-Should Harry Potter possess god-like power he shall not sit on his butt doing nothing and chasing after redheads. He must use said powers to inflict horrible pain on his enemies.

 

This will also not make you sexy. Harry is in no way shape or form sexy. He will never get identical japanese triplets to fuck his brains out.

 

Pfft...so says you!

Actually, he is a handsome guy, in canon. No, i'm not refering to that abortion of a scene in HBP where Herman says "Well, people think Harry's HAWT!!!" or something to that effect.

Okay, James and Sirius were supposed to be heartbreakers, right? Dashingly handsome and oh-so-sexah that they played all the Hogwarts females...until 'Prongsie' fell for 'Lily-flower/Tiger Lily'. uke: And, Harry looks startlingly like James. Therefore, Harry will be handsome too, as long as he manages to put on some weight.

 

Ron Weasly is not a strategist.
The only use Ginny weasly (aka red-head-slut, cup dumpster....) possesses is Harry discovering he was love-potioned and practicing the art of kitchenware torture.
Harry did not score an O in his potion owl.
Harry must not be a pussy and show that somebody engraved something on the back of his hand.
Ginny is not, under any case and circumstance, a virgin after the age of 3.
Shopping for clothes in more than 3 lines is unacceptable.
In his decades of travelling, Voldemort learned more than 3 spells.

 

Correction: Harry Potter should not be lead blindly by anyone

 

How is Harry a handsome guy in canon? I understand that in fanon, we must make our Hero at least look the part, but canon!Harry is short, skinny, with horrible glasses, and wears Salvation Army chic clothing. He has no appreciable athleticism, since his only consistent physical activity is sitting on a flying stick. I am much more likely to attribute his popularity with the female population of Hogwarts to the Mick Jagger effect. Mick Jagger is an ugly motherfucker, but he is famous and rich, and therefore attractive to females.

 

He has nobby knees and horrible taste in women.

 

Well, given that voldemort already knew AK before seventh year...

Severus snape isn't mysetrious, or sexy, or anything beyond a greasy haired git.

 

Severus Snape will never wash his hair.

 

Lol, this reminds me of Chuck Norris facts...just replace the name Chuck Norris with Harry Potter:

-There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Harry Potter allows to live.

-The chief export of Harry Potter is Pain.

-Harry Potter drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

-When the Boggart goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Harry Potter.

-Harry Potter is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

-There is no such thing as global warming. Harry Potter was cold, so he turned the sun up.

-When Harry Potter does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. (The funny thing about this last one is the fact that anyone who has done physics knows that it's true...)

 

Hary Potter does not Teabag women.....he potato sacks them

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teabagging LOL

 

Still, the way they are written reminds you of Chuck Norris facts:

OK, I'll do one properly.

- Almost every girl at Hogwarts around Harry's age, and older, (exceptions are Ginny, Hermione...thats about it) will be hot and desperate for porn-like sex from said boy-hero.

-In HBP, if it wasn't a bad dream, Harry was only faking being useless at magic and falling in love with the ginslut. In reality, he was training himself/studying hard, behind the scenes, as part of a complex plot to make everyone underestimate him.

-Harry's failure to learn Occlumency is always Snape's fault, and has nothing to do with inability on Harry's part.

 

The main figures are Harry, Dumbledore and Voldemort. All others are to be secondary.

 

Err...yes, he has knobbly knees and chunky glasses. That doesn't mean that he has an ugly face.

I didn't say Canon!Harry is TEH HAWTTIE!!!!111!!1!11!!1111!

I said Canon!Harry is handsome. Which, if he looks like his father, he is. He is NOT well built, and i didn't say that at all. I DID say that he would be 'handsome if he put on some weight'.

That was a mistake, instead of 'handsome' there, i meant 'attractive/sexah/whatever you wanna call it'. If he puts on weight, and by that i mean muscle, not flab, then he will look more like his father did...handsome and attractive.

And Mr. Merriman: Your view of Harry is my view of Canon!Malfoy. Harry doesn't get women 'cause he's a rich guy. Malfoy does. He gets people sending him nekkie pics because he's the Boy-Who-Lived. I can't view Harry like that at all...it doesn't make sense to me.

Edit: Anolfrik...what about romance characters? I think yours should be changed to 'The most powerful people in a fic MUST be Harry, Dumbledore and Voldemort, no OC mentor will teach Harry the way to utter superiority.'

 

-Harry Potter will always remain as the main character. Not Voldemort, not Dumbledore, not James Potter, not Draco Malfoy, not some OCs, and especially not Snivellus.

-The Dursely’s are certenly not lovely and caring relatives.

-SLASH is the work of the Devil. MPreg are acts of the abomination. Being a male Veela’s does not make them fall in love with someone they hate.

