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WIP On the Way to Greatness - By Mira Mirth - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by ChuckDaTruck, Mar 31, 2009.

  1. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Those who're complaining about Padma's nature shouldn't be all that surprised.
    I find the similarities with Parvati rather refreshing myself.

    Review reply from the author sounded rather promising, so I'm reserving judgement on this year for now.
     
  2. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Frankly, I have read this story twice now, attempting to understand why others like it, especially when I am usually one to like this kind of fic, however, I cannot understand why anyone likes it.

    I find it boring. All the major details of canon are just skimmed over, there is no real plot, its just a rewrite, with nothing new or interesting really.

    The only chapter I even came close to liking was the last one.

    2/5 for me.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2009
  3. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

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    Why would you read a 57K words story, that you don't like, twice?
     
  4. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Because i've always liked the genre, I wanted to see if I have missed anything that the others were enjoying so much, and because I had forgotten what most of the fic was about, when I read it a month or two ago.

    Any more pointless questions?
     
  5. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

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    Yes. How can you not see the awesomeness of the story?
     
  6. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    QFT. I second this post entirely. 4/5 from me as well.

    Yes it's a retelling of canon, but the story has no illusions of being anything else. That is what it is meant to be, unlike all those other stories that just retell canon while aspiring to be more and simply falling flat. If I had to pick a favorite story between all the ones I've rated 4/5, this one wouldn't come close, but then as swimdraconian said, it's not trying to be an epic saga. It's just trying to be a short, interesting "what if Harry was a Slytherin" story, and it does this well.

    I do like how some things change. Harry didn't get into the "problem solving" mode in his 1st or 2nd years, but in 4th year he's doing some sleuthing to try and figure out who put his name in the Goblet. He was curious in canon, but he didn't really try to figure it out. I liked this simple reversal.

    Harry's friends are done well, especially Neville. None of them seem overbearing on the story and don't try to take the limelight. I liked what she did with Ron -- Ron is a pigheaded idiot about the Slytherin thing until Harry saves his sister, when he seems to pull his head out of his ass. This actually makes sense, just as it makes sense that they never really become friends or talk. Interactions with the Dursleys is also well done and kept to a reasonable amount.

    I think one reason this story works for me is the short chapters and the limit on chapters per year. It doesn't give things a chance to drag out more than they should and let the story get bogged down in itself.

    That said, I understand why some people can't "see the awesomeness" of this story Grub. It's really not awesome in a lot of ways. It doesn't take Harry in a completely new direction, he doesn't get more powerful than he should, there aren't new enemies and new plots to be overcome, and it requires the reader to be familiar enough with canon to "fill in the gaps" in the story rather than telling us the full story itself. I get that, it's not for everyone.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2009
  7. Ame River

    Ame River First Year

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    A nice rewrite, and nice that it's being kept reasonably brief. I do like the simplicity of the plot device - Harry is in Slytherin but *that's it.* No superpowers, no uber-clever schemes, no Harry taking over Slytherin, no epic pwnage. Yes, those things are fun to read but it's refreshing to see basically canon Harry take on a different set of challenges and adapt.

    I was really pleased he didn't get into the 1st year Quirrell/save the stone business at all.

    It's also interesting to see how each newly-introduced canon character has to deal with Harry being a Slytherin and therefore actually accepting he's different than his parents. Everyone from Hagrid to Remus to Snape deals with this and the variety of responses tend to be interesting.

    Nothing fantastic but enjoyable. 4/5 for now. It'll go down if the increased number of chapters/year only yields filler, and up if the story is actually completed.
     
  8. Mordac

    Mordac Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    "A novel will be of a high and noble order, the more it represents of inner, and the less it represents of outer, life; and the ratio between the two will supply a means of judging any novel, of whatever kind, from Tristram Shandy down to the crudest and most sensational tale of knight or robber. (...) The business of the novelist is not to relate great events, but to make small ones interesting."
    Arthur Schopenhauer

    I think that pretty much sums my opinion of the criticism of this fic. I'm a sucker for introspection and character driven fics, I admit it. I know this isn't everyone's cup of tea here, but I'm not going to let that spoil my enjoyment.

    Like I said in the review I left the author, this is the best Harry I've seen since Fayr Warning's unfortunately abandoned Child of Mercy. I'm going to quote directly from the review I left at ff.net now:

    "Even though I can't relate some of his reactions, such as the Sirius Black hating, on re-reading the story (which I did prior to writing this review) I think I am beginning to understand where he is coming from. Aside from those moments, though, he feels very human. You can see how he seeks 'greatness' not for itself but to be able to provide himself a little peace. You note this such as the end of year three when you say "Harry sat back, smiled and felt, for a fleeting moment, at peace." You can almost feel the atmosphere of the moment. Very nicely done.

    You have also featured the most realistic Slytherin House I've seen. A lot of authors enact some laughable 'political' scheme that would be unrealistically complicated in the US Senate, much less among 11 year old schoolchildren, however 'cunning' they may be. I think you have distinguished the Slytherin character from the other houses while avoiding falling into those traps that just blow my suspension of disbelief right out of the water. Congratulations on not overdoing it."

    tl;dr This story rocks if you appreciate character driven fics over Rocambolesque plot turns.

