Proper Use of Beige Prose

Deadsomeone · Jan 13, 2013

I've been wondering how to actually use beige prose in a story for the point of view of an Old-War-Scarred-Badass. It's supposed to sort of portray his disconnection from the world around him, and the fact that he's seen it all, but I can't quite seem to make it work. I want to make something like this:

I pushed open the steel door and walked in with Micheals on my heel.

The room looked old and dirty, the beige paint on the walls peeling. The walls behind it were concrete. The entire place smelled like lye and blood.

A head, and parts of its torso lay in the middle of the room. Small stumps showing where the limbs once where.

Micheals made a groaning sound in the back of his throat at the sight of it. It seems my partner hadn't seen a torture-murder before.

But any attempts to write like this either end up sounding boring and stilted, reading like a list, or just not working. Does anyone have advice on this?

Ched · Jan 13, 2013

Only thing I can think of to tell you is to go to the TVTropes page for Beige Prose and check out everything listed under "examples" and see if there's anything you can read for ideas or to see if anyone of them "do it right" or "do it similar to how you want to do it."

It lists the X-wing series as an example. From what I recall they were pretty popular, so that might be one to look at. Also mentions Goosebumps and Hunger Games (or parts of them).

Sesc · Jan 13, 2013

First: Beige Prose is a retarded name. Second: It's got nothing to do with "Beige Prose", it's got to do with your writing skills in general. Offhand:

... The steel door was in front of me, Michaels at my back. I pushed it open. The room beyond looked old and dirty, beige paint on the walls, partly stripped. It was bare. Concrete. Smelling like lye and blood. The kind you never want to enter, and the one I'd entered far too often. Behind me, Michaels made a groaning sound.

The reason for it was in front of me; a head, neatly severed; parts of the torso. Seemed like my partner's first encounter with a torture-murder. ...

I can't explicitly tell you where and how to use it, because I never thought about it -- I write what feels right, and usually, what feels right, works. So my best advice is to develop that feel, typically by reading lots and writing more.

Or wait for someone else to come up with a hard and fast guide, but I doubt there's something like that.

Aekiel · Jan 14, 2013

Hemingway is well known for this type of writing and I've always enjoyed his books. I'd suggest reading some to get a feel for how it's supposed to be done.

Perspicacity · Jan 14, 2013

It depends on what you read of his. Old Man and the Sea and The Sun Also Rises, definitely. Some of his other work, not so much. In fact, Hemingway has published several of the longest, most complex sentences in the English language. A master stylist, he was fully capable of cumulative syntax when the situation warranted.

A case in point:

Hemingway in Green Hills of Africa said:

That something I cannot yet define completely but the feeling comes when you write well and truly of something and know impersonally you have written in that way and those who are paid to read it and report on it do not like the subject so they say it is all a fake, yet you know its value absolutely; or when you do something which people do not consider a serious occupation and yet you know truly, that it is as important and has always been as important as all the things that are in fashion, and when, on the sea, you are alone with it and know that this Gulf Stream you are living with, knowing, learning about, and loving, has moved, as it moves, since before man, and that it has gone by the shoreline of that long, beautiful, unhappy island since before Columbus sighted it and that the things you find out about it, and those that have always lived in it are permanent and of value because that stream will flow, as it has flowed, after the Indians, after the Spaniards, after the British, after the Americans and after all the Cubans and all the systems of governments, the richness, the poverty, the martyrdom, the sacrifice and the venality and the cruelty are all gone as the high-piled scow of garbage, bright-colored, white-flecked, ill-smelling, now tilted on its side, spills off its load into the blue water, turning it a pale green to a depth of four or five fathoms as the load spreads across the surface, the sinkable part going down and the flotsam of palm fronds, corks, bottles, and used electric light globes, seasoned with an occasional condom or a deep floating corset, the torn leaves of a student’s exercise book, a well-inflated dog, the occasional rat, the no-longer-distinguished cat; all this well shepherded by the boats of the garbage pickers who pluck their prizes with long poles, as interested, as intelligent, and as accurate as historians; they have the viewpoint; the stream, with no visible flow, takes five loads of this a day when things are going well in La Habana and in ten miles along the coast it is as clear and blue and unimpressed as it was ever before the tug hauled out the scow; and the palm fronds of our victories, the worn light bulbs of our discoveries and the empty condoms of our great loves float with no significance against one single, lasting thing—the stream.
Click to expand...

Roarian · Jan 18, 2013

Perspicacity said: ↑

It depends on what you read of his. Old Man and the Sea and The Sun Also Rises, definitely. Some of his other work, not so much. In fact, Hemingway has published several of the longest, most complex sentences in the English language. A master stylist, he was fully capable of cumulative syntax when the situation warranted.

A case in point:
Click to expand...

Wait, is that a stream-of-consciousness sentence about a stream?

-mind blown-

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Proper Use of Beige Prose

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DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

Hi there, Guest

Proper Use of Beige Prose

Deadsomeone Third Year

Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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