Thrawn's good, but he's not perfect - not a fucking long shot. And keep in mind that he's not the heavy-hitting commanders that would be going against the Vong in the first place. We're talking about Tarkin, Vader, the Imperial Navy at its fucking finest. And yeah, the Empire is better prepared, but we're talking about an Empire at the height of some pretty fucking deplorable military commanders. Commanders who wouldn't hesitate to massacre planets if they thought it would cleanse the Vong faster. Commanders who would use the superlaser a hell of a lot more. And when there's genocide, there's one hell of a rebellion.

So yeah, I would writing this as the political nightmare that it is - I love those stories, and that's the way I'd write. The Alliance would indeed have a tough row to hoe, and frankly, with the anarchy of a Death Star unleashed, I'd love to see the monster Tarkin would become.

And rest assured, just because Zaroma Sekot exists (I can never spell that right...), doesn't mean I'm going to use it - or that the Empire knows where it is.

 

Ouirrell and Voldemort have decided to steal Philosopher´s Stone from Gringotts a little bit earlier. They arrive at Vault 713 just as Hagrid takes Stone from Vault´s protections.

Perhaps Quirrell quickly kills Griphook and Hagrid so Harry must run for his life with Stone from Quirrell in bowels of Gringotts amidst mobilisation of dragons and furious Goblins searching for intruder(s).

Perhaps the Stone was only a trap for Voldemort. After magical explosion Harry has to find the way to surface with only one magical tool at his disposal (Hagrid´s umbrella).

Perhaps Harry vanquishes Voldemort like in PS but he somehow absorbs PS (maybe he is injured and Stone touches his blood and changes into Elixir of Life that is absorbed into his bloodstream) and Harry becomes "Master of Life" and he can gain new powers or abilities (or just simple immortality without changing into Phoenix!Animagus) in more original way than finding out about his Gryffindor/Slytherin/Merlin/Magical creature etc. heritages.

Alternatively, Harry absorbs PS and gains Midas Curse.

There are many directions authors can take their stories with this slight divergence on 31 July 1991.

 

This would make an interesting oneshot.

The rest, I'm going to pretend I didn't read. It's just...meh. Harry could have Hagrid's umbrella, but that's basically a very crappy wand - Harry doesn't know any spells, so that's useless.

Absorbing the Stone for immortality? Harry's already immortal, thanks to the power of denial. I mean, deus ex machina. Thanks for that, Rowling. And the Midas curse? That's kinda pointless. Interesting at first, but pointless, and would quickly grow stale.

Just...ignore the second half of your post.

The first part, however, would make an interesting divergence in early canon - but NOT a story on its own, unless Harry runs into the secret underground goblin city, and is raised by them to hoard gold and loathe humanity - after several years, he emerges, with a bad haircut and poorly trimmed nails, to go on a homicidal rampage across the wizarding world, and lead his goblin brethren to glory and freedom.

Goblin rebellion!Harry? Communist-figurehead!Harry?

o_o

 

I'd totally read that oneshot. But communist? Goblins never struck me as communist. But yeah, I like the oneshot idea. I imagine an awesome escape sequence involving dragons, molten hot gold, and a horde of bloodthirsty goblins.

Besides, goblins wouldn't raise Harry as a goblin. Unless they're retarded, which I haven't seen evidence of. Imagine the moral blow it would be to see the hero of the wizarding world leading a war against said wizarding world. Anyone with any savvy at all would use Harry that way. Perhaps I give the goblins too much credit, but I believe they have plenty of savvy.

 

Goblins as communists!? You know that they run a bank and are obsessed with wealth, right?

But I'd totally read that one-shot too. You could even extend it into a mini-fic with Harry trying to escape Gringotts in a hardcore do-anything-to-survive story. I kind of envision it as the last scene of 28 Days Later, with Harry going all rapid animal to kill Goblins (who are trying to kill him because he 'stole' the Philosopher's Stone), since he can't use magic.

Could be awesome.

