Because my imagination hates itself, I have to wonder. Did Kennedy ever try and hit that?

And now it's in your minds too.

 

The question is not did he try. The question is - did he succeed?

 

General rule of thumb, if you see a picture of a smiling woman from that time frame, JFK's penis is or was just out of frame within the last five minutes.

 

This. Kennedy was a cooz hound nearly unparalleled in politics before or since. Bill Clinton is a friggin' celibacy poster-boy compared to Jack Kennedy.

Also, the Queen looked like Minnie Driver back in the day.

 

Yup, when his best friend was asked about it he said

"Jack could be shameless in his sexuality, simply pull girls' dresses up and so forth. He would corner them at White House dinner parties and ask them to step into the next room away from the noise, where they could hold a 'serious discussion.'"

He also flat out admitted that he could only barely be satisfied with fucking three different women per day every day and he fucked nearly literally every single hot female actress at the time. If he were still alive when the Clinton thing happened he probably would have shit himself laughing over Clinton being too much of a bitch to get anything more than one girl and some cigars.

 

Which makes me wonder how he got away with it, or how America got so conservative in the meantime.

 

Mostly because he was an utter pimp and had balls of titanium. Other Presidents pretty much did their level best to avoid military service, not only did he happily volunteer for the Army but when they wouldn't take him he used his families political connections to force his way into the Navy where he did things like swim for four hours to safety while towing an injured crewman by the life jacket strap with his fucking teeth after his boat got blown to bits.

 

That's not surprising. What really puzzles me is how none of his staff ever betrayed him. A few terms later and no president could expect that kind of loyalty from his staff.

 

Well, he was awesome. You don't betray awesome.

 

Bro Code?

/10char

 

If his staff had betrayed him, he wouldn't have been able to fuck all those hotties.

EDIT: There's also the fact that the Mafia would've murdered anyone who tried to rat him out.

 

Plus, back in the 60's the press didn't spend nearly as much time digging into the President's personal life, and it was just kind of accepted that rich and powerful men would sleep around.

 

As I recall didn't he used to get like half of the chicks he slept with to run messages to one of the big time Bosses for him?

 

There was one in particular that everyone believes was a go between for JFK and the Mob. I dunno about the rest, but then no one would know now would they?

 

JFK. The definition of Big pimpin'.

 

Line's straight out of a Cracked article, but still funny.

Also: JFK, a documentary.