Thank you for pointing this out! It's so annoying.

The other thing that always gets glossed over is that running/jogging any sort of distance is difficult. A malnourished teenager is not going to turn into an accomplished long distance runner in three months. Especially not by just running distance x on day one, x + 1 on day two, etc.

I would propose as a Potter Law:
- Harry Potter shall not be portrayed as a world class master of any non-magical subject unless the author has some knowledge of how one becomes a world class master of said subject.

 

I disagree with almost everything you said, Shezza.

We have seen nothing but incompetence in Canon. They denied Voldemort's return despite specific evidence to the contrary just to keep their jobs, they had all of the high ranking officials at Harry's trial for something as stupid as Underage Magic, and there hasn't been one single event that points to any competence within the entire Ministry.

Really? Then why did Tonks fall down the stairs immediately after she started dueling in the DoM? Why was Dawlish unable to so much as slow down Hagrid during the Astronomy O.W.L. in OotP? Why did Kingsley lose within 5 seconds of dueling LeStrange, despite the fact that Harry was able to hit her with a curse later? Why have the Aurors caught no death eaters at all in HBP and only managed to get STAN FROM THE KNIGHTBUS!? There is not a shred of evidence that the Aurors are anything more than average wizards who have a bit of extra training and are paid to enforce the laws. Harry reacted quicker when fighting Voldemort than Dawlish did getting his ass blasted by Dumbledore. I guess you could argue that Moody is powerful, but that goes out the window with the fact that he was beaten by Barty Crouch Jr, who had no such "training" that the Aurors get.

I was under the impression that they are only able to detect magic in unwarded homes or homes without certain powerful wards, otherwise they would have a much easier time catching death eaters.

Word.


Foreign Cultures of the Wizarding World

Blah. Ignorance. We never see anyone from any other wizarding society in the entire series so you can't make that assumption. If there wasn't powerful magic/artifacts/witches and wizards in other countries then Voldemort wouldn't have traveled the world looking to get stronger once he left Hogwarts, he would have stayed in Britain.

Salem institution is mentioned, so there has to be an American magical government. And as far as the magical government of America being the same as the one in Britain, society evolves, my friend. We in America are much different than Britain in many aspects today. Your statement would have been semi-correct 200 years ago, but the English who came here to America came to change society, not keep it the same. I see no reason why that should be any different with the Magical government.

Word.

Voldemort traveled the entire world looking for power, and while I agree that all the Horcruxes will be in Britain (Because JKR likes having stupid plot holes) there could easily be powerful magical objects in Japan.

Yet, they couldn't collectively beaten anyone from the Inner Circle, Dumbledore had to show up and save the day.

 

TheIllusiveOne...

You raise some very good canon points. However...
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They denied Voldemort's return despite specific evidence to the contrary just to keep their jobs, they had all of the high ranking officials at Harry's trial for something as stupid as Underage Magic, and there hasn't been one single event that points to any competence within the entire Ministry.
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No, Fudge denied Voldemort's return and eliminated Barty Crouch Junior. Fudge. Fudge organized the Wizenamgot trial, and no matter his flaws, he's a politician. As everybody knows, Politicians can be very slippery when they need to be. Look at Bush...do something bumbling or stupid in a speech and everybody thinks he's a moron until he suddenly invades the Middle East. We never know what Fudge did to get that session running, and even then the majority didn't fall into his power. You can't judge a government, with all its departments and sub-departments, by its leader...look at Nixon as an example and the American government. Could it be reasoned that

