Acrobatics number two, but realize that this strategy isn't going to work against Marshal's better Pokemon.

I move onto the plan I had made prior to getting lucky and finding a Meinfoo, and send out Queen Lily. Marshal sends out Conkeldurr. Sleep Powder puts the big lunk to sleep. Quiver Dance, Conkeldurr is still asleep. Quiver Dance, and Conkeldurr is STILL asleep. I laugh, Petal Dance one-shots Conkeldurr as he saws logs.

Out comes Marshal's own Meinshao, and to the morgue it goes as Petal Dance hit again.

Sawk is last, and here I remember that it has Sturdy. I send out my bulkiest Pokemon, Musashi the Samurott.

Sawk is faster and Stone Edge does a paltry amount of damage that surprises me. Waterfall takes Sawk near to death in response. Marshal uses a Full Restore and I try Aqua Jet to set me up for a kill in the next turn. It criticals and Sawk is near dead again. Another Full Restore. Aqua Jet does regular damage in round three and Musashi cleans up with Waterfall in round four.

And that's all gents. Down does the Elite Four.

 

So I bought a Dratini from Celadon Game Corner and named it Kens. Azira the Rattata was killed by a a combination of Roar and Pursuit. He was useless anyways since he could only use Cut. However I did encounter a problem, because as I was training outside of Fuchsia City I encountered a Weepingbell. I planned on catching it but I accidentally killed it As of now I am at a loss of what to do, I may add Oz to my team and try to catch a Fire Type at Pokemon Mansion, but I can pick up a Hitmonlee/chan. So between Hitmonlee/chan or Oz I am not sure who I should add to my team.

Current Team
Kens The Dragonair-35
Lungs The Blastoise-36
Vira The Raichu-35
Mishie The Nidoqueen-35

Hm Slaves
Santi The Spearow
Poytin The Meowth

Reserves
Jblaise The Gastly
Sree The Geodude
Vlad The Zubat
Anya The Sandshrew
MattSilver The Voltorb
Oz The Snorlax
Cheddar The Goldeen
Irene The Butterfree
Syed The Pidgey

 

Our hero returns for the final battle with N and Team Plasma.

The Elite Four defeated like the bitches they are, out hero descends via the coolest elevator ever to the champion's room. Climbs a marble staircase, and upon arrival discovers that Alder has already gotten owned. No matter. Sit down old man, the true champion has arrived. N summons a castle from somewhere, and our hero stands and surveys his new kingdom.

Cheren arrives at some point and receives a righteous brofist. His previous transgressions have all been forgiven as he has at last acknowledged our hero's awesomeness and utter superiority after one final beatdown on Route 10, evolving from Rival into First Minion. Like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, our hero surveys his new palace and takes the first step towards the throne.

Mother.

Of.

God.

Oldfags. Oldfags everywhere.

Six on one isn't even a thing. Our hero remembers the sacred precepts put forth in Super Troopers (what were those again?) as the Seven Sages (minus one) randomly drone on about Chinese war philosophy or whatnot. Each member of our hero's legendary A-Team can handle one sage apiece no problem. That's right, even the HM slave. But instead of that, the Gym Leaders of Unova show up and interrupt things. Whatever, a gentleman never toils. Our hero leaves the old men and their smelly cheese breath to his lesser minions and heads into what will soon be known as Commander Sera's Palace.

Nice architecture. Our hero heads into a room with two beautiful women, and shakes his fist in utter rage and disbelief that N actually has a couple of hot handmaidens and he doesn't. He considers backtracking to the battle outside and ordering Elesa and Skyla to follow him into combat as a counter to this blasphemy, but instead decides that he will just take these two as his own once N has been obliterated.

Ghetsis' ninjas (another possession that our hero will claim as his own, because fuck yeah ninjas) lead him to N's toddler playpen. How pathetic. Our hero sends out Millicent the Darmanitan to relieve herself all over the room and fling poo at the walls, while he himself whips out a screwdriver and punches a hole into N's basketball. Owned.

Finally, it's time to fight as our hero reaches the throne room like a boss.

N steps down raving about stuff that doesn't matter and summons Reshiram through a wall. Zekrom shows up. Our hero Master Balls him. The battle begins, legendary dragon against legendary dragon...