 

Ok, the first rule has been nixed and seven rules have been added; some others have been modified.

The rest suggested need reworking or are in-dispute. Some key ones, I think to figure out are:

- Homosexual Ruling for Harry Fanfiction (Whether femmeslash is ok, or if male!gay characters are ok)
- Looks ruling for Harry Potter and whether Harry!Harem fics should have plots or be limited to one per Fanfiction account
- Ginny Weasley ruling - someone needs to come up with a definitive ruling on Ginny Weasey as to her place in Fanfiction and it must be cold but not contain her DLP nickname
- Hermione Granger ruling - someone needs to make the fair and bitchy ruling, where if she maintains fairness and becomes a decent character, she is allowed to coexist and speak with Harry and if she doesn't she needs to be put down.
- Harry Potter Women ruling - where is their position? Is anyone equal to Harry?

Still need a good first rule - it probably should be the Harry Potter-centric ruling earlier mentioned but needs to be worded in such a way as to start of the laws on a good pace.

Added Rules:

XI: Mount Everest and the City of Rome weren't built in a day, nor were wands.

XII: Doubtful is it that the race of Goblins care about Griphook, a lowly bank worker. Even more doubtful though, is the likelihood of anyone reading your story if you believe Harry's remembrance of Griphook will lead to success within the Goblin Race.

XIII: Let it henceforth be known that the basilisk Harry slayed in the Chamber of Secrets was in fact, not older than Christ. Let it also be known that every set of Basilisk-hide Battle Robes does not require a matching wand holster. Matching accessories is something that women and homosexuals do - not cold-hearted killers.

General Rule of Thumb: Once you start discussing materials when doing clothing, you are no longer straight.​

XIV: What goes through the veil stays through the veil. Harry is not immune to this rule. If he is either stupid enough to jump through and attempt to save a man he barely knew or pathetic enough to try and commit suicide, then he deserves to stay dead anyway.

XIV: Hedwig is an owl. She is not a Phoenix in disguise, nor will she be reincarnated as one. If Hedwig dies, Harry should do the sensible thing and buy another owl, as they are quite useful.

XV: The time during which Hogwarts is not in session will not be used to make Harry Potter a world-class athlete, a brilliant magical scholar or a battle-mage of the "my touch brings death" variety; it is not plausible.

Horrible Anime Corollary: If the time spent in a training room is disproportionate to time in the rest of the world, please remember to change every "Harry" to "Goku".​

Rotsam Ruling: Running will not equate to a six-pack, nor will it put Harry Potter on the road to becoming like Arnold Schwarzenegger. It will, however, lead to Harry being capable of running well over time.​

XVI: Harry Potter characters and settings should be inherently magical, with Muggle Technology and Weaponry playing a minimal role in a war comprised of prejudiced magic-users and fought in a technology-inhibiting setting. If you find Harry becoming Dirty Harry, you have failed (or you are Rorschach's Blot).

XVII: Ron Weasley is not an army commander or battle tactician. He is a chess player with little to no other visible skills.

 

I propose that no once gives a crap if harry makes up with the dursleys (because "we didn't want you to get hurt by that bad, bad magic that killed my oh-so-lovely sister, who i did love in real life and was just jealous of, and we wanted you to live with us and be happy but that wouldn't work because then the bad wizards would want to take you away so we locked you in a cupboard for ten years..."), gets lots of money to by inde clothes, has permisson to practice magic at number four, and learns to be an uber-boxer like dudley.

 

- Unless directly insulting any character (i.e. Harry insulting Ginslut), do not use said persons nickname outside of conversation with said person.

- According to the rules of psychology (of which Canon doesn't follow), Harry's current attitude should mean he was raised indifferently. However, if the rules of psychology were applied, Harry would be apathetic, or hate-filled, of which he is not.

- The Patronus charm is a LIGHT spell, and thus Voldemort and his Death Eaters shall not know it, as they hate the Light and everything associated with it. Not to mention it requires happy thoughts, and Voldemort does not have 'Happy' in his dictionary.

- It is not allowed to follow Half-Baked Plot in terms of events. However useage of ideas (Horcruxes, Fenir, etc) are allowed if more information is provided.

- When writing romance keep this in mind; Not everyone starts to notice girls when they hit 15+, some notice early.

- Also when writing romance, not all guys are clueless when it comes to females, most have some idea on how they work, and few understand that females aren't complicated; guys are.

- A final thing for romance; According to the rules of psychology (again), Harry Potters only 'action' would be from a prostitue, not a teenage girl. Same applies for who he is most compatible with.

I know there's more I can add, but this is off the top of my head.

 

Voldemort would be rather happy with the idea of having immortality. Everyone has happy thoughts, so that point doesn't work.