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WIP On the Way to Greatness - By Mira Mirth - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by ChuckDaTruck, Mar 31, 2009.

  1. Johnny Farrar

    Johnny Farrar High Inquisitor

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    Since this was already bumped and I see that I have forgtten to edit in the review to my earlier comment. Might as well review it now.

    I personally thought that this was a bit of a filler chapter. But this has got to be the most awesome filler that I've ever seen. Mira mirth has improved greatly since her first chapter and it can be seen very clearly. The Quidditch scene with Harry's fellow Slytherin's was beautiful. I rarely see authors touch so much depth in their writings. That single scene shows so clearly that battle lines are never clearly ear-marked and at the end of the day, those of who're at the two ends of an ideology are fighting against each other can still collaborate.

    The interaction with Blaise and Hermione really puts a political angle to story and in a way that can be easily understood and believed. Strangely enough I have rarely seen authors try to enumerate the actual ditinguishing features that led to the birth of Death Eaters and the reason why so many of them follow Voldemort. It was very thoughtful and once again gives the story great depth.

    Overall, I have to say that this has to be the best Slytherin!Harry story that I have ever read, my own contribution in the genre notwithstanding.

    5/5 for one of the best pieces of fan-fiction out there.
     
  2. Vincent

    Vincent Death Eater

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    Well, I don't really want to keep bumping threads but I really should review this.

    I found the first few years kinda dull but by the end of 4th year saw massive improvement. The author has given us a world with depth and history that makes it unique. I love how complex it is. The soul bond, blood ties, and cloak to stop Harry's death, and the root of pureblood discontent being the MoM itself were great elements. The character interactions are fantastic and Harry has enough problems that he's real. This is an independent Harry who I can respect. 5/5
     
  3. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Since this is already bumped, I'll go ahead and say how awesome I found the story when I read it a week ago.
    5/5
     
  4. iLost

    iLost Minister of Magic

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    No there has not been an update.

    Onto the review.

    The depth placed into this astounding, from the psychological to philosophical. By far its strongest trait is how she shows everyone's perspective of Harry and how it can change with the events. And how Harry is trying to navigate through their expectations.

    Brilliant, and just shows that this is how canon-Harry could have become and reacted in Slytherin, because he still possesses his noble traits.

    Far too much telling, the author uses it as a crutch for transition between scenes and it takes away from the immersion by stripping the setting to zero. I know the setting is implied most times, but there are no words to ignite the imagery. It's always Harry's inner monologue cheapening interactions and scenes.

    What is funny, though, are the witty one-liners sprinkled throughout, adding to Harry's own sarcastic tone. I've laughed countless times reading them and enjoy them a lot, even though I times it seems that is all certain characters are capable of.

    Blaise and Millicent fluctuate from being one-hit-wonders, to actually being people. Millicent really shined at the end of Year 4, but has waned since then. Blaise is funny as hell, and is good overall with his morbid humor, which has fallen recently, and passion about history. He's fared better than most, but he still seems flat sometimes.

    The twins are great throughout year 5, but were a little annoying prior. Cedric is refreshing, since most fics he's dead, but him realizing he could have died is interesting. Hermione is a single-cause character, only there to highlight muggleborns, or so that is how she is portrayed.

    Luna is nice to read and I have a soft spot for her. Padma is great, a gossiping airhead whose still fucking brilliant. I loved it! The Ravenclaws who are also in his inner circle are backgrounds pieces, I can't even remember their names.

    And finally, Susan.:facepalm

    There is nothing to her at all but generic love interest. Only there to show that Harry has interest in girls. Everyone of her lines is unoriginal and cliched, and very annoying. She's just a card-board cutout.

    I don't think romance is mira-mirth's strongest suit.

    And really, many of these issues stem from her telling us what is happening, instead of showing it. What we get are great scenes, taking the recent chapter in account, with walls of text giving us a summary. Blahblahblah, Harry and quidditch team. Blahblahblah. Harry Dumbledore. Blahblahblah. Harry Minister of Magic.

    It takes a lot away when everything I read is summarized like that, and gets a little stale while reading. If the content were not so great, I would have stopped reading a long time ago.

    But I remember the scene at the Ministry of Magic, and I was just blown away. There was little telling, and it was amazing! So I know the author can write scenes like that, I just wish she would intersperse the inner-monologue with real dialogue and scenes more, make it more digestible.

    So long tl:dr. Solid 5/5, despite my critiques, because the story was engaging, the plot original(for a rehash), the characters mostly interesting, and the writing topnotch.
     
