It'd be a tragedy, so rooting for the main character is iffy.

From a point of identification, Riddle would be frustrated with the slow thinkers around him and convinced of his deserving access to the secrets to power. Just thinking of it, it might reflect some of the attitudes put forth in Matt Wagner's Grendel.

Over the while, we'd see the choices he made that gave him the power he yearned for but robbed him of a sense of why he wanted it.

OC's- damn it. Aside from a bunch of coy shout-outs to famous figures being barely-hidden wizards, that would be the main burden.

See, that's why I ask first.

 

I've been planning out this story for a few weeks and am curious what you guys will think.

Chronologically at least, the story starts with a dark, pureblooded family realizing that their son is a squib. Ashamed of that fact, they abandon him in the muggle world and attempt to erase all proof of his existence. The squib grows up as a muggle but desperately wants to find out why he can't do magic and fix the problem.

Years later the first war against Voldemort has started and is not going well. The British muggle government is worried about their inability to fight this threat and so when the squib, who has spent the time gaining an education and looking for a scientific answer to his condition, comes to them with a proposal to research the possibility of giving muggles magical abilities they quickly agree. His research team is told as little as possible about what they are doing and remain ignorant of the existence of magic. After years of experimentation they finally succeed with a solution that has both magical and scientific parts. Their test subjects each develop a single magical ability which the scientists describe in muggle terms like telekinesis, telepathy, etc. However no matter what they do they can't find a way to give the test subjects more than one ability. Additionally multiples attempts to give abilities has negative effects on a person's mental health.

When the war with Voldemort ends the projects funding gets cut. As a result the research team begins using themselves as test subjects but the results remain the same. Two of the scientists marry and have a daughter. The daughter shows no signs of any special abilities. Then their first test subjects start dying and the research team realizes there is nothing they can do to stop it. Within a few years everyone who was a part of the experiment is dead, with the exception of the squib who somehow survived. The daughter is adopted by another researcher and friend of the dead couple who had decided against being a part of the testing.

Eventually the daughter begins developing multiple abilities, which her adoptive father begins studying. The squib finds out and wants to personally study her, but her father is reluctant to let him. The squib has experimented on himself multiple times over the years and he is mentally unbalanced because of it but he has managed to gain several more abilities. With the second rise of Voldemort the government is once again interested in his research and with this new funding he tries to force the girl into one of his labs. After a failed kidnapping attempt they start running and try to disappear. They have been on the run for a while when they meet Harry Potter who has very recently defeated Voldemort and it is here the story actually begins. Past events will be explained to him or shown in flashbacks.

From here Harry attempts to help them escape and stop the squib from coming after them. I have some ideas for after that but am still planning things. I know the dad won't live long. My problem is that parts of this feel far too similar to Firestarter which wasn't my initial intention. So do you guys think the idea has potential?

 

Ah, now I see what you're going for. Problem is, Tom Riddle is pretty much a textbook sociopath, which makes it a bit difficult to write it as a tragedy. Most people are just going to think, "Fucker got what was comin' to him."

Not impossible to write though.

 

My first question would be why, upon meeting Harry, the conflict isn't immediately resolved by the Ministry of Magic? This seems to be a clear violation of the Statute of Secrecy on top of some wizards naturally not wanting Muggles to have powers.

Also, this story reminds me of an interesting story I read that had young Harry haunted by a ghost that led him to a Muggle magic facility similar to the one described in your post. It involved the Delacours in some fashion and, I think, led to Harry going to Beauxbatons.

 

Fair point, but I always saw two different Riddles- the early version is Slytherin, deluxe model, complete with chip on the shoulder. By the time he's actual voicing opinions in the Little Hangleton graveyard, he's become a monster. Before he was just really damaged.

Maybe it becomes a question of 'was there a moment where he could have said 'No'?' and showing those moments, each one followed by an increasingly callous and self-involved megalomaniac.

Nah. Still stumbling. Back to the stew pot- this one isn't ready yet.

(edit: 200th post, and I declare defeat!)

 

That Slytherin student Riddle was already interested in Horcruxes and made his first one by killing a fellow student so... the moment he could've said no was pretty early on.

 

Well considering this is set soon after Deathly Hallows it would be easy to say the Ministry of Magic is in the process of completely rebuilding itself and has no desire to start a fight with the muggle government over what is a government approved program at that time.

 

Few things. Who is going to be the Protagonist? I get that you'd most likely spend a few chapters jumping from perspectives to establish the back story, but when it finally gets to the real meat of the story (that being Harry on the run with this girl) will it be from the daughter's perspective, or Harry's?

And, as ashura said, you'll have to flesh out the Ministry angle to make it work. Maybe even having Harry on the run from them because they, I don't know, want to exterminate the test subjects or something.

There's also the danger of her turning into a massive Mary-sue.

I can only picture this story being written as a fast paced thriller, which means you'd have to handle the beginning carefully.

