Here is one:

Why is it that so many writers have woman as near slaves in their fics? Some sort of dominance game going on in their heads? The whole marriage contract, woman are possesions etc. I would think that a wand is a great equalizer in Wizarding societies.

And another is when Harry becomes head of the Black family - a clan obsessed with blood purity - somehow and then proceeds to simply dissolve marriages left and right. If, as is popularly used, a contract is involved, you'd think that there would be limitations to a family suddenly and whimsically cancelling out decades long marriages.

 

Every fic in which Harry Potter is a half-angel half-demon dark veela vampire multi-animangus dragon who is divinely ordained to balance light and dark by the physical personification magic itself who is also secretly his mother makes me die a little inside. It isn't fanfiction when the writer uses an established property to lure the unsuspecting into reading their embarrassingly bad vaguely Judeo-Christian myth-stories, it's plagiarism

 

@ Kaz Hirai

Your avatar scares me.

 

It's not really that important, but in all more or less readable fics there Harry has siblings, none of them ever had same green eyes as him (usually they have brown). Even if harry has twin, they are fraternal and have differently coloured eyes. I suppose it's genetically correct, but I doubt any of the authors done it because of genetics..

 

Christ on a pogo stick, there's two of them. *slowly backs away**

 

But he's Kazuo Hirai, CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment. All he wants to do is give videogames to all of the children in the world. How could you be scared of such a nice person?

 

I suspect those so-called "games" are actually conveying subliminal messages directly into our children's minds, with the long-term goal of brainwashing them into committing unspeakable crimes.

Sony is the arm of the devil.

 

Possibly, but you can't deny that the IBM/Sony/Toshiba Cell chip, which powers the Playstation 3, kicks. major. ass.

 

LOL @Kaz: I've never met a fangirl of a CEO before...

On topic: I don't know if it's been mentioned (this thread is loonnnng), but a particular peeve of mine is house-elf speech. The only thing they do is substitute Proper nouns for pronouns, not the gross mispronunciation that's touted in fanon.

Correct:

Incorrect:

 

Because when I look at him I think he's going to rape me.

 

He's already raped you. Your mind is just suppressing the memory. That's why the picture has such a profound effect on you.

 

Oh God it's all coming back , the images *tear* *tear*, how horrible! I'm going to go cut myself and cry myself to sleep!

 

@Lindow:
You must feel so used, so violated.
* sympathy *
You poor, poor person.
* epiphany *
You know, sometimes it can help to talk about these things. To unload, so to speak, to someone interested and empathetic. Perhaps you could tell me what happened?

Really, you can tell me. I'd never tell what happened to you. Just, share it. Talk about all the horrifying details. Tell us about how he stalked you, how he told you that he loved you. Tell us - I mean tell me - how he said he's just hold you, how he'd NEVER do anything that you didn't want him to do to you...



Edited to add: I'm going to hell, aren't I?
Second Edit: Sorry. Fixed.

 

Yes you are going to hell. You spelled my name wrong.

 

But who'd want to rape poor little Lindow? He's such a nice little thing, isn't he? *Sweet, sugary & evil little smile*

 

Apparently Kazuo Hirai, CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment.

 

Yeah, I agree; he should have used a sub-human mudblood schoolyard whore like Hermione...

 

I liked Phil Harrison more, but he jumped ship sometime after the PS3 lost Sony several billion dollars in a single quarter. He's the president of Atari/Infogrames now.




Also, I agree. House elves are already dangerously Uncle Tom. Making them "yassa boss" around with improper verb conjugation is both annoying and mildly disturbing.

One more thing I hate is the fact that some idiots are never satisfied with how special Harry is. He's already a universally popular wizarding Jesus figure, but apparently unless he's invented a thousand of his own spells, has multiple house rings on every finger, and has a magical silver katana of his very own, he's just not special enough.

This is the time at which some fanfic writers spew hundreds of thousands of words about Harry looking in all of his huge vaults full of gold, personally training with multiple martial arts masters, and learning how to harness his nonexistent animangus powers. There's a reason why Rocky was a two hour movie with a two minute training montage instead of the opposite: All of this shit is completely and entirely boring.

Example:

Disregarding the fact that the kitchen sounds like standard trashy suburban McMansion furnishings with ridiculous pretensions to elegance (Cream refrigerators being the choice of gauche, vallium-addled baby-boomer housewives and disgusting middle-managers who don't know shit about shit regarding making their house not look like a disgusting hovel), the above passage is also unreadable garbage because literally nobody would ever possibly care about it.

I'm sorry for going on so long, but one thing led to another I guess.