Its squicky to me. The first time I saw one I was like and pressed the back button immediately. They gross me out. Harry/Lily and Harry/James both make me want to uke:

I agree with the friendship teachers thing that gets on my nerves too.

More pet peeves:

Ron turning into a Death Eater Good grief I know people hate Ron but that's ridculous. Ron's a blood traitor remember? Why would he join the people attempting to kill him!

Any character no matter who becoming more of a Sue/Stu than she/he already is in canon HP has enough Sues and Stus without people adding to them in fanfiction!

 

I know it's canon, but I've reached the point where I *hate* stupid shouting Ron. I like him at least average intelligence and having a minimum degree of maturity appropriate to a near-adult who has been through several major traumas. Hermione can quite easily be used simply as an animated Great Big Book of Everything With Everything to Know. Ron should be an expert on those Wizarding customs that no one ever writes down, like cow-tipping, details relating to holiday traditions, why buildings don't have a thirteenth floor, don't step on a crack in the pavement. Instead he's reactive, lazy, disloyal.
Drives me wild.

 

My peeves. Apologies if they have already been said. Most are people getting things from canon wrong.

1. The idea that "Dark Lord" is some sort of official title. Like there have been "Dark Lords" throughout history and Voldemort is the latest of them. Newsflash: Grindelwald was a dark wizard, not a dark lord. As far as we know, Voldemort is the only wizard to be known as "the dark lord", and this is because of his self-created name: Lord Voldemort.

2. People taking non-verbal spellcasting to mean spellcasting without incantation, rather than a mental incantation.

3. The idea that Harry apparated as accidental magic. He did not. He jumped, and received a boost onto the roof.

4. People talking about "masteries". I'm more able to forgive this one, because unless you're familiar with the history of the British schooling system it is an easy mistake to make. Anyway, a "Potions master" isn't a qualification - it's a position. At a British school, the History master is the teacher who is in charge of the history department, the Science master is the teacher in charge of the science department, and so on. This terminology has fallen out of use more recently, with the only one still really being used is "Boarding master" - the teacher in charge of students who board. Anyway, Hogwarts is modeled on the British schooling system, and as such "Potions master" simply means that Snape is Hogwarts' chief (and only) Potions teacher.

5. The idea of raw magical power.

6. Muggle stuff being used. Especially guns.

7. Scaling up the Harry Potter world beyond even the most generous estimates in terms of wizarding population.

8. Making the Dark arts the same as the Dark Side in Star Wars.

9. Slash.

10. Draco Malfoy. In any form. I don't so much dislike him so much as think that he's a really boring character who I have no interest in. His playing a big part in a story will always turn me off.

11. The cliched view of the Ministry is incompetent. It was incompetent under Fudge, yes, but it has great potential (see the Voldemort-run Ministry for how powerful it can be with an effective leader).

12. Bad spelling.

13. Bad formatting.

14. Poor and wildly out-of-canon magical theory in general. I don't mind magical theories that I disagree with, so long as they mesh with canon. Some, however, do not (going into a trance and finding your "magical core"...urgh).

15. It needs a point just to itself because of the amount of my hatred for it...magical fucking cores.

16. Stupid!Voldemort.

17. Character bashing of any kind.

18. Making Snape weak.

19. Hagrid. Like Draco Malfoy, he's a very dull character and the less screen time he has the better.

20. Other countries being utopias and Britain being stuck in the Dark ages.

21. Exaggeration of the popularity and level of public acceptance of the Pureblood movement.

22. A badly characterised Dumbledore.

There are no doubt many more.

 

I agree with just about everything you said, but I would like to say something about numbers 2 and 3.

Regarding #2, a lot of times in fanfiction, the author skips over the mental incantation, because if you write out the incantation everytime, it gets really tedious.

Example:

Harry sent a silent bone breaking hex at the Death Eater in front of him, then immediately spun to his opposite side to address the next threat.

vs.

Harry squared up with the Death Eater in front of him, mentally incanted ossis fossum, and then spun to his opposite side to address the next threat.


You see what I'm saying? There needs to be a balance. The author should write out the incantation some times, but I don't want to see 50 spelled out, boldened incantations every duel, and I don't want to see "Harry cast X spell silently" every time. There needs to be a mix of both. You can do 50/50, 60/40, whatever. I just hate scenes cluttered with tons of boldened incantations.



And regarding #3, I think you are against this because it's become a cliche in fanon, rather than objecting to it because it's unlikely. The point is, there is not enough evidence to say whether he apparated or not. If I remember correctly the passage in PS goes something like this,

"Harry was running away from Dudley and his gang, when suddenly he found himself on the roof of the school".

