Why did after reading this, I sudennnly heard the following chant in my head: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! Cthulhu fhtagn!

Seriously, this is just a perfect setup for a Cthulhu Mythos-type of story.

Or maybe Pacific Rim, for the lulz.

 

There's something in the water at Hogwarts. Literally. Last week Pansy turned into a giant hellhound. Three days ago Blaise Zabini started a speech about the virtues of watermelon and hasn't been able to stop since. And this morning at breakfast Lavender's breasts doubled in size. Can Harry find the culprit before it's too late?

---------- Post automerged at 12:56 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:47 AM ----------

This one is just pure crack...

"If you love books so much, why don't you become one!" Ron really should think before he speaks, especially when he has a broken wand. CoS AU, book!Hermione/diary!Riddle.

---------- Post automerged at 01:04 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:56 AM ----------

Aaaand I think we should call it a night here.

James and Lily thought they were ready for anything. A girl, or a boy? Doesn't matter. A Chosen One or a regular kid? Not important. But they weren't ready, not for this. Lily really shouldn't have gotten drunk that one time, and she definitely shouldn't have slept with the Malfoy's House-Elf Dobby. Dobby's Son!Harry.

 

Intended as a crack fic.

What if Harry was absorbing the Horcruxes into himself when he touched them? And they all acted as separate personalities in his mind?

He grows up with the Scarcrux talking to him (that's 1981 Voldemort). In second year, he touches the Diary and Riddle is also transferred to his mind. Now he has two separate Voldemorts in his head. He somehow ends up touching the Diadem in the Room of Requirement and ends up with yet another Riddle.

I have no idea how he would absorb the Locket, Ring and the Cup (Nagini wasn't turned yet) but I'm sure something could be figured out.

With each absorbtion, he would gain a feature of Voldemort in himself. The Scarcrux made him a Parselmouth, the Diarycrux makes him able to relieve Voldemort's memories, the Diademcrux makes him a great Legilimens etc.

Harry's physical appearance is also altered. With each absorbtion he looks more and more like Voldemort. His eyes go red, he becomes snake-like etc.

Eventually as Harry has absorbed all the Horcruxes, he gets to fight Voldemort, as Voldemort!

 

That sounds a lot like salvation in shadow by odev

 

HP/Lovecraft:
Wizards are more perceptive than muggles. Perception is a dangerous thing. The wizarding world is a gloomy place. Magic is dangerous, unpredictable, and yet also needed to protect oneself against the horrors one perceives. Saint Mungo's Asylum is filled with promising wizards and witches who dabbled too deep in forbidden knowledge. Hogwarts exists to shelter young wizards as they learn just enough magic to survive, but it isn't a safe environment. Students have to cope with the alien geometries, and avoid the seductive tomes of eldritch lore in the libraries. Houses are sorted on flaws, not virtue. Slytherin is not associated with evil, but with people are rumoured to worship and intermingle with the Deep Ones. Ravenclaw is for those who yearn for forbidden knowledge. Gryffindor for those who are imprudent, and Hufflepuff for those who are easily misled by charismatics.

Harry Potter is not the boy-who-lived, there is no prophecy implying hope at all. His parents have died in a cultist ritual, and he has been raised by genuinely caring Dursleys.

Voldemort is a mysterious cult leader of the Esoteric Order of Dagon, who has taken an interest in Harry Potter.

Albus Dumbledore didn't fight Grindelwald, but is still the grandfatherly figure. While certainly not manipulative or scheming, he believes in the importance of ignorance as a ward against misfortune.

Quirrel is a nervous wreck after having dabbled with eldritch magic. He's on his way to insanity, but has been hired to discourage others to follow his path.

 

Just an AU scenario. Try to guess what inspired it.

Harry:

Instead of turning Harry into a Horcrux after the Killing Curse rebounded, Voldemort himself was imprisoned in Harry's scar. Dumbledore is aware of the situation, as whenever Harry loses control (strong emotions, sleep, etc), Voldemort takes over and is able to control the body. Harry's eyes turn red etc. So, Albus figured out things pretty quickly.

Thankfully, while Harry is at Privet Drive, the blood protections granted by Lily's sacrifice prevent the Dark Lord from gaining enough power to do anything significantly damaging.

