Them's fighting words where I come from, son.

 

I'm out of thumbs.

Dugtrio is /the boss/, motherfuckers.

 

It's somewhat cool, but it's also an incredibly lazy design. Just like a good quarter of the Gen I pokemon.

 

You're looking at it from the wrong perspective - Nintendo wants Pokemon to appeal to girls too. It's why a female trainer option was introduced fairly early on in the series. Cute/baby pokemon are obviously intended to appeal to that demographic, same with that "dress up show" thing they added. I agree these prevolutions could use some some battle purpose (unique abilities or stat allocations or synergies that make them tantalizing) - like I wish I could use Surskit or Pichu in a serious manner - but there's nothing inherently wrong with fleshing out some evolution lines.

 

...the brilliance of the Gen I and ostensibly the Gen II designs is their simplicity, you jag. Every one of them is distinctive without being complicated or convoluted (I'm lookin' at you, Gen 3 Legendaries with weird patterns all over your fuckin' bodies), and it's easily evident what the Pokemon are supposed to be good at and what their inspirations were for the most part.

Diglett? It's a little diggy thing. Dugtrio? It's a souped up little diggy thing. Grimer ? Living sludge. Muk? Bigger, badder living sludge.

But hey, to each their own.

 

It's not even a souped up diggy thing. They took one diglett, added two more, and then added a frowny face. Amazing.

 

Diglett alone was lazy design. It's one of the very few pokemon anyone can draw and they can do it in a few seconds as well.

Then there's Dugtrio, where three Diglett stay together. It's silly, stupid, poor design. I think complaining about garbodor when you like three underdesigned moles in a pack is silly.

I don't think that it's fleshing out the evolutionary lines when you have to breed with a special item to get a pokemon you wouldn't use for anything except for completing the pokedex. Although I wasn't taking into account the pokemon competitions, admittedly.

 

...That's not souping it up? It also looks angry. Hella angry.

Besides, it can fuck you up, and fuck you up real good at that.

 

Well yeah, but I'm pretty sure Pidgey could fuck me up.

 

It flies at like mach 4 or something really rlly fast.

 

Now I like Dragonite, dude is a boss, but his design doesn't really make a lot of sense. Imagine if Dratini -> Dragonair -> Dragonite was released in a later Gen.

Imagine the level of butt-hurt.

Gen 1 gets a pass from criticism because everyone was 10 years old when it was released + nostalgia.

 

http://pokebeach.com/2013/05/supposed-pokemon-x-and-y-insider-information

From a source that has supposedly released information (that the site kept from releasing just in case) which was later verified by official leaks. He thinks this is real but cautions that there is a small chance he's being duped.

 

I wouldn't. That's not what Pokemon is. Pokemon is not that, and will never be that, either. I don't even know why you would want that. I don't want to join any of the Teams; they're incompetent retards with shitty plans and an operating procedure that always works as follows:

Step 1: Be the biggest dicks imaginable to everyone in a G-Rated manner.

Step 2: Try and take over the world/usher in the revolution.

Step 3: Fail because some kid with hardly any pubic hair just so happened to take the same Routes that all of our key operatives were standing around on.

Why would you want to join them? That's like saying Super Mario is shit because you never get to play as a Goomba or Koopa and try to take over the Mushroom Kingdom with Bowser. Except for the part where that actually sounds like it might be fun, whereas being a Team Whatever member wouldn't be, because Bowser at least has style and doesn't always lose. The Teams are a bunch of clowns and they never win. I don't know why you'd think joining them would be fun, unless you're twelve and still think rebellion is the coolest thing ever.

And I don't know why the shit you think it would be cool to play as a Gym Leader. Yes, let's stand around all day in the same goddamn room and wait for a bunch of punkass kids to come by and try and take my badge, like I'm some kind of glorified carnie and they need my ticket stamp for the scavenger hunt. That wouldn't be boring and feasibly impossible to actually put into the game in any way, shape, or form.

I am. And I'm not seeing it.

One of the Gen Vs is a pile of scribble garbage. Another one is an ice cream cone. There is a Ghost/Fire, but instead of looking badass, it's a fucking chandelier.

I'll take Puff the Magic Dragon over Did Someone Eat a Crayon Box And Vomit any day.

Diglett wasn't a lazy design. It was a simple design. A lazy design is seeing an ice cream cone and saying "slap some eyes on it, that's a Pokemon."

There's a difference between minimalistic design and being lazy. Gen I Pokemon all started out relatively simple. Before you cry and get butthurt, try to keep in mind that Pokemon was for the original goddamn gameboy. High fidelity this ain't. The Pokemon designs had to be unique, interesting, but not so complex that they looked like a giant smear of lines on the screen. Gen I accomplished that.