THE (ALMOST) FINAL BATTLE

HERO OF LEGEND AND FRESH PRINCE OF N'S CASTLE SERA

VERSUS

GREEN-HAIRED PUNK WHO STILL LIVES IN A NURSERY N

FIGHT~ FIGHT~​

...What, you all thought I was using Zekrom?

Fuck that noise, the legendary dragon I refer to is Can o' Whoopass the Haxorus.

Reshiram opens up with Fusion Flare, which does negligible damage. Our hero and Can o' Whoopass both taunt Reshiram in stereo by doing the Dragon Dance. Haxorus owns the piece of shit with his claws. Down with Reshiram, one hit KO.

N sends out a god damned ice cream cone. Millicent the Darmanitan, her simian anus still leaking with poo from N's bedroom, comes out. Our hero spends the opening turn feeding Can o' Whoopass a Hyper Potion because he can (and because I legit didn't remember whether I get healed before fighting Ghetsis). Vanilluxe decides to make it hail. Millicent throws out a righteous poo-covered fist of fire. Dead.

Our hero sticks out his tongue until it gets cut open by a shard of hail as N sends out Carracosta. Out comes Queen Lily, who despite her name will not be our hero's queen. He's totally not into that bestiality thing and even if he were he would at least do it with a Gardevoir. Or Bianca.

Sleep Powder misses and Carracosta uses Stone Edge so that N at least gets to lose knowing that he landed one blow. Sleep Powder hits the second time, and our hero heals the damage. Meanwhile, the hail has reduced Carracosta's HP to less than maximum, thereby negating Sturdy. Petal Dance settles that noise. The hail also stops.

Next is Klinklang. Millicent comes back out again. Fire Punch...is not Super Effective. Oh hey. It's actually Zoroark. Oh hey, Milly's Fire Punch one-shots it anyway. Ha ha ha so much for that bit of deception, son.

Archeops is N's next choice. Oh man, our hero has a vision of a time long ago when a likewise awesome hero of legend got swept by this mofo. But not today, not ever again. Why, you ask? Because our hero remembers. Remembers what that mother raping piece of shit Fisherman did to his own prehistoric bird so long ago on Route 4 and has adopted the man's heretical strategies as his own. Musashi the Samurott comes out to battle. Aqua Jet puts Archeops in the red and activates Defeatist. Stone Edge criticals and almost kills Musashi anyway. N uses a Full Restore and our hero matches with a Hyper Potion. Aqua Jet criticals the second time and the Fisherman's deed is repeated. Hah.

The real Klinklang comes out and anticlimactically falls to Millicent's Fire Punch.

And that's it. There can only be one. Sit down N, the true king has arrived.

N falls to his knees and confesses our king's superiority, making him Second Minion (perhaps First Minion since he is somewhat more useful than Cheren). Speaking of, he and Alder come in. Our king orders Cheren to robe him as Alder debates with N about the respective philosophies towards Pokemon like either of them have an opinion that matters.

Bitches, our king is The King and only his opinion matters now.

Oh look, it's Matlock Fag.

Ghetsis berates N for being a loser (he is), but our king will have none of this shit. Only the king is allowed to abuse the king's servants. N does something of worth and apparently heals our king's Pokemon. So he didn't need to use that Hyper Potion after all. Ho hum.

FINAL BATTLE

GOD-KING OF UNOVA SERA

VERSUS

MATLOCK AFICIONADO AND CHILD MOLESTER, OLD FAG GHETSIS

FIGHT~​

Drums start to beat and a chant of 'GHEEEEEET-SIS' echoes through our king's throne room. The God-King of Unova glares around, looking to see who would dare perform such an act of audacity in his royal presence but sees no-one. He then spies what looks to be an iPod underneath Ghetsis' robes.

Oldfag Ghetsis sends out the aptly-named Cofagrigus to take on Can o' Whoopass. Our king puts on a Burger King crown and Haxorus opens with a Dragon Dance. Toxic is removed by a Lum Berry. Another Dragon Dance, Toxic hits this time.

Another Dragon Dance. Ghetsis uses...Protect.