Harry was told about the magical world much sooner, as it would be near impossible to keep it secret, with Voldemort frequently whispering corrupting thoughts to him. Harry is aware that the Dark Lord is trapped in his scar, but understands that it is paramount to keep it a secret from people. What would they think if they knew that their savior is also their worst nightmare?

Only Harry, Dumbledore, McGonagall and Snape know about the situation. Everyone has to act their part in front of Harry, as they know Voldemort is listening as well. Harry was taught Occlumency and other control methods by Dumbledore from a young age. The Dursleys kind of had to deal with the Headmaster frequently visiting Harry. As such, Harry's conditions at their house were a little better.

When Harry finally enters the magical world at the age of 11, it is not with wonder and awe, but with a burden and a terrible secret.

Ron:

The Weasley family (extended one as well, including the squib accountant) was planning to break the Statute of Secrecy and reveal magic to the muggles.

Magical prodigy William Weasley was secretly ordered by the Minister of Magic Bartemius Crouch to exterminate his entire family. Bill obeyed and slaughtered everyone except Ron and Ginny as they did not know about the Plot and were too young anyway.

As Bill escaped Britain, Ron and Ginny were placed in more Ministry-minded families. Ron was taken by Amelia Bones and Ginny was taken by Dolores Umbridge. Both grow up thinking their brother was a traitor and a psychopath, not knowing the terrible truth.

Ron develops a desire for revenge and vows to murder Bill, he becomes a quiet, determined boy, learning as much magic as he can. Ginny, on the other hand becomes fanatically devoted to the ministry and quite the blood purist.

Hermione:

Hermione figured out pretty early on that if she acted in certain ways, people would like her. If she acted in other ways, they would dislike her. Clearly, the more reasonable choice was to be liked. So while at home Hermione studied, read books and enjoyed learning, in public places such as school or the local playground, she did everything she could to be the most popular girl around. A Social Queen.

These efforts were helped when she discovered that she can manipulate things when she concentrates very hard. Her teeth did not end up so beaver-like, her hair actually turned out quite blonde and straight instead of brown and curly. And then came the ability to control people through fear or promises. It were the small things, like that other girl in her class suddenly developing a disgusting rash after she attempted to humiliate Hermione. Yes, Hermione has had many friends and admirers in her muggle school. Though the word followers would perhaps be more fitting.

Her Hogwarts letter brought very interesting possibilities for our little ambitious, power hungry, attention loving girl.

 

Ahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha.

I almost like this.

 

Probably not a coincidence that it's the loosest fusion of ideas possible. Still surprised it works though.

 

Well, I tried. Can't blame a guy for at least trying!

 

I... like it.

Especially with a little twist

 

Hermione sounds like what I would expect Daphne Greengrass to be like if she had book time.

 

Certainly doesn't sound like Sakura. Far too competent.

 

Fairly sure a well known HP author (Rorschach? Chilord?) wrote this in their collection of one-shots a couple years back. Took a quick look, but couldn't find it.

Anyway, here's an idea that came to me the other night while drunk and watching the Superbowl. Kept thinking the Broncos should have been better prepared (43-8 in the Superbowl? Seriously?) and this was born.

Mentored By Moody

Voldemort knows that you're only reborn once and he wants to make the night special by not only killing Harry Potter in front of his servants, but also executing the fearsome Alastor Moody. While trapped in the graveyard, Moody finally gets the chance to escape that he's been waiting for all year. Using runes he carved into the back of his teeth years ago, Moody has one chance to shoot Fiendfyre out of his mouth and escape (or something like that. I woke up hungover with no memory of where I was going with this part besides that he burned off his tongue and lower jaw).

Luckily, Moody successfully escapes and rescues Harry soon after Voldemort is reborn. He may not know about any prophecy, but if there is one thing Alastor Moody is sure of its that Harry Potter has an important role in defeating Voldemort and needs to be trained. Sure nobody can do this but him, Moody kidnaps Harry and spends the next year teaching him whether Harry wants this or not (Moody's training is a lot like Mab's and would involve everything from portkeying a crocodile on top of Harry while he's showering to polyjuicing into a teenage girl to seduce and poison him).

Harry would return to Hogwarts for his 6th year capable of going toe-to-toe with any Death Eater, but also incredibly paranoid and slightly cracked. That's where the fun begins....


If I can ever figure out what would happen next (unlikely), I'd probably try to write it.

