US Standard system is not used anywhere else in the world. Everyone else uses metric. We're just assholes who dont want to conform, therefore messing up everybody else when we want to collaborate. Ie. the Mars lander that, instead of landing, plunged into the surface destroying it because some idiot scientist forgot to convert the measurements.



* Harry will not fall in "love" ( I use the term loosely) with a girl he remembers from primary school. With Dudley around, I dont think many girls got to know him.

 

I did it in Gen Chem but I came to love it in Thermo. When your boiler is rated in BTUs/hour, your turbine in watts, and your condensor in something else... Let's just say I hated my Thermo Professor and leave it at that.

 

- Harry does not have a long-lost younger sister who falls in love with Draco and manages to turn that son-of-a-whore into a light soldier...

- Serverus Snape was never (and never will be) a god-like man with a body like Hercules and the sex appeal of a veela. He is just a greasy potions man who has his head up Dumbledor's ass.

[EDIT] - new point

- The squid in the lake is just that, a squid in a lake. It is not the animagus form of Merlin or Gryffindor.

 

What fics are you reading that this is a common problem? I once read a fic where it was Dumbledore's old pet before fawkes but I've never seen one where it is anything but a squid.

 

I really don't remember....It was something like... Harry Potter and the Hidden (insert word here) - I don't remember what it was.
but it was just so .. wrong

 

That sounds like an amusing sub-plot, as well as original. Though I could see it going awary very easily. As the cattif said, What the hell are you reading? At any rate;

-If Harry travels back in time, he will be more experienced. His _______(intelligence, power, insert adjective) how ever, will remain at the same level it was at before time travel. Time travel does not cause a metamophasis from Indy!Harry into Demi-God!Harry instantly

 

haha. It was one of the first fics i read. I was young, impressonable and naive. lol

 

Intelligence I can understand, since you can't really have him go back in time with 700 years of experience but not be potty trained. His power levels/spell casting ability/whatever you want to call it should be at the same level it was before. If he is studying magic it should be either theory only or magic somebody at his age can cast.

Keeping with the time travel motif:

-If he goes back in time to when he's still a kid, and he talks like a Rhodes scholar or starts predicting people or acting like somebody who is 50 years older, people should look at him like he's insane.

-Harry needs a childhood. If you send him back in time and don't have him with the Dursleys, give him some free time. Four year olds don't have every minute of their life planned, let him relax a bit.

-Harry (or anybody else) shouldn't be able to learn French, Spanish, German, Italian, how to play the Piano, Violin, and become a black belt in Karate in one year. Becoming a Black Belt alone takes 3-6 years, and in most disciplines you have to be 16 years or older. Do some research before you make him into ICanDoEverything!!!Harry

 

Also on the time-travel theme;
If baby!Harry, or Amnesia!Harry goes back in time to the time of the founders or the time of Merlin (which in itself is a bad thing), he should grow up and think like people in that time did. For example, he may be prejudiced against women, extremely arrogent etc.

Also, if Harry travels back in time to Merlins time, Founders time, ancient Rome etc. please remember that electricity had not been invented then, also, though the Rolling Stones are old, they did not exist back in the roman empire, nor did any other rock group.

 

Dudley will never understand

 

I'd like to see a story where Harry's thinking is actually limited by his young or infant brain. This has to be specifically mentioned.

If he is a newborn, his 'moments of clarity' would have to be extremely short and far in between, his brain small and unable to handle such complex thoughts for long or at all.

He would be unable to properly be concious until he is like five or six, and even then be easily distracted and lured into thought of things children his own age would actually like to do. Have him fight to urge to play with blocks or something.

Would be a realistic twist.

 

Now this could be an interesting side-plot.

"A woman with a wand? As a teacher? Since when has that been allowed?"

"Since 1285 you SOB. What are you, from the Middle Ages?"

"..."


Also: Harry Potter is not "a very intelligent baby".

 

• Upon entering a room Harry does not cause females to swoon, have spontaneous orgasms, or to break out into random cat fights. He is an average looking teenager with no muscle development and glasses.

• Authors who have not engaged in sex in real life (the internet doesn’t count) are forbidden from writing sex scenes. It’s obvious, amusing for the reader, and embarrassing for you.

 

Harry Potter will never utter one of the following phrases:
- I forgive you Tom/Snape/Malfoy/Ginny/etc. (unless this phrase is followed by word NOT! and a kick in an groin or nose)
- I love you Ginny/Tom/Snape/Malfoy/random ugly chick. (unless this phrase is followed by word NOT! and a kick in an groin or nose)

Harry Potter will never feal bad about torturing Dursley's into insanity or killing them.

 

Shouldn't even start becuase most people would exit before they saw the NOT.

Hermione will never become beautiful over the summer and Ginny won't have "really grown up over the years"

 

That would be interesting, I think it was in a challenge a while back, does anyone know if it was actually written?

 

An addendum to that:

• Harry is one of the most famous wizards alive. When walking into a room with females his age they should flock to him like groupies, he has more fame than the Beatles and Princes of England combined.

 

I don't know if it's already been said, but how bout this:

- Muscles do not develop with two weeks of running. Especially upper body muscles. And you'd need protein too, not Mrs. Weasley's cakes.

- Instant messaging and e-mail in a magical school is ridiculous for the following reasons:

A. Computers apparently don't work too well within magical areas along
with cell phones, or pagers, and even if they did, a Pentium I isn't
that great. And Bricks aren't very attractive.

B. MSN Messenger wasn't invented until 1997, ICQ until late 1996, and
Yahoo! Messenger until about the year 2000.

C. If your gran can't program her bloody VCR, how is Dumbledore
supposed to be able to sign in to his e-mail account to have the
overused staff correspondences?

D. If Muggle schools don't let you e-mail and IM, why would magical
ones?

 

What fic did you get that one from? I have never seen anything like that in a fanfic. I did see one once that involved emails, but it was a very minor part.

 

Mordecai, search internet or computer on FF.net, it will come up with a couple of pages of results.