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Really? Then why did Tonks fall down the stairs immediately after she started dueling in the DoM? Why was Dawlish unable to so much as slow down Hagrid during the Astronomy O.W.L. in OotP? Why did Kingsley lose within 5 seconds of dueling LeStrange, despite the fact that Harry was able to hit her with a curse later? Why have the Aurors caught no death eaters at all in HBP and only managed to get STAN FROM THE KNIGHTBUS!? There is not a shred of evidence that the Aurors are anything more than average wizards who have a bit of extra training and are paid to enforce the laws. Harry reacted quicker when fighting Voldemort than Dawlish did getting his ass blasted by Dumbledore. I guess you could argue that Moody is powerful, but that goes out the window with the fact that he was beaten by Barty Crouch Jr, who had no such "training" that the Aurors get
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I'll admit that so far, we've only seen a few good Auror moments in Canon. But there are explanations and factors for these moments. We'll start from GOF, where Barty Crouch subdues Moody. A number of factors could have come into that which would have given Barty the advantage. He was presumed dead...the surprise factor could have easily bought him the time he needed to stun Moody. He was the son of the previous Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, he could have easily picked up on some tricks. Voldemort might have trained him like Bellatrix...he did once consider Crouch one of his most faithful. Or maybe he just hid himself and attacked Moody from behind. We don't know if Moody's eye can see in the dark, and it was night.....

In OOTP, the Auror's can't bring down Hagrid easily and their stunners do bounce off his thick hide. That doesn't mean to say that they couldn't have taken him down. For instance, a well-placed Killing Curse or even some more powerful and harmful spells would have had Hagrid on the ground, dead or injured. But think....Auror's are part of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.......Law Enforcement. What do we know about our police? Well, for starters, cops don't go shooting people in the chest for a simple trespassing incident, or refusing to leave the premises. That was what Hagrid was basically doing. There would be protocols and procedures and who knows what else involved. If Hagrid had been a murderer, then there's no doubt in my mind that he would have gotten away.

The incident in Dumbledore’s office...well, what were you expecting? Dumbledore is considered the most powerful wizard alive, or second most powerful considering your opinion about Voldemort. JKR makes sure we see that in the duel between Voldemort and Dumbledore at the Ministry...magic radiates off his spell...a phenomena previously unseen before. So what, Dumbledore defeated a couple of Auror's? You could say that Harry did react faster with Voldemort...but then you'd be wrong. In GOF...before Harry can even lift his wand, Crucio! In OOTP, Harry didn't even try to lift his wand. In PS, Harry is bound before he can do anything. In COS, who loses their wand?

Tonks and Kinglsey losing to Bellatrix...well, consider that perhaps she's better than them? She does claim that Voldemort did personally teach her dark magic, so I'm sure that she knows a few tricks up her sleeve...or robes. And Tonks is young, new as an Auror, lacking in experience. Kingsley...well, I'd just say that Bellatrix whooped his arse. Harry may have hit her with a Crucio, but she wasn't even seriously trying to duel him then. She was mocking him and laughing! She might not have expected a response and definitely didn't expect an Unforgivable to be hurled at her. The element of surprise is better than anything else in a fight. It doesn't matter if you're the best shot with a pistol in the world, if somebody shoots you when you're taking a piss or from behind, you're dead.

In HBP, you're right that no Death Eater's are caught. Scrimgeour makes the mistake of doing what Fudge did in COS, trying to look like he was doing something. Corrupt, yes. Stupid, yes. The Auror's are inefficient? I'll reply to your magical detection response below, but if magical people don't want to be found then I would say that it's quite hard to find them. If a Death Eater went out and started hurling Killing Curses in Muggle London, I would say that he would be found quickly. If a Death Eater hides in a cave for eight months and limits his magic or even blocks the magical detection methods, then I would say that he wouldn't be found quickly. Strange, talking about caves, let's talk about Osama Bin Laden. Has anybody found him recently? No. Is the US army inefficient? Fuck no. Has the Ministry found Voldemort? No. Are the Auror's inefficient? Well, that's what I'm debating, isn't it.

