Character I'm playing this game as particularly with this. Thus the name.

-------------------------------------------------

Since I was already next to the next gym I headed towards it. Inside it was a sauna so I guessed that it was a fire type gym. I put Winona in front and made my way inside. Apparently this gym's puzzle included jumping into sand pits that teleport to each other. Sand got in places that I don't think it will ever leave.

Needless to say I wasn't happy by the time I made it to the gym leader. Her name was Flannery and I confronted her while still completely covered in sand. Winona took out all of Flannery's Pokemon. Flannery apparently liked my anger and my complete dominance during our battle. I'm assuming this because right after the battle she gave me her number and told me to call her. I'll think about it if I ever feel clean again.

After I left the gym and was given a pair of Go-Goggles by May who decided to visit me I remembered that my dad had told me to challenge his gym after I had four badges. I remembered this because with my new badge I now had four of them. However I hold a healthy respect for how strong my dad's Pokemon are so I decided to train up a bit. I decided to train by Mauville in the same spot where I caught Roses.

It was then that it happened. A rather lazy looking Illumise decided that instead of fighting against my Pokemon that it would rather spray me with some strange fluid. After my Pokemon ripped it to pieces I realized that the world was a lot more full of color than I had thought. I also wanted to eat something while swearing at sand for some reason. I made my way to the nearby desert. There I found a tasty looking plant with a crunchy outer shell that I ate. Right next to it I found a cool looking rock that I decided to take with me. Also some statue decided that it wanted to live with me. I called it Killroy.

I hopped on my bike and headed over to Rustboro to see if that rich guy I helped would give me some more food since I couldn't find anymore. It was while traveling there that I drank all of my Soda Pop. There the pudgy guy from before gave me some weird colored ball and took off. I shrugged and headed off to where the rich guy worked. When I got to the second floor some guy wearing glasses freaked out about my cool looking rock. When he said he could bring my rock to life I knew what I had to do. I gave him the rock and laid down for a nap in the corner of the room.

The guy woke me up later and showed me a hard looking bug thing. The scientist told me that it was called an Anorith. I decided to name him Bugs McGee. I ran to the Pokemon Center and put Bandit in the box and put Bugs McGee in the lead. I trained him up for a bit and taught him how to dig.

I then ran to my dad's gym. I appreciated the fact that he had tie-dyed the gym. It certainly was easy to find again. Red jumped to the front of my team and told me very clearly that he was going to fight everyone in the gym. I was just surprised that Red had learned how to talk so I left him to it. I followed Red as he proceeded to uppercut and jab his way through every Pokemon in the gym. Then we reached the room with my dad in it.

He had me pull out my badges to show him that I actually had four of them. I quickly did and he started sending out his Pokemon. I went to the wall and sat down next to it and left Red to his fight. He jumped around a juked like a champion and closed the distance with precise timing to knock out all of dad's Pokemon. Dad then walked over to me and gave me his badge. He also expressed some surprise that I trusted Red enough to fight on his own. I told him that since Red had told me that he wanted to fight that I would let him. I also told him that I liked the gym's new paint job. He looked at me funny and then had me recite some stuff back to him. I thought I did a fairly good job. However he just shook his head and asked if I had an Illumise. When I told him that I had only ever fought some next to Mauville he shook his head again and told me that I needed to work on dodging them. He then told me to sit there while he called and talked to mom.

However a minute later he wasn't back so I decided to leave. Couldn't be a Master of the Universe unless I got to moving now could I? I headed back toward Mauville where the fuzzy headed gym leader asked me to go turn something off at the power plant for him. I told him I would. Then I went and messed around on the bike path. I headed towards the Trick House to see what he had for me that was new. It turned out that he had two new puzzles for me. I'm pretty sure that Bugs destroyed most of his floor with all of the rocks pulled out of the ground and how often he dug under the floor.

