Title: Once Bitten, Twice Shy
Author: Wynneception
Rating: T
Genre: Humor
Status: Complete
Fandom: My Little Pony:Friendship is Magic
Pairings: Twilight Sparkle/Fluttershy
Summary: What happens when you take two socially awkward ponies, add the nerves of being in love for the first time, send them out on a date together, then throw in their meddling friends for good measure? You get this story, that's what.
Link: http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/09/story-once-bitten-twice-shy.html

Normally, I'm not a big fan of pony-shipping, but this fic manages to really work because it's freaking hilarious. Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy manage to reach new heights of social awkwardness, and their friends' efforts to help are amusingly unhelpful.

The writing is solid, and all the ponies are nice in-character. About the only thing that bugged me was that Applejack and Rarity seemed a bit too hostile towards each, considering the fact that they'd mostly worked out their differences after "Look Before You Sleep." Even then, the fact that Rarity had gone into super-romantic matchmaker mode in contrast to Applejack's simple, straightforward approach made the conflict understandable. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash do manage to out-funny them when it comes to "advice" and efforts to help, but that's to be expected.

Bottom line, it's well written and made me laugh out loud enough times. That's the most important thing for a humor fic. 5/5.

 

Good stuff. While I agree that pony-shipping generally doesn't work, Twilight and Fluttershy are adorable enough that I can at least live with the melodrama, and are so awkwardly hilarious that they make up for the soap-opera crap.

I hated Pinkie Pie. Stupid songs, stupid jokes, pointless breaking of the fourth wall. HATE.

It's a very funny story, well written, well characterized, but the bullshit Pinkie takes it down a notch. 4/5

 

Really enjoyed this story and even laughed at a few points. Really well written and funny.

Have to agree though that the songs weren't working at all. I don't blame the author for that, it is all but impossible to work songs like that into a written story. Even Rothfuss doesn't really include song lyrics like that into his story.

On the other hand, Pinkie Pie bursting into random songs is part of her character, so, without omitting it, I wouldn't know how to make that aspect better.

Maybe, when Pinkie Pie sings, focusing on the other ponies reactions without including any lyrics at all?

That said, really liked the story overall.

 

It was okay. There were some funny moments in there, but all in all it was just okay. The author doesn't seem to realize visual humor doesn't work as well when written and (s)he constantly writes out the thoughts and motivations of her characters instead of showing it.

If this had been a HP fanfic, I would have called it Almost Recommended and mostly for fans of the ship.

3/5