00.40; Subject's bedroom:
Subject finished working with his computer (research about actions he took is currently in progress); proceeded trying to get up from his bed and after a successful attempt, he went to the kitchen (stumbled over one chair and one pair of shoes); proceeded to mak-...
Transmission aborted.

As for an actual review, my first thought after reading the both Prologue and the first chapter was something like: Wow, it was great! I registered that my neck was sore as hell when I was pouring myself a killer cup of coffee, so you got me totally immersed here.

I tried for several minutes to put my thoughts about your piece of work in some kind of order and write them down, so I could give a proper review, but considering the fact that I'm unable to do so, I'll try to write everything I could remember for now.

It's my second try at reading this story (the first time I stopped reading, because of chapter length - to someone like me it was too long and just I couldn't bring myself to finish it) and I'm glad that I managed to get over my laziness and finished it.

About the Prologue, it was great; reading the fight scenes I almost always saw it and had problems with visualizing the whole thing only after Potter started fighting with this spear-like weapon (my brain was probably overcharged); wandless magic didn't bothered me at all, and even emphasised the fact that they where nowhere near things, which we see in books - both sides used it, so things weren't unbalanced, also the fact that a canon doesn't have a good fight scenes, so I just pretended that normal wizards and witches are to lazy to learn something like that, so in the way I see a canon it was completely IC; hand-to-hand combat introduced a nice dynamic to the church scene, somehow reminding me about Systema Kadochnikova, where the need to render useless your opponent, no matter what you have to do, is stressed as one of the most important.

Your Voldemort is awesome, and in his place I'd do exactly the same if I could - always preferred psychological warfare over brute force, and since his minions are powerful like that maybe he doesn't need stronger wizards and witches.

Interesting is also the fact that you introduces a lot of elements from other elements in a way that I wouldn't notice it if I didn't playing with them right know (I need to hurry a little with a new adventure to the Vampire... Need to stay alive.).

I hope that there won't appear some kind of vampire Elder and start a Gehenna, because Potter has probably enough problems with Sabbat and the whole menagerie Riddle gathered.
Also as a BG fan I looking forward to Viconia's appearance in the story - Harry is really desperate if he's trying to bring her back (I'd prefer having to endure several Liliths instead of single, angry Viconia.).

5/5

E. Aakunen

 

This story kicks ass. There it is, pure and simple. The Cappadocian reference was a nice touch, and the fact that the Sabbat joined Voldemort is not too surprising, although the Tzimisce are really pretty destroyed at this point what with the Tremere brutalizing them to claw to prominence. Garou and Kindred though... the Garou only tolerate the Gangrel, and even then it's pretty little. Also, the ranks of Tremere Antitrbu are very few, so acsess to Thaumaturgy has got to be low at best. And really, the only big Sabbat strongholds in Europe are Madrid and Cadiz. And who knows where the Black Hand will fall.

Edit: Aakunen, if an Antediluvian rises and begins Gehenna, well, everyone's fucked.

 

Great story so far. i acually read it when it first came out but i'm reading again.
i had some questions after reading the novel lengeth prologue. Dont know if anyone asked them before.

what ever happened to bellatrix, narcissa, draco, peter, and Lucius? were they killed? or were they used in the ritual that brought back Voldemorts super soldiers?

The stuff that harrys arm is made out of, is that like the vest that frodo had in the lord of the rings?

Why didnt the guy that made the arm make harry an eye like Moodys?(might help him)

harrys wand and the sword merged into the spear. did harry drop it at the church? did anyone go for it after the battle?

just a few things that are very unimportant probably, but i thought i'd ask anyway.

great story by the way.

 

Glad you guys like the story so much and it's great to see a few people who know the VtM storylines and lore. I was a bit worried that a lot of those references would go unnoticed but so far I've gotten quite a bit of feedback on the part it plays.

I couldn't delve as deep into the vampire lore and histories as I would have liked because it would have compromised so much of the story itself, so I borrowed a lot and did my best to inject it into the HP universe without sending everything spiraling out of control.

Don't worry, there won't be a Gehenna (I don't think Voldemort would let something like that pass. ), but there will be a couple Antediluvians (The Assamite's just to name one) who decide to make their appearence in the fanfic.