Ha ha ha oh wow. Ghetsis does nothing but use Toxic and spam Protect as the rape train continues to pick up steam with each Dragon Dance. Finally, enough is enough. Our king benevolently gives his Haxorus, who we will refer to as Rape Train for the remainder of this already decided battle, a Full Restore. Cofagrigus uses a failed Protect.

Our king looks to Cheren and nods. The First Minion reaches into his pack (which, like our king's, can somehow hold a full-sized bicycle) and brings out a huge old-style boombox to counter Ghetsis' shitty theme.

Cheren, Turn My James Brown Music On.

The Godfather of Soul blasts through the throne room as Rape Train unleashes with a Shadow Claw powered by five Dragon Dances. Our king is certain that one hit of Pin Missile would have been sufficient at this point, but fuck yeah overkill. Mummy, yawn. Cofagrigus, gone.

Hydreigon is next. Dragon Claw, gone.

Bouffalant is next. Dragon Claw, gone.

Bisharp is next. Dra...X-Scissor, gone.

Seismitoad is next. Dragon Claw, gone.

Eelektross is last. Dragon Claw, gone.

This battle over in embarrassing fashion, our king condemns Ghetsis to the worst of fates. As his first decree as God-King of Unova, he declares that Matlock reruns are forever banned from television. Ghetsis will be placed in a special prison, allowed to watch nothing but Jersey Shore until the end of his life.

Oh, and no more prunes.

First Minion Cheren and Alder haul a wailing Ghetsis away to his fate. Our king commands that N will travel the world with Reshiram and preach to the masses of our king's awesomeness and extreme sexual prowess. N leaves to do as commanded. Our king ventures forth to sit upon his throne, only now realizing that Reshiram wrecked it with his entrance earlier. Possum spit.

And so ends our tale. Our king spends the remainder of his days ruling Unova as God-King and making babies with N's two hotties. And Elesa. And Skyla. And Professor Juniper. And, when the mood strikes him to be more deviant, his totally MILF mother and the twin sister that didn't get picked to be hero of this story.

Oh, and that one time with Bianca's mom because her dad's a whiny pussy who deserved to be cuckolded.

The End.



...Well, that was fun.

The God-King's Privy Council

Musashi the Samurott - Level 55
Can o' Whoopass the Haxorus, aka Rape Train the Haxorus - Level 56
Queen Lily the Lilligant - Level 53
Millicent the Darmanitan - Level 54
Hsien-Ko the Mienshao - Level 53
Daisy the Coffee and Donuts Slave - Level 26

 

Day 3:

Started off on route 9, beat a few trainers easily, and walked the grass for a random battle.

Route 9: Spearow the Spearow, dead.

Damn. Guess I’ll never get a Farfetch'd. I Continued on my merry way. I really need some better pokemon to handle the rock types. I suppose I could fetch the bellsprout. I dropped my beedrill off at the daycare and took the bellsprout, and the realized that beedrill knew cut. Luckily, bellsprout could learn it as well, and flash on top of that. Lucky me.

Route 10: Daphne the Voltorb, level 16



I’m indifferent to this. I don’t know when it would be useful. But, at least it’s a spare pokemon and not a dead pokemon. Someday, and that day may never come, I may call upon it to do a service for me. I made my way into the pokemon center to heal, then made my way into the rock cave. There, I had my first wild encounter.

Rock Cave: Daphne the Geodude, level 16



Better than another zubat, I suppose. Probably won’t use it any time soon, since gym 4 is grass type I think. I made my way through the tunnels, leveling up my bellsprout. What sucks is vinewhip only has 10 pp. I guess that’s what ethers were made for. Rock tunnel went quite well, even though I had no idea how to get out. One of the trainers was pretty annoying, though. It had a pidgey that kept using whirlwind, forcing a random pokemon into battle. Used it 4 or 5 times in a row.



