I'm down for a goblin massacre.

 

Crack fic I thought would be funny. A fictional Sound Cloud rapper a some fame is transported into Harry's body the first moment he touches his wand. From there we have an obnoxious and arrogant MC who knows way too much and way too little about Harry Potter. Mostly various scenes of Rapper Harry trying to make it big as the first wizard rapper and realest nigga alive. Inspired by RH telling various people at times they ain't shit and his constant wish for a magical gun.

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"You ain't shit. Yo fat ass son ain't shit. And yo ugly ass wife ain't shit."

The statement shocked the Dursleys. Almost as much as Harry jumping up and down on their couch as he said it.

"Boy I will..." Vernon started, only to be interrupted by an enraged 11 year old jumping in his face.

"Nigga you will what?!" Harry screamed inches from his face. "Cause yo fat ass can't even jog. Do you know who the fuck I am? I've got 2 million followers on the gram bitch. One tweet and I'll light yo ass up. Don't make me slap you upside that walrus looking head, you ol' stupid ass 400 lb elephant man looking bitch!"

The shock held Vernon for a moment. Every word in the tirade made no sense. The boy had no followers, he'd have noticed the freaks a mile away. He certainly had no idea what a tweet was, but he was sure the boy couldn't use any magic outside of that school. The only thing that clearly resonated with him did give him an idea though. He quickly backhanded the boy. Vernon's anger making him forget his strength as he sent the boy sailing across the living room. Harry slammed into the wall, but the look in his eyes gave Vernon pause.

"Oh you don fucked up now." Harry yelled at him. Springing up the boy pulled out his wand and waved it around. Vernon took a step back, unconsciously putting himself in front of Petunia and Dudley.

"Put that thing away in my house boy!" Vernon thundered.

"Oh you scared now huh?" Harry asked. "Well try this on for size, Expelliarmos!" The boy slashed his wand threateningly, looking confused when only sparks shot out. Vernon watched dumbfounded as he begin hitting the stick. Cursing and muttering to himself about how to get it to work. Emboldened Vernon charged the boy only to freeze as he heard him shout out Crucio, falling in tremendous pain. As he writhed on the ground he heard the boy laughing.

"Aww yea nigga didn't know I was with the shits, did you?" Harry half cackled as he held his uncle under the spell. Petunia and Dudley could only watch as he screamed. It was like a million hot needles had been stuck into every nerve in Vernon's body. Those five seconds were the worst in his life. He wanted to curl into a ball but his body was no longer under his control. Death was the only thing on his mind as sweet relief came in the form of vicious banging on the door. He saw the smithereens careen into the house as several fellows in red dresses rushed in. It was the last thing he would ever see.

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That's all I thought of so far, as this came to me five minutes before I wrote the post. RH does get out of it by blaming the muggys, as he calls them. From there the only other scene I've even considered is the ending. RH shoots Voldemort and his assorted Death Eaters at the fourth year ritual. He comes back and acts like nothing happened. Cedric never goes because RH doesn't share glory, he is glory. There will also be several impromptu raps. Also we never see things from RH's perspective. Just the unfortunate people around him.

 

Just reading your writing in this. You capture that crack tone in such a wonderful way. If you flesh this out, this has the chance to become a top fic in the fandom.

 

Here's an interesting AU: a world where the Ministry got its hands on the resurrection stone at some point in the past. They use it to resurrect victims to act as witnesses to their own murders, and also to resurrect criminals so as to serve out their sentences. "Death is no escape from justice". Unforgiveables carry a sentence "to life" (not "for life"): you will never be permitted to move on, but rather kept in the world of the living as an apparition, locked away within Azkaban for eternity.

Also brings whole new meaning to "Wanted Dead or Alive" -- it doesn't matter to the Ministry, because they'll imprison you either way.

 

But what would be the plot of this kind of story? Is this something that results in a situation the impacts the protagonist or is it the main focus of the story?

 

Could just be used for worldbuilding in a fic that's already AU without it.

 

Pettigrew can't use "fake your death tactic" because he would be found out?
Voldemort actually knows that the Hallows are real and hunts for them?

 

Voldemort would have no interest in the Hallows if he did know. Except the wand, which he did know existed but didn't care until his Yew wand was compromised.

 

@Donimo: I would think that with his fear of dying, the position of Master of Death would be alluring.

 

The master of death isn't a thing.

 

Seriously? Make Voldemort believe it's a thing. Make the thing itself a thing. Is using your imagination so difficult?

 

If we make the Deathly Hallows be true artifacts from a god we're beyond the scope of simple AU. It's also my impression from reading this that fanon was being mistaken as canon.

 

Make Voldemort believe they are a thing, not that they are true artefacts from god. You need to bump up your reading comprehension.