The thing that I borrowed from the most was the histories of the vampires and their clans, and how it all traces back to Lilith. Vampire The Masquerade never really explores that history, other than mentiong the short relationship between Caine and Lilith. There's a lot of bad blood between Lilith and the entirety of the vampire race and she takes special note to destroy any and all she encounters.

While she might not like helping Harry, she's more than willing to annihilate any of Voldemort's vampire minions.

One thing I'll clear up as well is that Lilith far surpasses any Antediluvian, as well as any 2nd Generation (I believe those are Archaics? Can't ever remember when it was mentioned). In fact, Lilith surpasses even Caine as she's the one who taught him everything he knew about blood magics and turned him into the First Vampire after he was shunned by God for killing Abel. The Succubi themselves are also very much on par with several vampires at once because of their more pureblood beings.

Some parts of this animosity, as well as many confrontations, will unfold in the story as it progresses.

You'll see what happened to them far later in the story, but suffice to say, they're no longer around. And no, none of them will make a surprising comeback from the dead. They are gone for good.

Erm, I only saw the Lord Of The Rings once (Really only paid half-attention too) so I really don't remember what that vest looked like.

A quick description since I don't think I explained it well enough yet in the story is that it's somewhat mechanical looking in design, but still very humanoid in looks. It has muscle structure, shape of a normal arm but as if it were parts of metal or cybernetics pieced together. Almost as if it had been built. Definitely don't confuse it with looking like one large liquid metal arm. (The likes of which Pettigrew got in the Goblet Of Fire movie.)

It's color base is like a steel silver, shining and reflective.

Because Harry's arm was forcibly ripped from his body by Lily and James. There was no magical device used in that, just brute force. If you remember, they even had to regrow parts of his arm bone back just so they could fuse and magically clamp the arm to his body.

Luna's knives had a magical property nobody could identify, almost making them lethal to anyone they're cut by because normal magical healing doesn't work in it. They had to resort to muggle methods just to heal him since the wound in his eyes was resisting everything from charms, potions, even magical herbs they probably used. By the time they had it all done there was no way any magical item or eye would have help him since that part of his eye was basically dead and resistant to anything magical. Strapping a magical eye to it wouldn't have helped, it would have just resisted and he still would have been blind in that area.

So now he just wears a small, black silk bandage around part of his head to keep it covered.

They're not unimportant at all. Any question is a good question since it shows that the reader is that much into it that they want to learn more.

At the moment nobody knows where Harry's wand or the Gryffindor sword are located, or if they are even together. He did lose them at the Church, but remember that it blasted away Luna when she tried to grab ahold of it, so not only will it let no one but Harry wield it but it also won't let any dark being touch.

It's going to be one of the big mysteries in the story, possibly not even resolved until the end. Harry's wand is an important artifact to him and even Voldemort as it's another part of the prophecy proving that they are equals.

Hope that clears up any questions or thoughts you guys had on the story and thanks so much for the feedback.

 

The Assamite Antediluvian? Wow, somebody is going to die. I wouldn't take my chances with an 8th generation Assamite without significant backup, say about a dozen mages (not HP wizards, I'm talking Technocracy.) let alone the Anteduiluvian. What with Antediluvians coming back... Has the Tal'Mahe'Ra joined Voldemort? And Lilith might be able to stalemate Caine or kill anyone down from him, but he and his Childer together...

Insert as many VtM references as you wish, because I lovey them good.

P.S: Ooh, speaking Technocracy... Will Harry encounter any of the mages?

 

you said that harry could control the succubi through lilith. does that mean he could control the incubi also?

 

This story is good cant wait until an update

 

James nodded, turning to walk from the room. Voldemort's voice called out.

"And do tend to your wife's pleasures before you leave. I have been receiving complaints from my Death Eaters that she isn't...gentle...with some our female slaves while you are away."

is Voldemort using his super soldiers for other things? or is lily really like that? (using female slaves for pleasure without being told to by Voldemort or others)



Also harry has lilith now, wont the others be easy with her help? Or does he plan to leave behind when he get the next queen/lady?

 

Lily is really like that without anyone, Voldemort included, telling her what to do. While they are completely obedient to Voldemort and willing to do anything he asks them to do, the ressurected are still very much capable of free thought and action. They could go against one of Voldemort's orders if need be, but whether or not they want to is entirely their choice.