I then jumped on Winona's back as she swam to New Mauville. I entered the building and a Pokeball jumped up and attacked me. Thinking quickly I caught it in a Great Ball. I then named it after what it was... a Pokeball. I made my way through the building and got quite the shock when Bugs decided that he needed to be bigger. I actually fell on a the button I was supposed to press in my shock. I made my way back to Mauville and fluffy head gave me a TM.

------------------------------

Team:
Smokey - Linoone - Level 36 (Tough Contests)(2 Ribbons)
Winona - Pelipper - Level 36
Red - Breloom - Level 37
Syaoron - Lairon - Level 36
Oz - Camerupt - Level 36
Bugs McGee - Armaldo - Level 40

Box:
Green - Skitty - Level 7 (Cute Contests)
Bass - Whismur - Level 8
Eyeslee - Dustox - Level 14 (Smart Contest?)
Spare - Electrike - Level 12 (Cool Contests)
Stalker - Grovyle - Level 25
Mishie - Spinda - Level 14
Roses - Roselia - Level 13 (Smart Contest?)
Killroy - Baltoy - Level 20
Bandit - Mightyena - Level 36
Pokeball - Voltorb - Level 22

 

Poytin you jerk how can you expect me to watch your live streams when you don't name anything after me D8

 

Only reason Mishie got one was because he was annoying me as I caught the Spinda. And Spinda is useless.

 

Is it possible to get a version which forces Nuzlocke rules?

 

http://www.poke-place.com/game/

Stand alone pokemon game that I just saw on /r/pokemon...I am intrigued.

I can't seem to download the damn thing. It always ends the download and I get a message that there is an unexpected end of archive. I can't find any mirrors. Anyone have an idea on how to get around this?

 

Woah, that looks awesome. I wonder when they'll finish.

 

I downloaded it and it works fine. No idea what your problem could be.

 

So... the people in #pokemanz and some people on the main channel in IRC already know about this but...

I'm going to be running a Pokemon Nuzlocke-a-thon. Starting 5 minutes from now I'm going to stream a Nuzlocke run of Red > Gold > Ruby > Platinum in a row with no sleep. At least until I fall into a coma.

Here it is.

 

This thread has gone to Hell, I say. But no more, since your benevolent and wise king has returned with another run. I'll now (depending on boredom) be doing White and White 2 in succession.

- Sera's Standard No Repeats (maximum of five wild encounters to come across something unique in a new area, forced skip after that.
- All fossils and eggs are to be counted as the wild capture for the area in which they are received, not where they are revived or hatched.
- If there's anything I forgot, I will make mention of it later.

It's springtime in Nuvema Town. The wild Woobats are roosting on the ground, scattering when people approach. Why the fuck are bats lurking outside during the daytime?

Anyway, it's POKEMON ADVENTURE TIME. King Sera and his two dopey-looking amigos have received a big wrapped box full of Pokemon. I can has Deoxys plz? Sadly no. With the first overall pick in the Pokemon White Nuzlocke Draft, King Sera selects Zhang Fei the Tepig.

Bianca and Cheren make their picks. The girl is jealous that I got the best Pokemon and challenges me to a battle. Zhang Fei has none of that Snivy and beats him down with his amazing Tackle prowess, wrecking the room in the process.

So like, that 500 Pokebucks, Bianca? Totally not enough to cover the damage to my room. I take additional payment in cash, check or blowjob. The poor (lucky) lass has neither cash nor check, so oral sex it is. Except, cockblocked! Cheren attacks in a jealous rage!

Zhang Fei also beats up on his Oshawott, and even gains a level! Well, the dispute is settled when hot MILF mother comes up and gives King Sera a blo...offers to clean the room. And it's off to thank Professor Juniper, who is also quite hot. Totally an improvement over the old man Professors in other regions.

Juniper hands over a Pokedex, which marks the beginning of the journey proper. The good scholar teaches us how to catch a Pokemon, though of course I already know this because I am a master and spend the entire display ogling her backside. And it's a challenge to catch the most Pokemon on Route 1, which I can't win because Nuzlocke.

Oh well. The one Pokemon I am allowed to catch is revealed to be Boozehound the Lillipup.

