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Plot Bunny Threa(t/d) III

Discussion in 'FanFic Discussion' started by Dark Minion, Feb 14, 2012.

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  1. nath1607

    nath1607 Groundskeeper

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    I believe it would flow better if the switches were different. I would presume Sasuke would end up in Harry's body, Naruto in Ron's and Sakura in Hermione's.

    This is because I see Sasuke resembling Harry more at this point, especially in the mood, home situation, feelings for remaining family and fame. I would imagine it would go as you rpedicted however someone would try and follow once he had left, presumably McGonagal or Dumbledore instead of Hagrid and as they woudl explain to a presumed clueless Harry about magic, aided by the fact the know nothing of him personality wise.

    Naruto!Ron (stealing your style) I find would make it quite interesting to read. Naruto has been alone the majority of his life and now he has a large loving family with people liek Fred and George who I imagine he would get along with. I see him while believing it was all real, questioning himself and not wanting to leave considering that he has now what he has wanted for a long time.

    Saukra!Hermione would probally go similar to what you predicted, as I imagine their homelives not to be vastly different so it wouldn't be as much a change, reversal?, as the others. I can see her going with the flow of things.
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2012
  2. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Parody fic that goes something like this:

    Harry Potter and Inheritance of Power​

    Invisible, Harry waited outside the doors to the Great Hall, preparing to make his big entrance. This was it. Finally, after a long summer of dreamscape training under Merlin himself, a summer of being hunted constantly by Dumbledore’s Order of the Phoenix, he would return to the wizarding world.

    He flexed his newly developed muscles, thinking about the summer. It had all began on the night of his sixteenth birthday. His magical maturity had occurred, the sheer power of it bursting through the bonds Dumbledore had placed upon him, shackling his power. His body and magic had changed that night, turning him into an Archmage of Old, Merlin’s true successor, inheritor of his staff, and his apprentice.

    It was time to show Dumbledore what he could do.

    Summoning up all his confidence and power, he slammed his staff onto the floor, and the doors to the Great Hall burst open.

    Chaos reigned within.

    “Finally!” roared Ron. He was standing in the centre of the hall amidst a crowd of Harry’s classmates, waving a gleaming sword. Harry couldn’t help but notice that he’d grown several inches, and was carrying a lot more muscle. “I’m free of all your manipulations, Dumbledore! I am Slytherin reincarnated, and I will have my revenge!”

    “Mr. Weasley,” Dumbledore said, looking quite calm as he sat at the high table, “I realise this may be a confusing time for you, but really, you must...”

    “THAT’S ENOUGH, DUMBLEFUCK!” interrupted Malfoy. He too was taller, though he remained just as thin. But now he had pointy ears, longer hair, and his eyes glowed with power. “I, Draco Malfoy Elbereth Rivendell, Prince of the Elf Kingdom, do challenge you to a duel! I call you to account, thief! Did you really think I wouldn’t know you’ve been stealing from my family vault?”

    Dumbledore’s eyes were twinkling in overdrive.

    “Mr. Malfoy, please sit down before you hurt yourself, now, Mr. Weasley-”

    “He’s mine, Malfoy, you airy fairy prat,” growled Ron, now pointing his sword at the homosexual elvish prince.

    “Really, that’s quite enough,” said Hermione, appearing as if from thin air. She was wearing some kind of metallic armor. Armour that looked like it would be completely ineffective, unless someone were aiming for her ample breasts. “I am with you, Albus. It is time to finish the work you started with my grandfather, Gellert Grindelwald. Let us take this world together!”

    “Mwahahahahaha!” came a deep voice. It was coming from Dean Thomas. He was dressed in black combat pants and a black sleeveless vest, and had a silver mask covering half his face. “You fools! While you were all bickering, my father, Lord Voldemort, has entered the castle! You will all die!”

    Suddenly the hall fell very silent. Everyone turned to look at Dean, who was flexing his now-massive biceps.

    “Your... father, Mr. Thomas?” asked Dumbledore.

    “What of it?” said Dean, rather defensively.

    “But... Dean,” said Ron, his sword now forgotten. “You’re... you know.”

    “What?” said Dean, daring Ron to finish the sentence.

    Ron glanced around the hall for help.