 

To be completely honest, I simply did not know what should I do with her. I guess Sakura is such a non-entity that you have to make shit up to make her interesting. And making her a Female Tom Riddle figure focused on popularity works as good as anything.

---------- Post automerged at 06:48 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:44 PM ----------

You thought I was finished? Think again!

Voldemort:

Before he was trapped in Harry's Scar, the Dark Lord was quite the nightmare. Notable for his use of forbidden, dark arts and his affinity with snakes, Voldemort started his quest for pureblood dominance in the early 1970s.

This all began when Albus Dumbledore found out Tom Riddle's (as Voldemort was named at the time) disgusting experiments performed in the Chamber of Secrets under the school. As the Dark Lord was the Defense Professor at the time, Dumbledore was forced to remove him from the school and report the incident to the Ministry.

The Aurors investigating the chamber discovered several basilisks (most of them young, but some already could induce sleep in their prey), human bodies (muggle, squib and wizard), a dementor in a cage and many other things that should not be mentioned. Riddle was forced to leave Britain to avoid capture. At the time, Dumbledore thought that this was the end of Tom's reputation. He was right, partially, as Riddle already adopted a different name, one which would cause most wizards to shudder in fear.

Unknown to Dumbledore, years before he was found out, Voldemort performed the darkest of magical rituals: he split his soul into several pieces. These Horcruxes as they were called, were inhabiting dead bodies of wizards Voldemort personally murdered. There was six of them, with Voldemort being the seventh (and main) soul piece. The most significant use of the Horcruxes was that unless they were destroyed first, their creator could not die and was effectively immortal. There was however, a price. Each additional Horcrux was weaker than the previous one and the creation of each one took something from Voldemort as well.

Nonetheless, if the wizarding world was having a hard time against one Voldemort, imagine what happened when seven of them started running around, causing mayhem. Soon the public was speaking (quietly) about the Dark Lord and his Six Wands of Death.

While two of them were destroyed by Dumbledore himself, the most curious thing happened to the rest when Voldemort was imprisoned in Harry. The remaining Horcruxes simply fell over and stopped moving, seemingly dead. Their bodies were destroyed and everyone thought the nightmare was over. In reality, the remaining four simply found either new hosts or found security by inhabiting various objects.

 

And then the Hat sticks them all in Hufflepuff for shits and giggles because he's had enough of brats with their angst and delusions of grandeur. 1991 is the year of Hufflepuff, where everyone goes black and yellow.

 

Woosh!

/10char

 

No angst or delusions of grandeur? I could get behind that, I think.

Now here's an idea worth exploring: an AU in which everything written in the Quibbler is true and in which everything Lockhard said was true.

Basically, I want a scene in which Harry and Lockhart are fightning an army of Heliopaths sent by Fudge.

 

I had an idea in which Luna asks Lockhart about nargles or something like that in her first year and Lockhart, unaware of what they are, pretends that he has ample experience with them.

This causes students to start paying attention to what Luna says and buy the Quibbler to keep themselves informed. It starts with people thinking that they might be right about some things and then when they realize that it is insane they read it for shit and giggles, taking it as a joke magazine.

Ironically, nargles are discovered in year 2017 due to the interest gathered by the incident and can be harvested for ingredients that heal memory charms, with Lockhart being one of the first patients.

 

Awesome.

Now that I think about it, imagine the results of Luna being mentored by Lockhart. She is, after all, the daughter of a newspaper editor, so Gilderoy might want to appear in said paper favourably.

Might be nice as a oneshot, Lockhart helps Luna attract some friends and she in turn unknowingly helps him generate more fame.

 

Although I have my doubts about the new 52, I recently had an idea after reading about the repercussions from the reboot at DC Comics. It's certainly not a well fleshed out bunny, but bear with me:

What if the Potter universe was rebooted?

The salient elements of the HP mythos, of course, must remain the same:

1. Harry is the BWL, marked by Lord Voldemort
2. Horcruxes exist, and one of them is the Scarcrux
3. Lily performed the sacrifice, leading to Voldemort's initial demise at Halloween.
4. Harry has glasses, a scar, and unwanted fame. He will attend Hogwarts with his signature Holly wand.