And with that done, it's on to Accumula Town. Another lame tutorial sequence at the local Wal-Mart.

Oh hey, it's a SPECTACLE outside. And by spectacle, I of course mean Mad-Eye Moody giving a lecture while flanked by a troop of ginger ninjas.

Ginger ninjas. Mah gawd, Kang.

Something something Pokemon liberation, and some queer-looking creature in a ball cap wants to hear the voices of my Pokemon. Fuck you, son, only the protagonist is allowed to wear a ball cap. It's Pokemon Law. But Zhang Fei does have something important to share with ye.

"LOL PURRLOIN."

A couple Embers reduce that pile of shit to a pile of charred shit. Get to stepping, Unknown Boy. Snap snap snap.

Cheren, of course in awe of my prowess in defeating a shitty Purrloin, is off to Striaton City in hopes of getting a Badge. I will have to follow, but before I can get far into Route 2, MILF comes running up to give me some Running Shoes. Awesome. You just couldn't stay away, mum.

Route 2 yields Androssi the Patrat who gets added to the roster because she is named for Androssi Zahard (and a thousand shames on any and all of you louts who don't get the reference).

A little time beating up on Youngsters and Lasses along the route, culminating in a brutal defeat and subsequent molesting of Bianca at the gates of Striaton.

The Gym Leader seems to have deserted his post, no doubt in fear of my coming. He is said to be hiding at the Pokemon School. LOL school. Well, the sorry bastard ran again, but Cheren is there and looking for vengeance upon hearing of my defiling of his would-be girlfriend a bit earlier. I do remember from some dream or vision that Cheren likes to lead with his starter and arrange my forces accordingly. Cheren receives another tender beating.

The Gym Leader (seriously, a fucking waiter?) has returned, telling me that I need to prepare to battle against a Water type. So whatever, Dreamyard ho! Some nice girl (I think it's a girl?) is kind enough to donate a green monkey to the future Grand Champion's assault team. Basil the Pansage[/url] joins the party!

Now it's in to Striaton Gym, which actually proves to be a bit challenging because I'm a lazy miscreant who doesn't want to spend an hour plus grinding on low level garbage on Route 2. Frequent trips to the Pokemon Center carry the day. And it's time to challenge the Leader!

Striaton Gym Challenge: King Sera versus Cress

Again, a tough little battle because I am somewhat underleveled. Zhang Fei is barely able to overcome Lillipup thanks to his Oran Berry. Basil has a somewhat easier time against the opposing Panpour thanks to type advantage and Cress being a tard and only attacking with Water Gun. So that's done. Trio Badge and Work Up TM acquired.

As I head back into town to celebrate my win with a Happy Meal, another hot scientist girl approaches me. Her name is Fennel and she apparently went to college with Professor Juniper. Mission acknowledged: invent time machine and go back to get in on that dorm room action.

Fennel asks for some Dream Mist. Cannot refuse a pretty lady, so it's off to the Dreamyard to do some grunt work. Bianca is also there, still in a daze from her earlier molesting. No time to bother with her though, as I hear a Munna's cry.

LOL ginger ninjas from the Hidden Ginger Village abusing a Munna. Team Plasma kinda sucks and gets rolled, and then the gingers have a hallucination about Mad-Eye threatening to turn them into hamsters. Well, a Musharna shows up and hands over dat Dream Mist. Nothing to catch here, since Basil counts as the local acquisition.

Back to Fennel, who is so thankful for the mist that she offers me...a C-Gear. Fucking tease. You will regret missing this chance, mark my words.

Bum ba dum ba dum, beatin' up on preschool kids for lunch money, such a hero am I.

Cheren wants another battle as we head into Route 3. He gets a battle and loses again. This is a pattern that will continue repeating. So the gingers stole some kid's Pokemon. And I have to be a real hero and rescue it. I demand overtime pay.

En route to catch Team Plasma, catch Marlon the Pidove who is not a Blitzle and thus sucks. Bleh.