Each successive Generation added more detail to the Pokemon, to mixed results. In the beginning, it was a mostly positive thing. Gen II was like the darker and edgier remix of Gen I in terms of art, and everybody loved it.

Gen III was the high point of Pokemon in terms of art, and by that I mean this was where Pokemon had reached just the right balance of complexity versus simplicity in terms of design. Pokemon could be complex looking, but they were not overly so, and most Pokemon designs were still extremely unique. No Pokemon looked like they "didn't belong," not even the poorly designed ones. Everything in the game looked like a Pokemon.

Gen IV was where things started to go downhill, because it started implimenting Pokemon that were visually complex merely for complexities own sake, and not complex because that actually made them look better. Gen IV gave us things like Vespiqueen and Rhyperior, which were extremely 'busy' visually, and didn't look quite right, and things like Drapion and Carnivine, which quite frankly don't even look like Pokemon at all. These instances were not the rule in Gen IV, but there were enough cases of it to cause worry, especially where it concerned the Legendaries, which were all extremely 'busy' and overly complex in their design.

And then there is Gen V, which continued all of the worst trends of Gen IV, and has the laziest and absolute worst Pokemon designs out of all of the generations thus far, period, no question, no discussion. I don't care how butthurt you are about it. The new Pokedex listings look like somebody took a bunch of preschool scribblings, Digimon stickers, magazine cut-outs of household appliances, and a stack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards, shook them all together in a lunch box, and then dumped them across the table and to be arranged on a poster board by a group of extremely young children as part of some kind of esoteric art project for school.

Over two thirds of them do not even look like Pokemon. Some of them don't even look like Digimon, and not to rag on Digimon, because I love Digimon, but their standards are so low that you could attach five broom sticks together with a nail gun and hot glue, throw a shirt on it, and call it a Scarecrow-Type. This is the series that considers it perfectly acceptable to just take a dog and give it biker tattoos and attach rocket pods to it's shoulders.

I see you saying this about Diglette and Dugtrio:

But you're apparently willing to overlook or ignore the chandelier, ice cream cone, and pile of garbage that was vomited on by a small child that had devoured what must have been at least seventeen cartons of crayons immediately prior, and I have to wonder just how deep your retroactive dislike for old things must run for you to say that with a straight face.

You want silly, stupid, lazy, poor design? Generation V is the only gen where somebody could have slapped googley eyes on a yellow toaster and told everyone it was a hidden Electric Legendary Pokemon, and nobody would have immediately called bullshit. That is how shit Gen V is. That is how hard they were scraping the bottom of the artistic barrel; they were literally greenlighting sticking smiley faces on random inanimate objects just to fill out the fucking roster.

Diglette is genius on par with discovering old lab notes and equations confirming that Tesla's claims of wirelessly transmitting electricity wasn't the insanity talking compared to some of the shit Gen V cranked out.

Anything that wasn't weird looking, didn't look like it was a Pokemon at all, and anything that wasn't weird or un-Pokemon-ish looked like something an untalented artist with a severe hangover would turn in because they forgot that they needed to come up with ten new Pokemon designs by the end of the month, which is tomorrow, and they just realized it at 11:59 p.m.

I'll take Muk, Dugtrio, and Magnemite over any-fucking-thing in Gen V any day, no questions fucking asked. Because if Magnemite had been created in Gen V, it would have either been some kind of animal or humanoid made out of magnets like an executive desk toy Pokemon, or it would have just been a big horseshoe magnet with a face.

The only final evolution starter in Gen V that doesn't look like shit is the Pig that became fire/fighting, and you cannot try and pretend that this is remotely okay.

Oh, and since I'm already ranting about it, I'm going to go ahead and say it right now.

Dragonite? That guy you think is stupid looking?

He's the best looking Tier-3 Dragon Pokemon in existence.

Salemence was a disappointment and would have looked better bipedal, Garchomp is impossibly retarded looking, Haxorus doesn't even look like a final form Dragon, but a second-tier 'pupa' form that's waiting to evolve into something better looking, and Hydreigon I can't even take seriously, because it doesn't even look like a Dragon type at all, to the point that I would consider it a Dark/Ghost before I thought of it as a Dark/Dragon.

The only truly good looking one is Gen II's Tyranitar, and he's not even a goddamn Dragon-type. So he's not even really in the running from a technical standpoint, so when you line all of the others up in a row and exclude Tyranitar by technicality, guess what?

Dragonite takes the blue ribbon home for best in show.

If somebody asked me to build a dragon-themed Pokemon team, you know what my roster would look like?