  5. Socialist

    Socialist Professor

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    The first chapters were somewhat interesting but ultimately mediocre. In the later ones however, instances of brilliant writing appear more and more frequently. I think mira got a lot more serious as the story progressed and the some of the last chapters seem to been have worked on heavily, draining mira's energy. I think that's why she (he?) hasn't updated in so long.

    And for making me think there was an update iLost,

    FUCK YOU
     
  6. Voice of the Nephilim

    Voice of the Nephilim Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    In all fairness to Mira, she has a strict set of rules regarding the fic, and did not plan on breaking them. The number of chapters in a given year will match what year it is. Year three, three chapters, and so on.

    It's not an easy guideline to work with, and does force her to skim over things, BUT...it does increase the odds of the story actually seeing completion. Granted, it's giving her a lot of trouble as of late, but I'm sure she'll figure it out at some point.
     
  7. Carmine

    Carmine Unspeakable

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    Updated. Chapter is pure awesome so far.
     
  8. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Awesome. I re-read the chapter before this one, to refresh my memories, and was reminded of how much I loved the political background of the Voldemort-conflict in this story. One of the best explanations for his rise I have ever found. And still, it's just a facet of a story with countless other pieces just as awesome. Like Harry's character -- the end of that chapter with him exploiting the Ministry, and the Order just don't getting that, was pure joy to read.

    But now onto the new chapter.
     
  9. Anme

    Anme Professor

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    Awesome update. I had almost lost hope for this with the long wait but hell yeah.
    This really is my favourite Harry Potter fanfic, by far.
     
  10. Blazzano

    Blazzano Unspeakable

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    Harry's decision to use a Disarmer on Dumbledore seems odd and contrived - it just happened out of the blue, unless I'm missing something. Was it Mira's intent to make it seem like some sort of instinctive thing?

    It'd be pretty easy to come up with a convincing reason; for example, she could've said that Dumbledore looked as if he was going to throw spells around in his delirium, and that Harry disarmed him for his own safety.

    Otherwise, awesome fic is still awesome.
     
  11. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    Oh but this is awesome. Simply beautiful. I think I know where it's going, and it makes me want to hug Mira. Slytherin!Harry with the power of ... well. But that's an awesome combination if there ever was one.


    So much to comment on ... I really like how the first part of the chapter focused on Harry's relationship with Susan. The problems there were real and realistic, and I say this even though they are artificial. This was the one thing I'd criticise in that chapter: One throwaway line of how there are "security issues" doesn't cut it. If she can walk around and go to to parties, Harry can visit her at home. And furthermore, Mira forgot Floo Travel. Grimmauld Place is connected, her place would be too, and presto, at least a face-to-face conversation.

    And I'd have loved another Harry/Susan scene. That's mostly the reason I'm slightly miffed here :p

    So nope, that one wasn't entirely to my liking. Even though, as I said, if you accept the premise that they can't see each other for <inset reason here>, it was handled very well.


    As for the Horcrux hunt ... fuck yeah. That's the way you do awesome magic. Dumbledore is badass and so was the wards scene. And Harry now is
    the motherfucking owner of the Elder Wand -- AND he has the Cloak already, and Dumbledore might give him the Ring. Slytherin!MasterOfDeath!Harry, here we come. Oh, it's too awesome to be true.

    *cries tears of joy*
     
  12. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

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    I liked the new update, even if I couldn't remember much of what happened in the previous ones.

    The disarming of Dumbledore was a bit contrived, but I think we all realize what it means in relation to the Elder Wand. Harry was just a few paragraphs before thinking about ways to increase his power, and bam, Elder Wand in his hands. I was somewhat saddened that even with Harry's help Dumbledore still got whacked by the ring's withering curse, but I suppose it all fits into the plan.
     
  13. ParseltonguePhoenix

    ParseltonguePhoenix Unspeakable

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    The most impressive part of this chapter - IMO - wasn't about character interaction, or the strain on Harry's relationship, or any of the usual greatness we expect in this story by now.

    What really got me into it was that Mira picked That particular horcrux for Harry and DD to go after. I was always interested in that story because we were never really given one in canon.

    Mira manages to latch onto the spirit of canon Harry, improve his skill set and work ethic, and rework canon events to give this fic a refreshing sense of adventure and mystery.

    Update gets a 5/5 from me.
     
  14. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The update was absolutely amazing. It's been a long time coming, and I just hope that Mira updates slightly faster than the time it took for that chapter to come out.

