Go with 'Plot hole' I think. If it was widely known who the 'Marauders' were then it would have been foolish in the extreme to sign anything with their nicknames, or even the marauders stamp. Everyone would have known exactly who to blame, and the teachers would have had proof.

 

Well, for all we know Snape could have found out later on, when he joined the Order. Of course, we kind of know that the discipline system at Hogwarts isn't exactly effective. Everyone knew Fred and George were trouble makers, but they still went relatively unstopped. It's not a stretch to assume the same policy applied to the marauders.

 

I would like to propose a law

Bellatrix LeStrange a woman personally tutored in the Dark Arts by Voldemort, who was the lone Death Eater that escaped Dumbledore in the DOM, shall not be killed by Molly Weasley(who is a fucking housewife and a baby popping machine) under any circumstances even if Bellatrix kills all the Weasleys.

This rule should also apply to JK Rowling

 

Hm...Yeah, Philly Homer, about Bellatrix Lestrange being personally tutored by Voldemort...I've heard it mentioned a few times on the site, yet, for some reason, the site seems to be the first place I've ever even heard of that being the case. I realize that Bellatrix thinks of herself as Voldemort's most loyal, most trusted Inner Circle member, but...well, I don't recall ever having read about her being personally trained by Voldemort anywhere in the books; I could be wrong, though, so I ask you:

Care to supply an ignorant soul such as myself with some canon evidence of this?

 

Bellatrix Lestrange in OotP Chapter 36 pg. 811

There you go.

 

Slytherin house has neither an "Ice Queen" or an "Ice Prince." There shall be no long drawn out introspectives about how the Ice Prince/Queen never gets laid, despite that fact that (s)he is smokin'.

 

Unless it is Nobody, Ice Queen Extraordinaire.

 

I haven't read all of the posts yet, so don't bash me if I say something wrong.

huh, I've just gone through Bioplague's list. The whole damn thing pretty much encompasses every plot device used in every Harry Potter fanfic I've read - and I've read a lot of them. Doesn't give writers much room to maneuver does it?

 

That would be the point- to discourage writers from using cliched plot devices and encourage them to come up with new and original ideas. Though I have enjoyed reading the fics that started these cliches, I get damn sick of reading the same story over and over.

Also, I think pretty much every post here was done for the lulz.

 

Not ALL of them, there are about what.... 5-10ish laws that should not be violated under any circumstance. Ever.

 

True.

Here's another possible Law:

Lord Voldemort sees himself as being above humanity. Because of this, he will almsot certainly never have sex, and therefore never have children. Ever.

 

But sex can be a form of domination. I don't think that one can rule out early Voldemort having sex.

In school it would have been a good way to fufill his need to control and hurt, and afterward...well he was a very good looking boy. Bedding people could have gotten him access to all sorts of shit.

 

Yeah, this seems reasonable. I don't think that Riddle, even as a potentially hormonal teenager, could ever find anything other than pure pleasure out of sexual domination - but perhaps he got his kicks in other ways? Of course, post-resurrection and post-drinking Unicorn blood, Voldie didn't exactly have a "normal" physical body. So definitely agreed - no sex for Tom after GoF. And preferably never actually written (only off screen).

-J

 

There is no considerable form of wandless magic to be done by wizards. Especially not Harry Potter. Yes, he is talented, but if there was a way to do it, then I'm sure we'd have seen Dumbledore use it on the Tower.

 

Occlumancy is the art of mis-directing and then pushing people out of your mind you don't 'Build a shield' or 'Erect a wall' around your mind.

Furthermore harry will not 'take a page out of the muggle's books' and 'encrypt his mind like a muggle computer' using his magic.

I've only seen it done maybe two times, but both of them had me ready to pull my hair out.

This law is inviolable unless it's a parody where he manages to lock himself out of his own mind and has to co-inhabit someone elses body.

Edit:
Exception to:

parody's where we get to see letter of rejection from the patent office are exempt from this law.

 

No Author shall bother to re-cap the first X-Books unless they have changed the history somehow. If your writing starts at Harry's fourth year (or whenever) and nothing is different to that point, you will just GET ON WITH THE FUCKING STORY. There is no need to spend your entire first chapter or two going over what we already know.

 

If Harry is taken away from the Dursley's when he is five and proceeds to be given everything he's ever wanted by a smart/powerful/whatever guardian, he shall not act like an abused kid from the hood who has the right to judge people who haven't suffered abuse. He was abused for what, 5 years? He can't tell Malfoy to 'fuck off because he doesn't know what real pain feels like' if he left the Dursleys early and was basically spoiled.

