You know, reading about that kind of Lockhart could be interesting. Especially if his personality stays the same.

Already used in several fanfics.

 

Less a fully fledged plot bunny and more a point of divergence.

Harry's tempted by the Sorting Hat's talk of greatness but refuses to be put into Slytherin. The Hat compromises and sends him to Hufflepuff. The story starts in media res (am I using that right?) the summer before Harry's fourth year. His placement in Hufflepuff will have changed his adventures and school experiences slightly giving us a different Harry.

 

Stubby Boardman really was Sirius Black. Luna's mother and father had seen him play live on their first date. He was a horrible singer, more like a barking dog than an artist, but his skill with the guitar was second to none. Unfortunately, not many people enjoy outdoor concerts when a mad Dark Lord is on the loose, and Sirius has a few choice problems of his own.

 

"It was said by The Quibbler in 1995 that he was in fact Sirius Black in disguise, based on the word of Purkiss, who claimed that she was having a romantic dinner with him on the night he supposedly murdered Peter Pettigrew and twelve Muggles."

Seems we might have more changes than previously thought.

 

Crack idea: Dobby behaving like Consuela.

"Dumble-dory sir we no have lemon pledge!"
'My dear Dobby, can't you just use the regular?'
"Noooo."

 

Lucius would have killed him a long time ago if that was the case.

 

And now is the moment for a time travel idea, a little inspired by Taure's future thread.

*

Almost a thousand years have passed since Harry Potter finally defeated Lord Voldemort.

The Muggles have long since abandoned Earth for the stars and the magical society was very happy because of it. They even went as far as casting the most powerful muggle-repelling charm in history and covered the entire planet in it, to make sure the muggles never returned.

Decades passed, then centuries and the muggles indeed never returned.

The wizarding societies now had the entire world to themselves and started changing it accordingly to their whims.

The population slowly rose, cities and towns were built. More schools of magic were opened. Goblins carved out an entire country for themselves, banning humans from entering.

The Earth has truly now become a magical world.

Harry Potter's tale became a legend, no longer fully believed to have actually happened. It has changed over time with some details swapped for others. It is now told to children as a bedtime story.

But one person fully believes it to be true. Andros Creevey, from the Most Ancient and Noble Creevey Family, believes the Tale of The Chosen One to be true.

Creevey claims to be descended from one Dennis Creevey, who supposedly fought in the now-legendary Battle of Hogwarts in Harry Potter's army.

To prove his claims, Andros decides to travel back in time to Harry Potter's age, make several pictures with his magical camera (family heirloom) and return to the present.

There's a problem, though. Ever since the 25th century, time travel has been a capital offense in all wizarding nations on Earth.

But Andros was sorted to Slytherin (as was his entire family for generations) and is not to be stopped by such trivialities as the law.

He conspires with several of his friends and together they devise a ritual that will send Creevey back to the ancient 20th century. Exact dates of Harry Potter's achievements are unknown, but they are believe to have happened around 1980-1990s.

Even if Andros gets the date wrong by one or two years, it is of no consequence as wizards tend to live long and he'll just have more time to observe the Legend that is the Chosen One before using his magical Anchor to return to the present.

The ritual is done and Lord Andros Creevey is transported through time, ready to witness the Battle of Hogwarts.

He lands in late May of the year 1992, with incomplete, ridiculously misinterpreted knowledge about Harry's life. And he finds that his magical time anchor is broken, he's stuck in the past.

"Well," he thinks to himself, "I guess I'll make the most of it". And he applies for the position of the teacher of Defense Against the Dark Arts. That won't change a thing, after all. Whoever heard of Defense Professors influencing the Legend of Harry Potter? That's just preposterous!

Gilderoy Lockhart just shrugs and moves on to another project to boost his fame while Andros takes his position.

He is most surprised when Harry Potter is still just a small boy, who somehow managed to crash an ancient muggle 'car' into a tree.

Meanwhile Harry (and everyone else) thinks that their new teacher is very, very odd.

 

That sounds immeasurably cool. Someone, please write this!

 

Not sure ever been mentioned or done, Harry goes back in time/different dimension because reasons and becomes Snape. No Snape/Lily friendship or romance. Makes sure Voldemort is not near Potters family during that fateful day and the story goes off canon rails from here on out

 

Sounds weird AF, bro.