Levels after rock tunnel. I guess I got a bit carried away with bellsprout… I walked around town and talked to people, and bought some great balls from the mart. Then I headed up into the pokemon tower. I thrashed Vegeta using my kaoken technique, but couldn’t go farther because all the creatures don’t pop up properly. I remembered I needed to get some item to see them for what they are, so I headed back out to see where else I could go. I headed west to route 8

Route 8: Daphne the Pidgey, level 18



Finally got me a Pidgey that I’ll never use. Also, magicarp evolved off the trainer before this, lucky me. I taught it water pulse as well, since I’d probably never use it otherwise. I made my way through the underground road and to Route 7, and to the first patch of grass I saw

Route 7: Daphne the Vulpix, level 20



Decent find, I guess. With Daphne though, I probably won’t need to use this Daphne unless Daphne dies. In Celadon, I made my way to the shopping center. At this point, I have near 100k, so I figured I’d spend a bit. I bought a leaf stone and evolved Daphne into a Victreebell. I traded some drinks to the thirsty girl for some worthless tms as well, and then nabbed the coincase and headed to the game corner. I didn’t really want an eevee so I figured I’d buy one of the pokemon instead. I wasn’t sure which one I wanted.

Anyways, 30 minutes later and I only had 2000 coins, just by pure luck and button mashing. I didn’t want to sit there all day, and I didn’t feel like blowing my bankroll on one pokemon, so I decided to head into the actual rocket base for some killing.

I plowed through Rocket Corner and destroyed Giovanni, <3 Gyarados. After I got the silphscope, I went to the gym. Naturally, I put Daphne out front. Here’s my team so far.



Daphne is the lowest at 25, and Daphne is the highest at 29. I said hello to Master Roshi waiting outside Erika’s gym, then head in to rip them so new assholes. After that, we battle pokemanz. I followed my moto of “One hit, One kill”



Erika wasn’t too hard. Took more than one ember to kill her big plants, but they are pretty weak anyways. Daphne Prime ended up gaining 6 levels in there, but luckily the badge allows pokemon up to 50 to obey. Just in time.

I wasn’t sure where to go to next. I know one of Oak’s aides had something for me once I got twenty pokemon, but I can’t remember where he was. I decided to go west first, before doing the ghost stuff. There was as Snorlax blocking the road, but there was a tree to chop down. I’m not sure how smart that was. The first battle there was a doubles battle with 2 level 29 pokemon. Luckily, my starter 2 was gyarados and charmeleon and theirs were both fire, so lucky me.

I decided to not walk in the grass so I can get Snorlax instead. On the other side of the building was another building, and that person gave me HM fly. Good deal.

By this point I’m sure no one is actually reading this, so I can just say a whole bunch of jibberish and no one will notice.

Sdfgdsfg sdfgjsdjk dfdf hdsfjs jkfsd hjdfsjg sd dsfjkdsfhj dsds hjsghjsdf gjdf gkdfsg hdsfgdsf hjfd shfdjjksdf gjh iou uioosi sdoi udfsoiu sdfoiugouiw ewe w rwe rwe r dfdsisfdo is oigsfd og sfdusd fofids goi gf erw trd sf sd isdofis re o sifdogi dsfdsfij soir nnvdsfidsffn

Dfsjjfdg s sdfjkfj fsj fdsj jfjfd ks jdsfjf dsiofd sijo fsi of ifi jofijosd jfsidijo dfsijo fsd sfhhh reh re uwur iew uierw wem,rew mewr cixio vci ovioe oierwoi w e r oi io fi iosdfio fdi rejrej ifoio foji ij sni insni nsi ngg mk l kxnk nk sijui siuiu u oiwio rwjuh s hsf oufsd oo ijfdsposdf to Lavender

Up in the pokemon tower, I ran into my first wild battle with the goggles on.

Pokemon Tower: Daphne the Ghastly, level 18



Dragon Rage left the thing with like 1 health. I might level it up, I’ve always been a fan of ghost pokemon. Ok, now to the griping. This place is pissing me off. It’s all smoky I guess, and I can’t see any of the walls. So im stumbling around like an idiot trying to find the trainers, which are the only things I can see. On top of that, the ghastly’s use spite, which reduces pp of a move by 5. That’s annoying. This was probably the most frustrating 30 minutes of the day. Even worse, by the rules of this, I couldn’t capture that level 30 Marrowak either.

