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Oneshot Outside these Walls by Silentclock - T

Discussion in 'Romance' started by Genghiz Khan, Aug 26, 2017.

  1. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Unspeakable

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    Title: Outside these Walls
    Author: silentclock
    Rating: Fiction T
    Genre: Adventure/Romance
    Status: Complete
    Library Category: Romance
    Pairings: Harry/Daphne
    Summary: The fires of resistance fade one by one, the walls close in, and Harry forsakes his last ties to his homeland, fleeing Britain's dark shores with Daphne at his side. -Oneshot-
    Link: FFN WBA

    This one dates back from 2012, I'm surprised it's not in the library. A really well-done oneshot which straddles the line between romance and, well, something else with the grace of a trapeze artist. The writing is top-notch, as can be expected from a product of DLP and the story gets you. I don't even want to spoil it by accident. All I'm gonna say is that this story hit me like a punch to the gut. I read it 6 hours ago and I'm still feeling it. 5/5
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2017
  2. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros.

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    Top notch stuff, written the way AUs should be written. Great progression, and the ending is a right punch in the gut, even when I was expecting something like that to happen.

    4.5/5
     
  3. Rapscallion

    Rapscallion Groundskeeper

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    It's been so long since I read it in WBA and I am a bit amazed that no one submitted it for review in all this while. But then again we have few other fics in wba which wouldn't be out of place in library.

    Coming back to the story itself, I have personally been a huge fan of Silentclock's writing (given that he hasn't really given much to read lately). I was reviewing another one shot earlier today and listed a few points that could make or break any fic. This piece, in my opinion, checks all of those boxes. It is self sufficient as in no extra background is given that could derail the flow of the fic. Just the right amount for nice characterization and justify the plausibility of AU. The structuring and pacing has been done wonderfully well. It's quite telling how we are ushered into it smoothly without any break in immersion, setting us up perfectly for that pull the rug from under moment at the end. Another aspect I liked about it is the right amount of vagueness, letting the reader's imagination cook up a bit.

    The only thing sticking out a bit was that the ending felt a bit rushed, especially the escape scene. It was a bit jarring. Perhaps, it was done intentionally to add extra effect towards the end.

    Anyway, this a perfect example as to how an one shot should be pulled off and it was nice reading it once again. I have voted 5/5.
     
  4. Jarizok

    Jarizok Groundskeeper

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    Great fic. It really lends itself perfectly to a one shot.

    If there's anything bad to be said about this, it's that Harry&co are pretty crappy wizards from what we see. Can probably be explained via Hogwarts having gone down the drain in this au or something, but awesome magic(al ability) is better than disappointingly average or just disappointing magical ability.

    4.5/5, rounded down.
     
  5. Lord Murtaza

    Lord Murtaza First Year

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    I feel as though this fic would be better off categorized 'The Alternates' instead of 'Romance', considering the sheer differences in the universe this fic inhabits (besides the obvious one labeled in the summary), and the fact that the romance itself exists as a plot element only to lend gravitas to the twist in the ending.

    The main two characters are pretty OCish, which is understandable considering the changes to the universe made by the author. The beauty about canon Daphne is that she's a blank slate and so authors are free to color her personality as they see fit. Unfortunately, faar too many fics have Daphne as this 'Ice Queen' pseudo-intellectual haughty master-of-politics that I found this fics Daphne oddly preppy. This of course, is hardly a detractor.

    The writing is smooth and tolerable. The imagery is nothing special and so bears little mention and the pace is acceptable. The plot is interesting enough to keep your attention.

    Readers of this fic who go in knowing there's a twist in the ending will naturally not get the full impact of the ending (really gentlemen, a spoiler warning would not go amiss, and yes I'm aware I'm being hypocritical but the cats out of the bag now), and if I'm being honest, the twist was a bit predictable. Still, it was executed fairly well.

    I enjoyed the ambiguous ending. Still not sure what HPs going to do with his wand.

    With all of this nitpicking notwithstanding, my enjoyment of the fic warrants a 4/5.
     
  6. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    I didn't see the ending coming, though I'm sure I'll be able to spot the foreshadowing upon a reread. While it was written well enough technically, I never really felt like I had a good handle on the characters. There were the flashbacks and such to give us a taste of it, but I didn't ever feel emotionally invested in the characters. That's probably why I didn't feel the same gut punch that you did.

    Were I rating it for my own purposes, I'd give it a 3.5/5 rounded down because it was decent but not good enough to archive for my own library. I can recognize that it's library-worthy for DLP, however, so I'll give it a 4/5.
     
  7. Stan

    Stan Order Member

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    The story was kinda average for the most part, but I loved the ending. Even as I saw a twist coming, the execution got me. It elevates what would otherwise have been a mediocre fic.

    The problem with the fic is that until that point everything seemed rather unimaginative. Daphne's personality felt very generic. I think the worldbuilding could have been better - the Voldemort ruled world was rather cookie cutter. The author tried to lend depth to the characters and the world by mentioning a bit of the AU history, but it turned out as boring exposition. The dialogue was serviceable, but little more than that.

    The one part I did like was Harry and Daphne talking wistfully about sleeping in a bed and ice cream - I thought it sold the shittiness of their world better than the stuff about Voldemort killing everyone. Richard was fine too.

    3.5/5, rounded down.