I'd probably read it.

 

You got it all wrong. That's actually the only valid explanation for Snape's infuriation with Lily... and her returning the feelings.

 

I'd add the oblivious - Bellatrix Lestrange as Fairy Godmother (Cinderella).

 

Might as well post this here. More info at the bottom.

---------

Neville smiled seeing his friends arrive.

"Hermione, Justin. It's so nice you could come. I know that you're very busy in the Ministry..."

Hermione smiled back. "Neville, I wouldn't miss it for the world, it's big news. And you're right, we're doing our best, but proposing a new law and actually putting it in writing are two very different things."

"Hermione insists that we cross check with all existing laws to make sure that there aren't any mistakes," said Justin, beaming with pride. "Although I keep telling her that we could delegate some of the more mundane paperwork... Merlin knows we've got applicants banging on our doors..."

"And risk one of those applicants muck things up?" Hermione interrupted. "I'd rather do it myself, even if it takes a bit more time. And what do you mean by mundane paperwork, anyway? Every line of that document is equally important!"

"Wrackspurts must be getting to you," said Luna.

"Thank you! That's exactly what I'm talking about."

"Er, she meant you, Hermione," Neville corrected.

Anticipating a potential disaster, Justin changed the subject.

"So who else is coming?"

"Well, Dean, Seamus and Susan are on their way," said Neville.

Justin pulled him to the side.

"Are they still... you know... all together?"

Neville's face reddened. He was never quite comfortable talking about those things. Susan's polygamous ways had caused a spectacular scandal a few years back, especially since Rita's article was published in the middle of Amelia Bones' reelection campaign. In retaliation, Harry and Ron were prepared to stuff the ballot boxes to ensure Amelia's victory. Fortunately, Hermione talked them out of it, pointing out that there weren't even sixty thousand voters in Wizarding Britain. Harry had been disappointed. He'd had great plans for his newly opened printing house. In the end, he gave it to Luna. The Quibbler had expanded since.

Hermione had been too late, however, to stop Fred and George from stuffing the ballot boxes in Harry's favor, who, they thought, had some great ideas for running the country.

"If I was the Minister for Magic, I would overturn the Malfoys' patent from seventeen-eighty-two," he declared loudly on his seventeenth birthday. "Because, y'know, maybe other people want to try platinum hair. And while we're on the topic of Malfoys, I would ban snake-head canes. Those things are creepy and hideous. Besides, everyone knows that a lion-head cane would be much more better."

Aurors had to intervene when a small riot erupted on the High Street in Hogsmeade after Justin claimed that a honey badger was clearly a superior cane ornament.

Harry won the election, but since all the votes he received were fraudulent, Amelia Bones, stayed on as Minister.

Neville loosened his collar a bit.

"Um, yes," he said. "They're living together now, I think. In London. Anyway, Blaise is supposed to be getting a portkey from Italy right about now," he continued, glancing at his watch. "Ginny and Astoria said they we're coming too."

"Any word from Harry and Ron?"

"Not a whisper. I suppose they're still in Africa..."

"Assuming they're still alive," a new voice joined in.

Heads turned to Blaise, who strolled in, clad in latest fashion and wearing sunglasses.

"What's this great secret you want to share? And where's the alcohol?" he asked, making his way among the crowded tables of the Three Broomsticks.

Hermione glared at him, outraged.

"Blaise! There are students here!" she hissed. Blaise removed his sunglasses with a florish and tried to make eye contact with every female student that looked seventeen or close enough that he didn't care.

Blaise was kind of a pervert.

Shortly, everyone save for Harry and Ron gathered in a private room on the top floor. The guests sat around the table, while Neville raised a glass of champagne.

"First of all, I'd like to thank all of you for coming. I know that some had to cancel other plans and it means a lot to have all our friends here-"

The speech was interrupted by the window flying open. The shelves rattled, the window slammed shut and finally two broom riders dispelled their Disillusionment Charms.

Hermione looked at them disapprovingly.

"Couldn't you use the door?"

"Hey," Harry said. "We've been gone for three months and the first thing out of your mouth is a complaint?"

"How'd it go?" asked Blaise. "And what were you doing again?"

"A clan of kiddy necromancers," said Ron. "Well, they were amateurs until we found out about their boss."

