1. Hey Guest, welcome back to DLP

    As you can see, we've changed our look. We've migrated from vBulletin to the Xenforo forum system. There may be issues or missing functionality, if you find anything or have feedback, please check out the new Xenforo Migration Feedback forum.

    Our dark ("Dark Lord Potter") theme is under heavy development. We also have a light ("Light Lord Potter") theme for those happier with a light background and darker text.

    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Hey Guest! Are you any good at cooking? Got a favourite recipe that you love to cook or bring out to impress that special someone? Why not share it! A new forum called The Burrow has opened and it's all about homemaking!

Complete Postnuptial Disagreements by Zalgo Jenkins - T - Fate/Zero x Sekirei

Discussion in 'Fate/Stay Night' started by KillerEggLord, May 30, 2012.

  1. KillerEggLord

    KillerEggLord Third Year

    Joined:
    May 12, 2008
    Messages:
    108
    Location:
    Denver, Colorado
    Title: Postnuptial Disagreements
    Author: Zalgo Jenkins
    Rating: T
    Fandom: Fate/Zero x Sekirei
    Pairing: Meriwether Archibald (OC) X Benitsubasa (#105)
    Chapters: 28
    Words: 87,727
    Updated: July 20, 2012
    Published: May 1, 2012
    Status: Complete

    Summary: Years after his parents survived Heaven's Feel, the son of Kayneth and Sola-Ui finds himself in a different sort of supernatural tournament. But can he survive superpowered alien females, scheming businessmen, and his own partner's urge to strangle him?

    Link

    This story is fantastic,

    The hook: What happens if you take a traditional, techno-phobic, racist, psychopathic magus and put him into the Sekirei plan? Hijinks most definitely ensue.

    Chief selling point is Meriwether, who is very well characterized. His interactions and general magus-ness are hysterical. The story doesn't rely on that one track alone though, it is fast paced as an action story of a Grimmer Darker Sekirei Plan, and the reverse of Meriwether's madness is the poignant situation of Benitsubasa and the other Sekirei in general.

    It doesn't hold your hand with the the background details for Sekirei or Nasuverse, though it assumes more knowledge of the Nasuverse stuff then of the Sekirei. If you've read In Flight though, or are comfortable with a bit of Wiki-fu you should be fine. Specific knowledge of Fate/Zero especially isn't required.

    Overall a really excellent story that is presently nearing its climax.

    5/5


    Checked by Minion, Nov. 25, 2012
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 25, 2012
  2. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
    Messages:
    3,999
    Location:
    Australia
    Seconded. If In Flight was too unfocused or slow for you, then this is the cure.

    4/5. I might bump it up after it finishes and I re-read.
     
  3. Dullahan

    Dullahan Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Nov 7, 2010
    Messages:
    133
    Definitely an entertaining read. Writing is firm, content is streamlined, and the protagonist is developed wonderfully.

    Unfortunately, my personal tastes regarding endings (which is not established, but is being heavily leaned towards), prevents me from giving a higher rating than this.

    4/5
     
  4. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2008
    Messages:
    1,447
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Been reading this. Posted it in Other Almost Recommendable Fanfiction, but in retrospect, I'm quite happy to give this a 4/5. Especially after the last few chapters.

    Unlike Shirou in In Flight (and well, most fanfics), Meriwether seems to be consistently underestimating his competition and just pissing off everyone with his underhanded tactics, causing more problems for himself.

    His complete cluelessness with Benitsubasa's feelings are hilarious. Very common in anime, but usually not with a character like this.

    Pissed off Miya is badass. None of this bullshit about Hannya masks appearing behind her or anything. Just her walking in and killing everyone.

    Benitsubasa's death was such an epic turning point. I don't like the way he has the ability to just bring his sekirei back to life again like that. Kinda destroys the impact of her dying in the first place.

