Sounds like a steaming pile of crap, full of OC's or blank slates. On top of that, for this story to work, one would need to really catch the atmosphere of the time, the forties in Great Britain, as seen through a psychotic child who can do magic.

1. Without living parents who care about him, Tom Riddle is shit out of luck when AK hits him on the forehead. It doesn't even obey the convoluted internal logic the Rowling used.

2. He's still a high-risk case for Dark Lord-dom, since he's crazy, alone, and hated by everyone who's around him for having dirty blood. On top of that, Tom Riddle doesn't have capacity for a "saving people thing" which is so key to heroism. Tom Riddle would have to basically be written out in favor of Harry with cosmetic surgery and a changed name.

3. I would assume he would still live in England, unless you plan on turning this into an "America is the best magical nation ev4r!" wankfest.

4. This could very easily turn into a near rewrite of Harry Potter, which would be boring as fuck to read.

5. With so many OCs and blank slates, you've got a high percentage chance for Mary-Sues. Also, you're fighting an uphill battle with the characterization- no-one has any pre-existing connection to your characters, which is the primary advantage you've got writing fanfiction.

6. What purpose would the story serve to read? Are you trying to redeem Tom Riddle, the child, from his future as a psychotic, murdering bastard? Are you trying to write the fall of a hero to an epic villain? The problem is that with your description of the plot, you've got nothing to really hook me in. The only way your story has any conflict is in how you, the reader, are invited to compare Harry and Tom, which we already did in Half-Baked Plot.

In Conclusion: While the premise could be turned into a decent story, if you had the skill, even a slight misstep would turn it into a shit-fest of untold proportions.

 

The Dark Lord, not a Dark Lord.

 

I've been turning this very AU idea around in my mind. Basically Dumbledore and Grindewald ended up joining forces after all, but their ideology became "milder" and instead of wizards enslaving muggles, they just advocate an extremely tight separation between the two. It has turned pretty well for most wizards and witches and the current goverment is generally supported even though there is some questionable stuff going on behind the scenes such as taking muggleborn children away from their parents and putting squibs and extremely weak wizarding children to live with muggles as that way they won't feel left out in the glorious wizarding society. The rest are more equal than ever before, so what is not to be liked?

Anyway Tom Riddle never had to spend a very long time in the orphanage before it was found out he was a wizard, and he never seemed to turn out quite so twisted. He is still very, very powerful though. He is also quite smart so he saw he had no chance against both Dumbledore and Grindewald so he has chosen to advance to a suitable position at the ministry and tread extremely carefully.

In this setting we have Harry Potter, living happily with his family and friends. He is a perfectly ordinary boy, however he realizes there is something going on behind the scenes and starts to think that perhaps things are not quite as well as they seem. Unlike many others, he is also willing to do something about this. Then we have Tom Riddle who is after all plotting to turn against Dumbledore and Grindewald, but he has not found a suitable opening yet as the two are very well covered. The story would mostly focus on Harry's attempts to find out what is going on and his and Tom's quest to remove Dumbledore and Grindewald from the leadership position they have held for a long time. But it is quite questionable if Tom Riddle is really doing it for the children, and he might have some deeper motives of his own.

Go ahead, shoot it full of holes.

 

Doesn't seem too bad, but it looks like one of those stories that doesn't get past 5-6 chapters because the author can't handle an original plot. If they get past that point, I don't see very much conflict outlined (sure, there's the overarching 'treat the muggleborns better' theme, but that's rarely good enough to hold the story up). In the books Tom wasn't that smart anyway, or if he was, he was so arrogant and stubborn that it challenged his judgement.

I don't think it's really going to work if you have Harry 'happily living with his family'. If Harry grew up with his family unhurt by a war, than he would have no motivation at all. In canon Harry was a slacker, even though he had a war to fight; I can't see why he'd care to fight in this war that doesn't relate to him at all. Maybe you could either change Harry's background differently, or just use a different character.

 

I'm left wondering how it is that Harry would be involved? Would Riddle be teaching at Hogwarts? That would give him a connection to both Harry and 'the children' to explain why he is possibly working to bring down society for them. Or would he be working at the Ministry, and Harry perhaps does an internship in his office or something? I think thats your main problem here, that it would be difficult to reasonably connect Harry with Tom.

 

For the Tom and smart thing, I always thought he was an excellent student. His upbringing was different so he's less extreme and has better judgement.

