Updated, and I'm glad to see that the betas had done their job; there isn't a plethora of typos to distract people.

Story-wise, there isn't much new stuff, more of a transition chapter, really.

 

Page breaks are still not showing up. That vaguely annoys me. This was a decent transitional chapter, though the updates have such long gaps these days that I can barely remember anything of the story before the Fae arc.

 

The spelling and style has improved, it was a good choice to take on betas.

The wait between chapters and lenght of the story really makes it difficult to follow every sub-plot though.

Does anyone remember who McGunny was and what happened to him? I totally forgot him and I can't recall many of the references to Harrys past adventures and happenings with Voldemort or Bobby, this is a bit annoying.

A short outline of the main events of the story would be really helpful.

 

Much better written, and some enjoyable stuff, but not much in the way of plot.

 

McGunny was the School Newspaper editor that somewhat befriended Harry. He was absorbed/possessed by the shade of Voldemort. He had taken a shine to Harry and wanted to protect him while thwarting Voldemort Prime.

Later, McGunnymort tried to throw a wrench in the Belgium invasion and got sideways with a vampire clan he had allied with. Voldemort ditched his body and Bella piciked it up somewhere.

That's about all I remember.

 

Updated. More transitions - Harry and Snape resolved some of their differences and Snape helps out Harry re: Ron, Lucius.

 

Another update, which is quite good in my opinion.

Nothing ingenious, but the writing, spelling and plot are at last consistant and read fluently. Some longer term storylines are finally resolved, which is a relief because they were getting slightly annoying.

And the stage is set for another promising plot, so I'm looking forward to seeing this huge series play out.

 

New chapter. I'm not quite sure how do rate it yet. It doesn't feel like a transition, more like the beginning of something else.

 

Read it a few months ago, but forgot to suscribe, therefore have lost my place in it.
From what I've read of it, though, it was decent. I'm not sure what to say about the plot though, don't really see anything happening there, but...
I just hope that this will turn out to be more than just a plot bunny and turn into something with a direction. My memory may be just failing me though.

 

It's finishing Harry's sixth year/starting his seventh; I'd say it's gone a little beyond a plot bunny at this stage. Arguably it has too many directions and not enough focus, but it's definitely developed.

 

Updated.

I thought this was a good chapter. I was kind of bored with the last few, but we're getting back into the action and quickly.

Now that Stratus has begun acting I think we'll be seeing lots of chaos inside of England rather than international shenanigans. Voldemort was entertaining in this chapter, really acting in supreme confidence and showing off his hostility and subtle madness that I think is a clue to why Harry might have to kill him eventually.

I realised how much Voldemort's society resembles Europe in the 1800's, with rich nobles and lots of workers to fulfil all the menial jobs, without the social climbers and huge corporations of our modern day. Pretty fun setting to write in, since nobles had lots of time to do interesting things without drudge work like normal people.

 

I don't remember the last time a Prince of the Dark Kingdom chapter was so epic. Shit has hit the fan and I'm really looking forward to seeing the concequences of this.

 

That was pretty fucking epic. Definitely the most exciting chapter I can remember, but I haven't read it front to back in a while.

This new development surely spells good things for Hermione, but who knows what the fuck Draco is going to be like now? Eagerly anticipating the next update D:

 

EPIC. Simply EPIC.

 

Story's been updated. Poor Hermione...

 

Huh, I'd forgotten about Sirius and Remus. Nice update, although her betas haven't done a great job on the chapter (missing scene breaks, someone being asked to 'ear with me', that kind of thing). Chances are we know now what (if anything) is going to set Harry against Voldemort.

 

Yeah I was kind of disappointed. Both with the bad grammar and also the...i dont know, banality of the plot. I was expecting some big fireworks and reveals and this seemed sort of boring.

 

I dropped this when Harry went back running to Voldemort at the beginning of Book V. Annoyed.

Really, this Harry seems incredibly stupid, like seriously, he cites patriotism as one of his reasons. It's also incredibly annoying that he seems to have very little interest in questioning his own circumstances or the society around him - also Voldemort is written to appear completely invincible and infallible (like how he neutralized the threat of Sirius and got Harry to sell him his soul at the same time, or earlier how when Moody hit him with AK he was just fine) , as if his ideology had actually been right all along, and his methods justified.

I find Voldemort himself very OoC. In canon, was murdering muggleborns and halfbloods in cold-blood in order to keep his powerbase intact I assume, but here he manages to build the perfect society with purebloods and muggleborns happy with their lot somehow. At the same time he makes everyone believe Dumbledore to be a children-murdering terrorist (seriously even Sirius and Remus seems to believe him).

Will there ever be a challenge for this world's Voldemort? The good guys seem to stand no chance, ever.

 

You need to read better books. The thing is, there's no good/evil or right/wrong. Voldemort won the war and had years to reshape magical britain. Those that didn't agree with him either died, fled the country or went underground. Those who stayed got their fair share of PR from the papers, making them believe in the current government.

Also, of course he is OoC, the entire story is an AU, built on a different result on the war that shaped the Harry Potter plot.