    And one last thing. In 8 days we saw 7 updates. We've had a 3 day break since then, but still, that's awesome. =P
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2012
  5. TMNTurtwig

    TMNTurtwig Professor

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2011
    Messages:
    410
    Pretty damn epic. In the almost recommended thread I gave this story a 3.5; since then, some amazing shit has happened that made me bump it up into a full four. Meriwether is awesome and he's totally running on suicidal "Attack of the Cornered Rat" energy. Epic. 4/5
     
  6. KillerEggLord

    KillerEggLord Third Year

    Joined:
    May 12, 2008
    Messages:
    108
    Location:
    Denver, Colorado
    He doesn't brink them back to life as Sekirei, but as zombie familars. It isn't like he magically gets Benitsubasa back.

    Plus I think the ability of the Jinki to restore dead Sekirei is one of their cannon powers
     
  7. Orm Embar

    Orm Embar Auror

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2008
    Messages:
    605
    Location:
    On the shores of Selidor
    "You believe you're a duck." Fucking gold... I burst out laughing.
    Edit: Also, your link has an extraneous "http/" at the beginning.
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2012
  8. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2008
    Messages:
    1,447
    Location:
    Melbourne
    And after a "long", 4 day wait we have another update.

    I have to admit, this is the first time I've seen Kayneth being epic. A whole bunch of dead Sekirei and Ashikabi can attest to that.
     
  9. KillerEggLord

    KillerEggLord Third Year

    Joined:
    May 12, 2008
    Messages:
    108
    Location:
    Denver, Colorado
    Never bring a Katana to a sentient blob of Mercury fight.

    Link should be fixed.
     
  10. Lamora

    Lamora Definitely Not Batman

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2009
    Messages:
    978
    Location:
    Wild blue yonder
    I'll support this being a damn entertaining read. 4/5. It's nothing to write home about, but it's a hell of a fun time.
     
  11. Legacy

    Legacy Unspeakable DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2010
    Messages:
    741
    Ya I'm definitely enjoying this so far. Meriwether is an interesting protagonist to read with some rather amusing flaws, I damn well hope Benitsuba comes back, and holy crap there is plot movement in this crossover! I think In Flight has been replaced.
     
  12. Mutton

    Mutton Auror

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2011
    Messages:
    654
    I definitely prefer this to In Flight. While it does start off with somewhat of a dense protagonist in regards to your standard anime love cliches, it actually ends up making a hell of a lot of sense

    That being that the whole "Sekrei fall in love at first sight and unconditionally" makes him feel like he's taking advantage of a mentally disabled girl and puts off somewhat of a rape vibe for him

    4/5, very enjoyable and the last chapter was a damn lot of fun
     
  13. iLost

    iLost Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2009
    Messages:
    1,257
    Yeah, I have to agree, this fic is a lot of fun. Some really strong characterizations in it. Meriweather in particular is hilarious at times. In the post above, when that happened in the fic I died laughing. It does get a little old after a fashion, but I still laughed a lot.

    The plot is picking up, almost too fast with the recent chapters, almost like he's lost control of it. I can't complain about the pacing too much, sense I got to see...

    Miya kick everyone's ass. I have been wanting to see that for the longest time, even more so since it seemed In Flight had the chance to, but dropped the ball. That scene was probably my favorite of the entire thing.

    As to the ending, just from the way he's portrayed the characters and how they have developed I get a feeling it's going to end in a happy ever after.

    Also since it seems the plot as conveniently taken out everyone that could possibly spill the beans on him being a magus.

    Either way, it's a 5/5 for me.
     
  14. DrSarcasm

    DrSarcasm Auror

    Joined:
    May 16, 2010
    Messages:
    678
    Gender:
    Male
    I admit, I really like this fic. It is, as has been said, able to get a coherent story across far better than In Flight can, and the characterization is great. The magus disdain for anything modern biting him in the ass, the overly-cultured aristocratic elitism rubbing the common man the wrong way, the sheltered obliviousness and low-key utilitarian magic make for an interesting character.