    “Dean, you’re black,” said Daphne Greengrass, who had apparently transformed into some sort of ice creature over the summer.

    Dean’s eyes widened.

    “You can’t say that!” he said, shocked.

    “But-”

    GARAREREGAAGARHAGH!

    A terrible screech filled the hall, and the ceiling smashed into pieces as a giant yellow bird crashed through it, lighting coursing through the air. A vampire with runes carved into its skin was riding on its back.

    “A thunderbird!” shouted a first year.

    “A vampire!” shouted another.

    “Take me!” screamed Draco, ripping his clothes off.

    Harry looked around, uncertain, Merlin’s Staff of Power held limply at his side.

    “Fuck this,” he said, at length, and walked away.​
     
  3. Nauro

    Nauro Headmaster

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    I'd say it's complete.
    Anything more would probably spoil the fun.
    Or, would be something else entirely.
     
  4. Celestin

    Celestin Half-Blood Prince

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    Why parody? I think that your description of the adolescence with magic involved is pretty much spot on. :D
     
  5. KHAAAAAAAN!!

    KHAAAAAAAN!! Troll in the Dungeon Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I don't know about you guys, but...

    [​IMG]
     
  6. Celestin

    Celestin Half-Blood Prince

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    You know I'm starting to believe that the Idea Space really exists. Why? Because if spoilers about The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Century, 2009 are true then Alan Moore did exactly what I was planning for a fic about adventures of Tom Riddle crossing with various horror franchises (that, as you know, was inspired by LoEG).

    For these curious what exactly I'm talking about:

    I was planning to have Harry in role of Damian from Omen. And it seems that Moore made Potter the Moonchild, who also happens to be the Antichrist.

    Can't wait to read how he incorporated this idea into his story.
     
  7. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    That's not 'progress' in my book.

    Actually, therein lies the biggest problem. Why would there be any class distinctions or any of that nonsense in an entirely new place set up deliberately and from whole cloth? What would be the incentive for folks like the Weasleys and the Cattermoles to up and move off-planet if they can expect the same attitudes from the likes of the Malfoys?

    Honestly, people. It's called being Unplottable. If we're suspending disbelief to the extent of these wizards forming a small planet, I don't think we ought to get hung up on whether or not they can hide the damn thing.

    To be fair, I'm incredibly sceptical from the get-go.

    I like the magical black hole aspect, but the fact that this takes so long to consume the planet makes it seem less magic-y to me. That's my problem, not yours, and of course there needs to be a time lapse for the escape to be planned, etc. but I suppose I just like to think of magical apocalypse-type things to be magically fast. Anyway, I'm interested to see where you're headed now.

    I like it, and it reminds me of some book I read a long, long time ago and cannot for the life of me remember now. I believe it involved flying space whales or something, and the laser weapons of the opposing sides caused physical pain to them in addition to threatening the lives of the people onboard.

    For the record, this is not necessarily less outlandish than giant, glass-enclosed broomsticks. You know that, right? This is cooler, yes, but not any less outlandish.

    And what purpose does this serve? You lost me with this Pokemon/Dragonball/anime business, and no, I don't know if any of those are appropriate to use. My point is that it's quite enough to blow up the planet and send all the wizards into space - in the bellies of Transfigured Rocket-Dragons, no less - without needing to add mutated and ninja-fied abilities into the mix. Unless there's some incredibly poignant, absolutely crucial plot element inseparably intertwined with this... whatever it is, it's pointlessly overcomplicating what you have to admit is already a very ambitious story idea.

    This must mean that D'dore died in the Elder Wand fiasco, and no one knows where the magical black hole came from, otherwise it would be common knowledge that it was a freak accident caused by stupidity.

    The real implication here is that injuries cannot be taken as lightly as we see in canon, and things like the broken bones and serious cuts are once again life-threatening.

    You would need to address the fact that any wizard society forwarding thinking enough to Transfigure Rocket-Dragons *should* have made a point to gather every existing wand on the planet, as well as every twig and splinter of suitable wand wood, before the exodus.

    I like the sort-of-ruthlessness here.

    I'm not enough of a Trekkie to tell which of these is most like the Klingons and/or Romulans, or something from perhaps another ST franchise. Or are they sort of the equivalent of Cylons in their feeling of betrayal?

