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Pet Peeves v.8

Discussion in 'Fanfic Discussion' started by Dark Syaoran, Oct 20, 2013.

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  1. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    Probably. However, Marvolo sounds like a corruption of the French for 'marvelous,' merveilleux. And, as we all know, 'Voldemort' actually translates as a French phrase.

    I always thought it was amusing (and ironic on multiple levels) that Tom Marvolo Riddle sounded like the stage name of a muggle magician. Harry Blackstone Jr., The Great Harry Houdini, The Amazing Kreskin, Mysterion the Mind Reader, Tom "Marvolo" Riddle...

    Heh, is that better or worse than Robert Jordan's method, complete lack of communication for the sake of drama?

    And, now, insanity...
    Doused/Dosed: Which we're forced to endure, constantly, because of the prevalence of potions and poisons in Harry Potter fic. Unless Ginny is dunking Harry in an entire vat of Amortentia, 'doused' is not the word you're looking for... It's hard to covertly douse someone in a potion, unless you slip an odorless, tasteless, colorless, liquid into a bucket, then 'accidentally' catch your target with what looks like an innocent though obnoxious iteration of the bucket over the door prank. Oh, god... I've just enabled someone's potion-based plot, haven't I?

    Admiringly/Admirably: It's not hard to spot the difference. Don't be lazy.

    Willingly/Willfully: Come on, people, these words are almost diametrically opposed!

    "in route"/"en route": *sigh* Using the first is probably going to result in a sentence fragment, or just plain won't make sense. The second is a French phrase. Blame it on the Frankish invaders, blame it on the thieving nature of the modern English language... I don't care, just use the second one.

    EDIT: "Also, "on route" isn't really a thing, either.

    Query/Quarry: Let's see... A query is a question. A quarry is either a source/excavation site or something that is pursued. A query quarry is the place you go to dig up an answer, a quarry query is a question you have about an excavation or what you're pursuing. And, mistaking one word for the other is a bad thing; so, if you have a query/quarry quandary queering your quest, quickly consult that quarry of content, the dictionary, with your query.

    Prosecution/Persecution: In my dreams, I'd like to be able do the former to people who perpetuate this error, but I'd settle for the latter. Prosecution is a legal matter. Persecution is, generally speaking, more a social matter. Attorneys prosecute you, your peers persecute you... unless they're in a jury box; then, you're fucked.

    Trashing/Thrashing: This mistake shows up constantly in Harry Potter fan fic because of the massive number of stories with scenes that focus on either sex or torture/pain... or both. I can guarantee you that you do NOT want your lover 'trashing' in your bed. What the actual fuck? Do not do this.

    Or, are they throwing garbage around during their throes of ecstasy? Because, yeah, that's normal...

    Shuddering/Shuttering: If you're doing the first one, you may want to consider doing the second one to your windows. Shuddering is like shivering, and something a character might do it if they're disgusted or dreading something; it's often done on purpose to convey those feelings, whereas shivering is typically involuntary. Shuttering is what you do to windows, and it would be highly unlikely that you're NOT doing it on purpose. Eyes being the windows to the soul and all that, a person can metaphorically do this to their eyes.

    If your eyes are shuddering, get your ass to the ophthalmologist before you go blind.

    Discomforted/Discomfited: Argh. Okay, I get it... they sort of mean the same thing. Except, you should probably never need to write 'discomforted' because virtually any time a person would go to do so, they should actually be using 'discomfited.' In my mind, 'discomforted' isn't even really a word.

    "Your welcome."/"You're welcome.": Really? This arises, I imagine, for one of two reasons.

    1. You're a slack-jawed troglodyte who doesn't know the difference between "your" (possessive) and "you're," (you are) so you can hardly be expected to correctly place either of them into a sentence, and probably flipped a coin to decide which should go before "welcome."
    2. You've mastered the whole 'opposable thumbs' thing (despite virtually every spell checker telling you 'opposable' is not a word) and know the difference between "your" and "you're," but are still stuck on which goes in this phrase. Wonder no longer: It is "YOU ARE WELCOME" not "This is a welcome, it is the welcome that belongs to you, so it is 'your welcome,' your very own welcome, enjoy having ownership of your welcome."
    Dammed/Damned: One is what you do to stem a flow, the other is what happens when Hell is where you'll go.

