It was a fun time waster and way for me to procrastinate doing my homework, but nothing really more than a guilty pleasure. There was some cool concepts in there - the one about Team Seven going off with Orochimaru is always one I thought could be interesting - but every execution done was pretty poor. Reload definitely was a lot better (though does get boring due to lack of variation after a while).

There was a lot of little things that annoyed me, but the worst would have to be Sasuke's hate for his own clan and his defacing of his clan logos every loop. Just felt over the top and cheesy.

2.5/5.

 

Turns out I've read Reload before. Re-read it anyways.

Edit: Reload is one of those fics that really frustrates me. Half the time I'm quite enjoying what I'm reading, but the other half... I don't. At all.
At least this one is kind of consistent.

 

As there is no "original webfiction almost recommendable" thread, I'll post this here:

http://www.fictionpress.com/s/3055158/1/The-Price-of-Power

Quite good, especially the first 10 chapters or so. Gritty stuff, some interesting ideas, but the technical quality of the writing is mediocre. 3.5/5 rounded up to 4/5.

 

Link is to chapter thirteen. Here's chapter one.

Read the first chapter, and it really didn't pull any me into it. It was flat for most of the narrative, with little dialogue sprinkled in. More telling than showing. If the narrative itself was not some telling a story, then I probably would have gotten more into. It's just that style, for me at least, is hard to get right.

So I'd say a 3/5 for the first chapter. There were some good things in there, just not enough for me to keep reading. So average.

 

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. There's nothing to make me keep reading it. I didn't notice anything particularly awful, aside from kinda stupid dialogue, but the story is dry and rather dull. I got bored by the end of chapter 5.

 

Read the whole thing. It was mildly interesting, but the ending was a bit flat, and didn't have the right build up. Neither did Bobby.

No sequel either, and it was perfectly set up for one.

The writing was bland, and not fantastic. It wasn't terrible, but if this had been a longer piece, I'd've dropped it.

3/5

 

I actually enjoyed this up until

Spoiler

the main character abandoned his girlfriend when she told him she was pregnant

I don't have anything against the protagonist being a bit of an asshole, but this is way over the limit.

 

Yeah, that was a real scumbag move, but it's in character, as disturbing as it is.

 

The writing is just grating on so many levels. I get they're going through time loops, so it like excuses the author from having to properly characterize anyone, but it's just sickeningly bad. It doesn't help that the first two chapters are basically worthless and that the story is suffering from a total lack of subtlety. 2/5

 

? I actually enjoyed it quite a bit, especially when the author jumps around the "timeline." In general, I almost feel like it's a collection of one-shots of time travel Naruto stories.

 

Here's one I've been reading. It's yet another Familiar of Zero crossover, this time with Sword Art Online.

Halkegenia Online Kirigaya Kazuto, Kirito, Beater of SAO, and now a Spriggan in ALfheim online, is fighting to save the love of his life from a fate worse than death. Louise De La Valliere, third daughter of the Valliere family, and student of the Tristain Academy is fighting to prove herself. Two worlds collide as a summon goes wrong and Tristain finds itself with some very confused new residents.


Now I think the description is a bit misleading, which is why I put off reading this for a while. It makes it look like Louise summons Kirito and we delve into another FoZ crossover, except with a character who would probably be quite boring in this instance.

But instead, Louise manages to summon the entirety of Alfheim from the ALO game. That means the whole game world superimposes itself around Halkegenia and every single ALO player appears here. Kirito only features in one of several concurrent subplots, basically has nothing to do with Louise, and Louise herself becomes quite minor as well.

It's refreshing in the way that we see a very different plot to your typical FoZ crossover. There's a large focus on dealing with how the ALO players fit into the world, and how the appearance of ALO monsters and bosses suddenly affect Tristian. As well as how all the NPC creatures (such as pixies) are now real, intelligent creatures.


The main issue is, like SAO canon, I think it trivialises the fact that ALO is a game. Most of the main characters seem to take the change in stride, their 'in game skills' seem to translate too well into real skills (eg, Sakuya's history of being leader in game translates into real diplomacy skill or Argo being a real spy). There should also be more of a contrast between the former SAO players and the ALO players in battle - the SAO players would be used to being in real life and death battles, while ALO players would most likely freak out. The atmosphere amongst the ALO players should be closer to how SAO was during the earlier days.

Still, some interesting plots happening and a regular update. 3/5.

 

Ya, I've been reading this one as well for awhile. I've enjoyed it for the most part, but my biggest problem is the pacing. The author has a habit of bogging the story down by going into a bit too much detail and world building at times.

