What do you use your copy of HBP for?

(Burning doesn't count as that's not practical - unless it's cold and there's no heating system)

Personally I've found it the perfect height to perform calf raises on. Where OotP was too big, this one's comfortable.

 

I put a different book jacket on mine so now it looks like a copy of "The collected works of Immanuel Kant". I have it on my bookshelf so now I look smart when people walk by.

I've read most of Kants stuff any though so I think it's time to switch book jackets.

 

I've used my copy of HBP for several things: paperweight, dorstop, argument-settler, and the like. I've also torn out every single page that contains any refrence to Harry wanting to get into Gin-Gin's panties and used it as toilet paper for my cat.

 

One of my table's legs are shorter than the rest so I - you guessed it - put it under the table leg to keep the table level.

 

I always encourage my young cousin to use it to give her a bit of a boost when reaching for something high whenever there is no one near enough to help her.

I also use it as a simple scratch paper, to draw for simple amusement.

It can also be used as a weapon to defend oneself as a projectile or a melee weapon.

 

Dark Jedi Knight: You wipe your cat's ass? Interesting to know...

HBP...well, I read it.

Then, I left it in the care of my brother...more like I left it at his mercy. Presumably, it has either been enshrined, or it has been abandoned at the bottom of his bookshelf.

Regardless, once my brother is done with a book, it looks like it's been chewed, spat out, chewed once more, digested and then excreted.

Not a pretty sight at all.

 

And you take pride in your originality?

I have several options.

1) Use it as a medium in order to contact the spirits of mediocrity.

2) The day that I will run out of conventional toilet paper...

3) The day that I find myself awakening from a coma, experience total memory loss and start wondering why I joined this forum, I'll take up HBP once more. I'm pretty confident that reliving such a heavy trauma will jumpstart my memory.

 

In Giovanni's case, you could use it to smush a mouse.

I gave my copy to my dog. She uses it as a pillow, and sometimes when she's itchy she'll scratch her butt on it.

 

I've got a very simple use for mine, it's not too original but I use my copy as a weapon.

Being clubbed by that book is enough to desist any attacker, and the trauma of the attacker when seeing the title makes it doubly enjoyable.

Another use is killing bugs and failing that, it makes a good doorstop.

Litha

 

For me, HBP makes a good reference book, as it contains many names that are difficult to spel correctly.

 

The thread is titled "Practical uses for HBP" Not original uses, but PRACTICAL uses.

In case you don't know:

Dictionary.com

My response was not too original, but was practical like the thread was named.

 

HBP? I suppose I took the practical and intelligent route.. I didn't like the book, so I sold it before everyone else had read it. (obviously assuming the worth of it would plummet) I did lose 10 dollars it the process; $20 for the book, Sold it for $10, but at least it wasn't a total loss.

Still, better then putting it to waste for something as idiotic as toilet paper, it would cost less to just buy a new roll, you know. And it isn't as if the book was that horrible.

 

I did the most practical thing- I never bought the damn thing and read it in my computer
=)

 

What alternative uses are there for HBP ?​

Not many really. Mine is currently on my bookshelf awaiting another reading. Some people donate theirs to the local library, some give them to friends or to children's homes, and some do the same as I do: keep it around in case you ever feel the need to go through it again. If there is one way to disrespect an author, it is to disrespect their writing. And by using it as a doorstop or a stool, you are indeed disrespecting it.

As you may have reasoned from my post thus far, I don't hold HBP in such low esteem as man of you seem to. But if you missed that I'll state it again, I am not so disgusted with HBP that I would even consider using it for anything other than reading. In fact, I rather enjoyed most of it.

So while I'm on the topic, I'd like to point a few thing out that generally piss me off .

• I. - People comparing the book to badly written fanfiction.
• II. - People following the crowd with their opinion.
• III. - People judging the book without having read/finished it.
• IV. - People disregarding it completely. (ie: "I don't consider HBP canon.")
• V. - People bashing JKR as a writer.
• VI. - People discussing how much they dislike HP on a forum dedicated to HP fanfiction.
• VII. - People in general.

But I'll not stop there, because I need to get this off my chest I think... I like DLP, a lot of great fics are written here, new ideas, usually mature discussion, and recently there has been a lot of exciting Cupspeaker banning action. Despite that, I see a lot of HP bashing going on. And though it generally comes from the newer users, it still grates on my nerves. It reminds me of #darkmark, which I'll explain to those of you who aren't aware of what that means.

#darkmark is a channel in the IRC (on a different server) that caters to another HP forum. Yet you'd never know that if you visited. All that seems to ever happen in there is little kids happily cybering away with the moderators. Anyways, one time I went in there, trolling as usual, and was sincerely curious as to why they never talked about Harry Potter in the chat room of a Harry Potter forum. So I asked, and wasn't all that surprised to find that every single person who answered me said that they didn't really like HP. When I started defending the series, I was swiftly banned from the channel. This won't mean much to anybody who has never seen what goes on in #darkmark, but believe me, comparing your post to that chat room is one of the greatest insults you will ever receive.

Now that I've gotten that cleared up, I'd like to get back to the things that generally piss me off.