As the fic progress' you'll start to see the glaring or subtle differences in their personalities, and wheere exactly Voldemort's ressurected differentiate from one another.

Lily unfortunately (Or fortunately. However you decide to look at it), thrives off James being nearby. Not just to sate her increased sexual hunger, but because of how the ressurection reacted when they were brought back to life. It affected each of them differently. When he's not nearby, or she's gone a while without his touch, she can definitely become...agitated. Thus, she goes off on her own and takes out her frustration on female slaves.

Voldemort has no idea, or perhaps he just does not always care, when they act in similar ways to take out their frustrations or how they act because of lasting effects of the ressurection. (Though not all of them rape and brutalize the females like Lily does.......Ginny may or may not have gained a disturbing taste for human flesh.)

In many ways, despite being highly intelligent and having an ungodly lethality, they are like children in many respects; sometimes having to be reprimanded by Voldemort not to get too carried away with their newfound 'Anger Management' techniques.

Where Harry and Lilith is concerned, he could very well use her to help him in getting the other women but I doubt it will really ever happen.

One of the underlying tones of the entire fic is the defining of Harry's perseverance against unimaginable odds. And every time he goes after a woman, the areas and situations he finds himself in vary from place to place. From puzzles and traps, or great creatures or beings he has to fight off (Or sometimes listen to), from outrunning floods and jumping off cliffs, to uncovering the secrets of every major religious belief in existence, it's all about his triumph.

I won't outrightly say that Lilith (Or the others) might not help him in those conquests, but at the moment I have no plans for them to really help him whenever he goes after another. (They'll have their own problems to worry about.)

EDIT: Missed the earlier post about Harry controlling the Incubi. The Incubi aren't under Lilith's control at all. They were actually just rampaging, bloodthirsty animals that Harry happened to cross paths with. More about their relationship and tie-ins with Lilith and her Succubi will be revealed in later chapters.

 

A question, is it reasonable to assume that each of the Queens and Ladies come with Free Army card?

Based on your replies to us, I get the impression that each and every Queen and Ladies have an army at their beck and call for some reason... Or is it just me?

 

this is probably gonna sound stupid but are lily, james and the other still human?

 

I might get torn a new one here, but...

Any word on progress on Chapter 2? It's only 10 days until this story is one year old!

 

I imagine that we should hold anniversary celebrations.

 

Great story! Nice smut too, but i really like the epic scale of things. Harry seriously rocks, even if he appeared to wimp out a bit at the beginning. Yes, emotional torture and all that, but it should have been easy to ignore in battle unless someone spiked his juice.

Looking at the dates i see i shouldn't be holding vigil by the comp for the next chapter, but i will be back for more.

An extra cigar for the immense chapter length.

g

 

Something's up. Ficwad's not loading either of the 2 chapters.

 

Has anyone talked to Thalarian recently? I just did a search and he has not posted in about 3 months, and Chapter 1 came out over a year ago now.

Anyone have any idea on an update?

 

Reading is tech. This is a fairly constant question, but it's been answered quite a few times, most of them resulting in a sort of mob; I know from experience, since I started one of them. The author's working at his or her own pace, and probably ran into troubles; Thalarian doesn't seem like a person to half-ass anything, so it probably takes him a good while to finish his chapters. And if he runs into problems in between start and completion, it's going to take a long time to resolve, since his chapters are so massive and it doesn't seem hard to lose your train of thought after a break or two. He's probably not one to post it uncompleted either, like many authors do when they're in a quandary.

While a year may be a bit on the long side for a chapter update, there's probably nothing to do for it. If he's too busy to post, he's most certainly too busy to write. There's the chance that it's been abandoned, but I'm keeping my hopes up with only a single chapter (not including the prologue) loaded.

 

I would say that the second chapter and the rest of the story in general will take time to complete as the author is putting a lot of effort into making this a great epic story and not just a fic. I look forward to this and I am quite enthused to see someone taking on such an enormous effort as this work will entail, and I would like to offer any help I can give with this, though for some of it I would definitely have to reread some of the WoD lore.

 

Does anyone know if this is posted in its entirety anywhere other than FicWad?

 

Wouldn't be surprised if everyones whining has pushed him to pull a Master Eldryn. Wouldn't blame him.