 

What'choo talkin' 'bout brah?? I would totally read the shit out of WizardMon's story. All of it. Whether it's crack or serious fiction, short or long.

And do you know why? Because it's friggin' awesome. Imagine an intense thriller based around a boy's desperate quest to escape Gringotts - the only weapon at his disposal is a man's near-useless broken hoarded wand to a boy who doesn't even know how to do magic. What lies in his way: all of Gringotts famous protections. An army of vicious goblins are mobilised to hunt them, a plethora of deadly traps are primed to kill him thoroughly dead at the first mistake he makes, the door-guards are fucking dragons, and the only man in a position to help him is the man who wants him dead the most.

And do you know why he's going to survive? Because he's Harry Fucking Potter, that's why.

 

Because the only thing stupider than Voldemort was how he died. His logic is dumb as rocks, for all the supposed intelligence he showed. I barely wanted to read that the first time, let alone watch it be written.

 

Die Hard - Gringotts.

"POTTER! AVADA KEDAVRA!"

"How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?"

Coming soon - 2012.

 

Sounds like a video game... from the ninties.

 

Can that "useless" shit. JKR never bothered to mention Hagrid's real name: John Steed, working deep under cover. That umbrella of his is not only a wand, but also a sword, a blow gun, and who knows what else. Professor Sprout, incidentally, is Emma Peel, similarly placed. You think the plant mistress doesn't park her Lotus under a Glamour out by those greenhouses? The bitch packs heat.

Harry Potter/The Avengers FTFW.

 

Thank you.

I can now cross "Ill-timed erection at thoughts of Emma Peel ruins world peace conference." off my extensive list of fears.

Forever.

Now if only we could cross "Steed+Half Giant = Horse Cock" off our list of intrusive thoughts.

 

You Death eater scum just totalled my ride!
*click clack*
Let's Rock

 

I believe we've found Joe's next Harry Potter story. :awesome

 

I see your Duke Nukem and I raise you one Doomguy.

 

I see your Doom and raise you a Contra.

 

I see your assorted comic book characters and raise you SARGENT FURY AND HIS FUCKING HOWLING COMMANDOS.



THESE MEN ARE NOT AFRAID TO GO WITHOUT UNDERWEAR.

DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY ARE HOWLING?
THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES. RASHES. IN THE GROIN. MANLY FUCKING GROIN RASHES.

WHY IS HITLER WAVING HIS ARMS AROUND?
THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES. HIS ARMS ARE SLUNG AROUND INVISIBLE WOMEN. HITLER IS A PIMP. A SCI-FI PIMP.

 

I raise you a T-RIP.



On the plot bunny front...

I had an idea earlier whilst browsing for Left 4 Dead/Harry Potter fan fiction:

Starts as an atypical 'Harry in Azkaban' plot: thrown away, betrayed, yadiyada, proven innocent over ten years later (circa 2008/9), tells the wizarding world and his old 'friends' to go fuck themselves despite them willing to kiss his feet, ends up wandering America for about a year, avoiding the Order, Death Eaters etc, and eventually coming to Fairfield. Bam, the Infection hits.

Plays along the Left 4 Dead 1/into 2 storyline with Harry being a fifth survivor, balancing magic and firearms. Meanwhile, Death Eaters and the Order are trying to find/bring in Harry, and they're stuck in the middle of it all, too.

 

I had a similar idea, for an original fiction I was working on.
Until Rowling's character decided to have many of the same characteristics as the focus character I had planned for mine.

it was based on a secret para-military organisation of psionics, hidden from the regular world and the threats they face and keeps us ignorant of, as well as training it up in an academy of sorts.

I was all like. Fuck.

your quote reminded me of some of the "bad guys" in it who were all zombified due to the development of an atomic weapon, that had been enhanced by a psyonic wave generator.

 

Attention, everyone: Palindrome has officially gone off her meds. THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES, OFF HER FUCKING MEDS.

 

Fucking lol. This is why I shouldn't post at horrible times in the morning.