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I was under the impression that they are only able to detect magic in unwarded homes or homes without certain powerful wards, otherwise they would have a much easier time catching death eaters.
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In this point, I think that Canon won't help either of us. Logic however, says that there has to be better ways of detecting magic, or the Wizarding World would have be discovered by now. Look at Arthur's job, snatching up snapping toilet seats and who knows what else. How does he find them? Does he wait until so many people have complained that it eventually gets the attention of the Ministry? If so, a couple of photos or a few seconds of video footage would have revealed magic to the entire world long ago. Any wizard would be able to go out to the Muggle world, away from powerful wards and homes, and do what the hell they want without fear of getting caught. Logic says that there has to be a much more efficient way. I'm not saying that this can't be avoided or beaten....but there has to be a way, even if I'm not sure what these ways are.

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Word.
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To be honest, I don't exactely know what that means. So...moving on...

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Blah. Ignorance. We never see anyone from any other wizarding society in the entire series so you can't make that assumption. If there wasn't powerful magic/artifacts/witches and wizards in other countries then Voldemort wouldn't have traveled the world looking to get stronger once he left Hogwarts, he would have stayed in Britain.
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I will concede to you in a few areas. You're right; I can't make that assumption completely. However, we do see other people in the series, from Durmstrung and that French school starting with 'B', I'm too lazy to find the spelling. And none of them seem anymore powerful or different to the normal Hogwarts students. Mainly, I wrote this because I am an avid hater of.... 'Transfer student with a mysterious background...' or 'Harry goes to America/Australia/Timbuktu and discovers how much better their schools really are...'
But you're right. Voldemort did travel to other countries for more knowledge and magic and stuff like that. But I never said that there wasn't powerful magic out there, I just said that England can't be rivaled by every single magical country in the world in terms of magic and morals and stuff...as seen in so many potentially good RunAway!Harry stories. But again...that is ignorance and assumptions...but so are Fanfiction writers when they suddenly make the Wizarding World of England a third-world country. They're assuming that other countries are better, when we have no proof.
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Salem institution is mentioned, so there has to be an American magical government. And as far as the magical government of America being the same as the one in Britain, society evolves, my friend. We in America are much different than Britain in many aspects today. Your statement would have been semi-correct 200 years ago, but the English who came here to America came to change society, not keep it the same. I see no reason why that should be any different with the Magical government.
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Alright. This time you have me. No, I don't have any witty retorts...I completely forgot about Salem. It was mentioned somewhere in the books....and I just didn't remember.
You are right. America is different from Britain today, but much different? You're both Western Superpowers, you're both considered to be very militaristic powerful, you both stand for a lot of the same principles. They are your ancestors and you have inherited a lot from them. A language to start off with. Several aspects of your government was created by the Brit's, including the Senate....though I'm a little hazy on that one, the Brits could have stolen that from another European country.
Of course, America is vastly different from England in so many other way's that I won't even start trying to name them. Still...their are similarities...

However, socially, you are different. The largest different I can think of is social classes. The English are revolve around them, theirs a poor working class, a middle working class, a high working class, a low middle class, a middle middle class, a high middle class, a low high class, a middle high class, the elite of the high class, then the Royalty. And there's probably more!
It is entirely possible that the American Wizarding World is different from the English Wizarding World. However, many of the foundations and cornerstones will be the same. Somehow, I don't think that the American Wizarding World will have average wizards on par with Voldemort, or be super-powered transfer students, as portrayed in so many stories. And that conception was what I was attacking.

So, you're right. But in relation with standard Fanfiction portrayals of American Wizarding Society...I'm right. They aren't...or shouldn't be...the immediate resolution of all of the Britain's problems. Unfortunately, we're both treading in uncharted waters so we have no way of backing up our opinions without assumptions.
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Word.
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Considering the context of the quote you provided, I'm assuming that 'word' means that you agree. Good, because my respect for your logical and persuasive arguements and generally as an intellectual human being would drop rapidly. I wish I could bitchslap some author's who ruin a very, very good story with anime influences! Take SilverAegis for example...his story would have been, at least to me, legendary....if it weren't for that crappy Bowing!Sweat-Drop!-San!Asian!Harry....