    "If" versus "if not": This shit drives me nuts, because if you do it wrong, you will change the meaning of your sentence... usually to the exact opposite of what you mean.

    "The chips were good, if a bit too salty." In this example, the chips were good even though they were too salty. If = "even though" or "despite being".

    So, one could write out, "Our potions professor is knowledgeable, in spite of the fact that he is a flaming jackass."
    or
    "Our potions professor is knowledgeable, even though he is a flaming jackass."
    or
    "Our potions professor is knowledgeable, but he is a flaming jackass."
    or
    "Our potions professor is knowledgeable, despite the fact that he is a flaming jackass."
    or simply write...
    "Our potions professor is knowledgeable, if a flaming jackass."

    It shouldn't be hard to figure out that adding "not" after "if" makes it so you're actually saying the opposite, which in this case would be, "Our potions professor is knowledgeable, even though he is most definitely NOT a flaming jackass, and how dare anyone even suggest such a thing (he's right behind me, isn't he?)!"

    "Kukuku": Okay, I don't know how normal this onomatopoeia for laughter is in Japan (that is to say if anyone sounds remotely like this when they laugh in real life - if it's supposed to represent normal laughter or some psychotic noise that only crazy people make in lieu of laughter), but using it in a fic, in a character's dialog (not the narrative?!), to show they are laughing, is beyond idiotic. Especially considering the fic I saw it in was not an anime crossover, and neither the author, nor the character in question, were Japanese. That's right up there with including "sweat-dropping" and "cross-popping veins" in a vanilla Harry Potter fic. Please, do not do these things.

    Besides, I don't care how much you like manga, the only characters I've ever seen in manga that use this onomatopoeia when they laugh have been complete cunts. When you use this in a Harry Potter fic, you are also a complete cunt. The lesson here is, "Don't be a complete cunt."

    Curb/Kerb/Curve: A curb is what separates the cars on the street from the toes on your feet (or a limiter/restraint).
    Kerb is back-spelled berk words, er... it's "berk" spelled backwards. Also, it's the British way to spell Curb, because they are special snowflakes.
    A curve is not a straight line. Women are made of them... unless they are elder gods, in which case they are composed of some strange non-Euclidean geometry which breaks the mind just to witness... not unlike regular women, when you get right down to it.

    If you're "grading on a curve," you are a teacher (and, possibly, an asshole).
    If you are "grading on a curb/kerb," you are a road worker (and, possibly, an asshole) who needs to get his fucking machinery back in the street and off the fucking sidewalk! My taxes pay for this shit, and you're goddamn asleep at the switch! Are you on medication? It says right on the bottle, "Do not operate heavy machinery." Since when is a grader not heavy machinery? Son of a bitch... :facepalm

    Unless you are writing about employees of the Department of Transportation (or your regional equivalent) grading the surface of a road, you have no reason to ever -EVER- write the non-phrase "grading on a curb/kerb." Ever.

    "much less"/"let alone"/"to say nothing of":
    I'm beginning to wonder if anyone is capable of using these idioms correctly.

    Much less = much less. Duh!
    "I didn't think I'd be leaving the house today, much less ending up in an all-super-model orgy." In this example, the orgy isn't as likely as leaving the house; as such, it was MUCH LESS expected.

    In short, the thing that is the extreme (in this case the extreme is the less likely thing) goes AFTER the "much less." Simple, right?

    "Let alone" works the same way as "much less."
    "I don't have a minute to spare, let alone an entire day!"

    More extreme.

    "To say nothing of" is basically the same as the other two: The less likely/more extreme thing goes after the phrase. "Snape's hair and complexion were disgusting, to say nothing of his teeth."

    However, some people tend to use "to say nothing of" to just make an addition to whatever was mentioned before it. "Camping is a pain because of the bugs, to say nothing of the lack of electricity and indoor bathrooms." Those last two things aren't necessarily worse, just additional reasons that camping is a pain, which we don't really need to mention because we've already established camping is a pain because of the bugs.

    Generally speaking, though, the more extreme thing goes after "to say nothing of", just like "much less" and "let alone," such as in, "Camping is a pain because of the bugs, to say nothing of the horcrux-addled friends, and Snatchers who can locate you by your choice of perfume."
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2014
  2. afrojack

    afrojack Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Supposedly Voldemort translates to something like "Flight from/of Death."