    And what exactly do these goblins do or want? Are they intent on killing the wizards and their dragons, stealing them for food or supplies, or what?

    The Wizard Borg. Magi-Borg? Wait - are these Saturnians still are part of the space wizard society, or have they broken off? I assumed from the hive-mind thing that they'd already taken their dragon(s) and left.

    I admire the cleverness but I think this is a bridge too far. Astrology is and has always been more about the symbolism of a particular day or event and its uniqueness or rarity, than being able to shoehorn the celestial alignments into *your* schedule. Again, it's a personal nit-pick and another example of how I happen to enjoy the mystery and strangeness and magic-ness of these things rather than "Need an eclipse? Comin' right up!"

    Overall, I think it could be very good if not great. You've obviously given it a lot of thought and even written some scenes, but I encourage you to avoid going so far in the space direction that you (and the reader) lose any sense of the source material - the magical world of Harry Potter.

    This feels fresh and unique and interesting and all that, a mix of Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek, other off-world post-apocalypse movies, and that book I mentioned that I can't recall. I would reign in the superhuman abilities if not eliminate them, personally, and stick to the human element in what is effectively a space opera with magic. Unless you forget the magic -- and if you take all the wonder out of it by rationalizing the shit out of it, making it far too commonplace and ho-hum, or just having it overshadowed by things like hive-minds and super-agility, you might as well have left the magic out in the first place and written an original fiction piece.

    That was crimin-alley punny, Warlocke.
     
  8. Glimmervoid

    Glimmervoid Seventh Year

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    Thanks for that, Portus. If this idea ever moves beyond planning and sketched out scenes, this will be very useful.

    A few points, though, more for your information than anything else.

    I'd just read Eclipse Phase when I was doing much of the world building, hence we have transhumanist wizards who have used their magic to make their bodies better. You are right that there are problems with it, though, especially in theme.

    I had planned for Dumbledore to be dead, yes, but I did have an idea that Grindelwald survived and was pretty much the only person to know the truth. I also had an idea that he'd taken on Dumbledore's identity in the chaos of the evacuation and would serve as Harry's mentor but that was less certain.

    Wands... You're probably right there, but wizards fled in to space over eighty years ago by the story's time, eighty years of full blow, crisis driven population expansion. They have to be running out soon.

    Goblins are generic space pirates who think nothing of preying on wizards, not anything in particular from Star Trek. They blame wizards for the fact that the vast majority of the goblin race is now dead and never thought highly of him to start with. In the former they are, of course, completely correct but the wizards don’t know that. Really, half the point of their existence was so they could kill the star dragon Harry was born on and make Harry and orphan, like in canon. In the sort-of plan, Harry would be one of the few to survive and grow up on Big Bess, the largest star dragon in the solar system transfigured from a Welsh Green. It would be led by a man called Dumbledore but... See the bit about Dumbledore above. You right I’d need to do a lot more planning about them if I ever wrote this. There’s barely a characture at the moment.

    The Saturnians are not the Borg. They are my take on the Conjoiners from Alastair Reynolds' Revelation Space Universe. They’re alien and other but not opposed to main stream wizards. Yet anyway.
     
  9. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    @ Glimmervoid:

    Thanks for the info. As I think anyone can see from the analogies I tried, my scifi knowledge is pretty limited and so my comparisons were rudimentary at best. I'm glad you have some specific inspirations in mind and from several different places.


    I like the Grindelwald-Dumbledore bit if you decide to do that. My real question has to do with the overall plot and where you'd end the story. I don't want to KNOW, I'm saying YOU need to know the endgame and resolution. A new or existing planet in this solar system? Leaving this system altogether a la BSG and either leaving it there or setting up a sequel?


    Last thing - the goblins. Not to harp on this, but what's /their/ endgame? I know you say 'generic space pirates' but even space pirates have somewhere to go once in a while, right? It seems the goblins, unless they're also spending time looking for a new planet, are going to easily fall into the flat character category.


    Oops. One more - wands, etc. Instead of a population explosion, I figured there would be a subplot (or maybe a major plot point) about eugenics going on to keep the population at sustainable levels. This actually was what I figured (later, after I posted) you were getting at with the human Transfiguration. It would also dovetail nicely with a hidden-Grindelwald if he were in favor of killing off any weak or Squib or Muggle babies.


