'Pranks' in HP fanfiction are one of the most obnoxiously overused and poorly presented clichés in the fandom, and 9 times out of 10 I'll exit a fic that uses 'prankster' as a trite descriptive term for any character.

"The prankster twins..."

"They won the prank war, of course."

"Mulciber pranked Mary Macdonald and Snape did not care; what if he had pranked Lily instead?"

"Will Umbridge be able to handle Kim's pranks?"

"Harry is living life the way Sirius would have. i.e, pranking, joking, breaking rules, and flirting. So what happens when he and three friends go back to the marauders era? A prank war of course."

"Gotta go, Pup. The Order just scrambled like a kicked over wasp's nest. Time to go pranking!"

""You were a prankster, Professor!" said the twins and Lee, mouths open in obvious shock.

Harry looked between Sirius and Lupin and grinned ear to ear.

"Remember your idols?” said Harry

“Yeah, the Marauders.” said Fred.

“Greatest pranksters ever.” said George."

...and then there are all the times when Fred and George feel obligated to prostrate themselves for the Marauders, Masters of All Inexplicable Yet Legendary Pranks.

 

Pranking is essentially bullying that everyone's supposed to laugh at. I don't mind seeing it in fics where it's depicted in the true spirit of the thing: malice.

 

The only time it's not malice is when it's indiscriminate. On everyone or a large random group just for the lulz.

 

I think that's a bit harsh. Pranks can be used to bully someone, but in and of themselves are not particularly nefarious. Bullying is about targeted victimisation, if a prank does that then it's bullying, but not all pranking is targeted, and not all pranking victimises the target.

What annoys me about the 'pranks' seen in fanfiction is just how amazingly complicated or powerful they are.

Like all those pranks where student's clothes change into something mildly humorous and they sing some completely hilariously fitting muggle song while doing a stupid dance. Sorry, but the only thing that could do something like that is an Imperius Curse. I don't think a complete loss of free will is any kind of laughing matter.

Oh, and most of the pranks we see are extremely degrading or embarassing, just how many characters in fanfiction have their clothes disappear in front of hundreds of people? Just how many characters have been compelled by love potions to furiously snog someone they hate?

Don't get me started on love potions.

 

Especially when it's first year students doing it... a muggle-raised first year.

They should have a tough time performing a 'wet willie,' let alone some super elaborate prank that involves high level charms and/or transfiguration that somehow affects the entire school.

The closest any student should be able to get to that is something that could be implemented as a potion in the drinks at a meal (of course, the same kind of people who think one potion could do all of that stuff at once probably also think exploding boil removing potion can cause time travel), and I have a hard time believing the elves would truck with that nonsense.

Even if one particularly devoted elf (Dobby helping Harry, for instance) tried to aid the prankster, the others probably wouldn't appreciate it, and would try to put the kibosh on it.

This shit gets pretty irritating, especially since it seems to be the specialty of mary-sue OCs.

Ninety-nine percent of the time, pranks in HP fan fiction are only appreciated by the author, who thinks it is both brilliantly devious, and comedy gold, which will surely be appreciated by their awed readers; in fact, they tend to be moronic and/or obvious, unfunny, and the only people that enjoy it are readers who share the author's mindset (immature and possessed of rather banal taste).

I won't argue on the loss of free will bit, but I feel I should point out that there are curses in HP canon that have effects like forcing the victim to dance, to babble uncontrollably... there's even a spell that forces your ears to twitch and books cursed so that you have to keep reading them.

The Imperius is far from being the only curse that forces you to do something, but it is the only one that is an Unforgivable. Presumably because it also tries to keep you from helping yourself or seeking help from others.

Yeah, it's hard to believe any teacher or administrator worth their salt would let that shit slide.

Of course, when it comes to justice, fairness, and the proper use of authority, the Hogwarts staff is abysmal.

You misspelled "rape potions." :mrgreen:

 

I always find love potions pretty interesting. Well, not just love potions -- all mind altering magic which the wizarding world seems to consider quite lightheartedly. Obliviation is handed out like candy, love potions are something to giggle over.

Now, clearly Amortentia is basically a rape potion. But that's the most powerful love potion there is. I imagine the average love potion is rather less dramatic in effect... perhaps creating a feeling of desire or just attracting attention.

Kinda like a magical push-up bra.

 

More than the fact that they define a character as a prankster, I find irritating that they refer everything related to them in joke terms. Like when they call a plot against an enemy or a deception a prank. Usually, everything related to the dark lord becomes "The greatest prank ever". It's pretty much the same as using chess references for Ron.

 

I've always viewed the key difference as whether or not the victim finds it funny as well within a reasonable short time frame.

What is the difference between indiscriminate pranking and just being a total asshole?

 

Well, what's the difference between being a prankster period and being an asshole?

 

Semantics.

 

Wtf you assholes. As with everything, pranking can be harmless and humorous or it can be malicious. Chill the fuck out and don't generalize.

 

Pfft, Jedi lies.

 

Peeves:

• Hordes of Death Eaters innumerable.

Seriously, how many fics have armies of death eaters and multiple large battles where tens or hundreds die in each one. Only for more to come out of the woodwork from somewhere (generally eastern europe for some reason) to replenish the inexhaustable armies of the Dark Lord. Before he takes over the Ministry I find it difficult to believe Voldemort could even field 50 Death Eaters. I'm pretty sure the fear comes from the fact that, thanks to magic, there is pretty much nowhere that is actually safe from them.
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• Voldemort getting killed by a Reducto

How boring is that? Surely if Voldemort is prone to being hit by Reductos then he obviously isn't much damaged by them. If a Reducto CAN kill the Dark Lord then surely he's got into the habit of not letting them hit him. He's been killing folks for decades, if someone getting the drop on him and firing a school yard spell at him would put him out of commission then I imagine we'd know about it.
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• Voldemort not getting killed by a Reducto

Stay with me here. Another thing that happens a lot is Voldemort just kinda shrugging off spells, ignoring them. This seems lazy to me, Voldemort is scary because he's an amazingly skilled and knowledgable wizard, not because his body is made of pure dragonhide. If a reducto actually hits him (for a good reason, not just 'because Harry fired a reducto') then make it do something.