Charizard

Tyranitar

Gyrados

Dragonite

Aggron

Sceptile

You notice the pattern, here? Most of these guys aren't Dragon types, partially because up until recently, Dragon types were actually quite rare, but there's another common denominator at play here.

My picks all look like dragons, and they also look like badasses.

This is an intimidating fucking lineup. As far as Dragon Typing goes, this is an eight hundred pound gorilla situation. Are you going to tell Tyranitar, Aggron, or Charizard that they aren't actually Dragon types? Because I'm not having that conversation with Gyrados. You have fun with that. I'll be on the other side of the mountain range where it's relatively safe.

None of the new "True" dragons are in that lineup. Why? Because all of them are visually disappointing to me. Not all of them look like Dragons, and of the ones that do, they don't really look like badasses. The closest runner-up is Salamence, but even he looks like he's actually only the size of a computer keyboard and had a bad run in with a frying pan during a key developmental point of his spine. I'm trying to articulate that he is squashed-looking. He is. He is flattened, walks definitively on all-fours, and looks the worse for it. He would have looked much better in my opinion if he sported his current appearance, details, and color scheme, but had Haxorus's posture and torso shape, as that implies that would imply that he could move on all fours or on his hind legs as necessary, which is a nice middle ground to be in if you're a dragon.

So yeah. Dragonite is the best looking one, and he's the one that looks most like a stuffed animal. That should tell you something about the rest of them.

 

Yep it's me that's butthurt.
No really though, have a midol, eat a brownie, and calm the fuck down.

I don't dislike Gen I, I just don't think that anyone who isn't wearing rose-colored nostalgia goggles can say that magnets with eyes or a brown hill with eyes are somehow great art while garbodor is poor design.

I know that reading comprehension is extremely difficult through the indescribable rage you feel, but I actually said that

Immediately followed by:

.

But if you can remove the digglet-painted-dildo out of your asshole for two seconds, maybe you can understand that I was saying that all generations had stupid pokemon and the only reason you can't see that is because you're too busy masturbating to the idea of a dragonite yiffing your face in.

Then the nostalgia is strong in this one, because your blatant generalization about the entirety of Gen V is stupid.

Sawsbuck is fucking majestic.

There are lots of others that I like, but it all comes down to opinion. Feel free to have yours.

But since you don't have flygon on your dragon team, I know it's just bad taste.

 

Fuck this thread and what it devolved into.:fire

I want to stay excited for X and Y. Not this.

 

Uh, what? How would you know? Do you work at GameFreak? I'm sure with all the vitriol you've been spewing that you never imagined Pokemon designs would be as they were in Gen V either. Things change, for better and for worse. And besides, there's nothing saying that we can't keep what makes Pokemon great and add some fun new mechanics onto it.

Then don't join them. What I'm looking for is the option to join them if I wish. Also, the fact of the matter is that terrible plans or not everyone is always scared shitless of the various teams aside from the elite (gym leaders and such) until we, the protag, step in. If we were on their side instead, suddenly their chance of success in their conquest of choice skyrockets.

Once again, don't be one. Just because you don't want to be a gym leader or a member of a Team doesn't mean somebody else won't. Do you really think your desires in a Pokemon game are the only legitimate ones? And anyway, I was thinking of a more Giovanni-esque gym leadership, where you can leave and do the stuff you want in between battles. I would honestly be fine with them making it similar to the Battle Frontier, where you accept a bunch of challengers per day or whatever, and then are free to do whatever you want until the next string (this would also make it pretty simple to implement into the game).

Why are you so angry about this, anyway? Nobody would force you to walk these alternate paths if you just wanted to run linear Pokemon for the rest of your life, so why act so offended that other people have different interests in Pokemon games than you do?

Also, this. Sceptile over Flygon? u wot m8

 

EDIT: Y'know what? I'm really not contributing anything with the majority of the post. So I'ma just leave the ending here instead, and add that I'm liking Gen VI more or less at the moment. That Panda is so going on my team.

---

I suppose my point is, with each successive generation, GameFreak has widened the borders of what they want to try and introduce us to. They haven't always hit it out of the park in that regard, but when they do, they still hit grand-slams.

 

Just so you all can have more to whine about:

Link here if you want to watch the sketch for yourself.

 

Son, I said I wanted a team of badasses, not a team of things I could stomp on with my boot.

You'd put a bug on your team of dragons, and I'm the one with shit-tier taste?

I am excited for X and Y. It doesn't look like Gen V. It looks like the art is somewhere between Gen III and Gen IV in terms of quality, and that's a definite improvement. They are moving the sliding scale back towards the point where they attained their zen balance. At the moment, X and Y looks like a very good thing.

 

Man, fuck that. Chandelure is awesome.