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Voldemort traveled the entire world looking for power, and while I agree that all the Horcruxes will be in Britain (Because JKR likes having stupid plot holes) there could easily be powerful magical objects in Japan.
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Yep. You're completely right there. No argument from me. I completely agree with you. I was trying to attack the stories where Harry goes to Japan, then meets some stupid anime character, such as Ramma or Ramna? Naroto...? Whoever. Said character turns him into Bowing!Sweat-Drop!-San!Asian!Harry and discovers that Voldemort has hidden a magical artifact in Japan...usually, in the mountains. Listen people, Japan does have beautiful mountain ranges...but has anybody actually been to the place? It's got a population in the tens of millions...it could even be in the hundreds of millions....I'm not looking this up, all I know is that It's bigger than Australia's population of 25 million...and it's a freaking tiny island! There sure as hell isn't going to be an open plain that isn't being farmed. Do you know how expensive golf courses over there are because of the lack of land? way of backing up our opinions without assumptions.
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Yet, they couldn't collectively beaten anyone from the Inner Circle, Dumbledore had to show up and save the day.
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In that fight, they were outnumbered. I just went and checked...Harry and Neville were fighting at least five in the Viel...and I quote, 'while as many more emerged from through other doorways...'. That play of words is confusing, to me at least. Does she mean that five more came down, or is it an unspecified number? Either way, five Order members showed up facing the likes of Bellatrix, Rodolphous, Dolohov...all famous for their brutality. I'm surprised that only one Order member died....especially since they were outnumbered, quite possibly at 2:1.
They must have had some skill as if to survive.


And that's my little reply done. I love a good debate so if you want to contradict my answers, go ahead. Don't take offence at anything I've said though...I'm not criticizing you. I've had debates before and had the other person get really angry with me.....

Sincerely,
Shezza88

 

That's a pretty big leap there. For all we know, the Salem Witches Institute could be an insane asylum for Witches...just because there are magical people in America, it doesn't mean that there is a government.

Also, you say that society evolves and that this means that in 300 years the American magical nation (assuming there is one) will have diverged from the British to a point where they are not recognisable as one spawning the other.

Now, in the muggle world this is true, but I'd say that in the magical world societies would evolve and diverge alot slower: the main driving force in the muggle world for the evolution of a society is gains in technology, science ect.

In the magical world, large changes (such as the creation of the nuclear bomb) simply do not happen, any change is slow and has little effect. New spells may be created now and then, but a few new spells do little to change the structure of society. So I'd say that the American magical society would still be very similar to the British one.

As for the Aurors, we know that you have to get top grades in NEWT level, and pass various other tests. In fact, we're told that no-one from Hogwarts had been good enough to be an auror for several years before Harry's career plaaning session. I'd call that highly qualified.

The examples you mentioned happen to be exceptional cases: either they were bound by law and incompetent leaders not to perform to their potential, or they were facing one of the top 5 wizards and witches known to us.

 

Shezza: a detail about the hagrid episode: They attacked Mcgonnagal without warning, and it is said that they could have killed her with those four stunners. So either they are really weak, or else they got *really* scared when Mcgonnagal came, and decided to bring her down before she could pull out her wand.

Grins. I like Super!Minerva

 

Let it be known from now on that Harry Potter will not ever die, become crippled, go blind, lose a limb(s), go deaf, lose his magic, or become handicapped in any way.

Harry Potter never had, nor ever will have, a dick size larger that 7-9 inches.

The Following Phrase shall never be used:

Snape (or Draco, or any other Slytherin) smiled/smirked/nodded/approved of/to/at Harry. "Very Slytherin of you Potter/Harry..."

 

How do you know, Ammy? *wiggles eyebrows suggestively* Have you been having some "quality" time with Harry?