However, like with DC's new 52, the reboot shuffles around some of the salient elements around, changing some of the dynamics. For example, part of Neville's backstory about his mother being in Saint Mungo's could be transferred onto Reboot!Harry. Maybe Lily didn't die at Saint Mungo's but was instead rendered fundamentally incapable, like Alice Longbottom? Who says that the blood sacrifice in this universe requires a death?

Maybe like Neville in canon, Reboot!Harry grew up seeing his mother every now and then at Saint Mungo's, where she is a shadow of her former self. How would that affect his character development in this new universe? Should Harry also have Neville's backstory of growing up with an authoritative grandparent?

In this reboot, we could also shuffle around the Weasleys to change their family dynamics. Maybe the Weasley twins are now the youngest of the family, teasing Ron and annoying the rest of family as younger siblings. Reboot!Ginny could be older than Ron, and thus would be friends with Angelina and Katie Bell. As a seasoned Gryffindor Chaser, she has no desire in chasing boys who are two years younger than her, especially when they're eleven. Being less insecure than his canon counterpart, owing to the lack of meaningful teasing from the Twins, Reboot!Percy is less tight-assed and more of a mentor to Reboot!Ron, who is more studious and prefers to stick to the rules.

In the reboot universe, Reboot!Bill is the one who's absent, doing excavation work in Egypt, while Reboot!Charlie spends more time with Harry and Co., since he now has a steady job at the Beast Division of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.

While she is certainly not stupid, Reboot!Hermione grew up with parents who are more health-conscious and athletic. They were concerned that she was spending too much time with her nose in a book and not enough time with friends. Hermione picked up figure skating and soccer as sports in order to interact with more girls her own age. Consequently, she is less academically inclined and more athletic. However, her competitive streak still manifests in sports. She does show some envy for Reboot!Harry's proclivity for Quidditch.

In this Reboot, the books don't need to happen in chronological order. Like with Xandrel's suggested Reverse Bunny, the first book can be about a young Harry discovering the Deathly Hallows, the second is about discovering the identity of the Half-Blood Prince, the third involves Reboot!Harry re-establishing the Order of the Phoenix, etc etc. Why? This is a Reboot: we can do whatever the fuck we want.

Subjects don't need to be introduced in Third Year either. Arithmancy is like the Maths course of Hogwarts's curriculum: it's now compulsory subjects for First, Second, and Third years, because in this universe, knowing some basic arithmetic and its place in spellcasting and spell-crafting is actual important to forming decent citizens. At any rate, a universe with no long division is ridiculous. In exchange, Herbology is now an elective in Third Year for those who are Potions inclined.

Also, in this reboot universe, the International Confederation of Wizards plays a more active part. When Voldemort resurrects Inferi in Belfast, this aggression alarms the Irish Ministry in Dublin, which convenes an emergency session. In order to avoid creating OCs for these international delegations, we can recycle characters from canon. For example, the Reboot!Patils never attended Hogwarts and instead attended a magical school in India, where their father is the Supreme Mugwump for India. Reboot!Zabini and his seductress mother are part of the Italian delegation to the ICW. Reboot!Seamus lives in Dublin, where his mother works for the Irish Ministry of Magic which separated from the one in London during an Irish Independence movement.

The Tri-Wizard Tournament is actually organised by the ICW, and part of the emergency meeting will be discussing the location of the next tournament.

The ICW can have a youth delegation, which explains the presence of the Reboot!Patils, Reboot!Zabini, Reboot!Seamus Reboot!Harry, etc. at the ICW conference.

Reboot!Luna lives with her mother, since Reboot!Xenophilius died in a freak magical accident when Luna was seven. Mrs Lovegood attended Hogwarts with Lily and is a Healer at Saint Mungo's, where she oversees Lily's convalescence. Consequently, Reboot!Luna met Harry when they were younger and are decent friends. Although she retains her trademark patience and quirkiness, Reboot!Luna isn't as weird and zen as she is in canon, since her father wasn't a great influence on her life. Reboot!Luna does have a temper if you push her severely.

Obviously, this bunny is far from fleshed out, but as a Reboot Bunny, it has a lot of potential to change things around. Like with comic books, a reboot gives you the rare chance to change characterisations and entire backstories. What do you all think? What should a Reboot include?

Specifically, I'd like Taure and Xandrel's comments, because the former is a canon Bible and the latter is a plot bunny generator.