Maybe have a short blurb explaining the existence of a program to grant muggles magic, then jump right into Harry's perspective and have him get dragged into the conflict. Then, after the initial scene, "OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK, what the hell is going on? Oh well, help the escaping test subjects," you have the daughter sit down and explain some shit to Harry.

Not a massive info dump or anything, but enough to dispel some of the readers confusion.

But yeah, I think it has potential, depending on how you write it.

Posty McPostwhore. lol

 

I'd like to see a story/oneshot with flashes from Riddle's life. Maybe starting with Dumbledore visiting the orphanage. Then the sorting. Riddle's interactions with students and teachers and ending with his first horcrux.

Working his way to become the liked-by-all student he supposedly was, while still showing a twisted side.

It all depends on how the characterisation would be executed but I think it could work. In the back of my mind is the story that recently made the library about Ginny writing in the diary.

 

It would be very interesting to read how every single horcrux he makes affects him, how he's slowly losing his humanity/sanity, forgetting about his initial goals and so on. It would probably be a characterization-centered fic, which is a nice change once in a while if it's well written. Go for it.

 

It will be told from Harry's perspective. I agree that it would have to be kept fast paced, and that has been my attention all along. I hadn't considered making the Ministry of Magic another force set against Harry and Co. but the idea makes a lot of sense and I like it.

You're right about the mary-sue potential with the daughter. I've thought about making it so she had been kidnapped and experimented on only to finally kill her guards, break free, and reunite with her father just before meeting Harry. That, of course, would have an impact on her personality and attitude.

 

What abilities do you plan to give her? That can vastly effect how her character feels. I mean, if her abilities are Superman-like in nature, people will most likely be turned off by the story.

I'd like to see you give her abilities that allow for a lot of misdirection. Mental abilities, aside from just telekenesis, like the ability to Obliviate people. Things that don't make her powerful in the, "I WILL FUCK YOU UP!" way, but quite scary in subtle ways.

"Oh, you're trying to capture me? Looks like you forgot how to walk."

That kind of thing.

These are just suggestions, though. Do you have anything in mind?

 

Mostly just things that have a magical equivalent but she can do wandlessly. Like telekinesis, telepathy as opposed to legilimency, maybe short distance or line of sight teleportation instead of apparition, etc. I will probably avoid pyrokinesis due to the Firestarter similarities. I had thought to give her some mind control type abilities, though probably closer to a Jedi mind trick than the Imperious. She won't be overpowered though.

 

Magical abilities?

So yes, magical abilities? Sounds like she's just an overblown Muggleborn, and Harry (with or without a friend or two, post-Voldemort) should wipe the fucking floor with this jumped-up Squib, honestly.

Maybe that's not where you're heading, or you're going more for a Push movie angle, but I suppose it could work, given the proper build-up of the Squib antagonist.

 

I actually really liked that movie. Was surprised that it actually had a plot, rather than just being about special effects.

 

Didn't see Push so I am not sure what similarities there may be. But no, the villian by himself is no match for a trained wizard in a fight and knows it. That doesn't mean he can't still be an effective opponent though if he uses his brain.

 

Mostly because it didn't have big enough budget for them. But I agree that it was surprising good.

As for my plot bunnies, last month I was watching Lethal Weapon series and thought that buddy cop idea could be great for young, maverick Auror Harry. Make him partner with by-the-book Shacklebolt and let them have many crazy action situations, like pursuit on brooms after suspect in the center of London (Obliviator will have much work because of these two).

Similar - how about Die Hard? Young Auror Potter comes to a party to reconcile with his estranged wife (Ginny?) when former Death Eaters under command of Severus Snape (see what I did there? ) take everyone as hostages for whatever reason. Now it's only Harry (and without his wand, let's make it more interesting) who can save hostages before Auror Moody decides to level this place.

 

Somebody give Celestin a thumbs up for me..

 

That makes no sense what so ever. Canon pretty much shows that wizards, while not all intolerant of Muggles like Voldemort, seem to generally like and respect the Statute of Secrecy --see Hagrid's brief explanation about why Wizards don't want to be bothered by Muggles in PS.

Basically, there is no reason why the wizarding world would turn a blind eye to the Muggle government experimenting with magic. If anything, the Ministry of Magic would go around oblivating everyone in the muggle government who had even heard about the project. They would then find the people the muggles experimented on and stomp them.

Hell, a more realistic, and lulzy, approach would be if the Ministry of Magic found out about this program, and, since they are still in the tenuous transition phase after Voldemort's defeat, used the Muggles as a way to bring the wizarding world together. That tactic been done several times by political bodies: unite the people by showing them a greater outside threat.

You could even write the story from Shacklebolt's perspective as Minister. He knows the program isn't a serious threat, but, politically, he needs a way to bring the country back together after Voldemort.

As for what you've got now. I hate the idea of Harry being chased by an angry Squib...I fail to see the relevant conflict at all. You've already said the Squib wouldn't be a challenge to a wizard, so that means he's going to use unorthodox measures. That, unfortunately, sounds like the start to another bullshit Technology/Muggle is better than Magic fic.

 

Derp, wrong thread.