As for Harry I have an idea about his motivation. He has muggleborn sister who was adopted. When hes older maybe 16 or so he gets the feeling that his parents are hiding something from them. Eventually he finds out he had a squib sister who their parents were unable to keep despite great effort. They wanted to protect Harry so he doesnt know anything about. This society is a bit more totalitarian than most realize which is why they couldnt do anything more about it. Of course Harry would want to find this sister he has never known about and things kind of develop from that.

I am still thinking about more ways to stir up conflict because this idea just refuses to leave me alone.

 

Tom is the head for the department responsible for squib/muggleborn issues. Harry would probably enter his radar while trying to find about his sister. Tom is always looking for people who could be helpful.

 

The problem introducing a sibling is that they either read as self-inserts, mary-sues or boring. There are very few examples that stray outside these three areas. If you could do it well, fine, but most authors can't. Maybe make it a slow process of Harry noticing as he grows up that every so often someone he knows disappears. These are children who are found to be squibs, or just really lacking in ability, who are dumped with muggles. Maybe when Harry is a bit older, just before he goes to Hogwarts perhaps his best friend disappears, again the same cause. The culturally done thing is to ignore it when a child disappears like that, but Harry refuses to and he always remembers.

Give a few more years, as Harry goes to Hogwarts and maybe because he came in somewhat doubting, he sees the way people are being brainwashed in support of Dumbledore and Grindelwald. He manages to avoid being affected by, possibly because it only really works if you don't have any doubts to begin with. So by the time he is 16 or so he is deadset against the regime and wants to change it. He realises the best way to do that is from inside, so he perhaps works to cultivate contacts within the Ministry, perhaps as I suggested previously with internships or work experience or somesuch. Here he ends up working in proximity to Tom Riddle, who notices the young mans dissatisfaction with how things work and begins to factor him into his plans. Tom maybe works to get Harry wider experience before he finishes Hogwarts, and then uses his influence in the Ministry to get Harry a very good position (which just happens to be helpful to Tom) straight away. Harry ends up somewhat indebted to Tom, gets to know him, and Tom slowly draws Harry into his conspiracies.

And from there you could go with your idea that Harry begins to wonder at Toms motivations etc.

 

So, an AU along the same lines as The Skitterleap or Prince of the Dark Kingdom. Any fic with this kind of plot would have to suffer those comparisons. This has the same problem as other AUs, the changing of situations makes the characters unrecognizable.

Also, this kind of plot is hard to carry out as it requires a lot of originality - something hard to find in any fanfiction author (lol, DLP, you too.). Unless you've got a lot of talent and dedication to the story, better to leave it alone.

 

Except it might not be boring, so that rules out comparisons to Skitterleap, and it won't have every second character and every main character be gay, so that stops comparisons to Prince of the Dark Kingdom.

Besides, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with writing a fic that is similar in nature to a couple of other fics...Because otherwise we'd all be done since every idea has already been written in at least some format or other. If it is written about more widely it (usually) just means its quite a good and appealing idea.

 

Conflict is generally improved if you raise the stakes. Harry's finding his Squib sister because he wants to meet her? Meh.

Harry's finding his Squib sister to rescue her from roving squads of Nazi exterminators and Magical hit-squads seeking to exterminate her? Better. Oh, and through an accident of fate, she alone holds the key to effecting real change in the Magical world, thus making her be sought by multiple groups, pitted against one another. Worse, his sister hates the Magical world and her family for its rejecting her--she doesn't want to be found and she's been living on her own terms for years, thank you very much, and she's not going anywhere except on her own terms. Now you have multiple, powerful groups wanting things that are in opposition with one another: the essence of conflict.

Regarding setting, you should play around with it some:

The two worlds are highly insulated, so what goes on in one doesn't register in the other, except through tightly controlled channels. You could easily make the Muggle world quite different without doing much to the Magical--e.g., Hitler and Grindelwald were allies; you could have the Muggle world be Axis-ruled, with 40 years of German rule of Britain (and the rest of Europe), with whatever level of oppressiveness you choose. Galleons don't go into Pounds; they go into Reichsmarks and German is the official language. In the Muggle world, Squibs rejected from the Magical are little better than gypsies in the eyes of their Masters and suffer accordingly. Is there asylum for the outcast? An underground opposing the Nazis? How are the Nazis seeking to infiltrate and destroy these groups? Do they have Magical allies who help them cow the masses?