    I had two main problems with this story, though. First, the working knowledge of magic spread FAR too quickly and completely. All it took was a few satellite videos to spark interest, then a demolishing retrieval of a magus bookstore of introductory texts, and about two chapters later every Ashikabi and Sekirei in the game knows the ins and outs of basic magecraft. Granted, most can't use it themselves and the knowledge is the basic of the basic, but Karasuba being able to read the books, discover how to manipulate prana and then use that knowledge to modify a tantric ritual to supercharge her Norito, all without instruction by a senior magus and in less than--what? a week? Really?

    Secondly, and this is more a minor grievance than the other, the fights use the description of running low on od at least three times per fight. It should be mentioned like the low-fuel indicator on your car's fuel tank--when you are actually getting pretty low on fuel. Not at each quarter-tank mark.

    Overall though, it has great characterization, a funny-ish storyline when needed and a darker storyline when appropriate. 4/5.
     
  15. iLost

    iLost Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2009
    Messages:
    1,257
    Well, it's got a few omake chapters and then an epilogue. So it's done and hot damn was it a fun ride. There were a few problems, as others have already outlines above, but for the most part it succeeded for being a great read. It has it all where it counts.

    Great characterization, nothing original but still well portrayed.
    Interesting plot that didn't follow the anime, and thank-you God for that.
    And last, it was very well written, which being in first person went hand-in-hand.

    So, for me, it's a no-brainer 5/5.

    Plus, there was a hint of a sequel in the epilogue, which I would not mind in the least reading. Rin with Gilgamesh? I think that would be interesting. I think the guy could pull-off a very interesting Fifth Grail War with what he's got cooked-up in this AU. Also, the way he integrated the main character's own mistakes leading into the next Grail Was was rather genius.
     
  16. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    943
    Location:
    Department of Post-Mortem Communications
    High Score:
    2,101
    Am going to ask a similar question I asked for In Flight:

    Are there going to be Servants and the like in this story or just one magus? Because to me, the biggest appeal, after the Servant characters is the Master/Servant concept of summoning a legendary hero, does this story have that?
     
  17. yak

    yak Moderator Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
    Messages:
    3,999
    Location:
    Australia
    This is not a war for the Holy Grail, so there's no servants to be summoned. The potential sequel is set during the War, so masters and servants will be a part of it.

    That said, the relationship between Archibald and Benitsubasa is not entirely unlike a Master/Servant relationship. You might find what you're looking for there. It's very different to In Flight.
     
  18. Lamora

    Lamora Definitely Not Batman

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2009
    Messages:
    978
    Location:
    Wild blue yonder
    I'm revising my vote to a 5/5. This fic is great. The protagonist is just so magus as fuck. I'm well at the 'sacrifice small animals in prayer for a sequel' phase. There's not nearly enough good FSN and FZ fiction out there, let alone Sekirei.
     
  19. iLost

    iLost Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2009
    Messages:
    1,257
    Could not agree more. The fact he used an OC and a side-character and fleshed them out so well speaks well for this fic. The resulting sequel, if there is to be one, I hope will be just as good.

    I can see it having a few problems, seven plots versus just the few here. I can see him losing control of it as well, as he almost did towards the end in Postnupitials. Plus, there is the problem of where their relationship could go from , since that was a huge draw for me.

    I'm not saying the sequel will be bad, I'm still looking forward to it, just that there are several landmines waiting for the author in the conceptual stages I'd rather he avoided.
     
  20. Ayreon

    Ayreon Unspeakable DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2006
    Messages:
    764
    Location:
    Germany
    I recently read this story and really enjoyed it.
    I didn't know much about Fate/Zero or Sekirei, which is why I avoided the story when it was first posted, but it was great even without that knowledge.

    I looked up some of the characters, when I felt it was necessary, but otherwise context and some cultural awareness of anime was enough to understand it.

    Meriwether, as such an arrogant asshole, was really a joy to read. Characterization of the other characters was good too.
    There were a lot of asymmetric and unfair match-ups in this story, which actually seemed more realistic and made it very suspenseful.
    It also had a comfortable length at the size of a normal novel. I'm not sure if I would have still enjoyed it at epic length. Although I wouldn't mind a sequel now with a new story-line.

    There are some weaker parts at the beginning and middle of the story, but the escalation and climax later on make it a 5/5 from me.