NB: What does a Reducto actually do when it hits a person?
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• Animagus for the sake of it

When I see an animagus form I wonder where it's going. What the symbolism of the form is and it's possible ramifications in the plot. Sometimes forms get explained in vague terms (He's a gryffindor, therefore, lion[/griffon]) but usually it's just hand-waved. Then has no real ramifications on the plot. In many fics Harry achieves the form, goes for a run around and plays a prank on Sirius then... nothing. He goes back to whatever he was doing before.


I don't have a problem with magical animagi, as long as the ramifications have been thought out. A phoenix form is actually nicely symbolic of Harry's themes of love, self-sacrifice and rebirth. Unfortunately it also gives him almost unlimited mobility. Unless you don't give him phoenix abilties, in which case why even bother?
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• Not being an Animagus

I'm making a habit of this. What I mean is becoming an Animagus just seems so sensible. Three school kids worked it out in a few years, how hard can it be? If you're in a war it seems to me that any animagus form at all would be pretty useful. At the very least it gives you apparently unlimited access to Hogwarts. I choose to believe that non-'public facing' buildings can be warded against animagi, limiting it's usefulness to a certain extent, but it's still amazingly useful. If a bloke has time to devote to the job then it seems reasonable to do it. That doesn't mean it should be learnable in a month, no matter how hard you try.


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• Animagus in a fight

Ok, last animagus one. Unless you've given Harry a crazy powerful form (Dragon, Nundu, Basilisk, Quintaped etc) I'm pretty sure a bloke with a wand is more dangerous. A lion may be jolly scary, but a wand has all the power of an elephant gun and in a fight of elephant gun vs lion, gun wins every time. If, for some unknown reason, they've both lost their wands then I'm ok with this.

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• Power Creep

So Harry can apparate through anti-apparition/disapparition wards (jinxes, whatever). He's so cool! Oh, wait, this means it's impossible to actually put him in real peril because he can simply bugger off at a moment's notice. That's ok, Voldemort develops an UBER ward that can stop Harry. Then starts using it everywhere. What was the point?
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• Secritz because Drama!

Urgh, if there's one thing that mildly annoys me it's secrets being kept simply because it adds to drama potential. Like every time/dimensional-travel fic where Harry wakes up and immediately makes up a fake name then runs with it for entirely stupid reasons. I have to be quite general here cos it seems many fics have different stupid reasons. From angsty 'you're-not-my-real-parents-so-I-hate-you-and-won't-tell-you-my-name' reasons to the illogical 'Mustn't-mess-up-the-time-stream-because-not-changing-your-name-does-that' and back again to the angsty 'I'm-such-a-tortured-soul-I-don't-want-to-help-anyone-ever-and-if-they-knew-my-name-they'd-make-me'.

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• And the rest

Y'know, the old crowd. Slash, R/Hr, D/Hr, SS/Anyone, Voldemort/Anyone, Crap Spell Names, High-Noon in Hogwarts, Ineffectual!God!Harry, Nice!Snape, Soldier!Dobby, God!Dobby, Chess!Ron = Napoleon!Ron, Magical Lordships, Midas!Potters, Long Lost Vaults of Cash, Ragnok the Friendly Goblin, I'm Now Going To Be Thick To Advance The Plot, Battlelady!Molly, Slytherin The House Of The Wicked, Gryffindors Are All Awesome, Dark Arts Are A Concrete Thing, Dark Arts Are Just Misunderstood, The Killing Curse Was Used For Euthanasia, 'Light' Magic, 'Grey' Wizards, Voldemort's Gone Now Meet The Even Darker Lord Thingymabob!, Muggles Curbstomp Wizards, Angst, Grimdark...



I'm going to have to stop as I realise there's a lot more.


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Yeah, there are very few (read: no) fics that don't annoy me at least briefly, though good prose or humour can stop me from noticing.

 

You sir get a thumbs up for the size itself.

 

That's what she said . . . three thumbs up, as a matter of fact.

 

Getting vaguely irked by often irrelevant details is a gift of mine.

 

Now I really want to check if I've done any of those...

 

I guess the best pranking I've seen in fanfiction is in nonjon's trilogy.

 

Well thought out and nicely formatted. Thumbs up.

Ain't that the truth.


A long-standing peeve of mine that I don't think I've ever mentioned here before (eeetz a meeeracle!): Rewrites of fics that don't fix a damned thing.

So, you've decided that your story had too many spellings errors, too much awful grammar, and so on, so you're going to update the whole thing for the good of the world...

And, then you proceed to fix (maybe, maaaaybe) ten percent of what was originally wrong with your story. Nice job, champ! The biggest mistake you made with your story, back in the day, was not getting a competent second pair of eyes to proofread it for you; so, while you may be a tad older and wiser now, you've still got the same stupid set of eyes editing your work - and that's ignoring the known fact that even a brilliant writer misses their own mistakes sometimes because they're so familiar with the material in their head that they read what they're expecting to see, not the typo that's on the page. :facepalm

 

I'd like to point out that however much I agree with your point about rewriting the fics, I personally like to see notes about how the first chapters were redone at some later point, implying that the author is still fixing mistakes and trying to keep the quality up.


Then again, starting a new story to basically retell everything again... Fuck that.