A hometown girl, for you.

Long story short: She's a pureblood witch born 1603 in Ireland. Father was a direct descendant of Morrigan. Parent are murdered when she's 5 because it's Harry Potter.

Goes to live with her aunt who is a crazy, racist, bitch who doesn't let Isolt go to Hogwarts because it's full of mudbloods. She's the bad guy because she's related to the Gaunts: Everyone has to be born a Weasley, marry a Weasley, or be related to the Gaunts and evil from birth because it's Harry Potter.

When she's 17, Isolt steals her aunt's wand and runs away to America.
She ends up adopting two orphan boys because it's Harry Potter.

She falls in love with a muggle, they make some wands for the boys.

Her aunt tracks her down and attacks. She's defeated.

They found Ilvermorny, the American school of magic that Queenie (whose name was originally supposed to go to Daphne Greengrass, and after not doing the obvious and using it for Astoria, JKR finally couldn't resist and gave the name to Tina's sister) insists is the best magic school in the world in the Fantastic Beasts movie.
Newt disagrees, but who gives a shit: Hogwarts is a madhouse.

 

Yeah, only for their stupid anti-Muggle laws, I'd prefer Ilvermory...

 

I'm sure Ilvermorny has its own batshit goings on. It wouldn't be much of a magic school if it didn't, after all.

Re: wand construction, I think you may be inferring too much from the ease with which Isolt made those wands, @Warlocke. The story tells us that there's no great technical barrier to wand creation, but that doesn't mean there's no contextual barrier. It would seem to me in keeping with the HP magic system that the context in which a wand is made matters a great deal as to whether it will work or not, and what its character will be.

 

Just ran into one of my biggest pet peeves in any story set in the far future: present day references. Either having a character who likes music, tv or film from our era or the era the author was raised in, or talking about pop culture references from the same. Just to top it all off, having the "knowledgeable" character mock the other characters for not knowing where the media or pop culture comes from.

 

You can just tell the author was teased for their music/media tastes at some point.

 

Like Monty Python quotes? Or Star Wars quotes, or other shit like that?

Its pretty common in the stories that feature Harry raised by caring Dursleys, or somehow, if he's raised by Sirius, or Remus they get to show him those because "James took them to <insert wizard speak for theater> once and they were hooked ever since."

I don't see it as often anymore, or atleast, I guess I've managed to avoid stories that focus on it. I remember that being a big thing back in the day, especially in wizard/muggle tech fics.

 

Solid pet peeve, even though it could actually be done well too, if not run into the ground so much. Sirius' bike is evidence enough of some exposure to the muggle world. Holy Grail came out in '75, was righly praised as the masterpiece it is, and it's entirely reasonable for it to be what the teenage marauders saw when they made a daring adventure into the muggle world to see what this cinema thing James heard Lily mention is all about. Having done that, I could also see a teenage James Potter deciding that over-quoting the movie as best he could would be a perfect way to impress Lily with his muggle know-how.

 

Nah, it was a Halo story. The story had some soldier who was part of the ensemble cast make late 2000s, early 2010s pop culture and movie references despite being set in the 2550s.

 

My god, once you've read one Hermione travels back in time to save the world fic, you've read them all. Here are some key points, included in literally every example of the genre:

1. Harry and Ron are referred to as "her boys" at least once
2. Within a single week she's been adopted by a pure blooded family and showered in wealth
3. She catches the eye of tall, dark and handsome
4. Tall, dark and handsomes equally good looking (but unfortunately boorish) friend is also interested
5. She "unknowingly" goes on 1-3 dates with said friend, before she breaks things off; usually the "kiss had no spark", or she's involved in some weird love triangle that only the stunning women of fanfiction can comprehend
   
6. Hermione is so talented and smart that she's destined to save the world
7. Usually she does this by spreading her legs
8. At some point she goes through a mental breakdown (If I change the world, what will happen to my friends?!)
9. What will my friends think of my shacking up with Tom Riddle/Regulus Black/Lucius Malfoy?
10. She's a modern woman, and needs no one to look after her
11. That said the help that's bequeathed from her adopted guardian along with all that money is quite helpful indeed
12. Also with fashion choices, Hermione can't determine how fashion works
13. Sometimes she travels back into the future, where it's expected her old friends will just immediately accept her brand new lover and friends
14. Ron gets jealous, Harry puts his head in her lap for her to pet
15. Sirius is ultra promiscuous, he's gone through at least 100 women by the time he turns 17

 

Kind of a general irritation, but I've had it with stories where the speech tags tell you that some dialog is sarcastic or a joke. A joke's not funny if you have to explain it, and that applies to both its meaning and whether or not there's a joke at all.

 

That sounds horrible.

 

Yeah, that sucks. Modifying adverbs like sarcastically or jokingly are almost always an indicator the author doesn't know what they're doing.

Of course there are adverbs that lend flavor to a tag, like quietly, as long as you don't overuse them -- sometimes you just want that quality between a whisper and a normal voice where murmur and mumbling doesn't fit. Then again, when you start whispering quietly, things are again moving into stupid territory at high velocity.

It's tricky business. And now that I think about it, I'll probably spend the next minutes with the ctrl+f function, combing my current draft for useless tags.

 

Umbridge mpreg fics

*Shudders*

 

People actualy (a) make her male, and (b) have her pregnant?!

 

Don't know if it's my age catching up with me, the thing that bothers me now is when characters are in front of a large audience and do something amazing and hardly anyone reacts to it. I've been bashing my head in slowly from so many times its happened in Fanfiction now, that I gag a little when I thought it was cool at some point.

 

I despise when James and Sirius are portrayed as dumb. It just makes no sense. They helped to create the marauder's map which is one of the most impressive feats of magic in the entire series imo.

 

Just make the purebloods watch "Star Wars" and eat pizza, and they will realize the superiority of the muggle world. And yes, it's always pizza and "Star Wars."

 

I remember reading a story where it was Kebabs and Lord of the Rings.

 

It was actually set in the far past and Harry had a front row seat of it because he time traveled there.