There are not enough details in this passage (if I paraphrased correctly) to say either way is right. JKR didn't mention a loud crack, the sound that accompanies apparation, but there is nothing to suggest he made a Ranma esque jump to the roof like this example sentence,

"Harry was running away from Dudley and his gang, when suddenly the air was rushing by his face, and he felt a brief sensation of flight, before landing on the roof of the school".


See what I mean? The passage in PS is very ambiguous the way I remember it.

I'm a huge nitpicker myself, but I think this is going above and beyond the call of duty. If you are against it because it's cliche, that's fine. But to say he certainly did not apparate is dumb because the sentence wasn't descriptive enough.

Personally, I don't mind it if authors have Harry apparating instead of jumping. It sets a precedent for powerful wandless magic if you are writing a backstory for Powerful!Harry.

 

Redemption through love. I cannot tell you how much I despise this in fanfiction.

Especially when Hermione-fucking-Sue or Gin-slut are sent back in time, captured by Death Eaters, or are writing to a diary where they fucking redeem Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle does not want to be redeemed. Especially not with hackneyed dialogue, one-dimensional characters, unbelievability in general, and god damn cliches.

It's the same thing with Snape. Snape is a bitter middle-aged man who will die a virgin. He is a social retard incapable of having relationships with anyone. Leave it alone.

 

What are you talking about? Snape gets the bitches.

Armortentia is not rape .

 

The passage said he was trying to jump behind some bins and ended up on the roof. So we already know that he was in the process of jumping.

Ah yes, I'm in agreement with you there. By argument was not with narration - I too prefer it when non-verbal incantations are skipped entirely in the narration - but one with the magical theory often presented in fics that silent magic is magic without incantation at all.

 

I guess the passage is different than what I remember. I would like to see the real passage though. I don't have the book, but would it be on HP Lexicon? Or can you go through the book and type it out? I just want to be absolutely sure.

Ah, I see what you were saying. HBP kills the 'no mental incantation' for silent casting theory, so it would be odd to see a fic where the author did that.

 

About the apparation thing. Relevant passage:

Could be a super-powered jump, but could also be apparation just as well. Remember, you Apparate by concentrating, turning and then jumping forward...

 

Thanks IP.

This gives slightly more credence to the 'jump' theory. Still not enough to sway me either way, but I still don't see why an author can't make it that Harry apparated as long as he has a reason for it.

I don't see how this could be a peeve.

 

That the Killing Curse is a painless death. This usually pops up when someone gets rid of the dementors and decides that AK would make a good substitute for the kiss. Newsflash, I'm pretty sure Voldemort said it fucking hurt!

 

LOL you really think someone like Snape, a talented (I'm loathe to admit) wizard with no loyalty to anyone but a long-dead woman, will let something like social ineptitude or his ugliness stop him from gettng laid? That's wishful thinking at best.

 

Like I said...

armortentia FTW.

 

... or, you know, money - if you want to minimize the risk of a jail cell. Especially considering that Snape already has a very bad reputation with the Aurors. Snape likes being in control, remember. He'd pay to be able to call the shots.

 

It's only illegal if you get caught. And, I'm sure (I say this grudgingly, by the way) Snape's smart enough not to get caught.

 

He's also smart enough to minimize his risks; especially the risks that have "Azkaban" on the end of the path. Snape is brilliant, calculating, and utterly controlled. He won't be led around by his hormones.

Peeve: Stupid Snape.

 

Ohh, two more peeves:

1. People saying that all 3 of the unforgivables are unblockable. It's just the Killing curse.

2. People saying that use of the unforgivables is illegal. It isn't. It's only using them on humans that is against the law.

 

I am not sure about the first one. But the second one I fully support and encourage. Especially when it comes to house elves, nasty little creatures that they are.

 

Dunno about the Imperious, because blocking and throwing off are different things. But that's splitting hairs, really.

As for your second point, I can see lulzy defenses coming up in the Wizengamot:

"Your honor, I was trying to get rid of the garden gnome - the Mudblood,er, befuddled wizard stumbled in the way..."

 

I'd laugh but I could see someone getting away with that using that excuse. Silly backwards wizarding world, tricks are for kids.

A couple of these i'm sure were mentioned:

The all-use-only-shield-you'll-ever-need spell, just a waste of time even if it is canon. Way to powerful for any serious fic unless you super charge it, and even then it shouldn't be the most effective thing ever.

People who have overly long author notes.

Golden patronus, 'nuff said.


Also for the record i've seen authors saying the unforgivables are unblockable. This generally causes me to alt+f4 (which annoys me when I realized I closed all my other tabs too...).