Disease and famine could strike at the Muggle populations; like small-scale forest fires protecting the forest writ large, they are permitted to run their courses in order to cull the weak, for only the strongest survive in the Muggle world. Hitler was obsessed with the supernatural and the occult, particularly fortune telling. This is a vehicle for influence and control by Grindelwald, the real power behind the throne.

 

I'm not going to write anything long unless I have definate idea how it's all going to play out. I think it would probably be a bit unrealistic for Harry to be totally oblivious to things but the ministry is pretty happy to throw around memory charms if they feel the need.

If Harry does have a sister she would probably not feature very heavily in the story. They would be close but can't see each other very much as Harry is still in school and she's starting a life of her own. She would be maybe 4 years older and already working. I was mostly thinking about her as a person that Harry doesn't want to endanger and that could cause some problems down the line because Tom is probably whole lot more willing to sacrifice one for the needs of the many.

As for the lost sister if Harry did find her, she would probably be living another life with another family. Harry may ultimately decide not to disturb that.

 

I could definately see the muggle world being somewhat different. Ultimately I dont think I could write anything quite this extreme though. Also Dumbledore thinks he is acting for the greater good. Seems a bit too extreme to the way I see him in this setting as well. Maybe if Grindewald backstabbed him, but thats not really how I imagined it.

 

I am sure you have all heard about the latest X-men movie coming this June. If you didn't...well, you do now.

Trailer 1

Trailer 2

"WTF does it have to do with Harry Potter", you ask?

Well it is not a crossover. Just a relation. Think of Dumbledore as Xavier and Grindelwald as Magneto.

With a few modification(s) to the Magical World ->
Not as organized as in canon.
The fiasco with Arinna removed or no fault of Grindelwald in it.

I saw a while ago people asking for a movie around World War I. That is something which can be done here.

Now a line from Trailer 2 ->
(Xavier) Dumbledore: We have it in us to be the better men.
(Magneto) Grindelwald: We already are.

This comes after a certain community realizes wizards are among them. Catches them by surprise and executes them. One of them is a relation of Grindelwald.

Then a line from Trailer 1:
(Xavier) Dumbledore: Listen to me very carefully my friend, killing will not bring you peace.
(Magneto) Grindelwald: Peace was never an option.

This comes somewhere in the middle after which they part ways.

 

Magneto/Xavier and Dumbledore/Grindelwald? That's actually quite an interesting comparison.

EDIT: Also, a Harry Potter: Origins movie with the two of them would be pretty awesome.

 

Correction: Magneto/Xavier and Grindelwald/Dumbledore

A movie is unlikely, because it would have to follow canon. And canon Dumbledore/Grindelwald story sucks.

 

Dumbledore/Grindelwald teaming up (without the "milder" ideology) with Riddle running his own plots and Harry starting to question things is already written, though seemingly abandoned.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6004275/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Greater_Good

 

Make the reaction to Squib finding more extreme and you can create a lot of tension on that alone. When they find a squib, they send a team of obliviators that erase the memory of the child and throws him into the muggle world with a new name. That could make searching for Harry's sister a lot more complicated.

Make Tom the Head of the Defense Department of Magic (or something else), which would include Obliviators for erasing magic from muggles' mind, 'kidnapping' muggleborn and casting out Squibs. That could create tension between Tom and Harry because even though Tom seems to object to Dumbledore and Grindelwald's way of governing, he doesn't seem to have any remorse about casting out the squibs.

Another reason of why Harry might associate with Tom: him being the Head of that Department, he probably has record of what happened to his sister. So Harry tries to get an internship at the ministry in that department to have access to these records. He gets found out by Tom and Tom use blackmail to make him do his bidding to dethrone Dumbledore and Grindelwald.

I don't know about you, but those kind of story are the one I prefer because of the sheer originality that the authors bring forth.

Mary-sue alert in my opinion. She's being tracked by multiple groups involving government and what not...plus she's an original character (and a squib let's not forget).

There is no better way to put it!

 

I don't think it's game changing, but how about having James surviving his encounter with Voldemort?

He could be out somewhere, Order meeting, etc. while Voldemort goes to Godric Hallow and kill Lily. Her protection/ancient or however you spin it protects Harry. He still becomes a Horcrux.

If you want to have James not "PRO LIGHT TEAM LIGHT GO!" have him be upset with Dumbledore or something.

 

Dark Marauder