Ohwell, got the flute, so time to wake me some Snorlaxen. I went down Route 12 first. The trainers were easy. All low level 20’s basically, which is what I’ve been fighting since the Rock Cave. Occasionally there be a lone 25-27, but nothing to worry about at all. After a double battle against a young couple using a male and female nidoran (aw, how fucking cute) it was snorlax time.

Route 12: Daphne the Snorlax, level 30



Took forever to get him. I got him to red with three hyperfangs, then switched out for victrebell. 3 reapplications of sleep and 6 great balls later, I have snorlax #1. After that, I went to Route 16 again.

Route 16: Daphne the Snorlax, level 30

Much the same strategy, except this time it only took 1 sleep and 1 great ball. Now I got two, lucky me. I decided to switch out Daphne for one of them. I guess I’m getting to the point where Hyperfang no longer oneshots everything.

I decided to go back to lavender and go south down the wooden pier thing and kill all those trainers to get to Fuschia. I’ll probably to the cycling path afterwards, I haven’t decided yet. I got the super rod, which I’ll probably never use. What I really need to do is get a better flying pokemon. Maybe I’ll go for Zapdos once I get surf and a billion repels. I’m not sure how far away Aeordatcyl is, but I think I still got 3 more gyms before that. I guess I need surf for that too.

Eventually, the path turned into Route 13. I had to cut some a tree to find a patch of grass for a random battle

Route 13: Daphne the Venonat, level 24

I guess it’s better than getting another pidgey or bellsprout. I suppose I could evolve it too for a decent flying pokemon. After the fight, I had to fly back to lavender to heal poison, but that only took like 15 seconds there and back.

There’s a lot of fucking trainers here. I noticed that after I killed 30, there was still another 800 of them left. Daphne evolved into Charizard halfway through Route 14. It took me awhile to find grass there. After a bunch of bikers with Grimers and Koffins (lol, stereotyping) that my Kedabra took out in half a second, there was a patch behind a tree.

Route 14: Daphne the Ditto, level 23
 


I don’t know when the hell I’ll ever use the thing. Probably never. Route 15 was right after that.

Route 15: Daphne the Bellsprout, level 22

Meh. I guess it’s better than a dead Bellsprout. I beat some more trainers. I find it amusing when their Pidgey or Pidgeotto uses whirlwind and pop out my overleveled charizard. Eventually, I finished. I got taunted by Oak’s Aide’s XP share that I couldn’t get yet, and then made my way to hospital.



My pokemon so far. My box has: Snorlax – 30, bellsprout – 22, ditto – 23, raticate - 27, venonat – 24, ghastly – 18, vulpix – 20, pidgey – 18, diglett – 19, geodude – 16, zubat – 8, voltorb – 16. Day care has my bedrill.

I just used the move delete guy to remove flash. What a worthless skill. I bought a metric fuckton of ultra balls too. I thought about stopping at safari zone or doing the gym, but I decided to do cycling path next. Might as well get it out of the way.

Destroyed some bikers, then made my way to the fast part of Route 17. Found some grass too.

Route 17: Daphne the Raticate, level 27



Now I got two of them at the same level, lovely. My kadabra demolished every single trainer there, ending up at level 41 by the time I was done. I decided to fish off route 18 because I didn’t see any grass. I couldn’t get of my bike to fish though, so I continued on my way. Past the guard house was three more trainers and a small patch of grass.

Route 18: Daphne the Fearow, level 25

Sigh. Ohwell. I continued on to Fuschia to heal. And then it was on to the safari zone. I decided to work this sort of like the game corner: you pay to choose what pokemon you want. So, I ran around collecting all the items, But I couldn’t find where the secret house was. So, I decided to just get the pokemon I wanted.

Safari Zone: Daphne the Dragonair, level 32



Awwwww yeah. A few million dratinis fled from me when I tried to get them, but the one time this bad boy popped up, I managed to nab him. Took me awhile to find the secret house, but when I did, I felt like an idiot. I got surf, and then I returned the gold teeth for strength. Daphnelax is now a beast of burden. I taught gyarados surf, but then I switched him out for dragonair, and gave that surf as well.

