mmm.

I liked how Voldemort was brought back and some of the implications made during that scene make for an interesting future but.... I didn't like this chapter nearly as much as the rest of the story.

I liked the portrayal of Amelia Bones all the way up to this chapter. Now its just faggy and lame. The Lord Bones idea has to be the lamest, stupidest thing to introduce to this story. There were so many other things that could have been done in it's place that would have made the chapter so much better.

 

When I clicked the link, I wasn't sure if I was even reading the right fic. If the next chapter doesn't start with a total retcon of this latest post, you will have Jumped the Shark.

 

hmmm...

Upon further reading and reflection I'm afraid that Vash might be right. I did kind of introduce the idea of the Bones Necromancer a few chapters ago in passing but it does feel a bit Deus ex machina here...

At this point I'm debating editing it out or just having an unfortunate accident make it not actually happen.

As for the rest of the chapter though I understand why it might feel like a different fic: this is the transition to the second half of the story. My only real question in this area is whether or not anyone thinks I should split it into two stories.

I really did almost consider ending it with the last chapter where they finally got together, as that was the whole point of writing the story, but i figured I had left too many loose ends to just totally walk away and feel that I was done.

Thoughts?

-malice?

 

Have them get together and write a sequel.

Bones thing felt forced.

Between Albus and Voldemort (who should be forced to team up to take down Bella and Harry,) you should have enough antagonists.

Bones thing could work out, but it would be tough...

 

The Bones Necromancer can just be relegated to comic relief, with everyone making terrible puns about his name, and giving him the exact opposite of Harry's luck from Make a Wish.

 

A thought struck me, Harry is a necromancer correct? I am pretty sure that has been hinted at the very least.
Be kind of amusing if Amelia goes to all the trouble of reviving Lord Bones, and the necromancer goes and swears fealty to Harry, man all three (Dumbledore, Voldemort and Amelia) would get ass raped.
I don't know dumb idea that popped in my head.

 

I really like that idea. Not to mention the mental imagery makes me giggle psychotically..........

 

Yeah but if we go by canon Dumbledore would like it. Ah fuck canon most the time any way.

 

There's a lot of hostiliy in the fic. I warmed to it. The aerial duelling maneuver was brilliant, and the battles were top-notch.

The most consistent error is the misspelling of character names, which is puzzling. Like the author can do all this complex math with conjugates and stuff, but misses 2+2.

 

[FONT=&quot][/FONT]definitely loved the fact that Voldmort didn't return and suddenly become some overly powerful wizard with the skills he had in the old world.

Still a great fic, hopefully it isn't another year for the next chapter.

 

Did Voldemort get dumber or is it just me? He seem's like one the stereotypical powerful but inept villains that show up and tv shows and the like.

 

It was over twenty years since he held a wand last time. And he didn't expect his opponent to be that skilled and powerful.

 

Also, he's not really Voldemort. He's Voldemort's... soul/ether/essence/something, placed in the body of a construct created by a very narrowly focused, fucked up Hermione intent on making an idealized Harry.

Might take a while to get up to scratch, given the circumstances.

 

I had almost forgotten about this one until I got the update. I'm with Sesc, I fell in love with this one all over again.

 

In reference to Voldemort, he was talking about having a whole new selection of spells in his head. So basically I'm assuming that he's got a lot of Hermione's knowledge running around in his skull.

In the AU, Voldemort didn't fight a war for over 10 years. He died along with Harry fairly early on in the scheme of things.

Harry and Bella on the other hand are completely battle hardened through a decade of non-stop battles.

Harry has surpassed the Voldemort of this world, and the only thing that kept him alive in his fight with Harry was Hermione's knowledge.

I'm still really disappointed with the update, I've been waiting on this for a long while and it was kind of a let down.

I do however love how he went into a bit more detail about the stances and wand grips (something that I've always liked about this story)

 

I love this fic, especially how bella is portrayed as she should be
That and the fighting scenes are awesome
It's nice that there is a new update now

 

I fell out of love with the story.

The characterizations are too narrow. Nearly everyone is a manipulative chessmaster, crazed lunatic, or an expendable minion.

Then the battles lost their glamor too. Leave this world relies on everyone flinging ridiculously powerful and exotic spells instead of involving the reader through details, I remember Lucullus saying something to that effect in another thread somewhere.

3.5/5.

 

The chapter was decent enough. The only inexplicable part - or rather unexplained part - was why Lucius so hates his son and Pansy. It would be nice to see the reasons for that.