    Five stars and two thumbs up!
     
  9. h2o

    h2o Professor

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    Well, chapter 9 is up and I can only thank ChuckDaTruck for posting this in the For Review section. Nicely spotted, this story is simply getting better and better as it goes. If the author manages to keep the quality and the posting of chapters... this is starting to look like a 5/5. Really looking forward to the next chapter!
     
  10. Agnostics Puppet

    Agnostics Puppet Professor

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    ... Absolutely fucking terrible cliffhanger on the end of chapter 9. He sucks SO DAMN much for doing that.
     
  11. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    I'm glad Padma's essentially out of the picture now. She annoyed me more than ever with her attitude after the second task.

    EDIT: A thought. Crouch "hung" himself in this chapter. How do you think wizards and witches commit suicide? The same way as Muggles or cast a cutting curse on themselves or what?
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2009
  12. Demons In The Night

    Demons In The Night Chief Warlock

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    Great chapter. Damn cliffhanger though.

    I concur with what some others have mentioned, namely that Harry's character is interesting because, unlike most Slytherin!Harry stories, he's not uberpowerful, a genius, draco/snape's bitch, etc. I like the fact that he's a little more curious and observant than canon!Harry, but he hasn't really received any kind of upgrade.

    I also like that the author doesn't go into great detail about the politics and innerworkings of Slytherin. I feel that too many stories get bogged down in that aspect.

    I have a feeling Harry is going to survive through the AK like in DH, after all, it wouldn't be much of a story without Harry.

    Dammit. Want moar, but it's probably going to be nearly a month until the next update.
     
  13. Spanks

    Spanks Chief Warlock

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    I think we are going to see the power of the hallow invisibility cloak. It's supposed to "hide him from death" like the myth says. This will probably alert Voldemort to the hallows a lot sooner than canon.
     
  14. Oneiros

    Oneiros Groundskeeper

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    I don't know. The only reason Voldemort found out about the elder wand was that it was very widely documented. If anything he will probably assume that Harry lived due to some protection Dumbledore placed on Harry. I agree that the cloak will probably be what saves him from death, but I'll bet Voldemort will send Harry's body back assuming Harry to be dead which may lead to Voldemort showing his hand sooner than he did in canon because he believes kidnapping Harry and killing him will show the world he is back in a most effective manner which could have an opposite effect if Harry is once again documented coming back from being hit by the dreaded killing curse.
     
  15. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Wow, what a cliffhanger indeed. I really like how this story is going with regards to what changes and what doesn't in the plot, as well as the differences that being in Slytherin has wrought (or hasn't, as it is).

    I have to admit one thing though. If I was the author, I'd be damned tempted to put up the next chapter and have it simply say "The End. If you liked this story, an epilogue is planned where you can see the reactions of various characters to the events at the end of the previous chapter. Thank you for reading!"

    If the next chapter goes as well as I hope it will, I think I'll upgrade this to a 5/5. I've been nothing but impressed so far, and now that it's starting to throw a few more wrenches in the standard retelling I'm liking it even more.

    Of course with the more the author deviates from canon the more likely quality will go downhill, but votes can always be changed back. I have high hopes.
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2009
  16. Chilli

    Chilli Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Isn't Harry still a Horcrux, though? Perhaps the author will throw a JKR at us and have the AK just destroy the Horcrux. Or, even have it destroy Harry which will then result in a junior Riddle running around :)
     
  17. Agnostics Puppet

    Agnostics Puppet Professor

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    Doubt it. Its supposed to be a canon-redo but 'What if Harry was Slytherin instead'. But hey! At least Cedric survived this time.
     
  18. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    Since when is staring your opponent down and dueling "the Slytherin way?"

    More like the Gryffindor way. Canon Harry took the Hufflepuff route.

    And I don't really see how this is a cliffhanger. It's fairly obvious that Harry will survive and his Horcrux connection will be broken.

    I'm a huge fan of this, and it makes sense given the title of this story. This Harry will most likely end up "great," and assuming that the Horcrux is gone I'm looking forward to him defeating Voldemort without any ridiculous deus ex machina bullshit.

    Good development.
     
  19. Kang

    Kang Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    All of that. The norm for Canon rewrites is Lord General Hermione ordering her troops into battle, with Supreme Magickeness Dumbledore and his twinkling eyes in the background approving.

    I'm liking the change and the story. 4/5
     
  20. Ame River

    Ame River First Year

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    I thought this was a really good chapter. I like that Harry wasn't all that broken up about Padma being a little bitch and then breaking up with him - his priorities are elsewhere, as they should be.

    I'm a little sad that the Moody/Crouch thing got put on the back burner until it was revealed to Harry, although I guess that makes sense.

    Final task and graveyard scenes were nicely done - the small differences were great. I was also irrationally pleased that mira mirth threw in a couple of sentences justifying Voldemort's plan. It makes sense to me, without deviating from canon - this is simply reasoning that wasn't mentioned in canon.

    This story has been very good overall, and fairly consistently had interesting and original alterations to canon. I'll be interested to see how she finishes up this year and whether she starts a major deviation from canon or manages to make things dovetail somewhat.

    I also admit I'm hoping Sirius will play a larger role in the next year, since he did in canon and their relationship could be really interesting.
     
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