I decided to hit up the poison gym next. Dragonair led the charge, and I tell you what, this guy takes forever to level up. Gained 2 levels off 5 trainers, despite being underleveled against every one. It’s ability to shed skin is very nice though. Paralysis and poison were no problem. When I got to Koga though, I decided I best err on the side of caution and bring out Kadabra. It one shot everthing, of course, include that surprise level 43 Wheezing. I wasn’t expecting anything to outlevel my guy, but it was no problem. Now I can surf. Duuuuude…. Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Forgot to take picture of badge, oh well.

I headed over to Saffron by giving tea to the guard. I got a psychic tm from some guy, then I headed over to the Silph Co building. It was at this point I remembered how long that place was, and vowed to do that tomorrow.



My pokemon as I call it a night. Victrebell and Fearow both need to be replaced I think.

 

Journal Entry #8

Today was better. I feel more... in control of myself. It's a good feeling to have after all the ups and downs of yesterday.

I stay at the top of that Radio Station the whole night, staring out over Goldernrod while my pokemon snooze around me. The time alone allows me to center myself. I manage to come to terms with the deaths of my team. It isn't easy, but I do it.

The next morning the director comes to see me. He gives me a feather for my troubles. I feel as if I should be angry at the paltry gift in return for my allies lives, but I can't find it in me after the soul searching I did last night.

I stay in the tower for a few hours more, watching the sun rise over the city. Finally, I take the elevator down, bury my dead, and leave.

I head out past Mahogany and immediately look for a water type pokemon to replace Pearly. I manage to snag an overpowered Poliwag that I name Blue. A quick level evolves her into a Poliwhirl, and a water stone later I have a Poliwrath on my hands. The best part of it is her ability negates Selfdestruct, an invaluable asset on my admittedly fragile team.

I enter the cave to Blackthorn and catch myself a Swinub that I name Snufflin'. He's very weak compared to the rest of the team, but I make due. I slap an Exp. Share on his head and set out to Blackthorn.

I arrive in high spirits, the prospect of finally completing this hellish run for the badges a very appeasing prospect.

I'm making my way through Clair's trainers, bulking up Snufflin' for the final battle, when a Seadra crit kills Blue with a Twister. When I leave the gym to train Snufflin' and make him suitable to take on Clair by himself, he dies to a Graveler's Selfdestruct.

The irony kills me inside.

I reenter the gym and challenge Clair with my Plan B. Through Body Slam, Paralysis, an outrageous amount of Hyper Potions, and a few sacrifices, Matilda the Miltank crushes the Dragon Gym Leader under her hoof.

When Clair refuses to acknowledge my victory I see red. I restrain myself from hurting her, barely, and travel to the Dragon's Den. I spray myself down with repels, in no mood to deal with anything but the Elder keeping me from my eighth and final badge.

The Elder asks me five questions. At the end of them he tells me I've passed a test of some sort, and the newly arrived Clair flies into a rage over the fact. The Elder stops her in her tracks by mentioning, interestingly enough, my battling companion Lance. I file away that little tidbit away for future use and accept my badge from the steaming woman.



Rising Badge - Obtained

The Elder congratulates me on my heart and bids me farewell. Before I can leave, however, Clair accosts me with a TM for Dragon Pulse, telling me that she's sorry for her callous attitude earlier. I take the TM and spit on her robes.

I go back to talk to the Elder, curious of what about Lance could possibly scare Clair enough to apologize to me. He deflects my question masterfully, and instead gifts me a Dratini that can move faster than my eyes can track.

I name him Riddle.

I leave him and Chosen One in the daycare and pick up my egg afterwards. It hatches into another Dratini with the same ridiculous speed as the first. I name him Albus.

The girl from New Bark, Lyra, won't let me travel to the Pokemon League after Elm gave me that Master Ball and told me of a Legendary pokemon I had to confront. I could easily force my way to the league, of course, but all this talk of legendaries has sparked my curiosity.

I'll check it out tomorrow.

New Arrival(s):


Riddle the Dratini

Nature: Lax
Ability: Shed Skin
Moves: Extremespeed, Dragon Rage,
Thunder Wave, Hyper Beam


Albus the Dratini

Nature: Serious
Ability: Shed Skin
Moves: Extremespeed, Leer,
Thunder Wave, Hyper Beam

 

Alright, so. 14 days left in this month. Prolly enough to squeeze in another Nuzlocke run.