 

My compression is fine. MrBucket said that well after the original comment and response which was regarding Voldemort knowing about the Hallows and hunting them down.

 

It is a part of the legend. If he knows the artifacts are real, then he may think there is truth in the title too.

 

So what would it be? Complicated AU? Extra AU? AAU?

 

In the final FB sequel trailer, it is stated that the Wizarding World has been at peace with the Muggle world for a century. As Taure pointed out, that means some sort of magical Napoleonic Wars happened.

So a fanfiction that displays that war from it's start, to the end, a point where wizards have the ear of the leaders of muggle government and have infiltrated it to a large level.

The story would (obviously) be centered around an OC - a metamorphagus and champion duelist whose brother was killed trying to protect the local muggles from invaders. But more importantly, he is a wizard who has been working on a spell of great power, a memory charm, known in modern times as a spell with the incantation Obliviate.

 

So there are two things I've been thinking about which are more premises than a plot bunny true.

The first is inspired by a few things. I remember, before HBP had come out, when HP fanfiction was riding pretty high that there was much more crazy magic. Part of this is pure nostalgia for a time before I had any level of discernment, but I really wish that there were more stories that were able to bring to the fore new and exciting ramp ups for magic in general, even though it'd be difficult to do it without sacrificing a canon tone and diminishing all other types of magic. I'm thinking of things of like the old Elemental series, Joe's hero trilogy, The magus story and the other Order of the Phoenix - by ruskbyte, I think?

I've also been thinking about where a series has done this well, in a different context, and as always Pratchett has an example. The wizards in his series are more typical fantasy fare but go through quite significant evolution across the whole of the overarching progression. In his first novels, magic is this weighty thing, and he really plays up the viciousness of an academic environment where advancement only comes with assassination, whereas in the later books magic is rarely practised because '9 times in 10, a whack with 6 feet of oak will get the job done'. The transition between the two states comes in the form of a sourcerer, Coin. He's the eighth son of an eighth son and so magic flows into the world through him and all the wizards are much stronger while this is happening - power is plentiful.

Ginny is a year younger than Harry, born in August, a couple of month's before Harry's miraculous survival:

The premise would be that magic, throughout history, has had periods where all wizards were much stronger for a generation - or that there are discrete periods in history where, world-wide, wizards took a great leap forward becoming more magically powerful and remained there from there forward. Relative differences would be preserved - Dumbledore would still be far beyond other wizards, but every wizard and witches magic would have slowly, progressively, inexorably become stronger, dominating mundane laws more completely.

People would attribute this to Harry as the most significant event occurring at roughly the time magic started to rise, and roughly being the geographical location from where changes are spiralling out. Horcruxes would be able to spontaneously begin manifesting, war would be more dramatic, Goblin industry would undergo a revolution. You could introduce a host of changes there, and then you'd just have to build a compelling story about Harry and Voldemort in there, that's not too similar to canon with Michael Bay explosions.

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The other idea I've had is more contained and more a short story, but I wouldn't be sure how to go about writing it.

It would be the story about the tragic circumstances behind the discovery of the animagus transformation.

For this, the animagus transformation would be discovered much later than in canon, and the inventor's child's favourite story of babbity rabbit would be an inspiration for a magic that had never been done. The inventor would be a healer or unspeakable, and his daughter would have a terminal but un-prognosticable magical illness. She'd have an animal teddy bear which would presumably be his final form and patronus. As he progressed through his attempts to discover a method to preserve consciousness with transfiguration, he'd read her stories and agonise between using his time to save her and using his time to be with her before she dies. Ultimately, she'll die, he'll realise the time he spent with her wasn't forlorn and cast his first successful Patronus which will be key to the animagus transformation.

I'd want it to be a short story, with only one child, one parent, a sibling, and maybe a couple of co-workers and then trying to tease out the adult fear, and really see if I could tug your heart strings through good use of empty space. I'd want to write something similar in tone to that Percy Jackson fanfic 'Three' which deals with a very different subject but ultimately really ably conveys the sweet sadness of a joyous love that is finite and temporary.

 

I like settings which have diverged from seemingly-small Points of Departure into actually significant Alternate Universes.

For example: what if there were only 3 Hogwarts Houses instead of 4?

Let's say that once Slytherin leaves the school, the other Founders say "well, fuck that guy" and get rid of Slytherin House entirely.

The Sorting Hat would be modified to account for this, etc.

Now, you could go two ways with this:

1. The "True" AU in which the butterfly effect gets rid of everyone from canon and we end up with a present world full of OCs.

2. Assume some sort of "Destiny/Fate" which lets characters from canon still being born, but with different lives.

For the sake of fanfiction the second option works better.