    This confusion, IIRC, stems from the ambiguity or conflation of two cases that used to be more distinct (which is apparently the case in other Romantic languages as well). I'm no linguist though, so that's the best explanation you'll get from me.

    Though I suppose, "flight of death" could be read in the same sense as "flight from death."
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2014
  3. pidl

    pidl Groundskeeper

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    "Vol" can also be translated as "Theft"
     
  4. wordhammer

    wordhammer Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    I have this peeve-

    For sites like Archive of our Own and hpfanficarchive, perhaps dailydeviant and anywhere else that they allow open-ended tags, there should be a rule about not adding tags for things you might do in the story later on, even though you've posted barely 10,000 words.

    Example:

    A promising distraction of smut- nothing amazing, but it might be worth a look.

    So, they're just getting into it. Okay. Seems like others like where they're headed...

    :facepalm

    Pointless peeve, I know, but shouldn't the story actually contain the tagged material before you're allowed to add the tag?
     
  5. Krieger

    Krieger Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    One of my peeves. Generally if a pairing is listed, my hopes for the story goes down. Not because I don't like what pairing it is, I don't care about pairings at all, but when half of a summary is taken up with pairings, I'm betting that will be a fic I won't finish reading.

    I have a similar aversion to bashing now. If you list something in your story as bashing, my hopes go down the same way as if you listed half your summary as pairings. Having a bashing tag usually means I am going to find irrational hate for a character/characters that isn't justified in a reasonably manner at all.

    Slash tags still fair warning though.
     
  6. Steelbadger

    Steelbadger Death Eater

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    It should be a law, punishable by a public tar and feathering, that all fics intending to have slash should have 'SLASH' in block caps at the start of the description. Ideally it would be a tag on ffn, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

    I hate it when the actual description sounds vaguely interesting, using a premise that isn't so common. Then they just drop in the slash pairings. I read those descriptions and my thoughts occasionally go: "Oh, now this is an interesting premise, and it's a decent length. How did I not see th - 'HP/DM/SS/TR - SLASH - MPREG' - Awww, HELL NO"

    Sure, this law might cause me to miss out on the occasional fic without terrible 'Two guys I think are hot, lets make them have sex for twice the hotness' slash. I think I've seen one readable fic where Sirius/Remus seemed to have a thing going on, but it was never centre stage. Just a kinda offhand 'I have two dads' throwaway. That's a sacrifice I'll have to make.

    To be honest, a more complete solution might be requesting all authors to fill out a questionnaire berfore they can post. The questions would go something along the lines of:

    1: Severus Snape is a poor, damaged, misunderstood individual who just wants to be loved. TRUE FALSE.
    2: Albus Dumbledore is an evil and manipulative wizard intent on achieving the 'Greater Good'. TRUE FALSE.
    3: Molly Weasley is a morally degenerate harridan who is intent on stealing Harry Potter's vast wealth for the Weasley clan by making him marry Ginny. TRUE FALSE
    4: Draco Malfoy is a damaged, misunderstood, misguided individual who just needs to be shown love. TRUE FALSE
    5: Hermione Granger obviously holds a candle for Draco Malfoy. TRUE FALSE
    6: Love and Hate are two sides of the same coin. TRUE FALSE

    Etc, etc. If the author answers true to any of the above questions then all of their stories get marked 'NOPE!' and can be filtered out.

    This is number 5 on my list of things to do when I become Overlord of Earth.
     
  7. mknote

    mknote 1/3 of the Note Bros. DLP Supporter

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    Thank you Jeebus! I swear, I've seen Taure get this wrong before, and if a pretentious, pedantic, semantic-arguing asshat like him can get it wrong, what hope is there for humanity?
     
  8. wordhammer

    wordhammer Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    English used to look like this:

    Language is an evolving, mutating beastie. What's defined as right at this time may be considered stilted later and eventually be rendered 'quaint'.

    My hope for humanity is based upon the near-biological need for successive generations to make old people look dumb by comparison to themselves.
     
  9. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I dare you to find such an error.

    Hint: You won't be able to, because it doesn't exist.
     
  10. mknote

    mknote 1/3 of the Note Bros. DLP Supporter

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    I don't care enough to do more than a cursory search, but you're correct in that I didn't find a case of you doing that during said search. I'm still ~90% certain I've seen you do it, though, either on the forum or on IRC (the latter of which being sadly unprovable, of course).