Some Team Plasma battles ensue inside Wellspring Cave. Zhang Fei beats up on one Purrloin (LOL Purrloin) and then it's a Double Battle with Cheren against more ginger ninjas. Cheren demonstrates his mastery of the ancient shinobi art of kill stealing as his Oshawott picks off both enemy Purrloins after Zhang Fei weakens them with Flame Charge.

Team Plasma retreats, and Cheren offers to return the kid's Pokemon because he wants to show off to Bianca. Meanwhile, I trip over a rock that turns out to be Jericho the Roggenrola. Crappy non-Geodude rock thing. Also bag a Thief TM.

Uneventful trek to Nacrene City, aside from Zhang Fei evolving to Pignite after a Trainer battle.

Once in town, Cheren hands over some anti-sleep Berries, perhaps fearing that I will embarrass him again if he doesn't give me something nice. Poor kid.

Before challenging the gym, I decide to take a relaxing stroll through Pinwheel Forest. But I can't do that because of a gaggle of Team Plasma cunts blocking the road inside the woods. So instead, I stomp around outside and catch Ed Bighead the Tympole in a patch of grass near a puddle. And with that, it's time to end this episode.

Team

Zhang Fei (Pignite) - 18
Androssi (Patrat) - 16
Basil (Pansage) - 16
Jericho (Roggenrola) - 14
Ed Bighead (Tympole) - 14

Box

Boozehound (Lillipup)
Marlon (Pidove)

 

*Cue Eye of the Tiger*

Training to take on Lenora brought with it a small tragedy. Androssi the Patrat met her untimely demise at the hands of a wild Throh. I tried to run away, but the judoka was too fast to escape from and proceeded to break Androssi's little neck with Vital Throw. Guess she wasn't so badass after all, and I guess that's why I get for trying to use a fucking Patrat. So much for that perfect game I was angling for. Ah well.

Rest In Peace, Androssi the Patrat

She served another purpose in death, as Zhang Fei's lunch. Yum, roast Patrat.

The rest of the training goes without a hitch, and it's time to challenge Nacrene Gym. But as I enter, Creepy Wannabe Protagonist N wants a battle!

It's not much of a battle. Jericho the Roggenrola shoots his Pidove out of the sky with Rock Blast, Basil the Pansage whips his Tympole but good with a vine and Zhang Fei roasts his Timburr. N runs away clutching at his bleeding arse while muttering something about Reshiram.

Some historian makes me take a three hour tour (a three hour tour) of the Museum, but all I'm interested in is the gym behind it.

Jericho handles all the work in the gym, tanking so many Patrats and Lillipup with his rocky goodness. And soon enough, it's into the basement to...OMG, it's Miss Cleo.

Tell me my fortune, Miss Cleo. Oh, my future involves whippin' dat ass? Then let's get to it!

Nacrene Gym Challenge: King Sera versus Miss Cle...Lenora

Easiest battle I've ever had with this bitch, to be honest. Lead with Zhang Fei to absorb Herdier's Intimidate and then immediately switch to Jericho. Set up with Iron Defense against Herdier and then wear it down with Rock Smash. The mutt goes down without a hassle.

Watchog, normally guaranteed to kill one of my Pokemon due to Retaliate, is unable to make much of a dent on a max defense Roggenrola. It does get one successful Hypnosis off, but Jericho's Chesto Berry negates the sleep and kills the oversized rodent with its counterattack.

And that's a done deal. Badge and Retaliate TM acquired.

Time to celebrate with some Burger King!

Except not. Because Gilligan, or whatever Lenora's husband's name is, comes running downstairs screaming about Team Plasma. Lenora runs off at Dodrio Mode speed. Maybe she's related to Usain Bolt?

What, I have to help too? Fuck that, brah.

Team Ginger steals a Dragonite skull from an exhibit and escapes with smoke bombs. PLASMAAAAAA!!!