Should I? And which game?

Choices be:

White (again)
Heart Gold
Platinum
Emerald
Fire Red or Leaf Green

 

You should join us in a Heart Gold Nuzlocke run. Seek to conquer both Kanto and Johto just to get a chance at fighting Red.

 

Well, Red isn't exactly that hard if you abuse the hell out of Gym Leader rematches.

...And use Choice Specs Mewtwo, NOT THAT I WOULD EVER DO SUCH A THING.

But yes, Heart Gold it is. Starting in a min.

 

Specs Mewtwo. WAI U SEW BROKEN?!

 

Because it was amusing to roll the Lance and Clair team battle with a Pokemon 20 levels below theirs (or so I recall, level difference might have been somewhat smaller).

 

This thread brings back memories. I think I'll stream another attempt when I'm back from deployment.

 

Just as an aside, I did start that Heart Gold run but progress will be slow over the next several days. My work week starts tonight and to be brutally honest I'm a bit burned out on Pokemon after just pushing myself through White at the pace that I did.

 

What's the best one to play on a Emulator?

 

I decided to kick Team Rocket out of Mahogany today and couldn’t wait to get my hands on all those experience points. However, the Pokemon in the hideout were all low-leveled, so I was barely getting any and just had my Growlithe, Lucky, burn anything in my path.

At one point, some guy sent out a Raticate and I was like, ‘Haha, look at this low-leveled freak of nature. Lucky, kill it.’ The Raticate was surprisingly fast and hit me with Pursuit first turn (doing little damage) while I threw a Flame Wheel at it, taking over half its health. Then it used Hyper Fang on me and critted. Cue Lucky going down to 18HP and flinching. I was horrified and instantly switched to Kens the Graveler, while Raticate smirked and used Pursuit.

I remember the moment like it was only an hour ago (which it was). I cried, ‘Lucky, nooooooooooo-’

Lucky survived with 1HP and safety switched out.

I sighed with relief and later, in hindsight, I realize this event was a terrible foreshadowing.

After getting the passwords, telling my rival Klael to fuck off, and beating that weird lavender-haired admin within an inch of his life, I made it to the Electrode room. Lance joined me and together, we battled another admin and a grunt. I still had Lucky in the lead, but shrugged because she was at level 29 and could hold her own. Lance had his level 40 Dragonite out so we beat the grunt easily, though the admin was being difficult. Her Arbok died to a Fire Fang, so she sent out her Murkrow. I was at half-health by this point and wasn’t really paying attention to the battle or the Murkrow’s level (27). The Murkrow used Wing Attack on my Growlithe and to my horror, killed her.

I was in shock for the rest of the battle. I got Teh the Lanturn out to rape the rest of the admin’s team while I internally shouted at Lance for not pulling his goddamn weight. I had Kens the Graveler kill all the Electrode and then wandered out into the cool evening air. For a moment, maybe two, I thought about resurrecting Lucky and pretending her death never happened, but I just couldn’t do it. I wept for my Growlithe as I put her into my RIP box, and then headed for the gym.

Pryce awaits.

Current Team:
Calz the Feraligatr, level 32,
Kens the Geodude, level 29,
Muscle the Machoke, level 33,
Teh the Lanturn, level 29,
Matt the Golbat, level 22 (Fly slave).

Rest in Peace:
Lucky the Growlithe, level 29.

 

Emerald.

/10char.

 

LET IT BEGIN.

KANG'S MOST AWESOME ADVENTURE.

 

Chuck was no worries at all - Edward just wing attacked everything in one shot, except his poliwrath, which Shaun hit with a thunderpunch instead. Just destroyed Jasmine. Matches firepunched his way through Steelix, and the magnemite were easy.

Team is currently:
Matches, Magmortar, 33.
Edward, Scizor, 32.
Shaun, Ampharos, 31.
Beast, Larvitar, 26.
Snappy, Croconow, 26.
Goggles, Noctowl, 20, fly slave.

EDIT

Pryce is down too. Matches took out all the not!Seel/Dewgongs, and Shaun handled them. Everything was OHKO'd.

Now to grind the hell out of everyone for Claire.