    I did however find an instance of someone who is highly regarded as an author doing it. Namely Shezza:

    This shows the perhaps more salient point that I was going for, namely that this pet peeve is something that even talented writers can fall victim to.
     
  11. Steelbadger

    Steelbadger Death Eater

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    I'm all for languages not stagnating, but there's a rather fundamental difference between modification to account for a changing world and failing to understand the true meaning of a word/phrase before using it.

    Are you seriously trying to suggest that all those folk who mangle common turns of phrase are like some kind of grammatical x-men? They're the next stage in grammatical evolution!

    If that's the future I don't want in.

    (Also, I could care less, and I couldn't care less)
     
  12. 01asdf

    01asdf Muggle

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    Undoubtedly, without a doubt, truly, definitely, certainly and their synonyms.

    Used correctly or not, dropping one of these adverbs into every other sentence reads like a desperate attempt to fluff up the word count in some high school essay.

    Also "To say that yadda yadda is an understatement to say the least".
     
  13. mknote

    mknote 1/3 of the Note Bros. DLP Supporter

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    Another one that really annoys me. Unfortunately, this is one my dad (who rivals Taure and others on this board in regards to precision of language) can't get right, and it gets on my nerves.
     
  14. wordhammer

    wordhammer Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    Yes- the X-men of English: unwanted, ill-fitting and destined to change things for the worse. Their powers will give legitimacy to 'gonna', 'wanna', and 'spose' by use of their repetitive regeneration. The linguistic horrors of tomorrow are mangled creatures of a sort which you and I can't rightly conceive.

    I'm not saying that we shouldn't fight for the preservation of our world; just know that we will lose eventually- it's only natural.

    P.S.: loved the link, and I hadn't realized that 'hold down the fort' was a mutant as well. My God; they're everywhere.
     
  15. Tinder

    Tinder Seventh Year

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    "Firstname Middlename Lastname!"

    The whole shout someone's full name at them thing, usually at Harry... In canon I think Molly maybe does it once? Somehow it's become completely ubiquitous, not only in crapfics but in otherwise decent stories as well. God it's annoying.
     
  16. wordhammer

    wordhammer Dark Lord DLP Supporter

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    It's a trope well over a century old.

     
  17. Chilli

    Chilli Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Not to mention that about 80% of ffnet writers spell definitely as "defiantly".
     
  18. LittleChicago

    LittleChicago Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    When it comes to 'Could care/Couldn't care', I've always seen 'Could' as a shorthand - as in, "I could give a shit, but that would require far too much effort," or, "I could care less... but I don't."

    And yes, I've heard people say, "I could give a shit," while meaning that they obviously do not. In this way, it could be seen as a sarcastic comment.

    So, when saying, "I could care less," a person is actually saying, "I couldn't care less, and to add insult to injury, I will layer this with sarcasm, which is a lower form of humour, and therefore all you are worthy of receiving from me, as it takes less effort than inserting the extra syllable. Go fuck yourself."
     
  19. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

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    Ron bashing, to put it short.

    Ranging from calling Hermione a mudblood, being insanely jealous of Harry right from the start of the story, accepting money for being his 'friend', shunning Harry in his second year, betraying him and Hermione, becoming a Death Eater and so on.

    It just gets so fucking tiresome and predictable.

    I can understand that a character, Ron or whoever else is the target of ruthless bashing, can have flaws, but exacerbating them solely for the sole purpose of making some kind of villain out of them... I don't know, I honestly don't know how some people can write stuff like that, review it and say "Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Ron was obviously on the take from before the start of Hogwarts, the whole Weasley family was conspiring to take the money from his vault."

    Oh and speaking of vaults... vaults in Gringotts which contain ancient and forgotten knowledge, portraits of either Potter ancestors or the Hogwarts Founders, who then proceed to bequeath their eternal wisdom unto those who spot them first, is another thing that I detest.
     
  20. pidl

    pidl Groundskeeper

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    Which is always Harry, disregarding the fact that the vault would have belonged to James before that and his parents before that. Unless the goblins use an 'inheritance potion' to see which vaults belong to Harry, which is actually the same as admitting they are too retarded to manage some paperwork.

    Another pet peeve:
    Badly written smut. I remember a fic where Fleur was glad that "due to her Veela heritage her clit always remained as tight as when she was a virgin.":facepalm
     
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