So we're outside to give chase. Cheren and Bianca come up, as does some fruitcake. Lenora runs the wrong way, the Doofus Duo guard the museum, and I have to chase down Team Plasma alongside Richard Simmons. We're sweating to the oldies as we head into Pinwheel Forest.

It turns out that Burgh is actually a lazy motherfucker, as he leaves me to do the actual work while he guards the northern exit.

Pinwheel Forest provides some good experience. Nothing to catch here though, as my Tympole from outside counts as my Pinwheel Forest capture. Beating up on Plasma Grunts and Pokemon Rangers, and I pick up a nifty Grass Knot TM. Love that move.

It doesn't take long to corner the last Plasma Grunt and recover the skull, and then some shitty old guy comes up to lecture me about walking on his lawn. Lenora and Burgh show up and chase Sage Rood back to the bingo parlor. I get a Moon Stone (useless) and pick up a Miracle Seed (better). And it's on to Castelia City.

First, however, spend a moment leveling Basil in the woods until he hits Level 22 and learns Seed Bomb.

Cross Skyarrow Bridge into the big citay. It's time to paint the town. Many treasures to be had here. Most important is a Leaf Stone, which is used at once to evolve Basil to Simisage, and the almighty Eviolite which is such a great item. Romp through Battle Company, get the Exp. Share, and I'm taking a side trip into the desert to train up Ed Bighead.

First Pokemon encountered on Route 4 is mean-looking little gator. He's a leader of these times though. Raleader the Sandile caught. Mister Gator has Moxie which is awesome, but also has a Special Attack boosting Nature which is not so awesome. Bleh. Boxed, because I want to use Ed Bighead as my Ground type anyway.

Yet another showdown with Team Plasma ensues before I can challenge Castelia Gym. This is getting almost as old as having to battle Cheren. But on the plus side, Iris!

Anyway, someone decided to built a retirement home next to Burgh's gym. There be a lot of old people in that bitch. They run again, and it's time to challenge the gym across the street.

Honey walls. Is that some kind of sexual innuendo or what?

Oh, and clowns. I hate clowns. Zhang Fei hates clowns too, as he roasts all their shitty bugs to a crisp. Doesn't take long until...

Castelia Gym Challenge: King Sera versus Richard Simmons

If my battle with Lenora was the easiest time I've ever had with her, this is also the most trouble I've ever had with Burgh. Not hard, but mega annoying.

Zhang Fei versus Whirlipede takes awhile due to Flame Charge doing not quite enough damage to kill but enough to push Burgh into using Super Potions (and the bastard used Screech in the opening round to make the rest of the fight harder too). Thankfully, Poison Point never activates and the bug does go down once Burgh exhausts his stock of healing items.

Pignite stays out against Dwebble, who is even more irritating as he uses Sand Attack in the opening round. Cue four misses in a row with Flame Charge, while Dwebble wears down Zhang Fei with Smack Down (which does much higher damage due to the previous Screech). Probably ought to have switched, but I'm stubborn and do eventually get the win.

Leavanny, Burgh's ace, just goes down in one shot to Flame Charge.

Over. Done. Badge and worthless Struggle Bug TM get.

And I've been sitting here for awhile now, and I want to do something else so we're now going into super quick time mode.

Bianca wants a battle, ruining another potential Burger King victory meal. She gets one, loses.

Cheren follows in short order on Route 4.

Desert Resort gives me Mandala the Darumaka as a wild capture. Good experience to be had here with all the Trainers. Ed Bighead evolves to Palpitoad. Pick up the Plume Fossil in Relic Castle, head back to Nacrene City and revive Extinction the Archen who will not be wasted by some Fisherman's Basculin this time around dammit.

Now it's into Nimbasa City. Ed Bighead punishes a couple of Plasma goons who are attempting to rob an old man. The ginger nits run off into the amusement park. Following them leads to N, who drags me on a very uncomfortable Ferris Wheel ride. My new Archen shows his mettle against the Team Plasma King (there is only one king, you cunt) and sweeps N's entire team with a combination of Dig, Pluck and Rock Tomb.