 

Rule #?? - If you give Harry a weapon, use it.

 

- The use of any non-magical weaponry (such as 150-year-old Katana Gun-blades) is strictly prohibited. If you have a wand, why would you revert to forms of weaponry ditched by the muggle world hundreds of years ago? Any author found guilty of breaking this rule will be charged on the grounds of useless filler and shall be punished as such.

 

Goddamnit Taure, I had finally recovered the IQ I lost reading that shit, and you have to go and make me relive it!

/ak Taure

 

TITLE ?: Harry Potter will not become the new Cassanova within the space of 24 hours.

TITLE ?+1: Harry Potter will not find incredibly powerful wands that far surpass his own in power in Knockturn Alley...if he did, Voldemort would have long started using them instead.

TITLE ?+2: Harry Potter shall not ever surpass the supernatural being known as God in power. He has limits.

TITLE?+3: Harry Potter shall not whine and bitch about his identity. He is the boy-who-lived, has lines of girls ready to shag him, and is famous. He should accept and make use of this, not change his features and live out the rest of his life as some unknown man in Oxford studying law.

Harry Potter and my own clone are the only two people I would ever consider having homosexual relations with.

 

Muggle devices shall never be charmed to run off batteries, especially if the character is idie/emo Harry or created character.

Arthur Weasley shall not be named minister of magic, thus providing a major income increase to all members of the Weasley family, nor shall it provide Ron with any amount of fame

Harry Potter is not an offspring of the werewolf Remus Lupin, and will not magically begin his transformations at the age of sixteen. Also, biting Lily Potter while she is pregnant will not turn Harry Potter into a human-werewolf hybrid.

If in fanon Harry Potter is bitten by werewolf Remus Lupin, he is not magically able to speak telepathically to the animagus Sirius Black.

 

Use of word "acceptable" in dialogues between Harry and Dumbledore/Narcissa Malfoy/Bellatrix Lestrange should be avoided.

It makes me want to cry blood.

 

The word "Draco" shall never be said in a good light unless referring to the Hogwarts motto.

 

Harry Potter shall not be crossed-over with any anime/manga, especially one named Naruto. These two works of fictoin were not made to mix, and should not be mixed as stated.

 

Lily will not be he daughter/heiress/descendant of anyone powerful out of Harry Potter (Orochimaru, Dark Lord Sith, Sephiroth).

 

Mpreg shall not happen unless the author can explain the following in a manner besides "It's Magic":

1.) How a child can be concieved on a single sperm cell.
2.) How a fetus can grow in the male rectal passage, and yet cause the frontal area of the male to bloat.
3.) How a fetus growing in the male rectal passage still allows stool to pass.
4.) How the male asshole dialates to 4-5 inches to allow a child through.
5.) How the male sternum can allow a fetus to grow without crushing it, or breaking itself.
6.) How a fetus can grow in the midst of so much dirty stool.

 

^What the fuck? It doesn't matter whether it can be explained or not. I don't give a fuck if some scientist writes a Mpreg fic that could work in the real world, Mpreg is wrong and will not happen, ever.

 

Harry Potter has never had a trademark 'lopsided grin'. He has made lopsided grins in the past, but that has never given an excuse for authors to give him a disfigured facial structure from the embouchoure muscle overgrowth on one side of his face, which would therefore make him unable to correctly pronounce various spells. Go figure.



-off the record--> Can you imagine what would happen if this actually occured? Visualise: the Final Battle of Hogwarts (for that is sure to be where it is going to take place, aside from Godric's Hollow), when Voldemort is down on the ground, reaching for his wand, and Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, Chosen One, Husband to Gi-censored-ley, and Giver of Famous and Dashingly Charming Lop-sided Grins, Destroyer of Horcruxes, prepares his final spell.

"Arvardar Kedarghrar!!!"

Ruh-roh. -laughs at the expense of authors who constantly have Harry give lopsided grins to his various fans-