 

Looked through this thread with the search option and was surprised that this rule hasn´t come up:

- Aurors shall not carry vials of Veritaserum on their investigations and/or battles. It would be bad if the opponent is capable of overpowering them and get secrets (like an super-secret back door into the MoM) out of them.

 

In that context:

Veritaserum is not to solution to all your problems.

Nothing is.

Except suicide, but the only way Harry is involved in it is that he drives others to it.

 

I only read up to about page 11 (and even that was a couple weeks ago) until I gave up and skipped to here, so please no flaming if I happen to repeat something.

Wands are a magical focus, used in combination with an Incantation to take the strain of a wizard casting a spell. It does not drain magical power making all wizards weaker. A wand is built the same way as a staff, and as such requires the same amount of magic to cast a spell, the only difference between these two focuses are size and convenience.

A Parsletongue is a wizard gifted with the unique ability to talk to snakes. Whether this is through a change in the brain and vocal cords or a purely magical effect is up to debate. Either way it can not be replicated by someone making hissing sounds.

Snakes do not write. Thus a written language that only Parsletongues can read does not exist.

The wand chooses the wizard. These are not just pretty words, they are the truth. A wand is a magical tool meant to help wizards with their spell casting. It does this by having a core quite similar to your magical signature and over time matching it near perfectly, almost as if it was an extension of your body. Thus, as long as it is your chosen wand, no other wand will be a better match for you.

In accordance to the above rule, if you are writing a reincarnation fic, Harry or whoever it was that was reincarnated will only have one chosen wand. If it’s Harry’s original Phoenix feather wand then good for him. If it’s the wand from his original life, then Harry will at no point receive the Phoenix feather wand as it was not meant for him.

The only exception to the wand rule is if the author, for whatever crack-induced reason, decided to include the Elder Wand in his or her story.

Chess is a strategy game that has you move game pieces in a set way on an 8 by 8 board. Real-life tacticians use intelligence, knowledge of the terrain and some psychiatry to predict an enemy commander’s stratagems. Because Chess is so simple compared real life, some tacticians find it a welcome stress reliever and are very practiced at it, making them good players. However chess players, who only predict set moves on a set board, will never instantly become a good or even adequate tactician.

All villains, are more evil, powerful, intelligent, and better banter-ers then canon can or will make them out to be. Lord Voldemort will never be an exception to this rule.

In the beginning of all stories the power scale should be Voldemort/Dumbledore<Harry<Rest of the World

The muggle and magical worlds will never combine. As it would only end in one of the worlds killing or dominating the other. You have been warned.

If you are opposed to Lord Voldemort you will refer to him as the Dark Lord, Voldemort, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, You-Know-Who or, in rare cases, Tom. Any childish insults our rhymes that change these names will not be used as they: A) are stupid, B) would cause Voldemort to focus on you in a fight which is BAD for the average Joe of the Wizarding world, C) are really stupid, and finally D) will cause you to be flamed for stupidity.

Not all followers of Lord Voldemort serve in his legions of Death Eaters.

If you cannot hit a man-sized target from 10 feet away 10 out of 10 times you will not serve in Voldemort’s legions.

If you have the reflexes of a dead sloth that’s been anally raped you will not serve in Voldemort’s legions.

If your entire spell repertoire consists of Avada Kedavra you will not serve in Voldemort’s legions.

If you do not serve in his legions Voldemort CAN find other uses for you.

Voldemort does not operate under the one strike you're dead policy.

The Cruciatus Curse is the ultimate physical torture curse, there is no Cruciatus Maximus Curse.

The Avada Kedavra curse is the Killing curse. There is no magical shield that can stop it. Physical shields can work but it depends on the size and material. Example, if Harry is blowing his nose the Kleenex will not stop a Killing Curse. As it is incredibly powerful it requires a large amount of magic, and is not suitable for a magical firefight.

If, after X number of generations, the power levels of Purebloods drops by 90% and the rate of birth of squibs jumps 500% the purebloods would notice. They’re proud, not stupid.

Ginny is the first girl in seven generations of Weasleys. Given how her parents and the environment Ginny grew up in it is fair to say she is a guy in everything but body.

The ‘Epilogue’ chapter at the end of Deathly Hallows was not meant to exist. At the annual ‘Emo-Goth-Druggie Harry Potter Slash Fangirls Who Cut Themselves’ convention in New York, one activity was who could write the ‘best’ ending. One of these fangirls wrote an ending so bad the rest of the convention decided it had to be in the actual book. They kidnapped Rowling and using a combination of drugs, cutting, brainwashing, and bad slash fanfiction, ‘convinced’ her to include it. Because of this it cannot be considered canon, and Albus Severus Potter most defiantly does not exist.

Crumple-Horned-Snorkacks do exist.