Before challenging Elesa, time to explore Route 16 to the east of Nimbasa. Catch Lachesis the Solosis there and drop the Exp. Share on her. Reuniclus is awesome, yo. Lostlorn Forest yields another newbie in Holli the Petilil who goes to the box. I need to take another look at her and see whether she's worth getting rid of Simisage to use. The eventual fate of both Pokemon will probably depend on whether I succeed in picking up a Joltik in Chargestone Cave, because I won't be using a Grass type at all in the event that I luck out there.

After witnessing an embarrassing moment between Bianca and her dad, and meeting the mysteriously hawt Elesa, it's time to spank that Gym Leader's behind.

Ed Bighead and Extinction rip through Nimbasa Gym. Eviolite goes onto Palpitoad.

Nimbasa Gym Challenge: King Sera versus Elesa

No problems here. Ed Bighead sets up an Aqua Ring against Elesa's first Emolga, which tries and fails to do any significant damage with Aerial Ace and Pursuit. A couple Muddy Water blasts drop the caped Pikachu.

The second Emolga dies the same way.

Zebstrika instead gets to eat Mud Shot, and dies to a critical in the first round.

And that battle reduces Elesa to a blushing, stuttering mess. She gives me a Volt Switch TM and a badge as a token of love (or something), and offers to take me somewhere. It had better be a hotel. But we'll unravel that mystery that next time.

Enjoy all the typos that are probably in this installment, because I'm not going back to proofread.

Team

Zhang Fei (Pignite) - 28
Basil (Simisage) - 28
Ed Bighead (Palpitoad) - 29
Extinction (Archen) - 28
Lachesis (Solosis) - 25

Box

Boozehound (Lillipup)
Marlon (Pidove)
Jericho (Roggenrola)
Raleader (Sandile)
Mandala (Darumaka)
Holli (Petilil)

RIP

Androssi (Patrat) - Judo exhibition gone wrong.




...And here's how this tale ends. My Archen died (against fucking BIANCA of all people...goddamned crithax again). I don't really want to continue playing without him, so I'm going to do a non-Nuzlocke White 2 game that I won't be chronicling here. Later, gents. King Sera got bored and retired after beating Driftveil Gym, and opened up a chain of fast food restaurants with Clay's backing, got rich and decided to be Burger King instead of Pokemon King. Team Plasma won, but Burger King Sera's food was so damn delicious and addictive that N and Ghetsis became fat fucks and died due to diabeetus. So I still got to be the Hero of Unova in the end.

P.S. Fuck crithax. I just can't move on from losing a Pokemon to Bianca.

P.P.S. Cheren died a virgin.

 

That's unfortunate. I really enjoy reading about your nuzlockes.

 

I might try something else and post it here. I've always been meaning to do a monotype run, so we'll see about that. It wouldn't be under Nuzlocke rules though, that would be too maddeningly impossible considering I would have to deal with type disadvantages on a routine basis.

 

I'm doing a dragon monotype Dany run in VoltWhite2. It's waay, waaaaaay more fun than you'd think it would be.

 

Not sure what mine would be. I might let the crowd decide, but it won't be Water for sure. I've eliminated Water (impossible to win against Elesa because I can't trade things in), Fire (almost no variety) and Dragon (too easy with access to both Haxorus and Hydreigon).

 

My second choice was a steel type run. It has an underrated amount of secondary type variants.

 

One could make a boss as Hell Steel team in White 2. Lucario, Magnezone, Metagross, Aggron, Ferrothorn, Bisharp/Durant. Boom.

 

You could make a diiiiiiiirty bug type team, too. Show those bug catchers who the real boss is.

Galvantula
Scizor
Yanmega
Vespiquen
Heracross
Volcarona as a lynchpin

Or poison

Venusaur
Weezing
Toxicroak
Crobat
Tentacruel
Gengar

 

I would only do that in Platinum, because Sinnoh Champion Bidoof.

 

Bidoof, Blissey, Ursaring, PorygonZ, Braviary, Girafarig

Come get some, bitches.