You forgot to add a random date way before any of the band members' birth dates to go along with nonsensical punctuation.

 

I’ve noticed usage of Onomatopoeia in a couple of stories lately, and I have to be honest, I don’t understand. Does the author genuinely believe that 5 “krakbooms” will… improve the story? Or the graaaauggggh?

Edit: I remembered one even more horrifying example, and that was some harry/tonks story (ho and the rotfang conspiracy? Smth like that), where they were fooling around and the author used onomatopoeia for the upcoming orgasm, and it was so something horrible like “aeiiaiiieaii”

 

Ugh, it's KRACKATHOOM, not krakboom. Maybe that's why they did it. You only really need one KRACKATHOOM, and if you misspell it, it's just weak?

And you are correct, just one "Arrgghhh!" is more than enough. No "Graaauugghh!" is needed.

 

"AO3 tagging system is wonderful, because you can find precisely what you want to"

Which is why, if I filter "No M/M stories with Harry Potter", first three stories it finds are Hermione/Draco, and there's also one Lucius/Draco Rape Angst fic.

For fucks' sake.

 

This doesn't count the thousands of stories that you've cut out due to all the ones that have exactly one M/M couple way off in the background, that has nothing whatsoever to do with the story... because not only does the author have to tag every ancillary character, they have to tag everyone's sexuality as well. There is no winning with the awesome Ao3 search function.

 

You can filter out those too, but you can't ever filter out bad stories. Really I just wish you could have default filters associated with your profile.

 

@Silirt even ignoring the fact that you'd have to occlude tens of pairings, you still can't tell the ao3 search engine "I only want Harry as a Main Character, not a relationship-less gay friend in this epic tale of romance between Lilith Moon and Neville Longbottom."

 

Still better than any other search features out there. If you'd prefer, there are endless reddit threads with some variation of 'Harry mc no slash' and people might have recommendations there, but my point was that no search is ever going to filter out bad stories.

 

I hate the search and filter options with a passion. I don't have anything against relationships in fanfic, wether they are gay or straight. I just don't want fics focused on them. So of course you can't filter for that and you only find the slashiest angst fics were the male main character is pregnant and those weird alpha/omega tags.
At least I can stay clear of those and don't have to find out while reading....

 

Are those knot your cup of tea?


Man... looks like I can post to this thread again, without feeling like a necromancer.

How about Dwell vs Delve confusion? People seem to mix those two up even more when they're in the past tense.
The worst is when they somehow split the difference and write "dwelve."

FLOOR
If the characters are outside somewhere, unless you elaborate "The ocean floor," "The floor of the cave/The cave floor," or even "The forest floor," then it's THE GROUND. A floor is, generally speaking, something that is both indoors and artificial. It never ceases to annoy me when I read about someone dropping something to the floor or being knocked down onto the floor, when they're out in the friggin' great, grassy, somewhere.
They could be knocked to the dirt, the ground, the grass, the rocks, the pavement, the concrete, the tarmac, the sand, the ice, the snow, the earth, the mud... Just about anything but the floor. Did the author forget where the scene was taking place, or what?
Maybe it's a British vs American English thing, and I'm just not aware of it.

Was Xena: Warrior Princess in the bed with them, or was Tonks just morphed into her?

 

I have a seething hatred for usage of the word "scar" to mean "fresh wound that is still bleeding". Normally it's a big wound, so likely to scar in the future, but until the wound is healed, it's not yet become a scar.

This one I actually lay blame for on JKR, because of the mentions of Harry's scar bleeding, which... normal scars don't do, and I assume a generation of kids just grew up assuming Harry had an unhealed wound on his head until he was 17.



Ao3 tags are upsetting, but at the same time, a useful side-filter. An author who tags every single relationship and character in the entire story is less likely, based on wildcard searches I've done, to be one I'd enjoy.

There's always a chance, I'm not saying I would hate any fic from them, but it helps narrow the choice down a lot.

Personally, I use a search of "50,000+ words, updated in last 60 days, sorted by kudos". Exclude options come in handy, and if the author is choosing to add a tag for a background relationship, then I guess I'm just going to miss it.

 

Probably mentioned before--probably a thousand times before--but for me, lately, it's noble wizarding houses, and the other one is occlumency shields.

 

I've grown to dislike stories that have Harry be great at magic in general but unable to keep up with even schoolwork in select weaknesses. Something about this just pisses me off (maybe because it feels arbitrary? Manufactured conflict?).

I don't mind if Harry is not the greatest at magic, or if he is only at his classes' level / slightly better in subjects and great at one.

 

Wouldn't that happen though? Not telling you to like what you don't like, but in most of the stories that I've read that seem to have this trope it's because he doesn't care about Potions because Snape isn't helping him or he doesn't care about Divination because it doesn't do him any good. I think a lot of the conflict stems from the author being unable to imagine how certain things are practical, which is annoying; it does the universe a disservice.

 

In the stories I am thinking of, it is not a question of caring about the subject, he is just plainly not good, regardless of effort. That's what puts me off.

 

You see this in time travel. Usually adult Harry can't keep up with Hermione's course work.

 

Shields just don't make sense lol.

Voldemort using legilimency on Snape and CRASHES INTO HIS OCCLUMENCY shields. Hmm. You'd think he'd think Snape is hiding something, and might be inclined to perform violence.

 

Tbf to Occlumency shields, I don’t think I ever saw them in a story without there being other versions of hiding your memories, such as Snape showing unimportant ones and hiding crucial information.

I also dislike noble houses, but specifically if Harry is part/the head of one because it’s usually indicative of the role they will play in the story. Whereas stories in which Harry is only a commoner (whether the story centres around him or not) have noble houses be more in the background and are much more likely to be used as a worldbuilding element and a plot device that does not simply wank the main character until infinity and beyond.

 

Man. I envy your preternatural ability to avoid shit fics

 

Self-censoring.

i've come across it in YT videos and memes, but it truly surprised me - and completely broke my immersion - when authors self-censored their stories, like "r*pe", "k*ll", "f*ck", and "s*x".

it's truly horrible when you're reading a story and there's something like.

what even