 

Destroyed Pryce’s gym. Teh the Lanturn killed the Seel / Dewgong, and Calz the Feraligatr raped the Piloswine.

To my displeasure, some weirdo wouldn`t let me past Mahogany and I was forced to destroy TR in Goldenrod first. Conquerered the Radio Tower, though that battle with the lavender-haired admin and his five Koffing / one Weezing was not fun.

My rival, Klael, ambushed me just before I was about to whip some TR tail down in the underground. I was forced to battle him, and I have to say, it was my toughest battle yet.

His lead Golbat was easy enough to destroy with Graveler’s Rock Blast. His next Pokemon was Sneasel and I switched to Feraligatr to Surf it to death. Just when I get it in the red, Klael switches it out and throws in Meganium. Now, since Lucky the Growlithe’s death, this was the one Pokemon I had been dreading. With three pokes weak to grass, I knew this wasn’t going to go well, especially when I saw it was at level 34.

I immediately switched out Feraligatr and went into my Machoke, ready to Vital Throw its ass into oblivion. But Meganium only troll-grinned and used Petal Dance. Cue Machoke losing over half her health, and this is when I switched Machoke in, so no counter-attack for me. I needed to ride out the Petal Dance, but the only items I had left were two Oran Berries (restoring 10 HP) and a Hyper Potion. I calculated and deduced that if I used an Oran Berry on Machoke, I could possibly live by 5HP. However, I also knew that if this failed, I was a goner. Holding my breath, I used the Oran Berry. Meganium Petal Danced for the second time and Machoke survived by 6HP.

I used my only Hyper Potion and Machoke took the third Petal Dance like a champ, still in green health, while Meganium became confused. This was my only chance and I prayed to the hax gods while readying a Vital Throw.

Meganium shook its head, but it did not hesitate, as it got off another Petal Dance. Machoke survived by 4HP and her substquent Vital Throw put Meganium in yellow health.

I said, “Fuck this shit,” and withdrew Machoke, sending out Feraligatr. It was all down to a game of sacrifices now. Who did I think was the most expendable and had the best chance of counter-attacking? Matt the Golbat was out because he was too under-leveled and I was too fond of my Machoke, Graveler, and Lanturn. So it all came down to Feraligatr. To my great surprise, he survived the Petal Dance by 7HP, but I knew that unless his Quick Claw or the confusion activated, he was dead.

Confused hax came to my rescue. Meganium couldn’t attack and Feraligatr let loose a mighty Ice Fang… that the grass-type survived by 1HP.

My face: :/

Since Meganium was at such low HP, I took the coward’s way out and sent Matt the Golbat in as a meat shield. To my relief, the Meganium hurt itself in confusion for a second time and died.

Two down, three to go, and my team was a mess.

The next Pokemon was Magnamite, and I felt comfortable letting Graveler handling it with his Earthquake. The next Pokemon was the red-health Sneasel, which Lanturn took on as he was the only choice. A Surf finished it off, but not before taking a Faint Attack and nearly hitting yellow health.

The last Pokemon was Haunter and I flashbacked to the horrid gym battle in Morty’s gym. If the Haunter had Shadow Ball, the battle was all over. I doubted Lanturn could take one, and the rest of my Pokemon couldn’t either.

Putting off the inevitable decision, I went on IRC for advice, looking for people who played HGSS, but only got questions about Hermione / Snape pornos. With a sinking heart, I knew I could only decide for myself.

I stuck with Teh the Lanturn and the Haunter used Curse first turn, destroying half its HP and then dying from Lanturn’s Spark.

My face: :/

I seriously need something for that Meganium. This can’t happen again. I need something good from Ice Path (once I get there) and it better be good…

Current Team:
Calz the Feraligatr, level 33,
Kens the Graveler, level 33,
Muscle the Machoke, level 34,
Teh the Lanturn, level 33,
Matt the Golbat, level 22 (Fly slave).

 

And because you said so you'll probably get a Delibird. I personally am counting on Mamoswine to come from there. In fact I will likely end up intentionally grabbing and evolving a Zubat early on so I can ignore Golbat in the likely event that it shows up (no repeats, I wouldn't ever do Nuzlocke without it...)