    If its not obvious, I'd be interested in reading this - definitely. Good luck, and if you want to bounce more ideas off me or need some alpha or beta work, PM me.
     
  10. serenadeofhatred

    serenadeofhatred First Year

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    I remember reading a really good story where Harry and Sasuke switched bodies. Now I want to read it again and see if it's as good as I remember.

    ...

    Now, let your imagination run wild. Things could go any way. Sasuke, using his Mary Sue powers, would win the Dursley's hearts, and have sex with Fleur Delacour before the first week is out, murdering the fuck out of Voldemort's soul. Naruto finds himself pleased with living with his new family, and decides to never leave. Ever. Sakura, in Hermione's bod, basically does a whole bunch of stupid shit that nobody cares about.

    The three wizards in Ninjas would utilize their magical abilities to murder Madara in about half a chapter, and then the author could go ahead and focus on the hiliarous romantic hijinks of them all as they go around trying to find the love of their lives.

    Or they could actually try and make it good, I don't care.

    My point stands: You must try portray whatever direction you take realistically.


    Edit by Minion: Merged with the Plotbunny thread, because this is a stereotypical bad plotbunny that shouldn't pollute the board.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 21, 2012
  11. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

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    JESUS CHRIST! What is this I don't even . . .
     
  12. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

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    People who even suggest crossing Harry Potter with that JapCrap should be castrated.
     
  13. Oliver Kingston

    Oliver Kingston Fake Flamingo Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Hey now Jorm, there is plenty of good anime... but it should never mix with HP, trust me. I tried to find a way to mix mechs with HP for about 3 hours one day, it'll always suck.
     
  14. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

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    :fireI dunno - people strapping themselves into rune-powered golem 'mechs'?

    Projectile weapons such as enchanted crossbow bolts and arrows, alchemy-powered cannon-ball type weapons (like those seen on 17th century wooden warships), ballistae, etc.

    Ya would have to also be wary of going into the whole 'muggle on wizard thing'; see installing automatic weapons on said mechs. :sherlock: Though I do see 'laser'/optic sights being possible with powered ruby/glass lights.

    Spells could be launched via a wand, using something on the golem's arm as an amplifier, but the downside would be that said spells exhaust the pilot - spamming the Killing Curse, for example, would pretty much tire you out to the point where ya couldn't move.


    ...

    :nyan:
     
  15. Captain Trips

    Captain Trips High Inquisitor

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    So you're going to castrate Dark Syaoran for his story Fictional then?
     
  16. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

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    I would, but he'd kill me. :) There are always exceptions to the rule, his story being one of them.

    However, if we take a look at the crossover section on, say, Fan Fiction.net... :sherlock:
     
  17. Celestin

    Celestin Half-Blood Prince

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    It would need to be a war setting. Maybe AU where Grindelwald's reign didn't end in 1945 and the war continues in a present day. Mechs would be based on golems (and probably called as that) only with someone inside them for more intelligent control. They would be weapons of mass destruction. Hard to destroy because of their enhancements, with a lot of prepared firepower independently from wizards driving them and used by masses of less talented ones who can't destroy whole streets with just one flick of the wand like Dumbledore.

    Or something like that. ;)

    EDIT: I see that Jormungandr was quicker with this idea, though he went in a different direction.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2012
  18. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

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    Next thing you're going to say is that Harry's 'golem' design is special and superior to the average mech golem, due to it being powered by wonderfully advanced 'magical innovation' (as the protagonist's mech usually is in mech-based anime and crap), and the three Hallows.

    Huh. Ministry auror mechs golems being ineffective and a 'dime-a-dozen' - uniform, with Hitwizard mechs golems being an upgraded model. Order of the Phoenix mechs golems (each custom designed and unique) designed to be effective for capture and pacification, and support. Death Eater mechs golems as being designed to cause as much death and destruction as possible, with them being uniform in design (like faceless death-squads), aside from a few personal touches on the exterior.

    :awesome
     
  19. Taure

    Taure Magical Core Enthusiast Prestige DLP Supporter

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    I am quite happy to have no idea what you're talking about, Jorm.
     
  20. Jormungandr

    Jormungandr Prisoner

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    What - JapCrap-inspired mech golem warfare, transposed into Harry Potter?
     
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