Another problem I had, and this one is simply personal preference, is that Kirito's level of badass seems to have been taken down a notch compared to what he was in the first arc of SAO. I was kinda disappointed at how even a level the mages of FoZ are compared to Kirito. I felt he should have been closer to at least the level of an Elf. Actually, I think all the fairies should of had a bit bigger of a boost in power compared to the native mages of FoZ. The fairies are so outnumbered in comparison, that a boost in quality would have been a good way to balance the lack of quantity on their part.

Anyway, I'd give the story a 3.5/5 rounded down to a 3.

 

Naruto: Great Clan Days
Author: Kenchi618
Senju Hashirama's dream to unify all of the warring clans of his country under one village remained just that; a dream. Generations later the ninja world still consists of pure clan affiliation. Enacting peace through understanding has fallen to the side. A catalyst is needed for any kind of change to occur, and it is all found in a little boy... for better or for worse. AU.
Follow/FavoriteRated: Fiction M - English - Adventure - Naruto U. - Chapters: 3 - Words: 42,478 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 78 -

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9304878/1/Naruto-Great-Clan-Days


New fic from Kenchi for those who find his fics good/readable. Curious as to what people think.

 

Well, to be fair Kirito's barely had a chance to fight anyone - it's all been other, less leveled characters. I'm not sure how far FF.net is trailing behind Space Battles, but Kirito

Spoiler

goes into his monster illusion form from ALO and basically walks over an entire army laying siege to a castle

at one point, so thus far I'm not really worried about his power level not being up to snuff.

And agreed, the pacing is by far the biggest issue about this story. The author's even acknowledged it, which makes me hope that at some point it'll get better...but probably not, given that it's primarily a Space Battles story, and that cesspit has 600 pages of people debating pointless minutiae, which the author probably feels obligated to address to some degree.

It's a 3.5 for me, and all of those missing points are from the pacing. The writing, characterization, plot, etc. are all actually very good.

 

Something new:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9068231/1/Last-Second-Savior

I found this while browsing SW crossovers. It's a guilty pleasure fic, with a Gary Stu Harry and Aayla Secura as his first romantic interest. The technical writing is not very good either. 2.5/5, rounded up to 3/5 for an interesting setup.

 

I've read that, and it was okay. Leans more to the barely readable part of the spectrum though.

My biggest problem with the story is that it's 60,000 words in and almost nothing of note has happened. Some stories rush through the "holy shit I'm in another world" part of a crossover which is annoying, but in this story all Harry and Aayla have done basically is sleep naked in a tent together and discuss the differences in their worlds/practice magic.

Redeeming factors are that Harry's universe is kind of interesting, it has the potential to get a lot better once they finally leave Felucia and as far as I can remember the spelling/grammar wasn't overtly offending.

 

I've read that one. It's decent and readable. Nothing too amazing, but there are barely any Star Wars / HP that are even readable so it fills a niche.

 

Sooo, I found this interesting little thing when I was browsing around. the other day. Interesting Mentor!Zetsu fic. Not to far into it, which is why I toss it here, might add it to for review otherwise...

Some changes to Zetsu, though. Most notably that while he has the same personality, his history is different, and he is also not a member of Akatsuki. Truthfully, I think the history change is welcome. The canon explanation was :| really.

 

I read that. For those interested, the author has written a (completed, novel length) Mentor!Kakuzu fic which some of you may have read. The premise bears a lot of similarities (although this time the story takes place in Konoha) and the quality is comparable, so however you felt about the Mentor!Kakuzu fic is probably exactly how you will feel about the Mentor!Zetsu fic.

---------- Post automerged 05-26-2013 at 08:17 PM ---------- Previous post was 05-25-2013 at 09:15 PM ----------

I performed a search to see if this had been posted here, but I could not find it so I assume it's safe to post. I don't know if other people consider this library worthy, but it's pretty good:

Fandom: Naruto
Title: How it All Began
Author: Lagadatte
Rating: T
Genre: Adventure/Romance
Chapters: 17
Word Count: 169K
Published:5/5/12
Updated: 5/25/13
Pairing: Minato/Kushina
Summary:
Minato Namikaze was the legend of Konoha, the hero who died for his people and for his beliefs. What led to this sacrifice? What are the trials he had to face in his own time? A Minato and Kushina fanfic, following canon

The author seems to really like Mina/Kush. He/she recently published a second Mina/Kush story of Kushina time traveling from her death to her introduction at the academy.

The story I linked to attempts to paint a canon complaint picture of Minato and Kushina prior to the Kyuubi attack. There are a few things I dislike (e.g. Danzou's inexplicable dislike of Minato) and there were a few parts where the story dragged, but among active Mina/Kush stories it is the best I've read by far.

Minato is frighteningly strong, yet totally within the realm of believability, which is pretty cool to see. I recommend at least giving it a try.

 

Nice of you to include a summary of that, bro. >_> Knew I wanted to read it immediately because of that. D: