Terrifying is definitely the right word for him. The thing with barbers once being surgeons tied the whole deal together really well. I laughed a bit at the legless rider on a horse though. It'd be even more ridiculous if he wasn't such a force to be reckoned with.

Even though I was wrong about Barbatorem being gone, I bet there's a connection between Rose and him. Maybe not so much in that she is a part of him, but instead that she was designed with him in mind. Grandmother was a cagey old battleaxe and the fact that Rose can't interact with Barbatorem puts all the pressure on Blake. There's got to be some sort of relationship there. Even just a tangential one.

There are three things that are bothering me right now:

1) The conversation between Rose and Blake is a touch stilted at times. Especially when they're both getting angry at each other. I think Wildbow's conversations are at their best either when they're light-hearted, or when one character has power over the other.
2) The books. There's a lot of telling before the showing happens. This is kind of understandable since Blake needs to be really careful about how he approaches the Others. There just has to be a better way of conveying the fact that he's learning. It's interesting, I just wish we got to see more of it practice sooner.
3) The beginning.This has already been talked about so I'll just say it still needs a bit of touching up. That or Blake's bizarre acceptance of this stuff will be explained soon.

Still looking forward to more. The council meeting will no doubt be interesting.

 

I really liked the first chapter - the whole family was well characterized and the conflict was interesting - a twisted game from a twisted old woman.

The four month time skip though, gah! Talk about- gah! I would have loved to have explored that family dynamic more, to see some buildup before the supernatural stuff...

The lack of detail is definitely something that needs to be worked on. Particuarly in the chapter detailing the "bird mask things" -- a creature like can elevate a work when it's well described.

It feels like things are moving too fast. And I really don't like this Rose character - it's like she's just a sounding board for the protagonist. Admittedly, that's better than having him constnatly talk to himsefl, but their dynamic is pretty non-existant and I don't buy Rose as a character, she feels more like a device for the author at the moment.

I like the premise, but I feel like the story is stumbling at the moment. I guess, as long as the plot moves forward, I can keep reading it, but it feels like Wildbow is sprinting here when he should be more careful about each chapter.

 

Yeah, not my story. Too much happening too soon and I really have a hard time understanding Blake (for example am I correct thinking him gay?), the whole rebellious teenager theme just seems so idiotic to me.
The pragmatical and intelligent nature of Taylor was pretty much the only reason for me to read Worm and without I find wildbows writing too depressing/confusing.

 

Considering he specifically says that he's not gay, I don't think he's gay. Though I did also get that vibe from some of his earlier interactions with people.

My problem with Blake is that he just doesn't interest me much yet. On the other hand, the world of Pact interests me more than enough to keep me reading.

I also think it's a little too easy to try and compare Blake, a fledgling character, to Taylor, a fully-developed and richly realized character. Taylor didn't seem very interesting for me either until around the point when she met the Undersiders, so I think I'll hold off on judging Blake too harshly yet.

EDIT: One thing I'm not liking so far about this story is the Rose/Blake interactions. Most of the time it feels like they're just cookie-cutter emotion versus reason conflicts. There's nothing really interesting about the dynamic yet and I'm not sure that Rose is really bringing anything to the table other than adding more dialogue as opposed to thoughts. I'd really like to see Rose develop more, because I'd like her to become more than just a foil put there so Blake doesn't have to talk to himself.

Blake's tragic past is also feeling a bit forced at this point, and I think the author needs to reevaluate how to leverage that. I'm not actually feeling the emotional weight of it when he talks about his past, and I'm not really sure how change that off the top of my head but I do think it's an issue.

 

I'm not either, because there has yet to be a single reason to bring up his past. Every mention of his past has felt forced, like Blake has been whining about it. It reads unnaturally and like Wildbow is trying to force our empathy. Blake's past is the kind of thing that needs to be left unsaid. That's what I liked about the beginning - prodigal son on a motor bike shows up at a funeral - great opening device. That's all you need for his past. Hell, that's it and maybe a few revealing phrases down the line. You don't need to sell us on that angle, I've met tons of people who did similar stupid shit. My father, as soon as he graduated from high school, literally got on a bus to California and never looked back. Young people end up as "homeless" all the time, drifters going from place to place looking for work and a good time.

I'd advise Wildbow to honestly stop writing for a week and redo the chapters that exist currently. He seldom does that, but I think the story is going to be a hard hook for future readers, even if this thing does shape up over time. The pacing here is the poorest he's ever done.

 

Chime: Comment on the board, he's pretty good at addressing things like this when people bring it up.

 

I very much agree about the past. Prodigal son on a motor bike showing up at a funeral is fantastic. Afterwards, I think all we really need are vague references to his past. Blake feels, right now, far too eager to spout off about his past at any opportunity he gets. It's a shame, too, because I think it could easily be compelling if made less obvious.

I think one thing that might actually connect the issue of Blake's past and Rose's lack of interesting-ness is that Blake seems far too willing to justify himself to her, if he does in fact have this dark drifter past. This makes most of their conversations read like exposition talking about why Blake thinks the way he does about things, and frankly it ruins any dynamic they might have had.

 

What board? Spacebattles or whatever? No thanks! But if he has his own board, maybe.

 

The board where he posts the story. See the first page for a link.

 

That was exactly one metric unit of update. Not a whole lot to say really. It feels like the main point of this section was to lay out why Grandmother Rose didn't teach her kids magic.

Yep.

 

Just finished getting up to date. It's interesting, but hasn't fully hooked me in yet. But then, neither did Worm for the first 2 arcs.

A pretty major criticism I have so far is Blake feels just a touch emotionless. The events that are occurring seem to lack impact because he seems too unnaturally calm and when he does have a bit of an emotional reaction, it feels a tad forced. Complete agree with Idiot_Rocker's assessment that Wildbow's not great at writing emotionally charged interactions.

So far, Rose and Blake have done a ridiculously good job of navigating this new world with the very limited information they're coming across - but I'm hoping there's at least a few mistakes they start to make due to misinterpreting or misunderstanding certain things.

I feel her relations with Aimon may end up being significant too.

 

Good point actually. I kind of blazed over that scene. Perhaps out of minor frustration with the whole letter format.

It seems like there's a very thin margin for error in Pact. Especially considering how far up against the wall Blake has been pressed. I totally agree with you about the whole Rose-Blake relationship being one that might need a bit of a re-evaluation. Someone else mentioned that her primary purpose seems to be exposition, which is pretty accurate so far.

I really wish the non-magical part of the family was still around. It would lead to a more varied cast of characters for Blake's immediate interaction.

 

Oh goody, the meeting commences!

 

Oh damn. Now that's how you introduce yourself.

Spoiler

The offer for a ceasefire is a decent bluff, and he's left enough room for interpretation in the wording that he's got some good room to manoeuvre in. Blake does the indy ploy pretty well.

 

Every time we see townspeople, they get more and more annoying. It's good to know that there is some magic involved in making them even greater jerks.

Out of all the Others, Padriac is the only one that's not terrifying. For whatever reason, I'm reading him as Regent from Worm.

 

Wondered why he seemed familiar. Then again, the only reason Regent wasn't a particularly terrifying enemy was that he was on Taylor's side. Padraic seems to be all of his sociopathy with none of his loyalty.

 

Haha, I made the exact same mental comparison first time I read him. Though don't think it's not about being a lack of terrifying ability wise so much as a playful personality.

But yeah, Wildbow has always done a good job of writing underdog characters going head to head against enemies way above them in a manner that doesn't feel like a cheesy, Indy!Harry fic.

 

The scariest thing about Padraic was him mistaking Blake for a woman. That shows a complete lack of understanding of humans that exceeds sociopathy by an order of magnitude.

 

That's actually an interesting observation. Especially because Grandmother Rose seemed to only want female heirs to avoid confusing Barbatorum. Although, Others do seem different enough that there's definitely some wiggle room between how Padriac, and Barbatorum, see the world.

Maybe there's another reason as to why she wanted only girls?

 

It was explained in the initial letter from Rose to the heir.

"Beings as long-lived as powerful Others have trouble telling us apart, when we live and die so quickly and when we often look the same, and it helps to establish a pedigree or pattern. Some have ornaments of office, others carry on with seventh sons. We use daughters, and we keep to a smaller community. If they call you Rose, Elizabet, Frances, Esther, Ruth, I recommend you take it in stride. You are, as of now, simply one piece of a long thread."