"A shaman from Peru. Bloke had a tree branch for a hand and I swear he was smoking something," Harry added. "It worked though. They must have had at least ten thousand inferi."

Hermione was skeptical. "Where in Africa would a clan of Dark wizards hide ten thousand inferi? Honestly, boys..."

"Underground," said Harry, grinning. "And it's not like they magicked up that legion overnight. I know a thing or two about Dark wizards. They're a crafty lot."

"I'm guessing you decided to cut all of them down by yourselves?" Blaise interjected lazily. "It probably wouldn't have taken you three months if you'd brought a few more people along."

"But then we'd have to share the bounty," said Ron.

"And fame," added Harry. "We're going to soar up in Hit-wizard rankings."

"As if your egos needed to be inflated further," Hermione said. "The only other person I know who cares so much about their reputation is Malfoy."

"That's not fair," Ron said. "Malfoy is an idiot who fails at anything he touches."

"Except making mountains of money in the potions business," Justin pointed out.

"Well, yes, except that," Ron agreed, shrugging.

Ron never saw potion-making as a legitimate profession.

--------------------
The above is an excerpt from a planned crack bunny that never got written. It's half of the scene I have written. I could post it tomorrow if anyone wants to see it. It's getting late and I have class early. Mondays.

The idea was to have a group of friends embark on an epic London pub crawl.

 

There's a verb missing here and a double post.

The passage itself is hilarious though, genuinely got real reactions from me.

 

Fixed. And blame double posts on my retarded phone. Glad you enjoyed it.

 

Have a Bunny:

Hermione isn't careful enough and the basilisk kills her.

Harry gets her note about pipes way too late and Ginny dies in the Chamber, allowing Riddle to return to full power.

The instant Riddle's body is complete, Voldemort's main soul piece is pulled all across the world and enters said body, while the actual Horcrux remains in the diary.

Lord Voldemort has returned. He stands in the Chamber of Secrets, Ginny dead at his feet with the Diary nearby.

Naturally, he's happy to be back, but also angry at Lucius for being so careless with his Horcrux.

The Dark Lord seals the basiliks back in the chamber and then takes Ginny's wand and his diary and leaves Hogwarts.

Meanwhile, Harry has seen a truly terrible vision. For when Riddle's body was finally restored, Harry was able to temporarily see through Voldemort's eyes and saw him being transported all across the world into Hogwarts.

Harry sees the Chamber through Voldemort's eyes and then sees how the Dark Lord leaves it.

The boy is shocked at what he saw and immediately goes to McGonagall and contacts Dumbledore. It takes a while, but eventually Albus arrives and Harry explains to him what happened.

Harry is able to take Dumbledore to the Chamber and they recover Ginny's body.

Minister Fudge meanwhile arrives with the Aurors. Dumbledore tells him that Voldemort has returned and Fudge has a hard time believing it.

They show the Aurors the Chamber and Fudge at least hears Harry out, eventually (but very reluctantly) accepting that Harry isn't lying.

While nobody notices, Lockhart escapes the school.

Ron and the other Weasleys are of course devastated by Ginny's loss, especially Ron who not only lost his sister but also one of his best friends.

Voldemort is at the time in Malfoy Manor and summons his Death Eaters to his side. Pettigrew arrives there as well, out of fear.

So that's the situation.

Ginny and Hermione are dead, Voldemort is back before Harry's third Hogwarts year and the Diary is still not destroyed.

But at least Fudge believes that Voldemort has returned, so there's that.

As for Sirius, he won't see Pettigrew in the paper, so he will have no reason to escape. Unless Voldemort breaks into Azkaban to free Bellatrix and other Death Eaters and Sirius escapes during the chaos.

 

Knowing Fudge, it's more believable that he'll blame the Chamber incident on Harry, who already has a bad reputation in Hogwarts as the supposed 'Heir of Slytherin'.

 

Canonically, these rumors ended once Hermione was petrified.

 

Maybe, but the precedent was created. And if Fudge could follow up Rita's GoF article about Harry being 'disturbed and dangerous' in his smearing campaign, he could easily use 'Potter is a Heir of Slytherin' angle.

 

Small plot bunny about Wormtail's search for Voldemort after POA. We know he found him in mere months but we have no information on how he knew where to start looking.
Alternatively: Small plot bunny about Sirius' whereabouts in GOF and staying ahead of the Auror department.