    Sesc summed up pretty much all my feelings on the chapter, especially with what he wrote in the spoiler tags section. I also love just how brilliantly it fits with the exposition of Harry's wish to find a shortcut to increase his power.
     
  15. Mors

    Mors Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    My feelings have been pretty much nailed by Sesc, so I'll only add one thing - the most amazing part about this chapter, to me, was Dumbledore's closing line. Really gave a sense of... finality. I could literally feel the story beginning to move towards a momentous climax (which hopefully be a lot more chapters in coming - twelve, by my count?).

    Thins can only go more awesome from here.
     
  16. bugler

    bugler Second Year

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    This was a great chapter, and, overall, this is one of the best pieces of HP fan fiction that I have had the pleasure of reading (5/5 from me). All I can do is greedily hope to see the update rate for this story pick up.

    Speaking about the new chapter (some spoilers to follow), I actually thought that there was adequate explanation for why Harry disarmed Dumbledore--because Dumbledore was still casting some spells (which must have made it difficult to help him), and because Harry did not know what the raging magic was (it might have been Dumbledore's, for all he knew). Not, perhaps, the most elegant way for Harry to become the master of the Elder Wand, but still very much passable.

    One of the things I like most about this story is the realistic progression of Harry's skill, and the way how he is becoming more aware of magic as he studies and practices it more. In this chapter, the protective dome that he conjured up in the Gaunt house seemed to be fairly advanced, but the slow speed at which it appeared made me wonder whether it was a shield usable in duelling (one which our hero couldn't cast quickly enough, yet), or whether it was some sort of protective ward. I hope that, in the chapters that follow, we gradually start to see Harry perform such "higher-level magic" more frequently. On this same note, I am at a loss as to why Harry only got an E in transfiguration; since he got that in canon, when he wasn't particularly hard-working, one would expect this hard-working version of him to do much better.

    I wasn't overjoyed with the bits about Susan--not because I thought they were badly written (they weren't), but because they are not what I am reading this story for. Still, I guess that's unavoidable and romance has to be part of a realistic portrayal of the character.

    P.S. Since this is my first post, I would just like to say hello to all! I've been lurking around this forum for quite a while now, and I do enjoy reading the quality stories and discussions.
     
  17. The Berkeley Hunt

    The Berkeley Hunt Headmaster

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    Welcome to DLP, bugler! Your first post is about 500% better than most newbies round here, so keep up the not-idiotic posts and you'll do well here.

    And the reason for Harry's mark is that he is fundamentally different than canon-Harry in ways other than work ethic. He focuses on different things, and indeed is skilled at different things. I guess Transfiguration wasn't high on his list of priorities.
     
  18. Eidolonic

    Eidolonic Supreme Mugwump

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    I expect that the primary reason this chapter was such a long time coming, was the framework Mira has restricted herself to - she needs to have 6 chapters for this year, and likely took her time mapping things out to sustain the high quality she has been producing, throughout all six chapters. Which is no easy task.

    I loved the way Dumbledore's realization was described, regarding his wand, and what it meant, as well as his comments to Snape near the end regarding his power already not being what it once was. The sheer potential this has going forwards almost makes me giddy.
     
  19. Paradosi

    Paradosi Fourth Year

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    I've almost forgotten how awesome this story is, but the new update revived it. One of the few Slytherin!Harry who actually acts like a Slytherin, and not just some snarky bastard.

    But, really, it's the politics side of this story that has me the most interested. The Pureblood vs Muggleborn thing, and the Ministry politics. Even the Order has a hand in politics, mirrored by Voldemort's faction. It's a shame the updates are so far apart, but hell, the sheer awesome makes up for it.

    5/5 as before.
     
  20. silverlasso

    silverlasso Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Yes, even though updates are so sporadic, the silver lining is that I'm forced to read at least the previous chapter to get some context, which means it's really twice the update every time!

    And fuck, this chapter was amazing. Harry's character is so believable that I have no qualms about declaring this the best Slytherin!Harry ever (Big D comes close, but it's not on the same scale as this). I can really get into his head and understand his thought processes, and almost everything makes sense given the environment he's acting in. He's also not weak at all, but not Jesus-reborn, either, which is great. Both his strengths and weaknesses are equally well showcased in several arenas (e.g. magic and politics).

    Like everyone else, I really enjoyed Dumbledore's badassery in this chapter. He is also really well done. As believable as this Harry is, Dumbledore is done even better. The latter segment involving him and the whole Elder wand plot thread was superb.

    So yeah. I fucking need more of this.
     
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