Ah. At first I thought this was a joke but then went back and read the post. It actually meant HARRY finds the mirror and sees Snape and Lily. I thought it said Snape finds it. My bad.

Yeah that's pretty fucked up and disgusting.

 

Instant sudoku. Or write up a time-travel story about going back to the Marauder era and killing both Lily and Snape, the former for her poor choices and the latter... it's Snape, I don't need to have a reason.

 

Character nicknames. They are nearly always awful.

For Hermione we have Herms, Hermy, Mione, and Mia. Of those only Mia is tolerable (and not by much!). 'Har' for Harry and 'Dray' for Draco Malfoy also make me want to insert a knife into my ear. Commonly the author who uses them inserts them into everything.

 

This one is actually cringe worthy. "Hm... well Harry NEEDS a nick name... what can I shorten this into...".

I don't mind Mione but perhaps that's because it's everywhere and I'm used to it now. Most of them are just ridiculous though yeah. They seem to come out from a NEED to have nicknames rather than because it fits.

Hermy is gag worthy too.

 

On that note, how do people pronounce Mia?

Me-a or My-a?

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Hermy and Herms should only be used in parody.

 

Me-uh.

My-uh would be if it were spelled Maya, Maia, or something along those lines.

Also, whenever I read Hermy I automatically add an 's' to the end of it to make it Hermes, and thus it becomes somewhat more amusing, to read about Hermione being referred to as a male greek god, who, among other things, had sex with a lot of people and stole shit.

Basically she's being referred to as Wastelands!Harry - which amuses me a great deal, now that I think about it.

 

Ín Brazil, in the third book, everytime would talk about Hermione they ony called her Mione. And they never called her that in the first and secoond, and after the third no mention to that nickname was made again.

I hated that nickname with all my strength, and here it's even worse, because it's pronunciation it's almost identical to instant noodles.

 

It's truly sinister.

 

Agreed with the nicknames, unless they are meant to be derogatory or annoying in-story (like Malfoy saying Wormy Hermy or something and getting permanently maimed for it). Especially Siri - that one's popped up in the last few years because of the talking phone and makes me rage because I associate it with selfie-snapping bar skanks that speak in abbreviations.

It goes the other way too though, deciding that a character's full name is something random or different grates on me just as much. However this isn't as common in newer fics, and you usually already know a story is terrible before they start referring to Thompson Riddle and Draconicus Malfoy and shit.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure JKR having Harry look like James in miniature from the get-go had to at least be partially to strike down the Snape-paternity theories before they could start. Gross.

 

That's a pretty good summary for anything involving Snape and reproduction.

 

But Snape is so sexy, all women and girls know that just look at the atributes Rowlings gave him:

Severus Snape was a thin man with sallow skin, a large, hooked nose and yellow, uneven teeth. He usually dressed in flowing black robes which made him resemble "an overgrown bat". He had shoulder-length, greasy black hair which framed his face in curtains, curling lips and dark, penetrating eyes that resembled tunnels.

The younger Snape had a "stringy, pallid look", being "round-shouldered yet angular" and with a "twitchy" walk "that recalled a spider", as well as "long oily hair that jumped about his face."

Doesn't this sound dreamy, like someone you would date?

(Yuck, almost threw up writing this)

 

Only women understand.

 

a.k.a. Trent Reznor.

 

Relevant image:

 

I laughed pretty hard.

 

What JKR thinks:

 

Pet peeve: using tWoT's Flame and the Void to find their magic. It's a mechanic of the universe in tWot for it to be a method of access to the One Power, but it's use out side of that is clearing your mind. That's far more useful to Harry. I'd have loved to read a fic that didn't have him "Locating his MAGIC!" with the Flame and the Void, but instead used it just for clearing his thoughts.

 

...The tWoT? The Void? Am I just forgetting something? Because I have no idea what those two are referring too.

 

Guessing The Wheel of Time, which I've never read.

 

It is. The Wheel of Time has a method for focus and concentration. The men call it "The flame and the void," and the way it works is the user focuses all feelings and emotions int the flame, and all that remains is void. Outside the void is their power, which they can draw on and channel they are unable to reliably channel the power without the void.

In fanfiction it's a quick and easy way of playing the magical core/windless magic card- never mind that in-universe it takes years to learn to channel without danger.