I feel you on this one, because if it's one thing that ruins good fics faster than anything else, it's villains picking up the Idiot Ball.

However, Devil's advocate...

Umbridge, in canon, is shown to be petty, imprudent, and more than a little out of touch with reality.

She's not stupid, as in, dim - I mean, her plan to set Dementors on Harry was moderately bright. If it works, he dies, if it doesn't work, he gets hauled in for using magic. Decent plan. She conducts the Ministry's influence campaign decently - she makes Hagrid look stupid, she sets up the Inquisitorial Squad (a clever move getting students on her side), and she sets up restrictive rules and then uses the fallout to impose even more restrictive rules.

But she also conducts herself with an appearance and attitude that make it clear that she has a distorted view of reality. She also dumps a bucket of Veritaserum in Harry's tea really obviously and acts like she just pulled off a brilliantly subtle move. Then she (almost) uses an Unforgivable in front of like, 10 kids. Also, the way she handles Fred and George (the fireworks are what's standing out in my mind, but there are other examples) is so heavy-handed it borders on cartoonish, and is a pretty stupid way to handle student rebellion if she knew anything about teenagers.

So, I see your point, but it's not like fanfic authors that portray her as a Darkwing Duck-level villain are pulling it out of nowhere.

 

This is the nature of fanfiction. Characters are reduced to one or two primary personality traits which are then demonstrated by reciting canon almost word for word in every conversation. For example:

Really, in much of fanfiction these snippets are basically reused every time the character is needed in a scene. Oh, Snape is in Dumbledore's office for the talk between Harry and Dumbledore concerning his soul bond/insert plot device here. Just have Snape cut across Harry periodically with some variant on this line and hey! Instant Drama!

 

Just this by itself is annoying, if only because half the time it pops up, it features Dumbledore as some weird Dr. Phil-like teacher-student mediator. It undermines Snape's rightful authority as a member of staff, for one.

I don't know about you guys, but the Head wouldn't dream of doing that at my school. Nor did any staff members openly criticise other teachers (or even allow students the opportunity to do so) until at least Sixth Form, which wasn't long ago at all.

Not to mention these books are set in the nineties... except for the fics which are set in the 2000s so Harry can fiddle with his iPod to make it work at Hogwarts.

 

I keep encountering this shit. C&G cracking their knuckles, I mean. It's... tedious. I have no idea why anyone would be intimidated by them. I mean, you have magic, hex their arms off or make them eat their own eyeballs.

 

Maybe it's just a bad habit? When you do a lot with your hands, joints will tend to trap a lot of synovial fluid. Crabbe and Goyle might make their pocket money on the Gobstones table, for all we know.

I get your point, though.

 

I think C&G did it maybe once in canon.

 

Yes, but we're talking about fanfics here.

 

For a change, here's a pet peeve I've got for people who comment on / review fanfiction.

Leaving, as a positive comment, some variation of the phrase, "the spelling and grammar were excellent."

I mean... come on. I get that fanfiction has low standards, but praising a written work by saying it was mostly free of spelling/grammar mistakes is like praising a movie by saying "the actors were clearly visible" or "the sound was perfectly synched up with the picture."

By all means, if a story has TERRIBLE spelling or grammar, call it out as a negative. But you really shouldn't have to mention that a story does the most basic things correctly - that should just be the tacit assumption.

 

On a similar note. I hate reviews when someone copies text from the fic just to add; "Hey this was great." or some other inane BS.

 

Actually, I'm not opposed to that. It shows which parts worked and if they had the intended impact. If I spent hours writing a kick-ass fight scene, I'm happy to learn that it did exactly what I wanted it to do.

Feedback like that can be inane, of course, but more often than not I find it to be a helpful indicator.

 

Lots of the stuff on FFN is riddled with grammar and spelling mistakes, no matter, whether they're a native speaker or not, so it's a noteworthy exception, when it isn't.

 

You misunderstood me. What I dislike is when people copy the text but don't have anything constructive to say.

 

I think guest reviews are a really terrible thing. Let's say you get a good one, and it's obvious that talking with that person might help you in some way, or you just plain want to talk with someone who's seen your fic in some particular light, but it being a guest review, you can't respond back to them.

 

One would think that if your going to review you'd at least want a profile so you can follow the fanfics.

 

I've been logged out before and cba to log back in to review a chapter I've read. Usually don't though.

 

Feeling the need to introduce married characters for no reason with their maiden name.

"Harry Potter and his wife, Hermione Potter nee Granger."

Don't know what it is but I cringe and it frustrates me to no end seeing it written like that. Maybe because there is no need to introduce her like that? I could understand it if it was really relevant to the plot to include the "nee [name]" but it nearly never is.

 

Other then heavily political fics, or stories set in the fucking middle ages, is there any reason to mention the charaters maiden name? Seems like it's just a lazy way for next-gen fics to show who got married off to who.

 

^ No. People evidently just want to use "nee."

 

Damn those French...

 

Are these people Knights or a certain order?