um, I don't think he'd want to fuck bony, giraffe-necked Petunia.

 

I don't think he'd want to stick his dick anywhere - ugly or not - that Vernon Dursley has been first.

 

QFT.

And Horace Slughorn? Why would he ever do all of these crazy things Harry says?

"Hey, new man I just met and somehow persuaded into privately tutoring me, would you Fidelius my house?"

"Sure, my lad! And let's redecorate your house while we're at it."

 

I was thinking he'd use the Imperius on him from the get-go.

Well it would be kind of like a Exit Light, Enter Night situation but instead of Harry being good before snapping he'd start out evil and perverse.

 

@enflamedsilhouette: Considering that you're actually serious and that Harry was perverse enough to do all that, and that Slughorn was stupid enough to fall to Harry's Imperius, what then? Does he spend all his life locked in 4 Privet Drive? When did he turn bad in the first place anyways? And if he was always bad, then why did no one else notice it?

 

If Disobediencewriter can write story with Vernon killing DD with shotgun (Harry Potter and the Muggle Mess), then I do not think it is not possible for DD to pass through Deluminator´s portal very unluckily just right in front of car.
In Dungeons and Dragons terms : DD is flatfooted, he lost his Dexterity bonus modifier to his Defence and was hit.

 

I agree - that story is probably crap too. But that might just be me hating crack fics.

 

So, you are saying that it is impossible for DD to be killed when caught absolutely unprepared and/or facing the wrong direction ?

 

Yes.

1. He's too talented for that weak shit.
2. He has a Phoenix, that's been canon-proven to watch his back unless ordered otherwise.

 

Fawkes saved DD ONCE in HP books. And what about his hand ? DD was two times in danger and Fawkes helped him once. (I do not think that in OOTP he was in any danger after he incapacitated Aurors, Fudge and Umbridge).

Does Hagrid even know what car is ? His behaviour in the beginning of PS did not give me that much confidence in his knowledge of muggles. (maybe just Sirius´s motorcycle and that is enchanted so very easy to just ride without any knowledge what it is) - Ford Anglia anyone ?

Hell, even driver of Knight Bus drives like drunken idiot and he is the person in Wizarding World that should know most about cars.

 

There is no reason to think that even the most pathetic wizard can survive impact of car when surprised and facing in wrong direction. Wizards are just human with magic that could unconsciously help them in these situations but not when they are old and trained ( like DD).

I just want to know reason why you think it is impossible for DD to die in some muggle way.

 

You want the most obvious one? Dumbledore wouldn't apparate into the middle of the fucking road!

 

Did you read what you just posted?

Now either you're calling Dumbledore pathetic, in which case I call troll.

Or, you are a troll.

A really pathetic wizard might just die if he appears in front of a speeding car, facing the wrong direction. A somewhat decent one might, too.

But Dumbledore? I highly doubt it. Even considering that he might not really anticipate that the Deluminator would drop him on a busy road, considering that he's not a tool, he'd have likely built the thing with some precautions in place, like no transporting over a cliff edge, or in the middle of a river just outside a boat/ship.

 

You're also forgetting the fact that the Deluminator is NOT a transportation device.

I always thought it worked more like GPS.

 

HP Lexicon :
When Ron then clicked the Deluminator, in addition to putting out the lights it made a ball of pulsing bluish light appear outside his window, resembling the light from a Portkey. When the ball of light floated into him - it was hot - it gave him the knowledge he needed to Apparate to their location. It did so again when he failed to make contact and activated it again (DH19).

Okay, I give up. As I see, apparently DD must have built safeguards into Deluminator (but no proof in canon) or he is no ordinary human because he just cannot be a victim of accident. I never claimed that he will apparate willingly to middle of road because Deluminator just gives knowledge, not shows place where to apparate to.

 

Muggles play soccer - Wizards fight dragons
Muggles drive cars - Wizards fly brooms, who are much faster and with no safety measures.

Do you see what I mean?

 

Your idea reminds me of this one fic where Vernon killed Dumbledore with a shotgun. I think it was written by Disobedience Writer.

Anyways, the idea that Dumbledore would did in a car accident while possible is highly improbable. As such, it would be okay if you were writing crack fic or a parody but from what I can tell your idea is for a serious story. And it is very hard to take any story seriously where Dumbledore dies in a road accident.

If you are actually thinking about writing a story with this idea. I would suggest writing a humourous story. You can show Harry's various adventures and misdemeanors after he picks up the Elder Wand from Dumbledore. Keep the story light and funny.