(I.) People comparing the book to badly written fanfiction.
People use this insult without really thinking about it. Surprisingly some FF writers use it as well, even those who have written somewhat decent fics. Are they so arrogant as to insinuate that their amateur writing is better? Why aren't they already published then? And why don't they come up with their own original fiction to write? Come on people, you're using an established universe to explore your writing skills with, coming up with something so complex on your own isn't so easy.

(II.) People following the crowd with their opinion.
I really hope this is self explanatory... but I'll clarify a bit anyways. Just because other people don't like the book, it is not your obligation to agree with them. Even if their opinion really matters to you, you're nothing but a shadow if you follow their every move.

(III.) People judging the book without having read/finished it.
This doesn't apply so much to this forum, though I'm sure a few of you out there are guilty of it. This is mainly focused at all of those people calling for HP books to be banned at schools, calling them kiddie books that aren't worthy of reading, or generally trying to persuade people not to read them. You all hopefully know about the big controversy between HP and many of the radical religious factions that see the books as encouraging witchcraft and devil worshipping in general.

(IV.) People disregarding it completely. (ie: "I don't consider HBP canon.")
I see this comment a lot... and though it doesn't bother me as much, it still annoys me. This pretty much goes along with '(I.)' and my original comment about disrespecting an author's work. The fact that you didn't like parts or even all of the story doesn't give you the right to disregard it. It is canon whether you like it or not. If you write a 6th year FF it is AU, no matter how much you wish HBP didn't exist.

(V.) People bashing JKR as a writer.)
Oh how I wish I didn't need to say this. You all can critique JKR until you pass out from the sheer orgasmic joy you get from it... once you are a published writer. As I said in '(I.),' writing your own original fiction is a lot harder than using the blueprint that the books lay out for you. No matter what you think, the world that she created and the story that goes along will always be more original than any fanfiction that is written using her ideas.

(VI.) People discussing how much they dislike HP on a forum dedicated to HP fanfiction.
I'm not even going to grace this one with an explanation. If you don't get it, get out.

(VII.) People in general.
Yes I admit, people in general get on my nerves.​

Listen up, a lot of you say that you dislike HBP because it isn't a good place to start from a FF point of view. Well guess what, JKR isn't writing this story for you. Are you so delusional as to think that she has FF in mind while she writes? Also, please tell me what was so horrid about HBP? Maybe I missed it somewhere. And don't give me the same sad H/G shit, we're all tired of that. Just because the story wasn't how you wished it would be doesn't make it trash. What kind of person uses a book to wipe up cat shit? And what kind of retarded place would something like that be found amusing? Seriously, I thought we were trying to promote maturity, not little kids acting like assholes.

 

BMM...I didn't say I didn't like HBP (for the record, I hated it). Just that it served as good a purpose when working out...

 

That rant was more aimed at all anti-HP and HBP in general... it was just the cat ass wiping that set me off. Reminds me of book burning.

 

EDIT: This is not meant as a counter rant, it is just my own personal justification for my opinion of HBP

BMM: I agree with your rant to a certain extent, however just because someone has been published does not make them an excellant author for all of their published work. I respect Rowling for her imagination which spawned the HP universe the same way I respect George Lucas for Star Wars and Tolkein for the LOTR stuff... But like Lucas I feel that Rowling has fallen victim to her own fame, and as a result the "Book" known as HBP was quite honestly not only a big let down to any of her fans who were expecting another book at least on par with the other ones in terms of quality/innovation, but a let down to any literary fan in general.

I have bitched incessantly in the past about her development of Voldemorts character to my fellow HP fans IRL, and on here shortly after I read HBP. By making him a sociopath (right down to the American Psychiatric Associations definition of the word) she severely undermines if not outright destroys the dialogue of choice that she worked so hard to build throughout the series.

I could go into my rant about the various romances -- and their numerous flaws -- but I won't, that argument has been done to death.

In short, I regard 1-5 as canon and #6 as middle of the road fanfiction. Just because an author can continue to be published by appeasing a hardcore fanbase doesn't mean that they are a good author -- just look at Anne Coulter. Annie Dear writes some of the most incendiary (and oft outright hateful) things I have ever read, and still gets #1 Bestseller for each book. Why? Because she appeals to the sheeple, the morons, and those too hardcore to care for reason. Rowling, in the 600 pages surrender document known as HBP has done the same for her HG fans and younger audience whilst betraying the rest of the fandom.

I continue to hold JKR in relatively high regard for her work on Books 1-5 despite my various problems with parts of them... But Harry Potter and the Half-Baked Plot will never be regarded as Canon by me.

 

Considering I posted a large rip apart of HBP I take that as a personal insult Blue_balls.

Oh the fun I'm going to have with your account =)

I consider 1-4 canon, 5 was just a pointless act of inaction, 6 was written sheerly for the H/G sheep

 

How was six written for the H/Hr sheep?

 

After giving it a modicum of thought, I was able to deduce that Mid has simply made a typo and meant H/G, the g being directly next to the h on a standard qwerty-keyboard. A little thought goes a long way, TDM.

On topic, I believe you are being a bit extreme about it, but hey, it's your copy ...